I have exactly this dilemma right now. I could make things up with my estranged wife. We both clearly love each other after so long together and I have to say despite my actions over the years. We have not had any sexual contact for eighteen months and don’t want any.

I could move in with my naughty nurse who says she loves me even though we only met a few months ago, the sex is incredible. I know that’s always the case in a new relationship. However, it’s taken me all these years to find someone who is hornier than me. She is off the scale!

What to do?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Still to new to have an answer

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By *oftandGentle2Couple over a year ago

leeds

"I have exactly this dilemma right now. I could make things up with my estranged wife. We both clearly love each other after so long together and I have to say despite my actions over the years. We have not had any sexual contact for eighteen months and don’t want any.

What to do?"

You love eachother, but are you “in love” with eachother?

There is a world of difference...

The fact your even having to ask the question tell (me) your answer!

Best of luck Hun x

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By *etLikeMan over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Compersion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It depends on how deep that love is. If it was complete unabandoned, can't live without each other love, then I'd drop almost everything to have it... except my children. That type of love is too rare to choose swinging over, in my opinion.

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS over a year ago

Cornwall

"No contest sex is fantastic but pails into nothing in comparison to love and affection. "

I'll go with that ^^^

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Being with the love of your life who accepts you as you are and knows that you need to share sexual experiences with other people in order to be fulfilled is more than a dream come true. I choose both. For me, they go hand in hand and I need both to be happy.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"

Oh that is so sweet!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Yes of course I don’t even swing any more lol

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"

you charmer you ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist. I want him to belong to me and me to him, I've never been good at sharing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Compersion "

No mate no

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams

you charmer you ....

You've been there then.its a great place

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Without a backward glance

conquers all

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. "

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"It depends on how deep that love is. If it was complete unabandoned, can't live without each other love, then I'd drop almost everything to have it... except my children. That type of love is too rare to choose swinging over, in my opinion. "

So could you have that if the sex was s@#t?

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

Yep. But looking for love is causing more heartache than swinging

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point."

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have both

But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. "

No, it means making your partners needs your priority and your own best pleasure if they don't want to swing anymore. You may love swinging more than your partner - normal people love their partner more IMO.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So could you have that if the sex was s@#t? "

I wouldn't even be able to have that type of love if the sex was shit. The feelings wouldn't get far

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By *eelouWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

It would need to be someone really special but yes I'd happily give it up for love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have both

But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that "

I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.

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By *eelouWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

That's rather condescending in itself to be fair. Swinging has many forms these days. What you deem to be swinging doesn't mean everyone else has to agree.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love is great so is swinging Its all down to what you both want in life..my gf would kill me if I was with another woman but I'm.happy with he to have another man join us..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have both

But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that

I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.

I don’t need anything either. This is just a wee added extra. I’d maybe stay on here for the forums (which he knows I enjoy) but I’d hide my profile and remove my pictures

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

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By *eelouWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Totally agree there

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By *_Yeah19Couple over a year ago

Lincoln

Yes, but I couldn’t give up the mindset of sexual openness. That’s more important in our relationship than actual swinging I think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have both

But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that

I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.

I don’t need anything either. This is just a wee added extra. I’d maybe stay on here for the forums (which he knows I enjoy) but I’d hide my profile and remove my pictures

I'm here for forums.anything else is a bonus

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

There are lots of couples who have met through fab..a few have even got married so i think you are way off there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have both

But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that

I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.

I don’t need anything either. This is just a wee added extra. I’d maybe stay on here for the forums (which he knows I enjoy) but I’d hide my profile and remove my pictures

I'm here for forums.anything else is a bonus "

Me too

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By *eelouWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab? "

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

There are lots of couples who have met through fab..a few have even got married so i think you are way off there"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Totally agree there"

I don't agree with this at all. I have a 3 year old to prove that

. It may not have worked out but we still love and care for one another.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely love first anything else not as important

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy. "

I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.

Oooooh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.

Oooooh

Got to be in it and all that. I also have a very sick mum so that’s not helping but no harm in trying. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What to do?"

Sorry but she may in all likelihood get bored of fucking you. So that spark you speak off, will die off. Or it may not!

There's only so much different types of sex and positions two people can do, then what!? What do you do after you've done it all? Surely bordom eventually sets in, as it's the same old same with the same person.

Is that when an in love couple become swingers? For my with my ex that wasn't an option. Eventually I left him.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

What if you aren't or never were a swinger?

What if you are quite happy sleeping with one person?

I don't think you can shoot down a relationship simply because of where people meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm 50, never been married and would still pick Swinging...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.

Oooooh

Got to be in it and all that. I also have a very sick mum so that’s not helping but no harm in trying. x"

Sometimes it doesn't arrive at the right time, but you have to go with your feelings, or you'll be filled with 'what If's?'. I'm sorry to hear about your mum lovely x

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By *inks_apeyCouple over a year ago

Staffordshire

I started this journey single very anti love and men hence my name once being kinkybifemxx to the thinking this would help a toxic previous relationship, we explored clubs, social situations and I realised I was so much better than that relationship. I was more confident than he ever made me feel and I figured out I needed to go it alone and discover things for myself. Luckily for me in that discovery I stumbled over a little gem who's now my husband and we are still enjoying the ride excuse the pun lol. In the time I did go it alone on here I really had the best time, having some bad experiences (who doesn't), meeting life long friends and just enjoying the naughtiness I wasn't interested in love one bit. My fwb just became abit more frequent and the laughter, spontaneous naughtiness changed my mind x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What to do?"

Can't see you lasting with the one you left behind!

Good luck with what you choose anyway x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definatly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

So agree with you on this .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive become slightly jaded as to what love truly means and the whole keeping yourself for one person only. It can be a lot of time spent not meeting others who you can also share something lovely with. Especially if the long term love goes tits up, as invariably it does

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.

Fingers crossed for you poochie

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end. "

Not always.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt.

I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship.

I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.

Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?

I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.

Oooooh

Got to be in it and all that. I also have a very sick mum so that’s not helping but no harm in trying. x

Sometimes it doesn't arrive at the right time, but you have to go with your feelings, or you'll be filled with 'what If's?'. I'm sorry to hear about your mum lovely x"

Thank you. I agree, I always go for it rather than hesitate x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I met my last partner of six years on here. We had a great time and I do love him in a way,but he was so jealous when we were apart I had to end it. I love being in love 3

And hope to find it here again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why can't I have both?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end. "

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

"Why can't I have both?"

The perfect solution.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seems I’m shit at love so I’ll stick to Fab

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always. "

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

Yes why not both.

Surely a good loving relationship is when your with someone loves and accepts you for who you are and you feel tottaly free to be yourself?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two are not connected for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule? "

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend. "

Cool, how long have you been married?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

Cool, how long have you been married? "

2 weeks away from 37 years

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. "

Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I didn’t say you couldn’t find love within fab. Relationships form on here which I know very well.

The point I’m trying to make is that if someone is using fab to fill a void of loneliness or whatever, it is likely that this particular void is going to only get bigger and they’re just going to keep on feeling much worse.

Whereas, if they were using fab as an addition to their current lifestyle without feeling as though they need to fill these holes they’ve got. It’s a whole different story. There’s a lot of negativity on a site like this, a lot of set backs and it’s not like it’s all hunky dory on here.

My thing is, someone needs to be happy within themselves before they start all this. You join a site like fab primarily looking for someone to have sex with. Now, if you’re not having sex outside of here and fab is your primary place for it. I think that’s trouble. Because, you may not take a lot of people’s interests and that’s going to put you on a downer.

Again sex and love are two separate things. Fab is sex. Love is relationships.

I didn’t say fab doesn’t facilitate the two to come together

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

Cool, how long have you been married?

2 weeks away from 37 years

That's a great achievement. Sincerely, my congratulations. Sadly I think you are the exception to the rule, but that doesn't detract from what you've achieved.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

But surely if your non monogomus sexually by nature then being with someone shares your love of swinging or at least supports your swinging is vital. Because a good loving realtionships is about totally acceptance of each other and both being free to be yourself. If you can't be yourself in a relationship is that not a poor foundation? For me one of the foundations of love is acceptance and love for who someone truly is.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that."

It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love you

#youknowwhoyouare

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I love you

#youknowwhoyouare"

It's our secret tiger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

Cool, how long have you been married?

2 weeks away from 37 years

That's a great achievement. Sincerely, my congratulations. Sadly I think you are the exception to the rule, but that doesn't detract from what you've achieved. "

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But surely if your non monogomus sexually by nature then being with someone shares your love of swinging or at least supports your swinging is vital. Because a good loving realtionships is about totally acceptance of each other and both being free to be yourself. If you can't be yourself in a relationship is that not a poor foundation? For me one of the foundations of love is acceptance and love for who someone truly is."

Nice in theory but everyone has some insecurities surely that could get in the way

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Nice in theory but everyone has some insecurities surely that could get in the way"

Not in the way I think, you are thinking. If you want to make the argument that insecurities are part of human nature, I would counter that human nature is context dependant. As swingers, whatever insecurities that may exist don't manifest themsleves in any significant form. It's possible the could. But it's not inevitable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

But surely that's one of the flaws in the question? Offering only the option to swing or be in love?

I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

But surely that's one of the flaws in the question? Offering only the option to swing or be in love?

I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it. "

The question was whether you'd "swap" swinging for "love". Since you aren't swinging then you have nothing to swap from. Some people are naturally pre-disposed to monogamy, it sounds like you are. Nothing wrong with that. It's the implied false dichotamy of the question that triggered me.

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By *etLikeMan over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

I could have written so much about this but, instead chose earlier to post my shortest post ever here.

I’m quite shocked (and it takes a lot for me) by some of the responses.

Any ultimatum - explicit or implied, is not love, it’s possessiveness, neurosis or jealousy. One thing is is most certainly not, is love.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love you

#youknowwhoyouare

It's our secret tiger

Xox mwah on your tits

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By *etLikeMan over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it. "

So you have casual sex but do not nor will swing?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And yet plenty of swingers do just stop swinging, eg gloswingers.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

I could have written so much about this but, instead chose earlier to post my shortest post ever here.

I’m quite shocked (and it takes a lot for me) by some of the responses.

Any ultimatum - explicit or implied, is not love, it’s possessiveness, neurosis or jealousy. One thing is is most certainly not, is love. "

A lot of people associate sexual infidelity with some kind of relationship flaw. It's just nonsense. If I went to a 3d printer and designed the optimal woman that I could be attracted to, I would still not lose the desire to engage in swinging. Nor would I gain any desire to have the exclusive sexual rights to her.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

I could have written so much about this but, instead chose earlier to post my shortest post ever here.

I’m quite shocked (and it takes a lot for me) by some of the responses.

Any ultimatum - explicit or implied, is not love, it’s possessiveness, neurosis or jealousy. One thing is is most certainly not, is love. "

There does not have to be an ultimatum - simply two people making the same choice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We’re married and very much in love, and enjoy swinging winner winner chicken dinner.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yes,but can I still have the occasional bi mmf if the need arises.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If i found the one.

I wouldnt run.

Id wrap my arms around her.

If she found me.

I wound not flee.

Id kiss her every day.

Id love her, she'd love me.

Life would be so sweet.

Like candy floss at a fair.

My heart would miss a beat.

Id run a hundred miles to her.

Just to see her smile.

And to kiss her lips, her sweet red lips.

Id swim the river Nile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely, would love to find someone great

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I want to have both. I wouldn't want to sacrifice one for the other.

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple over a year ago

Bedworth

I’m lucky that I don’t have to, I found love right here on Fab

However, if there was ever a time where either of us said we didn’t want to be here any more we would both leave. Our relationship is more important than swinging

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could "

Yes, but it doesn't exist anymore.

Besides what is LOVE anyway?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could

Yes, but it doesn't exist anymore.

Besides what is LOVE anyway?"

Oh hell, that's a deep question.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could

Yes, but it doesn't exist anymore.

Besides what is LOVE anyway?

Oh hell, that's a deep question."
quoting Howard jones now look

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point.

They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded.

You can 100% have both. That's that.

But surely that's one of the flaws in the question? Offering only the option to swing or be in love?

I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it.

Yeah I totally understand that. I guess it's not a question that can be answered by most people here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn’t like to choose to be honest. I’ve meet some lovely people in the swing world.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I love you

#youknowwhoyouare"

Love you too babe.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

Nice in theory but everyone has some insecurities surely that could get in the way"

Don't well all? Some more than others. That is a factor normal to all relationships. Although exacerbated in forms of non monogomus relationships. But the way I see it either or both parties not being able to be and espress them self is a far more dangerous and repressive risk than the green eyed monster. It doesn't have to be a theory with acceptance, grown up understanding of the world, self and each other, Love, plus bags of honest adult communication.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

Cool, how long have you been married?

2 weeks away from 37 years

Had to say congratulations to you both. My parents have been married 37 years as well. They married when my mum was 16 and my dad 18. My mum was pregnant with me and it still wasn't a shotgun wedding! Lol.

Hope you have many more happy years to come. It's fab to see long lasting marriages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But neither can you condemn nor justify and yet be extraordinarily alive as you walk on. You can never invite the wind but you must leave the window open

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

Cool, how long have you been married?

2 weeks away from 37 years

Well done amazing achievement and one to be proud of xx

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Did the cynics all get off at this stop?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seems I’m shit at love so I’ll stick to Fab "

Nothing wrong with that... So am I

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want both in one person. "

This

And yes it can happen x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want both in one person.

This

And yes it can happen x"

Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want both in one person.

This

And yes it can happen x

Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think "

I married someone I met on fab and we both continue to enjoy each other and other people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes why not both.

Surely a good loving relationship is when your with someone loves and accepts you for who you are and you feel tottaly free to be yourself? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want both in one person.

This

And yes it can happen x

Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think "

Why do men keep saying its highly unlikely..lots of people have met on here and got married...

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

Of course I would, and I certainly wouldn't limit myself to a swinger as a partner. Swinging is so far down my list of priorities.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.

Not always.

So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?

Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.

Cool, how long have you been married?

2 weeks away from 37 years

Hope you have many more happy years to come. It's fab to see long lasting marriages."

Thank you. We aim to drive each other mad for ever

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could "

The two aren't mutually exclusive. I know a lot of people are using fab to fill emptiness and loneliness and to find some sort of intimacy. I think they probably feel disappointed quite often.

Do you think that couples like us who have discussed and negotiated our way through this with the honesty that's required to make it successful don't love each other? Or are you just talking about singles?

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Me. I’d LOVE to have both but if he doesn’t want to to it, I’m not throwing away love for fucking.

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By *hite_peonyWoman over a year ago

South East

Every time.

Though a combination of both would be fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm available lol