FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do people feel the need to be rude
Why do people feel the need to be rude
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As always these are just my thoughts
This is a great question and an honest one I have been asking myself since being on Fab.
Fortunately not ALL people on FAB are this way but there seems to be a growing majority that are.
We see it in the forums and in messages and it always kind of makes me wonder are people not bothered now about their online image and how people perceive them.
Have we segregated our online persona from our real life persona so much that we feel that what we do online does not affect our real life.
And as more and more interaction is done online are we losing our people skills, does doing everything online inhibits our physical social interaction and sensitivity.
And if that's the case isnt this counter productive to what we are here for.
I see so much in the forums and views that make me feel that I would never want to meet the individual saying it. Some do it because they like the attention, some because they think k it's acceptable to put people down and some do it for shits and giggles.
Or is it that we have become such a ME generation focused on instant gratification that we have lost our human touch and the ability to have empathy for our fellow human beings.
For me to do what we do and have lots of fun there needs to be a connection. We are swingers and that means to us making friends with those we play with.
But also we try to treat people with the respect that we would like to be treated with. MT does fail at this sometimes when we receive a nasty message but in general we try and be polite with everyone as it's not costing us anything and it can improve someone's day.
So think about it when you are about to post something that is rude nasty or just hateful and think if I was at the other end of that how would I feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people get angry or disagree and their replies come across as rude. Unless someone is being personal and having a dig then I think it's to be expected on a forum. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some people get angry or disagree and their replies come across as rude. Unless someone is being personal and having a dig then I think it's to be expected on a forum."
Is it said that it's become the social norm and expected now days.
And I am all for a discussion and I am always happy to hear opposing views but in a polite way lol |
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People's skin is also thinning.
Stuff which isn't really offensive becomes offensive. Obviously not always but you often see comments such as 'snowflake' on forums etc.
This doesn't take away from the fact some people try to cause offence. When really there isn't any need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its usually down to frustration. 
Is that really a good excuse ??? I"
Hell no its not a good excuse at all but it won't stop people being rude and venting. Some people haven't got social skills some are frustrated keyboard commandos there is no excuse for this but how do you educate them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because they can. Face to face many people aren't brave enough to say what's on their mind. Online it feels like there are no repercussions because even if they're being judged they can't see it and it doesn't affect their "real" life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People's skin is also thinning.
Stuff which isn't really offensive becomes offensive. Obviously not always but you often see comments such as 'snowflake' on forums etc.
This doesn't take away from the fact some people try to cause offence. When really there isn't any need."
Is it people's skin thinning or are people not allowing certain attitudes anymore and pulling people up on them
It is difficult when you look at what is offensive because being offended is someone's personal interpolation of what is being said bit being offended and rude behaviour are two different things in my eyes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because they can. Face to face many people aren't brave enough to say what's on their mind. Online it feels like there are no repercussions because even if they're being judged they can't see it and it doesn't affect their "real" life. "
But surely on here it does affect real life. As they are looking to meet people in real time ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As always these are just my thoughts
This is a great question and an honest one I have been asking myself since being on Fab.
Fortunately not ALL people on FAB are this way but there seems to be a growing majority that are.
We see it in the forums and in messages and it always kind of makes me wonder are people not bothered now about their online image and how people perceive them.
Have we segregated our online persona from our real life persona so much that we feel that what we do online does not affect our real life.
And as more and more interaction is done online are we losing our people skills, does doing everything online inhibits our physical social interaction and sensitivity.
And if that's the case isnt this counter productive to what we are here for.
I see so much in the forums and views that make me feel that I would never want to meet the individual saying it. Some do it because they like the attention, some because they think k it's acceptable to put people down and some do it for shits and giggles.
Or is it that we have become such a ME generation focused on instant gratification that we have lost our human touch and the ability to have empathy for our fellow human beings.
For me to do what we do and have lots of fun there needs to be a connection. We are swingers and that means to us making friends with those we play with.
But also we try to treat people with the respect that we would like to be treated with. MT does fail at this sometimes when we receive a nasty message but in general we try and be polite with everyone as it's not costing us anything and it can improve someone's day.
So think about it when you are about to post something that is rude nasty or just hateful and think if I was at the other end of that how would I feel "
I think you can also read to much into what's being written have you considered that in your analogy,fab is a very frustrating world for some, guys because they send many messages many ill conceived and overtly sexual to complete strangers and of course fall on deaf ears, many females receive the said messages and lump all guys into one bracket that of the think with your dick perv, some get so many messages they would actually need a secretary to deal with them and some have been here so long and are the been there done that type, the complacency of some creates the need to be rude by others, judgements are made based on the written word and certainly on the subject matter of the thread.
I for one have great people skills and enjoy interacting with new people at every opportunity and rarely feel the need to be brash or personally critical but we are all different some see the forums as an opportunity to criticise the people attached to the less than thought out threads, which of course in some cases have some herendous subject matters but luckily they are few and far between, the negative threads tend to attract the negative comments. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As always these are just my thoughts
This is a great question and an honest one I have been asking myself since being on Fab.
Fortunately not ALL people on FAB are this way but there seems to be a growing majority that are.
We see it in the forums and in messages and it always kind of makes me wonder are people not bothered now about their online image and how people perceive them.
Have we segregated our online persona from our real life persona so much that we feel that what we do online does not affect our real life.
And as more and more interaction is done online are we losing our people skills, does doing everything online inhibits our physical social interaction and sensitivity.
And if that's the case isnt this counter productive to what we are here for.
I see so much in the forums and views that make me feel that I would never want to meet the individual saying it. Some do it because they like the attention, some because they think k it's acceptable to put people down and some do it for shits and giggles.
Or is it that we have become such a ME generation focused on instant gratification that we have lost our human touch and the ability to have empathy for our fellow human beings.
For me to do what we do and have lots of fun there needs to be a connection. We are swingers and that means to us making friends with those we play with.
But also we try to treat people with the respect that we would like to be treated with. MT does fail at this sometimes when we receive a nasty message but in general we try and be polite with everyone as it's not costing us anything and it can improve someone's day.
So think about it when you are about to post something that is rude nasty or just hateful and think if I was at the other end of that how would I feel I think you can also read to much into what's being written have you considered that in your analogy,fab is a very frustrating world for some, guys because they send many messages many ill conceived and overtly sexual to complete strangers and of course fall on deaf ears, many females receive the said messages and lump all guys into one bracket that of the think with your dick perv, some get so many messages they would actually need a secretary to deal with them and some have been here so long and are the been there done that type, the complacency of some creates the need to be rude by others, judgements are made based on the written word and certainly on the subject matter of the thread.
I for one have great people skills and enjoy interacting with new people at every opportunity and rarely feel the need to be brash or personally critical but we are all different some see the forums as an opportunity to criticise the people attached to the less than thought out threads, which of course in some cases have some herendous subject matters but luckily they are few and far between, the negative threads tend to attract the negative comments. "
I totally understand that fab is a frustrating world for anyone on it to be honest. But that does not say we should condone rudeness |
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I'm the same on and off. Maybe that means I lack imagination, I think it makes me truthful to myself. I can't act for shit, and wouldn't want to give someone one impression of me online and then have them meet someone totally different in real life.
Yep, sometimes I can be a smart mouth, if you meet me in the flesh I can be a smart mouth then too, the only difference is that you'll hear the tone in which it's said, rather than the tone in which it's read, which can make it completely different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As always these are just my thoughts
This is a great question and an honest one I have been asking myself since being on Fab.
Fortunately not ALL people on FAB are this way but there seems to be a growing majority that are.
We see it in the forums and in messages and it always kind of makes me wonder are people not bothered now about their online image and how people perceive them.
Have we segregated our online persona from our real life persona so much that we feel that what we do online does not affect our real life.
And as more and more interaction is done online are we losing our people skills, does doing everything online inhibits our physical social interaction and sensitivity.
And if that's the case isnt this counter productive to what we are here for.
I see so much in the forums and views that make me feel that I would never want to meet the individual saying it. Some do it because they like the attention, some because they think k it's acceptable to put people down and some do it for shits and giggles.
Or is it that we have become such a ME generation focused on instant gratification that we have lost our human touch and the ability to have empathy for our fellow human beings.
For me to do what we do and have lots of fun there needs to be a connection. We are swingers and that means to us making friends with those we play with.
But also we try to treat people with the respect that we would like to be treated with. MT does fail at this sometimes when we receive a nasty message but in general we try and be polite with everyone as it's not costing us anything and it can improve someone's day.
So think about it when you are about to post something that is rude nasty or just hateful and think if I was at the other end of that how would I feel I think you can also read to much into what's being written have you considered that in your analogy,fab is a very frustrating world for some, guys because they send many messages many ill conceived and overtly sexual to complete strangers and of course fall on deaf ears, many females receive the said messages and lump all guys into one bracket that of the think with your dick perv, some get so many messages they would actually need a secretary to deal with them and some have been here so long and are the been there done that type, the complacency of some creates the need to be rude by others, judgements are made based on the written word and certainly on the subject matter of the thread.
I for one have great people skills and enjoy interacting with new people at every opportunity and rarely feel the need to be brash or personally critical but we are all different some see the forums as an opportunity to criticise the people attached to the less than thought out threads, which of course in some cases have some herendous subject matters but luckily they are few and far between, the negative threads tend to attract the negative comments.
I totally understand that fab is a frustrating world for anyone on it to be honest. But that does not say we should condone rudeness "
I don't condone it I offer the obvious reasons why it happens, many people here feel detached from reality it's like a secret society, many see it as solely ' sex ' and approach it as just that eg ' want to fuck me now I'm in your area ' some are just ignorant people and some because it's cyber are not accountable for what they say rude or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get angry or disagree and their replies come across as rude. Unless someone is being personal and having a dig then I think it's to be expected on a forum.
Is it said that it's become the social norm and expected now days.
And I am all for a discussion and I am always happy to hear opposing views but in a polite way lol"
Because not everyone is polite. Some are condescending, some are belittling, some are bitchy and some are down right rude.
That's life and this place reflects life.
As long as I'm free to counter these comments- and others are free to counter mine, we should be ok  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People's skin is also thinning.
Stuff which isn't really offensive becomes offensive. Obviously not always but you often see comments such as 'snowflake' on forums etc.
This doesn't take away from the fact some people try to cause offence. When really there isn't any need.
Is it people's skin thinning or are people not allowing certain attitudes anymore and pulling people up on them
It is difficult when you look at what is offensive because being offended is someone's personal interpolation of what is being said bit being offended and rude behaviour are two different things in my eyes "
This is a good point.
When people do call someone out in their comments it is necessarily because they are offended or "butt hurt" as people like to call it on here. It can be because they feel it's something that should be addressed . |
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"Some people get angry or disagree and their replies come across as rude. Unless someone is being personal and having a dig then I think it's to be expected on a forum.
Is it said that it's become the social norm and expected now days.
And I am all for a discussion and I am always happy to hear opposing views but in a polite way lol"
I’m afraid it’s simply the modern day dangerous mix of an audience, keyboard, and total anonymity . The last item being key. It’ s just the sad result of the online world. |
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I can be really rude, usually as a result of others behaviour
I'll happily call someone out if I don't agree with them.
Does not mean I'm a bad person, I'm just not happy to tolerate that from others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can be really rude, usually as a result of others behaviour
I'll happily call someone out if I don't agree with them.
Does not mean I'm a bad person, I'm just not happy to tolerate that from others."
Do you think that is as a reaction to being here to long though? |
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"I can be really rude, usually as a result of others behaviour
I'll happily call someone out if I don't agree with them.
Does not mean I'm a bad person, I'm just not happy to tolerate that from others.Do you think that is as a reaction to being here to long though? "
What do you mean?
|
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In person I can be very rude and dismissive. People used to think I had an attitude and thought I was better than them. Online I have time to think when I type. In person I just say the first thing in my head.
It wasn’t until I started dating one of those “professional” types I realised it was Autism/aspergers.
I now stop and think a bit more using a little coping tool in my addled brain.
It’s more common than I thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can be really rude, usually as a result of others behaviour
I'll happily call someone out if I don't agree with them.
Does not mean I'm a bad person, I'm just not happy to tolerate that from others.Do you think that is as a reaction to being here to long though?
What do you mean?
"
is the reaction you talked of solely to people's bad behaviour here? |
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"I can be really rude, usually as a result of others behaviour
I'll happily call someone out if I don't agree with them.
Does not mean I'm a bad person, I'm just not happy to tolerate that from others.Do you think that is as a reaction to being here to long though?
What do you mean?
is the reaction you talked of solely to people's bad behaviour here? "
Oh no I'll tell then in real life too. Sometimes more abruptly than I would like |
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