FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you ashamed?
Are you ashamed?
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"To some, I am not really a swinger, just a woman of a certain age who has a liberal _iew about sex etc., and is confident enough to go to swingers club to have fun, and meet gents on a 1-1 basis for casual sex from time to time. Some that are uptight and narrow-minded would call me a slag.
"yeh we heard u the first time  | |||
There's a song in there somewhere | |||
"To some, I am not really a swinger, just a woman of a certain age who has a liberal _iew about sex etc., and is confident enough to go to swingers club to have fun, and meet gents on a 1-1 basis for casual sex from time to time. Some that are uptight and narrow-minded would call me a slag.
"Agreed and I would hate my work colleagues to find out. Yes I am a closet swinger, none of my friends or family know. | |||
"To some, I am not really a swinger, just a woman of a certain age who has a liberal _iew about sex etc., and is confident enough to go to swingers club to have fun, and meet gents on a 1-1 basis for casual sex from time to time. Some that are uptight and narrow-minded would call me a slag.
yeh we heard u the first time ". No need to be sarcastic!
My internet connection was off and I pressed the sent message button twice, that's all.
Duplicated post now deleted. | |||
"To some, I am not really a swinger, just a woman of a certain age who has a liberal _iew about sex etc., and is confident enough to go to swingers club to have fun, and meet gents on a 1-1 basis for casual sex from time to time. Some that are uptight and narrow-minded would call me a slag.
Agreed and I would hate my work colleagues to find out. Yes I am a closet swinger, none of my friends or family know.". Some of my work colleagues know, and the my closest friends know. My mum and bro and my ex-hubby whom I am in good terms with don't. | |||
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"To some, I am not really a swinger, just a woman of a certain age who has a liberal _iew about sex etc., and is confident enough to go to swingers club to have fun, and meet gents on a 1-1 basis for casual sex from time to time. Some that are uptight and narrow-minded would call me a slag.
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"Live and let live I say, Personally I think I would be much more ashamed of having a hobby such as fishing "+ 1 | |||
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"I dont discuss my 'vanilla' sex life with friends, family or work colleagues so I dont see any reason to discuss what I do on here with them either..." My point of _iew too. I don't discuss my clients, my bank balance etc with all and sundry so my sex life is no ones business. I'm single, my friends and family know I meet men off the net but they assume I'm on eharmony...why shatter their (de)illusions?!! | |||
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"Live and let live I say, Personally I think I would be much more ashamed of having a hobby such as fishing "You make a very good point there. I think train spotting, standing on railway platforms writing down numbers of trains in a notebook more disturbing than swinging | |||
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" Personally I think I would be much more ashamed of having a hobby such as fishing "I keep reading that as Fisting... I need new contact lens | |||
" Personally I think I would be much more ashamed of having a hobby such as fishing
I keep reading that as Fisting... I need new contact lens". Nah, you just have a filthy mind! | |||
" Personally I think I would be much more ashamed of having a hobby such as fishing
I keep reading that as Fisting... I need new contact lens
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Nah, you just have a filthy mind! " | |||
" Personally I think I would be much more ashamed of having a hobby such as fishing
I keep reading that as Fisting... I need new contact lens"*Giggles*...you are a one! | |||
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" You make a very good point there. I think train spotting, standing on railway platforms writing down numbers of trains in a notebook more disturbing than swinging "Proud RAILWAY ENTHUSIAST here! Yes, I did the spotting bit but I now concentrate on railway history and travel. Some proffessor has equated train spotting to hunting and many train spotters will travel great distances to "hunt out and bag" the ones they`re missing! So don`t you go dissin` us gricers!
Anyway, I didn`t use a notebook1 I used a dictaphone! (cue smutty joke!) | |||
" You make a very good point there. I think train spotting, standing on railway platforms writing down numbers of trains in a notebook more disturbing than swinging
Proud RAILWAY ENTHUSIAST here! Yes, I did the spotting bit but I now concentrate on railway history and travel. Some proffessor has equated train spotting to hunting and many train spotters will travel great distances to "hunt out and bag" the ones they`re missing! So don`t you go dissin` us gricers!
Anyway, I didn`t use a notebook1 I used a dictaphone! (cue smutty joke!)"Ooo Bumpy I feel bad now that I made that flippant comment, am very sorry | |||
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"Ashamed..no, we dont swing, If we did im sure neither of us would be ashamed about it..its not illegal (yet!!)..I would be more ashamed if I was a single guy who went out and pulled a different woman every week, led them on screwed them then dropped them and moved on to the next one...now thats shameful...but we still wouldn't want people knowing that we even used a site like this..living in a small village it would invariably get back to our kids..and thats not on, theres enough shit going down in this bad ol world, kids need to be protected from as much of it as possible. Plus given peoples general blinkered narrow mindedness we would end up being branded as 'dirty sex perverts' or such like...not good in the jobs we do.." I totally agree with what you are saying about protecting kids and I would have protected mine if they were still young.My kids also realise that it is a chosen lifestyle possibly more suitable for those who have a grown up family. I also agree with what you say about other people's blinkered _iew of the world. Dont get me wrong, I am not walking round with a poster declaring my passion for swinging for those very reasons - but my mates etc do know and accept it. | |||
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"I am just wondering - looking at the various posts above - if the choice for disclosure of being a swinger depends a bit on what your family and friends and colleagues are used to. What I mean by that is that if you are a bit of a bubbly extrovert and maybe rebellious kind of person, perhaps they would be more likely to expect you to be a swinger and therefore it would be easier for them to accept it? Consequently it would be more "natural" I guess for you to disclose... if this makes sense? Just a thought..." i agree,my uni friends,the close ones, all knew me and kev had a longstanding 3 way relationship ,they couldnt not know i'm a bit loud
A couple know we are swingers...and as u imagine,they are not at all surprised. | |||
"ashamed? no concerned as to how my children might react,or how others may react towards my children,yes of course" ditto | |||
"To some, I am not really a swinger, just a woman of a certain age who has a liberal _iew about sex etc., and is confident enough to go to swingers club to have fun, and meet gents on a 1-1 basis for casual sex from time to time. Some that are uptight and narrow-minded would call me a slag.
Agreed and I would hate my work colleagues to find out. Yes I am a closet swinger, none of my friends or family know."some1 knows cause your mot on cam alone | |||
"I would be more ashamed if I was a single guy who went out and pulled a different woman every week, led them on screwed them then dropped them and moved on to the next one...now thats shameful..." Bit judgemental and unfair I think. Game playing single males are far from uncommon on the swinging scene. | |||
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"I would be more ashamed if I was a single guy who went out and pulled a different woman every week, led them on screwed them then dropped them and moved on to the next one...now thats shameful... Bit judgemental and unfair I think. Game playing single males are far from uncommon on the swinging scene. " Agreed and also, who has the right to judge anybody? | |||
"I would be more ashamed if I was a single guy who went out and pulled a different woman every week, led them on screwed them then dropped them and moved on to the next one...now thats shameful... Bit judgemental and unfair I think. Game playing single males are far from uncommon on the swinging scene. Agreed and also, who has the right to judge anybody? "Did you rate the shags too | |||
"I would be more ashamed if I was a single guy who went out and pulled a different woman every week, led them on screwed them then dropped them and moved on to the next one...now thats shameful... Bit judgemental and unfair I think. Game playing single males are far from uncommon on the swinging scene. " No Boho...I didnt mean on the swinging scene..I meant out there in vanilla land...even as a single fun loving stud in my twenties, I never treated women like that...and I stick by what I said I think its shameful to screw women, give em the 'ill give you a ring routine' boast about it to your mates and have another one the following week.. | |||
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, but not struck up any sort of dialogue - not really the sort of thing to discuss around the frozen food in Tescos...
Wolf
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"To admit you are a swinger? My curiosity was sparked from answers on a thread in swingers chat Personally ive never been ashamed to admit to anyone that I was Although I dont go shouting about it exactly if sex or swinging came into any conversation I will and have openly admitted to anyone that im a swinger or Bi and most people I know including family know Is it because of the perceived stigma of it or is there other reasons? I have seen answers to similar before and do actually understand peoples reluctance to admit But whats your particular reason?? xx "We are pretty private people in general and don't like everybody knowing all our business. (that includes family & friends) So to answer your question, no we would never admit we are swingers. I (Mrs) grew up in a very strict and straight laced household. Sex wasn't spoken about and was only something you were supposed to do when married. My family are still very much like that so if they knew would really upset them. | |||
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"I am not ashamed of what I do and have done, nor am I embarrassed by it. I always have been and always will be honest about the skeletons in my closet to perspective real life partners. My close friends and work colleagues know I have an unorthodox sex life… they don’t need to know all the details of it just as I don’t know all the details of theirs. Whilst I have no guilt related feelings, I don’t feel the need to announce my choice of recreational activity to the world. I appreciate not everyone I know or encounter will have an open mind to recreational sex and so do not discuss it with them, as it would not be appropriate…. and quite frankly too much hassle…. much in the same way as not thinking it appropriate to tell my work colleagues who have close connections to the church that I believe God does not exist. " + 1 | |||
"I am not ashamed of what I do and have done, nor am I embarrassed by it. I always have been and always will be honest about the skeletons in my closet to perspective real life partners. My close friends and work colleagues know I have an unorthodox sex life… they don’t need to know all the details of it just as I don’t know all the details of theirs. Whilst I have no guilt related feelings, I don’t feel the need to announce my choice of recreational activity to the world. I appreciate not everyone I know or encounter will have an open mind to recreational sex and so do not discuss it with them, as it would not be appropriate…. and quite frankly too much hassle…. much in the same way as not thinking it appropriate to tell my work colleagues who have close connections to the church that I believe God does not exist. " are you a writer? you should be, you have a way of putting things into words ........ totally agree | |||
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" are you a writer? you should be, you have a way of putting things into words ........ totally agree" Sadly not... I'm a photographer. Would you like me to etch-a-sketch your genitals? | |||
" are you a writer? you should be, you have a way of putting things into words ........ totally agree Sadly not... I'm a photographer. Would you like me to etch-a-sketch your genitals?" | |||
" are you a writer? you should be, you have a way of putting things into words ........ totally agree Sadly not... I'm a photographer. Would you like me to etch-a-sketch your genitals?" 
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"At first, reading various threads, we too wondered if some people were ashamed of swinging. However, in retrospect ashamed seems to be the wrong word, embarrassed would seem to be a more accurate description. If we ever thought we'd be ashamed or embarrassed by swinging we'd never have done it, much less repeated it. All our friends know what we do, we don't broadcast it but are open if the subject comes up. We both work with the public but have never had any negative reactions. Most swingers problems are probably not with their jobs, or even their children, but with their own embarrassment when trying to explain their swinging to others. XXXX " I do understand that a swinger's job prospects could be affected by his/her indulging in the scene so to speak. Personally, I think that's a shame for I would never discriminate against anybody on the grounds of their beliefs, behaviours and way of life if those dont affect me, I would for example not judge somebody for being a freemason or a member of some occult group. There is something to be said for the ability to let some (clearly not the entire village or town where you live) know - nobody will ever try to blackmail you on the grounds that you have a libertine lifestyle. A local businessman, who is known for his acitivities in the scene, recently made a public statement along those lines... | |||
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"In my previous post I mentioned I would not hide what I do and have done sexually from a perspective partner, so as not to try to hide any skeletons…. I could not share my life with anyone who judged me for it and certainly not with anyone who had use for the word ‘slag’. Over the years I have (as I am sure many of you have) seen plenty of singles post how they would hide the time they have spent on sites like this from their future partners…. deleting the account and putting it all behind them. Fair enough on the change in lifestyle, but it has made me wonder…. Once something is on the internet, it is out there and out of your control… profile text, face pics, tit shots, the classic flange spreader shot… the archives of the internet hold them all. Add to that the ol’ degrees of separation and sooner or later…… hmmmmm. Do those who think they can deny their own actions and forget they were every sleeping around with folk off the internet (no matter how much you call them friends first) really believe it will make your wardrobe bone free if you delete your account? I would not like to live with that time bomb ticking away. The thought that one day I’d be coming home to a previously clueless partner, sitting in a livingroom with their laptop….. and more bones than Fred West’s patio clattering to the floor. " Great post and exactly why we're open about what we do and have done. We'd hate to live with a "Sword of Damocles" hanging over us. Imagine being at a party or gathering in a pub and some d*unk from the past outing you
No thank you, we would rather be honest beforehand instead of waiting for the hammer to fall.
XXXX | |||
" No thank you, we would rather be honest beforehand instead of waiting for the hammer to fall.
XXXX"Precisely xx | |||
"In my previous post I mentioned I would not hide what I do and have done sexually from a perspective partner, so as not to try to hide any skeletons…. I could not share my life with anyone who judged me for it and certainly not with anyone who had use for the word ‘slag’. Over the years I have (as I am sure many of you have) seen plenty of singles post how they would hide the time they have spent on sites like this from their future partners…. deleting the account and putting it all behind them. Fair enough on the change in lifestyle, but it has made me wonder…. Once something is on the internet, it is out there and out of your control… profile text, face pics, tit shots, the classic flange spreader shot… the archives of the internet hold them all. Add to that the ol’ degrees of separation and sooner or later…… hmmmmm. Do those who think they can deny their own actions and forget they were every sleeping around with folk off the internet (no matter how much you call them friends first) really believe it will make your wardrobe bone free if you delete your account? I would not like to live with that time bomb ticking away. The thought that one day I’d be coming home to a previously clueless partner, sitting in a livingroom with their laptop….. and more bones than Fred West’s patio clattering to the floor. " As I've said many times the truth always outs And I've always been open and honest bout it fa that very reason xx | |||
"To admit you are a swinger? My curiosity was sparked from answers on a thread in swingers chat Personally ive never been ashamed to admit to anyone that I was Although I dont go shouting about it exactly if sex or swinging came into any conversation I will and have openly admitted to anyone that im a swinger or Bi and most people I know including family know Is it because of the perceived stigma of it or is there other reasons? I have seen answers to similar before and do actually understand peoples reluctance to admit But whats your particular reason?? xx "There's certain people I wouldn't want to know. My kids being at the top of that list. I wouldn't want them to be the victims of gossip or bullying because of us having a little fun. Then my mum, she would freak and I'd never hear the last of it till I promised I was never having sex again. then there's other people like work colleagues and neighbours that I wouldn't be too hot about them finding out. Mainly because they would form their own opinions about what we got up to, make assumptions about our relationship and I wouldn't want to open a dialogue with them about it to tell them their assumptions are a load of bollox! But most of our friends know and they couldn't care less and are actually quite intrigued by it all. These people know and love us for who we are and I would't hide away any aspect of my life from them xx | |||
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