FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > In celebration of women who overcome awful guys
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration " Thank you! We do try to see the best in people, I know I do but sometimes there does come a time where you think fuck it! You won’t bounce back! | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration " Thank you, I’m just a stubborn bugger and won’t let anybody beat me. I know not everyone is that bad so I don’t tar all men with the same brush. There are some good guys out there x | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? " | |||
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"Sorry OP I didn't mean to put a downer on your thread. Shit day. x" I hope things pick up for you x | |||
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"I actually really appreciate this post. I'm just over 6 months free from 5 years of abusive hell. I'm a little worse for wear and maybe fussier for it but I'm doing really good for the most part. " | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? " I was just thinking the same.. | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? " and the ones that repeat the cycle with different, but equally awful, partners because that has become the norm for them it needn't just be women who suffer either there are some nasty controlling women out there too who make their husbands & boyfriends suffer there are men and women in same sex relationships who face the same daily grind too i am not detracting from your initial post, just from the fact it was very narrow in its content everyone who has suffered (or is still suffering) from being with a controlling partner needs all the support and confidence that we can afford them | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. " But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird" How do you know they have no clue about it? Everyone has their own story. | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird How do you know they have no clue about it? Everyone has their own story." True i just think its a bit odd | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird How do you know they have no clue about it? Everyone has their own story. True i just think its a bit odd" Some people find it easier to talk about than others for sure | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird How do you know they have no clue about it? Everyone has their own story. True i just think its a bit odd Some people find it easier to talk about than others for sure " As per the other thread about gaslighting not everyone (me included) is comfortable dragging it all up again and not everyone gets why we let it go for so long.. my abuse did not officially stop until my divorce finally came through 1 yr ago, and that was 6 yrs after i fled with my child.. | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird" In all honesty, no one will truly understand the things I've been through unless they've been through exactly the same as I have, yet I still appreciate it a lot when people give me the time and freedom to discuss it. Just because someone doesn't understand it completely doesn't mean that they can't listen to me and see how they can help in their own way. My issue is, ironically, a subject that men understand more than women. | |||
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"It definitely does go both ways. I was the victim of two sociopath women who cheated, were abusive, lied about having cancer, lied about being pregnant and miscarrying my baby, lied about having a daughter that died young...and that's just scratching the surface. Instead of tipping your hat to just women maybe tip your hat to all victims of abuse, regardless of their gender." very true x | |||
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"It definitely does go both ways. I was the victim of two sociopath women who cheated, were abusive, lied about having cancer, lied about being pregnant and miscarrying my baby, lied about having a daughter that died young...and that's just scratching the surface. Instead of tipping your hat to just women maybe tip your hat to all victims of abuse, regardless of their gender." | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. " I believe there is always a way, sometimes a little help is needed to find the right route out of it. | |||
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"I think this thread could have been more inclusive, instead of playing to the gallery." He's a man, interested in woman - that's just his frame of reference. | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? " They will hopefully take heart, keep trying, and keep hoping. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration " Whenever threads on loss and trouble come up, I am always astonished and amazed by what some people on here have been through. Sometimes I think there's a bunch of 'fucked up puppies' on here, but my god, considering what some have been through we're a bunch of bloody miracles! | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. " Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. | |||
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"It definitely does go both ways. I was the victim of two sociopath women who cheated, were abusive, lied about having cancer, lied about being pregnant and miscarrying my baby, lied about having a daughter that died young...and that's just scratching the surface. Instead of tipping your hat to just women maybe tip your hat to all victims of abuse, regardless of their gender." | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. " Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. " | |||
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"Wonderful sentiment OP. Not going to share my story, but this is a very thoughtful post " This Lovely post | |||
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"I think this thread could have been more inclusive, instead of playing to the gallery. These things happen to all people in all aspects of life, everyone’s got there own battles that they are dealing with. " Couldn't agree more, seems like it's a bit of brown nosing by the OP towards the ladies on the site! | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful " You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. | |||
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"I think this thread could have been more inclusive, instead of playing to the gallery. These things happen to all people in all aspects of life, everyone’s got there own battles that they are dealing with. Couldn't agree more, seems like it's a bit of brown nosing by the OP towards the ladies on the site! " My thoughts exactly | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. " Are you being offended on behalf of others? Or do you genuinely need me to include you in this thread? Or is this some anti-feminist agenda going on? God forbid women ever get the li_elight to themselves The op doesn't negate the existence of men struggling with the same. It merely chooses to focus on women for a few reasons, one personal to me and the other triggered by some twat coming on the forums earlier and trying to intimidate one of the women on here | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned." Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird" It's called empathy. | |||
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"And the guys who bounced back? And the guys that didn't? The men who have suffered beings and abuse and humiliation and mental torture because the women they were too frightened (Yes FRIGHTENED) to leave because of the "feminist attitude" YEAH I SAID IT AND SO WHAT. Cos there's plenty out there who believe men are worthless and should be publicly humiliated to show the other women out there how pathetic men are. What of the men who NEVER bounce back?? This is very risky 2 way Street your travelling down OP " That's another thread in itself. | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. " Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Are you being offended on behalf of others? Or do you genuinely need me to include you in this thread? Or is this some anti-feminist agenda going on? God forbid women ever get the li_elight to themselves The op doesn't negate the existence of men struggling with the same. It merely chooses to focus on women for a few reasons, one personal to me and the other triggered by some twat coming on the forums earlier and trying to intimidate one of the women on here" “The “op doesn’t negate’ from the op”? Wow second position, I’m out of here, totally incongruent. This really could have been a stunning inclusive thread. So it’s a kiss from me. | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. " Deliberately being obtuse? No, I’m genuinely asking why someone who seems to have an issue with this thread being aimed at just women, wouldn’t post a similar thread aimed at all abuse victims if they have an issue with this one. | |||
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"And the guys who bounced back? And the guys that didn't? The men who have suffered beings and abuse and humiliation and mental torture because the women they were too frightened (Yes FRIGHTENED) to leave because of the "feminist attitude" YEAH I SAID IT AND SO WHAT. Cos there's plenty out there who believe men are worthless and should be publicly humiliated to show the other women out there how pathetic men are. What of the men who NEVER bounce back?? This is very risky 2 way Street your travelling down OP That's another thread in itself." Isn’t it just. | |||
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"And the guys who bounced back? And the guys that didn't? The men who have suffered beings and abuse and humiliation and mental torture because the women they were too frightened (Yes FRIGHTENED) to leave because of the "feminist attitude" YEAH I SAID IT AND SO WHAT. Cos there's plenty out there who believe men are worthless and should be publicly humiliated to show the other women out there how pathetic men are. What of the men who NEVER bounce back?? This is very risky 2 way Street your travelling down OP That's another thread in itself." Yeah,I guess so. I suppose I'm just a believer of equality and the older I get the more I just want to see everyone treat right instead of someone having to have "the upper hand" all the time. | |||
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"And the guys who bounced back? And the guys that didn't? The men who have suffered beings and abuse and humiliation and mental torture because the women they were too frightened (Yes FRIGHTENED) to leave because of the "feminist attitude" YEAH I SAID IT AND SO WHAT. Cos there's plenty out there who believe men are worthless and should be publicly humiliated to show the other women out there how pathetic men are. What of the men who NEVER bounce back?? This is very risky 2 way Street your travelling down OP That's another thread in itself. Yeah,I guess so. I suppose I'm just a believer of equality and the older I get the more I just want to see everyone treat right instead of someone having to have "the upper hand" all the time. " It's a variation on a theme and should have its own thread. | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Are you being offended on behalf of others? Or do you genuinely need me to include you in this thread? Or is this some anti-feminist agenda going on? God forbid women ever get the li_elight to themselves The op doesn't negate the existence of men struggling with the same. It merely chooses to focus on women for a few reasons, one personal to me and the other triggered by some twat coming on the forums earlier and trying to intimidate one of the women on here “The “op doesn’t negate’ from the op”? Wow second position, I’m out of here, totally incongruent. This really could have been a stunning inclusive thread. So it’s a kiss from me." Op in this context means "opening post" rather than "opening poster". Do you want your dummy back? | |||
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"And the guys who bounced back? And the guys that didn't? The men who have suffered beings and abuse and humiliation and mental torture because the women they were too frightened (Yes FRIGHTENED) to leave because of the "feminist attitude" YEAH I SAID IT AND SO WHAT. Cos there's plenty out there who believe men are worthless and should be publicly humiliated to show the other women out there how pathetic men are. What of the men who NEVER bounce back?? This is very risky 2 way Street your travelling down OP That's another thread in itself. Yeah,I guess so. I suppose I'm just a believer of equality and the older I get the more I just want to see everyone treat right instead of someone having to have "the upper hand" all the time. It's a variation on a theme and should have its own thread." Sorry to ask, who says? | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird It's called empathy." Which is great if it is a thread started by a fellow victim, be that a man or a woman | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird It's called empathy. Which is great if it is a thread started by a fellow victim, be that a man or a woman " | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. Deliberately being obtuse? No, I’m genuinely asking why someone who seems to have an issue with this thread being aimed at just women, wouldn’t post a similar thread aimed at all abuse victims if they have an issue with this one. " Because that’s jumping on the bandwagon and I can’t be arsed and you’re still not getting it. I’ll leave it there, cause I’ve made my point. No doubt you’ll reply to get the last word in. | |||
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"He’s not trying to get into guys knickers there for won’t be kissing their ass- simples " Who told you so? | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. Deliberately being obtuse? No, I’m genuinely asking why someone who seems to have an issue with this thread being aimed at just women, wouldn’t post a similar thread aimed at all abuse victims if they have an issue with this one. I’ll leave it there, cause I’ve made my point. No doubt you’ll reply to get the last word in. " Since you said it, I thought I would, just to be annoyingly predictable. :D For someone who starts a ton of threads I find it surprising you wouldn’t start another one for this, to make it inclusive as you want it. | |||
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"He’s not trying to get into guys knickers there for won’t be kissing their ass- simples Who told you so?" Exactly. Had this been a post by a woman talking about Male abuse victims would people be saying she’s kissing their arses to get into their boxers? Somehow I don’t think so. Are men not allowed to be empathetic to another gender without a hidden agenda or people thinking they’re doing it to brown nose? | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. Deliberately being obtuse? No, I’m genuinely asking why someone who seems to have an issue with this thread being aimed at just women, wouldn’t post a similar thread aimed at all abuse victims if they have an issue with this one. I’ll leave it there, cause I’ve made my point. No doubt you’ll reply to get the last word in. Since you said it, I thought I would, just to be annoyingly predictable. :D For someone who starts a ton of threads I find it surprising you wouldn’t start another one for this, to make it inclusive as you want it. " What’s the reason he should? | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. Deliberately being obtuse? No, I’m genuinely asking why someone who seems to have an issue with this thread being aimed at just women, wouldn’t post a similar thread aimed at all abuse victims if they have an issue with this one. I’ll leave it there, cause I’ve made my point. No doubt you’ll reply to get the last word in. Since you said it, I thought I would, just to be annoyingly predictable. :D For someone who starts a ton of threads I find it surprising you wouldn’t start another one for this, to make it inclusive as you want it. What’s the reason he should?" He can do as he pleases. I’m just surprised that someone wouldn’t want to start another thread to make a post like this more inclusive if they have an issue with it. If people want things to be more inclusive surely they have to do something to make that happen. | |||
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"He’s not trying to get into guys knickers there for won’t be kissing their ass- simples Who told you so? Exactly. Had this been a post by a woman talking about Male abuse victims would people be saying she’s kissing their arses to get into their boxers? Somehow I don’t think so. Are men not allowed to be empathetic to another gender without a hidden agenda or people thinking they’re doing it to brown nose? " This ^. The OP is a genuinely lovely guy. I truly believe his post is based on what he's seen on the forums today. Not everyone has a hidden agenda when they post about women. | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Or if you’re that bothered by him not including men you could post a thread of your own to match this one... I’m doubtful You underestimate my ability to start threads, I’ve started two today already. But again, as feminists keep reminding us about equality I thought in the interest of balance, I merely said this thread should be more inclusive of anyone that has had to deal with any of the issues the OP has mentioned. Actually I’m not underestimating. I’m assuming that if you care about this thread being inclusive as much as your posts come across, why haven’t you posted a thread for ALL abuse victims? Surely if it meant that much you’d post a thread to include all? Just wondering. Are you being deliberately obtuse, I’m not going to start another thread about this topic, just find selective equality a little annoying. Deliberately being obtuse? No, I’m genuinely asking why someone who seems to have an issue with this thread being aimed at just women, wouldn’t post a similar thread aimed at all abuse victims if they have an issue with this one. I’ll leave it there, cause I’ve made my point. No doubt you’ll reply to get the last word in. Since you said it, I thought I would, just to be annoyingly predictable. :D For someone who starts a ton of threads I find it surprising you wouldn’t start another one for this, to make it inclusive as you want it. What’s the reason he should?" I have literally told her the reason I wont start another thread on the topic and she says shes not being obtuse ! | |||
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"Jeez! Is there something in the water tonight? What the fuck has got everyone's arses up? " Lol, it's a bit like not having sports day cos there's winners and losers..... sometimes, just sometimes, posts should just be taken at face value! | |||
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"Jeez! Is there something in the water tonight? What the fuck has got everyone's arses up? " Nothing, just a little honestly and openness which is great from the superficial shit there is normally in the forums | |||
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"He’s not trying to get into guys knickers there for won’t be kissing their ass- simples Who told you so? Exactly. Had this been a post by a woman talking about Male abuse victims would people be saying she’s kissing their arses to get into their boxers? Somehow I don’t think so. Are men not allowed to be empathetic to another gender without a hidden agenda or people thinking they’re doing it to brown nose? This ^. The OP is a genuinely lovely guy. I truly believe his post is based on what he's seen on the forums today. Not everyone has a hidden agenda when they post about women. " Agreed. You can’t talk of your experience on here without someone jumping in with “Not all men” or “Not all women”. I genuinely believe people do it just to annoy rather than because they care. I can’t see why there would be any hidden agenda behind this post. | |||
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"A woman on the forum was subject to intimidation today. It reminded me of a woman I dated over summer who was recovering after a serious trauma. And reminded me that us guys can sometimes forget that some of these beautiful women who we hanker after have overcome terrible experiences with guys and bounced back to be the sexy upbeat things they are, willing to give guys a second chance. And that this is both inspiring and something we should perhaps bear in mind and give some leeway for when looking to appeal to them. That was the purpose of the op in its entirety. No more thought went into it than that. I just thought it. Wrote it. And posted it. " Sorry fella I find you incongruent. If we meet in a club, let’s chat and I’ll buy you a beer. | |||
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"He’s not trying to get into guys knickers there for won’t be kissing their ass- simples Who told you so? Exactly. Had this been a post by a woman talking about Male abuse victims would people be saying she’s kissing their arses to get into their boxers? Somehow I don’t think so. Are men not allowed to be empathetic to another gender without a hidden agenda or people thinking they’re doing it to brown nose? This ^. The OP is a genuinely lovely guy. I truly believe his post is based on what he's seen on the forums today. Not everyone has a hidden agenda when they post about women. " | |||
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"Sorry fella I find you incongruent. If we meet in a club, let’s chat and I’ll buy you a beer." No worries mate. Confusing place these forums. I'm only just starting to figure out half the stuff is a total piss take. I can see how a straight forward post can be read completely weirdly on here. Thanks for the offer of beer. You hit my weak spot. How did you know? Haha | |||
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"Sorry fella I find you incongruent. If we meet in a club, let’s chat and I’ll buy you a beer. No worries mate. Confusing place these forums. I'm only just starting to figure out half the stuff is a total piss take. I can see how a straight forward post can be read completely weirdly on here. Thanks for the offer of beer. You hit my weak spot. How did you know? Haha " By incongruent two person language and by cognitive projection. Have fun. | |||
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"Still struggling, zero trust. " I know, I over analyse. | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird It's called empathy. Which is great if it is a thread started by a fellow victim, be that a man or a woman " Like a club? Do you never feel empathy towards someone for something you have not experienced? | |||
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"A woman on the forum was subject to intimidation today. It reminded me of a woman I dated over summer who was recovering after a serious trauma. And reminded me that us guys can sometimes forget that some of these beautiful women who we hanker after have overcome terrible experiences with guys and bounced back to be the sexy upbeat things they are, willing to give guys a second chance. And that this is both inspiring and something we should perhaps bear in mind and give some leeway for when looking to appeal to them. That was the purpose of the op in its entirety. No more thought went into it than that. I just thought it. Wrote it. And posted it. " If men couldn't empathise with us they wouldn't understand why we step back from relationships or are wary of building new ones. | |||
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"He’s not trying to get into guys knickers there for won’t be kissing their ass- simples Who told you so? Exactly. Had this been a post by a woman talking about Male abuse victims would people be saying she’s kissing their arses to get into their boxers? Somehow I don’t think so. Are men not allowed to be empathetic to another gender without a hidden agenda or people thinking they’re doing it to brown nose? This ^. The OP is a genuinely lovely guy. I truly believe his post is based on what he's seen on the forums today. Not everyone has a hidden agenda when they post about women. " Agree | |||
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"What about the ones that can't bounce back? I was just thinking the same.. But by the same token i am one of those who has left all that behind... I dont get all these posts from people who have no clue about it all wanting to congratulate us!! Weird It's called empathy. Which is great if it is a thread started by a fellow victim, be that a man or a woman Like a club? Do you never feel empathy towards someone for something you have not experienced? " Smiles | |||
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"Sorry fella I find you incongruent. If we meet in a club, let’s chat and I’ll buy you a beer. No worries mate. Confusing place these forums. I'm only just starting to figure out half the stuff is a total piss take. I can see how a straight forward post can be read completely weirdly on here. Thanks for the offer of beer. You hit my weak spot. How did you know? Haha " You know what, I’ve been out of the mix for a while and I have no idea who is taking the piss when they post stuff and who isn’t. And don’t get me started on who has fallen out with who! I also think it’s easy to forget that some of us don’t necessarily know who the OP is and what’s gone on earlier during the day. Being honest here, on my initial read through the OP I didn’t think it was genuine. | |||
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"Its a bit of a shame that every topic posted has to become a 'what about us' defensive exercise. Nothing wrong with just listening in and taking in the points expressed . That goes for male or female oriented topics. " That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this as well | |||
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"Male or female everyone has difficult times in their lives. These threads often seem to become a competition about who has suffered the most or an exercise in gender bashing in both directions. Yet we are all human all fragile in different ways and the pain and hurt others may feel....it's theirs. Part of who they are. It colours their lives and maybe more understanding and empathy towards those who hurt is a good thing if it helps us relate to each other in a better way. Why do some need to turn these types of threads into another battleground. How does that support anyone?" Well said. | |||
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"Its a bit of a shame that every topic posted has to become a 'what about us' defensive exercise. Nothing wrong with just listening in and taking in the points expressed . That goes for male or female oriented topics. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this as well " Smiles too. In a good way? | |||
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"I'm looking for ladies that want to cum over an awful guy, am I in the wrong place?" Your too nice to be an awful guy! | |||
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"Male or female everyone has difficult times in their lives. These threads often seem to become a competition about who has suffered the most or an exercise in gender bashing in both directions. Yet we are all human all fragile in different ways and the pain and hurt others may feel....it's theirs. Part of who they are. It colours their lives and maybe more understanding and empathy towards those who hurt is a good thing if it helps us relate to each other in a better way. Why do some need to turn these types of threads into another battleground. How does that support anyone?" Beautifully worded, as always | |||
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"Male or female everyone has difficult times in their lives. These threads often seem to become a competition about who has suffered the most or an exercise in gender bashing in both directions. Yet we are all human all fragile in different ways and the pain and hurt others may feel....it's theirs. Part of who they are. It colours their lives and maybe more understanding and empathy towards those who hurt is a good thing if it helps us relate to each other in a better way. Why do some need to turn these types of threads into another battleground. How does that support anyone?" | |||
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"This is a great post. Some women can’t come back from the things they’ve been through, but many can & they become stronger. I’m sure this post will attract some “What about men” comments, for those ready to say that, you could always start your own thread for the men before bashing this one. Just a thought. Abuse/Domestic Violence comes in so many different ways so many people don’t even realise they’re being abused sometimes. Or you could have one inclusive thread. Just a thought. Are you being offended on behalf of others? Or do you genuinely need me to include you in this thread? Or is this some anti-feminist agenda going on? God forbid women ever get the li_elight to themselves The op doesn't negate the existence of men struggling with the same. It merely chooses to focus on women for a few reasons, one personal to me and the other triggered by some twat coming on the forums earlier and trying to intimidate one of the women on here" Apologies OP, I think I read it wrong and I’m in agreement with you. Think you’re a decent bloke and my comments were a bit twatish. | |||
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"Apologies OP, I think I read it wrong and I’m in agreement with you. Think you’re a decent bloke and my comments were a bit twatish. " Cheers dude Fist pump! Now get back to your yurt | |||
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"Its only when you let it go you become free, that day when it doesn't matter anymore. Amen the futures bright " The futures orange.... sorry, I couldn't help it | |||
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"Its only when you let it go you become free, that day when it doesn't matter anymore. Amen the futures bright The futures orange.... sorry, I couldn't help it " I very nearly said that after working for them for about 17 years | |||
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"Abusive father, controlling and narcissistic partners. People wonder why I'm a little crazy Anywhen. When you find the right man to trust with everything you have, that is when you know it can be overcome. Deep rooted feelings, walls and such never go but they fade and crumble " I'm hoping one day my walls may give a little more than they are | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration " The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. " Yours looks like a woman’s front bum. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. Yours looks like a woman’s front bum." Yours looks like you are putting the monster back in its cage. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. Yours looks like a woman’s front bum. Yours looks like you are putting the monster back in its cage. " I got complaints. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. Yours looks like a woman’s front bum. Yours looks like you are putting the monster back in its cage. I got complaints. " For what? | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. Yours looks like a woman’s front bum. Yours looks like you are putting the monster back in its cage. I got complaints. For what? " Having my cock out on my avatar all the time, I was told less is more. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. Yours looks like a woman’s front bum. Yours looks like you are putting the monster back in its cage. I got complaints. For what? Having my cock out on my avatar all the time, I was told less is more. " It's a cracking photo, to be fair. Very sexy | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. " Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. " I want to give you the benefit of the doubt here but... are you saying women who are subject to abuse have made "bad life choices"? | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt here but... are you saying women who are subject to abuse have made "bad life choices"? " I was wondering that too | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . " I'd say wanting to fuck other people while in a committed relationship already precludes you from being "normal" and I'm sure there are plenty of people who wouldn't consider it a " great life choice" The implication that anyone who has been abused has made bad life choices and is somehow to blame for it, also precludes you from being a normal human or making great life choices. | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . " The forums are heavily populated with the walking wounded... | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . I'd say wanting to fuck other people while in a committed relationship already precludes you from being "normal" and I'm sure there are plenty of people who wouldn't consider it a " great life choice" The implication that anyone who has been abused has made bad life choices and is somehow to blame for it, also precludes you from being a normal human or making great life choices. " | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . The forums are heavily populated with the walking wounded..." The world is heavily populated with the walking wounded | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . The forums are heavily populated with the walking wounded... The world is heavily populated with the walking wounded " I don't think the fab forums are a representative cross section of society at all. Not saying I want it to be, but just pointing that out. | |||
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"Door swings both ways op " | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . The forums are heavily populated with the walking wounded... The world is heavily populated with the walking wounded I don't think the fab forums are a representative cross section of society at all. Not saying I want it to be, but just pointing that out. " I think in regards to people who've been abused/assaulted it would work as a cross section of society. There are a high number of people who have been/are in abusive relationships. That's not exclusive to fab. | |||
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"Sounds like a topic for loose women! " I’ve never watched that. Is it a good show? | |||
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"Sounds like a topic for loose women! I’ve never watched that. Is it a good show?" no it's full of women of a certain age putting the world to rights. Hrt and big knickers all over the place, not for the faint hearted. | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . The forums are heavily populated with the walking wounded... The world is heavily populated with the walking wounded I don't think the fab forums are a representative cross section of society at all. Not saying I want it to be, but just pointing that out. I think in regards to people who've been abused/assaulted it would work as a cross section of society. There are a high number of people who have been/are in abusive relationships. That's not exclusive to fab. " There's a document online by the police that clearly demonstrates correlations proving it isn't a representative cross section of society, key word being representative. But i don't really want to get into it as i was only making broad statements about the fab forums and the correlations are irrelevant to this discussion. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration " Good Lord your nose is Brown and you're not even black. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . " We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . " In life i doubt you'd come across many women who don't have some kind of abuse in their background. Maybe they're just more willing to share when meeting through fab as they're generally open people? Funny... I'd have thought being a "normal couple who've made great life choices" you'd consider yourselves representative of society? I didn't realise being open about sex made us all outcasts despite there being people from all walks of life here | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. " Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . The forums are heavily populated with the walking wounded... The world is heavily populated with the walking wounded I don't think the fab forums are a representative cross section of society at all. Not saying I want it to be, but just pointing that out. I think in regards to people who've been abused/assaulted it would work as a cross section of society. There are a high number of people who have been/are in abusive relationships. That's not exclusive to fab. There's a document online by the police that clearly demonstrates correlations proving it isn't a representative cross section of society, key word being representative. But i don't really want to get into it as i was only making broad statements about the fab forums and the correlations are irrelevant to this discussion. " If they're irrelevant why bring them up? And correlations alone aren't proof of anything. You can put a number of correlations together that are not relevant to each other. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . In life i doubt you'd come across many women who don't have some kind of abuse in their background. Maybe they're just more willing to share when meeting through fab as they're generally open people? Funny... I'd have thought being a "normal couple who've made great life choices" you'd consider yourselves representative of society? I didn't realise being open about sex made us all outcasts despite there being people from all walks of life here " i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not" Please don't twist my words. No i don't imagine the reason for crazy couples being crazy has anything to do with abuse. We don't meet single women and to clarify, we're not interested in meeting abusive couples. | |||
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"The bottom half of your face looks absolutely nothing like one that would connect to the top half. " Funnily enough that tends to be the usual feedback I get from dates | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not Please don't twist my words. No i don't imagine the reason for crazy couples being crazy has anything to do with abuse. We don't meet single women and to clarify, we're not interested in meeting abusive couples. " Hardly twisting your words. You said you believe you attract "normal" couples and not "the crazies" meaning what? The comment you replied to was talking about women with abuse in their past. I suggest you look at the context of you post and see why the implication has been made. | |||
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"i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. " There are abusers as well as those who've suffered abuse on here. Maybe by talking about it, those who are in that situation but don't realise it will recognise some of the traits/signs that they're being abused. Maybe it will give them the confidence to escape their situation. Maybe they'll find others who they can lean on for support. I think you're incredibly wrong with that comment. | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration " OP, I'd just like to say that I appricate this post for what it is. And I'm sorry that it was hijacked by the "whataboutmen" brigade and those judging women who have been abused as not "normal". | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . In life i doubt you'd come across many women who don't have some kind of abuse in their background. Maybe they're just more willing to share when meeting through fab as they're generally open people? Funny... I'd have thought being a "normal couple who've made great life choices" you'd consider yourselves representative of society? I didn't realise being open about sex made us all outcasts despite there being people from all walks of life here " Where did I suggest you are all outcasts ? Perhaps you are right , the openness of being on here may give rise to being honest , but the suggestion that most women have had some kind of abuse is conjecture at its best . I’m not suggesting for one moment that we are any better than anyone else on here . You are quite right in saying there are people from all walks of life on here . The subject on their thread is women , and how thankful the op is that the ones on here from abusive backgrounds are willing to give him and other men a second chance . I suggested that there may be a disproportionate amount of single women from abusive backgrounds on fab , and why they may be here . That’s all , I certainly don’t see anyone as outcasts . | |||
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"i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. There are abusers as well as those who've suffered abuse on here. Maybe by talking about it, those who are in that situation but don't realise it will recognise some of the traits/signs that they're being abused. Maybe it will give them the confidence to escape their situation. Maybe they'll find others who they can lean on for support. I think you're incredibly wrong with that comment. " | |||
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"It's easy to imagine all the lovely women who are so upbeat and flirtatious and beautiful on here are unblemished by life. Yet in some cases they are on here giving guys a chance despite having had truly terrible experiences in the past. Whether it be abusive stalkers or worse. I just wanted to tip my hat to them and say thank you for giving us a second chance and to voice my admiration for their ability to bounce back, stay sexy and upbeat and hopeful. You're an inspiration OP, I'd just like to say that I appricate this post for what it is. And I'm sorry that it was hijacked by the "whataboutmen" brigade and those judging women who have been abused as not "normal". " | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not Please don't twist my words. No i don't imagine the reason for crazy couples being crazy has anything to do with abuse. We don't meet single women and to clarify, we're not interested in meeting abusive couples. Hardly twisting your words. You said you believe you attract "normal" couples and not "the crazies" meaning what? The comment you replied to was talking about women with abuse in their past. I suggest you look at the context of you post and see why the implication has been made. " I suggest you save your projection and stop telling other people the hidden meaning to their own words is. We're talking about who is and isn't a representative cross section of society. The couples aren't a broad cross section either, swinging clubs are full of fucking accountants and nurses who all listen to Adele. | |||
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"i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. There are abusers as well as those who've suffered abuse on here. Maybe by talking about it, those who are in that situation but don't realise it will recognise some of the traits/signs that they're being abused. Maybe it will give them the confidence to escape their situation. Maybe they'll find others who they can lean on for support. I think you're incredibly wrong with that comment. " I beg to differ princess! I don't condone bullying or abuse of any nature but their are sites for that, and this isn't really the site where you're going to get a high percentage willing to admit or talk about it. | |||
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"This thread has been infuriating. I can't believe so many people haven't been able to read it for what it is "hey guys I bet you haven't spared a thought for the fact that some of the sexy women on here have had some pretty awful experiences with guys and yet still come on here being sexy and giving us guys another chance... and isn't that great of them" and instead have to fish for some other agenda in it To be honest I've found the response borderline misogynistic at times. And at others just bitchy. Meanwhile a line of women have added their stories to this thread, thereby proving the point it was making. I didn't make this thread to stand in the li_elight and make myself look good. It was an opportunity to all you guys to express your thanks too. But have we got to the end of it without a single other male voice echoing my sentiment? Shame on you guys. This place is such a school yard sometimes " I appreciate your thread and you OP. Your thread brought a smile to my face | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not Please don't twist my words. No i don't imagine the reason for crazy couples being crazy has anything to do with abuse. We don't meet single women and to clarify, we're not interested in meeting abusive couples. Hardly twisting your words. You said you believe you attract "normal" couples and not "the crazies" meaning what? The comment you replied to was talking about women with abuse in their past. I suggest you look at the context of you post and see why the implication has been made. I suggest you save your projection and stop telling other people the hidden meaning to their own words is. We're talking about who is and isn't a representative cross section of society. The couples aren't a broad cross section either, swinging clubs are full of fucking accountants and nurses who all listen to Adele. " I think you need to look at the words you say and the comments you reply too. Replying to a comment about abused women saying "we don't meet single women but the couple's we meet are normal. The "crazies" must go somewhere else" And you don't think that says you don't consider those abused to be "normal"? And nurses who listen to Adele aren't a representation of society? I'm sure there are nonswinging nurses who happily listen to Adele. It seems your idea of " normal society" is your own idea of what your normal is. Not what normal society actually is. | |||
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"i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. There are abusers as well as those who've suffered abuse on here. Maybe by talking about it, those who are in that situation but don't realise it will recognise some of the traits/signs that they're being abused. Maybe it will give them the confidence to escape their situation. Maybe they'll find others who they can lean on for support. I think you're incredibly wrong with that comment. I beg to differ princess! I don't condone bullying or abuse of any nature but their are sites for that, and this isn't really the site where you're going to get a high percentage willing to admit or talk about it. " Have you not read the thread? There are plenty of women who have "admitted" it. Not that they've done anything wrong to admit. | |||
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"This thread has been infuriating. I can't believe so many people haven't been able to read it for what it is "hey guys I bet you haven't spared a thought for the fact that some of the sexy women on here have had some pretty awful experiences with guys and yet still come on here being sexy and giving us guys another chance... and isn't that great of them" and instead have to fish for some other agenda in it To be honest I've found the response borderline misogynistic at times. And at others just bitchy. Meanwhile a line of women have added their stories to this thread, thereby proving the point it was making. I didn't make this thread to stand in the li_elight and make myself look good. It was an opportunity to all you guys to express your thanks too. But have we got to the end of it without a single other male voice echoing my sentiment? Shame on you guys. This place is such a school yard sometimes " The men who think you only did this to get in women's pants, think that way because the Only reason they would make a post like this is to get into women's pants. It's not a reflection on you or the post. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . In life i doubt you'd come across many women who don't have some kind of abuse in their background. Maybe they're just more willing to share when meeting through fab as they're generally open people? Funny... I'd have thought being a "normal couple who've made great life choices" you'd consider yourselves representative of society? I didn't realise being open about sex made us all outcasts despite there being people from all walks of life here Where did I suggest you are all outcasts ? Perhaps you are right , the openness of being on here may give rise to being honest , but the suggestion that most women have had some kind of abuse is conjecture at its best . I’m not suggesting for one moment that we are any better than anyone else on here . You are quite right in saying there are people from all walks of life on here . The subject on their thread is women , and how thankful the op is that the ones on here from abusive backgrounds are willing to give him and other men a second chance . I suggested that there may be a disproportionate amount of single women from abusive backgrounds on fab , and why they may be here . That’s all , I certainly don’t see anyone as outcasts . " Your "this is the wrong place for normal people who've made good life choices" comment is a prime example of what I have said. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not Please don't twist my words. No i don't imagine the reason for crazy couples being crazy has anything to do with abuse. We don't meet single women and to clarify, we're not interested in meeting abusive couples. Hardly twisting your words. You said you believe you attract "normal" couples and not "the crazies" meaning what? The comment you replied to was talking about women with abuse in their past. I suggest you look at the context of you post and see why the implication has been made. I suggest you save your projection and stop telling other people the hidden meaning to their own words is. We're talking about who is and isn't a representative cross section of society. The couples aren't a broad cross section either, swinging clubs are full of fucking accountants and nurses who all listen to Adele. I think you need to look at the words you say and the comments you reply too. Replying to a comment about abused women saying "we don't meet single women but the couple's we meet are normal. The "crazies" must go somewhere else" And you don't think that says you don't consider those abused to be "normal"? And nurses who listen to Adele aren't a representation of society? I'm sure there are nonswinging nurses who happily listen to Adele. It seems your idea of " normal society" is your own idea of what your normal is. Not what normal society actually is. " Ok i understand the problem, you don't actually understand the meaning of what a "representative cross section of society" is. Or a correlation for that matter. I'm just leaving it at that. | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . In life i doubt you'd come across many women who don't have some kind of abuse in their background. Maybe they're just more willing to share when meeting through fab as they're generally open people? Funny... I'd have thought being a "normal couple who've made great life choices" you'd consider yourselves representative of society? I didn't realise being open about sex made us all outcasts despite there being people from all walks of life here i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. " I'm having loads of "fun" (I call it sex). | |||
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"Oh God! Why did i come back on this thread? Why do people have to piss all over a truly lovely sentiment " Because, along with all the broken women, the forums are filled with smarty pants people. | |||
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"Oh God! Why did i come back on this thread? Why do people have to piss all over a truly lovely sentiment Because, along with all the broken women, the forums are filled with smarty pants people." I forgot about that | |||
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"Oh God! Why did i come back on this thread? Why do people have to piss all over a truly lovely sentiment Because, along with all the broken women, the forums are filled with smarty pants people. I forgot about that " Laugh at them with me | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. Crazies? As in, those who have suffered abuse? People can be ‘frightfully normal’ and have suffered abuse. People can suffer depression, anxiety etc and have suffered no abuse. I don’t think there’s symptoms or signs that gravitate towards someone who has been abused or not Please don't twist my words. No i don't imagine the reason for crazy couples being crazy has anything to do with abuse. We don't meet single women and to clarify, we're not interested in meeting abusive couples. Hardly twisting your words. You said you believe you attract "normal" couples and not "the crazies" meaning what? The comment you replied to was talking about women with abuse in their past. I suggest you look at the context of you post and see why the implication has been made. I suggest you save your projection and stop telling other people the hidden meaning to their own words is. We're talking about who is and isn't a representative cross section of society. The couples aren't a broad cross section either, swinging clubs are full of fucking accountants and nurses who all listen to Adele. I think you need to look at the words you say and the comments you reply too. Replying to a comment about abused women saying "we don't meet single women but the couple's we meet are normal. The "crazies" must go somewhere else" And you don't think that says you don't consider those abused to be "normal"? And nurses who listen to Adele aren't a representation of society? I'm sure there are nonswinging nurses who happily listen to Adele. It seems your idea of " normal society" is your own idea of what your normal is. Not what normal society actually is. Ok i understand the problem, you don't actually understand the meaning of what a "representative cross section of society" is. Or a correlation for that matter. I'm just leaving it at that. " do you know what correlation means? You can correlate margarine use and divorce rates. Does this mean that the use or not of marge causes divorce? Because that is what correlation means. That things line up with each other. It's not proof of anything. So you don't think a website that has different races, ages, gender identities, sexualities. Has married couples. Single men and women. Cohabiting couples. Couples who are dating but not living together. Mum's, Dads, Grandparents. Widows. Divorced men and women. And a range of jobs from doctor to police officer to self employed to unemployed to retail to computer and tech work, nurses and accountant ... Has a "representative cross section of society"? Would you say Facebook isn't a representative cross section of society? It has the same varied users. The only difference is this is a site geared towards sex. But sure. Keep telling me I have no idea what it all means. I guess I'm just a dumb woman, who knows nothing. | |||
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"Oh God! Why did i come back on this thread? Why do people have to piss all over a truly lovely sentiment Because, along with all the broken women, the forums are filled with smarty pants people. I forgot about that Laugh at them with me " Sound like a great plan | |||
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"Feel guilty that I've had a normal existence and made great life choices. Same here , we’ve come to realise that fab may not be the best place to be if you’re normal and have made great life choices . I'd say wanting to fuck other people while in a committed relationship already precludes you from being "normal" and I'm sure there are plenty of people who wouldn't consider it a " great life choice" The implication that anyone who has been abused has made bad life choices and is somehow to blame for it, also precludes you from being a normal human or making great life choices. " Hahaha, I have to say I agree...all fucked up puppies here! | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. " And do you seriously think you are normal? | |||
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"i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. There are abusers as well as those who've suffered abuse on here. Maybe by talking about it, those who are in that situation but don't realise it will recognise some of the traits/signs that they're being abused. Maybe it will give them the confidence to escape their situation. Maybe they'll find others who they can lean on for support. I think you're incredibly wrong with that comment. I beg to differ princess! I don't condone bullying or abuse of any nature but their are sites for that, and this isn't really the site where you're going to get a high percentage willing to admit or talk about it. " Of course you're right, let's keep this shit in the dark, let's all pretend it doesn't happen. Seriously dude, if this thread builds the confidence of 1 solitary person, or highlights that there's a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone, then it's worth it's weight in gold. If you don't feel this thread has it's place on a site like this, then maybe, just maybe you take your nose out of the thread and start your own fun one. So yes, differ we do. *insert middle finger emoji* | |||
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"i think we've all had our share of shit down the line, but here people should leave it at the door and try and have fun. There are abusers as well as those who've suffered abuse on here. Maybe by talking about it, those who are in that situation but don't realise it will recognise some of the traits/signs that they're being abused. Maybe it will give them the confidence to escape their situation. Maybe they'll find others who they can lean on for support. I think you're incredibly wrong with that comment. I beg to differ princess! I don't condone bullying or abuse of any nature but their are sites for that, and this isn't really the site where you're going to get a high percentage willing to admit or talk about it. Of course you're right, let's keep this shit in the dark, let's all pretend it doesn't happen. Seriously dude, if this thread builds the confidence of 1 solitary person, or highlights that there's a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone, then it's worth it's weight in gold. If you don't feel this thread has it's place on a site like this, then maybe, just maybe you take your nose out of the thread and start your own fun one. So yes, differ we do. *insert middle finger emoji*" | |||
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"The funny thing is some of the most fucked up people of all often believe they are the only ones that aren't fucked up! " Yep. They're the ones I give the widest berth. Everyone else is the problem, didn't you know? | |||
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"The funny thing is some of the most fucked up people of all often believe they are the only ones that aren't fucked up! Yep. They're the ones I give the widest berth. Everyone else is the problem, didn't you know?" Seriously, just marry me | |||
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"To be honest , in our eight years of swinging as a happily married couple , we haven’t come across very many single women who don’t have a back story that has some kind of abusive relationship . Maybe swinging is a good stopgap , or even lifestyle choice that empowers them ? I’m not sure , but from our experience as brokenbrilliance say , fab forums are hardly a reflection of society in general . We don't meet single women but the couples we meet here and clubs are frightfully normal. It could just be that the normal ones gravitate towards us though. Maybe all the crazies head to the dark room. And do you seriously think you are normal? " Nope and not aspiring to be either. Just wouldn't mind meeting people from a few unusual occupations. But there's something about one of us that accountants seem to like... | |||
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"The funny thing is some of the most fucked up people of all often believe they are the only ones that aren't fucked up! Yep. They're the ones I give the widest berth. Everyone else is the problem, didn't you know? Seriously, just marry me " Only if there's a theme, I do love a theme. Lord of the rings is already taken mind you, when Hatter finally commits. | |||
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"The funny thing is some of the most fucked up people of all often believe they are the only ones that aren't fucked up! Yep. They're the ones I give the widest berth. Everyone else is the problem, didn't you know?" “Imagining that you are deep and complex, but others are simple, is one of the primary signs of malignant selfishness.” Stefan Molyneux | |||
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"The funny thing is some of the most fucked up people of all often believe they are the only ones that aren't fucked up! Yep. They're the ones I give the widest berth. Everyone else is the problem, didn't you know? Seriously, just marry me Only if there's a theme, I do love a theme. Lord of the rings is already taken mind you, when Hatter finally commits. " I'll have to think of an epic theme to compete with that | |||
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