FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Gaslighting
Gaslighting
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad  xx"
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad xx
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel."
Sometimes it good to talk and let people know that not all people are the same  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People don't always understand it's happening to them, and people can even do it without realising, so it's a valid subject for discussion I think. The milder forms are just common blame, deflection and projection. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad xx
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its not something i want to share with anyone on here, publicly or not..
I'd much rather put it behind me instead of dragging it up everytime someone wants something salacious to read  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad xx
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel."
Just did the same and couldn't agree more |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People don't always understand it's happening to them, and people can even do it without realising, so it's a valid subject for discussion I think. The milder forms are just common blame, deflection and projection."
You know I've been here a long time and it something that I see on here very often especially when you meet people face to face on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's mental abuse. Been there, over it, but yes, I carry scars. ? .
Do you think it has a bearing on your next relationship?"
Not that alone. The whole caboodle of abuse has though. It's given me zero tolerance for bullshit, so if I find out I've been lied to I'm done, no matter how small the lie.
I also work on the "actions speak louder than words" protocol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been there , only realised what was happening once I was out of the relationship. That, and other narcissistic tendencies have made me wary of getting in a relationship again . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People don't always understand it's happening to them, and people can even do it without realising, so it's a valid subject for discussion I think. The milder forms are just common blame, deflection and projection.You know I've been here a long time and it something that I see on here very often especially when you meet people face to face on here "
Really, what kind of thing do you see? I think it's more common in relationships, but actually you see it as a form of judgement and manipulation on the forums sometimes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad xx
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel. Sometimes it good to talk and let people know that not all people are the same "
This is true it is food to talk over things however I wouldn't want to put a downer on everyone's day.
It happened I do talk about it to people I know well and trust.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not a story I want to repeat fully here, but I divorced him.
Took a long time to put things behind me, be able to let anyone near me, physically & mentally.
So yes it's left a lasting effect on me & how I view people.
But it also created the person I am today.
And that person is happy, built a new life & is doing OK.
I always say I don't do revenge, but in this case, I do.. And my revenge is refusing to let one person define the rest of my life and letting him see me succeed.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh yes! Complete head fuck. I was celibate for over 10 years because I wouldn't let any man near me, because of him. It took a lot of time to realise that not all are going to try and manipulate me like that. The problem is, now I have commitment issues. When someone gets too close, I self sabotage. It really pisses me off, that i do that. #singleforever. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad xx
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel. Sometimes it good to talk and let people know that not all people are the same
This is true it is food to talk over things however I wouldn't want to put a downer on everyone's day.
It happened I do talk about it to people I know well and trust.
"
Do you feel better after talking about it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People don't always understand it's happening to them, and people can even do it without realising, so it's a valid subject for discussion I think. The milder forms are just common blame, deflection and projection.You know I've been here a long time and it something that I see on here very often especially when you meet people face to face on here
Really, what kind of thing do you see? I think it's more common in relationships, but actually you see it as a form of judgement and manipulation on the forums sometimes."
You can see the scars when you read the forums sometimes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"I'd rather not share on a public forum
Yikes that bad xx
Having had to google it to find out what the term meant, I'm really not really surprised that anyone would not want to share their experiences OP. Not a dig, just how I think I would feel. Sometimes it good to talk and let people know that not all people are the same
This is true it is food to talk over things however I wouldn't want to put a downer on everyone's day.
It happened I do talk about it to people I know well and trust.
Do you feel better after talking about it? "
Yes and no it brings up bad memories it wasn't just gaslighting that happened.
Mental and physical scars shall we say. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I understand that it gets its name from the old black & white film if the same name - Gaslight- made in the 1940's in which a husband tries to make his wife believe she's going insane. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation "
I agree completely with this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I understand that it gets its name from the old black & white film if the same name - Gaslight- made in the 1940's in which a husband tries to make his wife believe she's going insane. "
I got to the point I was recording conversations and writing things down as evidence for myself to prove what I thought was said or done was real. Without that back up of my own, who knows. I'd probably be dead by now.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I understand that it gets its name from the old black & white film if the same name - Gaslight- made in the 1940's in which a husband tries to make his wife believe she's going insane.
I got to the point I was recording conversations and writing things down as evidence for myself to prove what I thought was said or done was real. Without that back up of my own, who knows. I'd probably be dead by now.
"
Things that happen in your life can have a big impact on how you you move forward, it sounds like your in a better place now cuddles xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Luckily I have always been strong minded and confident enough to challenge any bullshit or 'truth-shifting', but my narcissist ex simply resorted to passive aggression, and that's like wrestling blancmange. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation "
Exactly, I always thought I was a strong person and wouldn’t accept any abuse. Yet I endured 22 years of it. But I’m fighting back now x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Absolutely! I agree with most and have suffered it for a long long time in the past. So glad it’s over but it does leave heavy scarring. Let’s keep positive all  x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation
Exactly, I always thought I was a strong person and wouldn’t accept any abuse. Yet I endured 22 years of it. But I’m fighting back now x "
People were so shocked as I've always been the kind of person that won't take any shit, yet from him I suffered, and I suffered badly. Has it clouded my capacity to love again? absolutely not. Has it impacted my ability to turn the other cheek as far as being deemed as treated unfairly... Fuck yes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation
Exactly, I always thought I was a strong person and wouldn’t accept any abuse. Yet I endured 22 years of it. But I’m fighting back now x
People were so shocked as I've always been the kind of person that won't take any shit, yet from him I suffered, and I suffered badly. Has it clouded my capacity to love again? absolutely not. Has it impacted my ability to turn the other cheek as far as being deemed as treated unfairly... Fuck yes. "
Yes it does change part of you, and makes you less likely to put up with the same again. But I think it can be a positive change x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It was a friend that pointed out this was happening to me. I just thought he was a moody twat and it was me that was the crazy bitch. I only saw the extent of it in retrospect. Love is blind to allsorts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It was a friend that pointed out this was happening to me. I just thought he was a moody twat and it was me that was the crazy bitch. I only saw the extent of it in retrospect. Love is blind to allsorts. "
Its when you Google "am I in an abusive relationship?" and the results turn up with more yes answers on the "is this happening?" questions than no answers that you twig you ain't just being slightly abused, you're being destroyed behind closed doors (and sometimes in public too)
It's not fun being a pawn in a sickos game. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It was a friend that pointed out this was happening to me. I just thought he was a moody twat and it was me that was the crazy bitch. I only saw the extent of it in retrospect. Love is blind to allsorts.
Its when you Google "am I in an abusive relationship?" and the results turn up with more yes answers on the "is this happening?" questions than no answers that you twig you ain't just being slightly abused, you're being destroyed behind closed doors (and sometimes in public too)
It's not fun being a pawn in a sickos game."
Ah I got a lot of love for you pp. You’re on the other side and you fight.
My situation wasn’t as extreme as some have hinted but that feeling of ‘am I losing my marbles?’ isn’t fun at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It was a friend that pointed out this was happening to me. I just thought he was a moody twat and it was me that was the crazy bitch. I only saw the extent of it in retrospect. Love is blind to allsorts.
Its when you Google "am I in an abusive relationship?" and the results turn up with more yes answers on the "is this happening?" questions than no answers that you twig you ain't just being slightly abused, you're being destroyed behind closed doors (and sometimes in public too)
It's not fun being a pawn in a sickos game.
Ah I got a lot of love for you pp. You’re on the other side and you fight.
My situation wasn’t as extreme as some have hinted but that feeling of ‘am I losing my marbles?’ isn’t fun at all. "
It really is gut-wrenching.
I never thought I'd be almost glad to hear the words "he admitted he wanted to push you to the point you either topped yourself or kicked him out so he could play the victim"
Don't get me wrong those words were hard to hear, as I didn't think there were people in the world that evil, I'd have preferred him to just finish me himself ya know, but clearly he didn't have the balls. Strangely, even though those words made me sick, they were a kind of relief.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation
"
Very true, it’s not a story I like to share to be honest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation
Exactly, I always thought I was a strong person and wouldn’t accept any abuse. Yet I endured 22 years of it. But I’m fighting back now x
People were so shocked as I've always been the kind of person that won't take any shit, yet from him I suffered, and I suffered badly. Has it clouded my capacity to love again? absolutely not. Has it impacted my ability to turn the other cheek as far as being deemed as treated unfairly... Fuck yes.
Yes it does change part of you, and makes you less likely to put up with the same again. But I think it can be a positive change x "
Yes it can, I have some narcs in the family too and it's damn difficult to learn to say 'No, you can't talk to me like that' or 'No, that is simply not true' in a calm, clean way when there's so much water under the bridge from the past.
A lot of empaths know how to say 'A clean Yes', a yes with no strings or backstory or agenda, but a lot more of us need to know how to say a clean 'No.' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation
Exactly, I always thought I was a strong person and wouldn’t accept any abuse. Yet I endured 22 years of it. But I’m fighting back now x
People were so shocked as I've always been the kind of person that won't take any shit, yet from him I suffered, and I suffered badly. Has it clouded my capacity to love again? absolutely not. Has it impacted my ability to turn the other cheek as far as being deemed as treated unfairly... Fuck yes.
Yes it does change part of you, and makes you less likely to put up with the same again. But I think it can be a positive change x
Yes it can, I have some narcs in the family too and it's damn difficult to learn to say 'No, you can't talk to me like that' or 'No, that is simply not true' in a calm, clean way when there's so much water under the bridge from the past.
A lot of empaths know how to say 'A clean Yes', a yes with no strings or backstory or agenda, but a lot more of us need to know how to say a clean 'No.'"
That’s very true, I revert back to being meek with my mom when she starts. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do think that people who it hasn't happened to are often somewhat incredulous as to how it wasn't detected whilst in the relationship.. only people who have been through it are understanding of the situation
Exactly, I always thought I was a strong person and wouldn’t accept any abuse. Yet I endured 22 years of it. But I’m fighting back now x
People were so shocked as I've always been the kind of person that won't take any shit, yet from him I suffered, and I suffered badly. Has it clouded my capacity to love again? absolutely not. Has it impacted my ability to turn the other cheek as far as being deemed as treated unfairly... Fuck yes.
Yes it does change part of you, and makes you less likely to put up with the same again. But I think it can be a positive change x
Yes it can, I have some narcs in the family too and it's damn difficult to learn to say 'No, you can't talk to me like that' or 'No, that is simply not true' in a calm, clean way when there's so much water under the bridge from the past.
A lot of empaths know how to say 'A clean Yes', a yes with no strings or backstory or agenda, but a lot more of us need to know how to say a clean 'No.'
That’s very true, I revert back to being meek with my mom when she starts. X "
Yup, it's hard to overcome childhood patterns you often don't even recognise.
I always recommend this book when this subject arises - for anyone that any of this chimes true for or anyone who does not understand:
Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity Paperback –
by Marie-France Hirigoyen |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My last girlfriend gaslighted me, but I only just realised lately, led to a lot of insecurities, self loathing and a distrust of people, and I now struggle even with the thought of a relationship.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario "
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself."
in what way though, this person convinced you of what? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself.in what way though, this person convinced you of what? "
Nothing. I knew I was right, that things were happening, weren't happening, was said or wasn't said. They denied it.
Example.
Talking about whatever.
The conversation gets referred to in future. They swear blind they never said something (name calling, that they went to the shop... anything or everything no matter how small or large)
They try to tell you you're crazy. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There's no way in the world they'd have said that as it's a complete lie.
You've had this for years. You know it's them. But... to prove it to yourself, you've started recording these conversations on your phone, because you've learned to tell when it's gonna happen, even if it's just by a look in their eye. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself.in what way though, this person convinced you of what?
Nothing. I knew I was right, that things were happening, weren't happening, was said or wasn't said. They denied it.
Example.
Talking about whatever.
The conversation gets referred to in future. They swear blind they never said something (name calling, that they went to the shop... anything or everything no matter how small or large)
They try to tell you you're crazy. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There's no way in the world they'd have said that as it's a complete lie.
You've had this for years. You know it's them. But... to prove it to yourself, you've started recording these conversations on your phone, because you've learned to tell when it's gonna happen, even if it's just by a look in their eye. "
that's manipulation surely controlling as well but by sounds of things in a very devious manner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself.in what way though, this person convinced you of what?
Nothing. I knew I was right, that things were happening, weren't happening, was said or wasn't said. They denied it.
Example.
Talking about whatever.
The conversation gets referred to in future. They swear blind they never said something (name calling, that they went to the shop... anything or everything no matter how small or large)
They try to tell you you're crazy. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There's no way in the world they'd have said that as it's a complete lie.
You've had this for years. You know it's them. But... to prove it to yourself, you've started recording these conversations on your phone, because you've learned to tell when it's gonna happen, even if it's just by a look in their eye. that's manipulation surely controlling as well but by sounds of things in a very devious manner "
Yes, it often takes years.
It's just one of the many signs and ways of abuse |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself.in what way though, this person convinced you of what?
Nothing. I knew I was right, that things were happening, weren't happening, was said or wasn't said. They denied it.
Example.
Talking about whatever.
The conversation gets referred to in future. They swear blind they never said something (name calling, that they went to the shop... anything or everything no matter how small or large)
They try to tell you you're crazy. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There's no way in the world they'd have said that as it's a complete lie.
You've had this for years. You know it's them. But... to prove it to yourself, you've started recording these conversations on your phone, because you've learned to tell when it's gonna happen, even if it's just by a look in their eye. that's manipulation surely controlling as well but by sounds of things in a very devious manner
Yes, it often takes years.
It's just one of the many signs and ways of abuse"
hopefully you're not with him anymore? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself.in what way though, this person convinced you of what?
Nothing. I knew I was right, that things were happening, weren't happening, was said or wasn't said. They denied it.
Example.
Talking about whatever.
The conversation gets referred to in future. They swear blind they never said something (name calling, that they went to the shop... anything or everything no matter how small or large)
They try to tell you you're crazy. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There's no way in the world they'd have said that as it's a complete lie.
You've had this for years. You know it's them. But... to prove it to yourself, you've started recording these conversations on your phone, because you've learned to tell when it's gonna happen, even if it's just by a look in their eye. that's manipulation surely controlling as well but by sounds of things in a very devious manner
Yes, it often takes years.
It's just one of the many signs and ways of abusehopefully you're not with him anymore? "
No fucking chance. Been 2 and a half years since I kicked him out and realised I'm much stronger than he made me feel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody could make me believe anything other than the reality of what has happened and if this is being asked with a sexual connotation then surely only people who were inebriated or God forbid Dr#gged could be subjected to this scenario
I don't think this was meant in a sexual sense.
I do think that comments like "nobody could make you believe anything other than the reality of what has happened" can be taken badly, especially on such a nervy subject.
I thought the same as you until it happened. It's not about believing the bullshit, it's the fact you even question your own mind, being convinced you're right, yet still having to prove it, even to yourself.in what way though, this person convinced you of what?
Nothing. I knew I was right, that things were happening, weren't happening, was said or wasn't said. They denied it.
Example.
Talking about whatever.
The conversation gets referred to in future. They swear blind they never said something (name calling, that they went to the shop... anything or everything no matter how small or large)
They try to tell you you're crazy. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There's no way in the world they'd have said that as it's a complete lie.
You've had this for years. You know it's them. But... to prove it to yourself, you've started recording these conversations on your phone, because you've learned to tell when it's gonna happen, even if it's just by a look in their eye. that's manipulation surely controlling as well but by sounds of things in a very devious manner
Yes, it often takes years.
It's just one of the many signs and ways of abusehopefully you're not with him anymore?
No fucking chance. Been 2 and a half years since I kicked him out and realised I'm much stronger than he made me feel."
exactly and good for you, never let a person put you down ever |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've experienced it, and don't really want to go into it, but in short, it's the reason I have estranged my family, and I feel that it was the best move I have ever made for peace of mind, and knowing I am a better person than any of them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
