FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Acceptance
Acceptance
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well  Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess it's that porn and the male gaze have elevated girl on girl as sexy in a way that guy on guy has not been, because it appeals less to men and sells less. "
I feel that does play a big part |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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There are fab "bisexual" women - women who do it in order to satisfy the man/men.
(That's an aside really).
I think it's because it's considered sexy on here - in every day life I'd say there were less lesbians than gay men. Actually not just sexy on here but there's the idea it's done for male tittilation/is to be accepted/celebrated which is reinforced with porn, the media etc.
I think the idea of men fancying men *can*, sometimes, be seen as a not particularly masculine one and so it's not a desirable trait.
-Over caffeinated thoughts- |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are fab "bisexual" women - women who do it in order to satisfy the man/men.
(That's an aside really).
I think it's because it's considered sexy on here - in every day life I'd say there were less lesbians than gay men. Actually not just sexy on here but there's the idea it's done for male tittilation/is to be accepted/celebrated which is reinforced with porn, the media etc.
I think the idea of men fancying men *can*, sometimes, be seen as a not particularly masculine one and so it's not a desirable trait.
-Over caffeinated thoughts-"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women. "
I think it's because it's cool for a woman to be bi and men and women wouldn’t be put off meeting a bi woman but many women or men for that matter don't see a bi sexual man as cool or acceptable sexually as a meet, not all but most |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Women fancying other women adds to their femininity. With males that notion of fancying another male detracts from their perception of masculinity. "
Surely it should double their masculinity?  |
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It comes down to social acceptance via public media.
Girl on girl has been part of porn since at least the 1940s/50s so since then its been watched time and time again which then seeps into what is deemed "acceptable"
Whilst male on male porn isnt so mainstream, due to laws being changed in 1967 its not had the same veiwing.
Also it comes down to peoples mentalities. Male locker rooms are still filled with jokes and digs about "hes gay, hes just looked at your cock haw haw". Which again knocks on through social groups which keeps men in the closet through fear of being outcast from their friends and family.. This intern keeps porn low key which keeps social ignorance where it is... So it is all a bit of a viciois circle really.
Only way we can change it is to change social attitudes and that takes time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think also girl on girl is often portrayed as "nice" or kinda superficial whereas man on man is usually assumed to be rougher and more penetration focused. Porn has a lot to answer for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think also girl on girl is often portrayed as "nice" or kinda superficial whereas man on man is usually assumed to be rougher and more penetration focused. Porn has a lot to answer for. "
most certainly does
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think also girl on girl is often portrayed as "nice" or kinda superficial whereas man on man is usually assumed to be rougher and more penetration focused. Porn has a lot to answer for. "
It does indeed. |
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I've a theory. Women are no more bi than men are. It's just more socially acceptable for women to be so. Look how many chaps on here are 'fab straight'.
The majority of people are judgemental and distrustful of bisexual men. I've numerous bi friends who'd never come out to their vanilla mates as they present as straight, have a blokey lifestyle and keep their cock sucking a secret for fear of ridicule.
The more people dismiss and are outright rude about male bisexuality, the more they'll stay in the closet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've a theory. Women are no more bi than men are. It's just more socially acceptable for women to be so. Look how many chaps on here are 'fab straight'.
The majority of people are judgemental and distrustful of bisexual men. I've numerous bi friends who'd never come out to their vanilla mates as they present as straight, have a blokey lifestyle and keep their cock sucking a secret for fear of ridicule.
The more people dismiss and are outright rude about male bisexuality, the more they'll stay in the closet "
I have friends like to too. It breaks my heart |
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I wonder if, in addition to the above, it's a power thing. Think about how people talk about unwanted sexual attention from men and women. Men are treated as threatening if they persist, women often as amusing. While there can be some truth to the former, the latter isn't without its problems.
And yes very much about the male gaze. I get the impression (and have even been told) that my bisexuality is kinky, something hot for men to observe. As if my desires and attraction needs to be filtered through a man's desire. I'm but an object of someone else's feelings. Where men are attracted to each other, maybe some men feel threatened that they might become the object the way they do to us?
I have feelings on this issue obviously and my thoughts are a bit jumbled. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wonder if, in addition to the above, it's a power thing. Think about how people talk about unwanted sexual attention from men and women. Men are treated as threatening if they persist, women often as amusing. While there can be some truth to the former, the latter isn't without its problems.
And yes very much about the male gaze. I get the impression (and have even been told) that my bisexuality is kinky, something hot for men to observe. As if my desires and attraction needs to be filtered through a man's desire. I'm but an object of someone else's feelings. Where men are attracted to each other, maybe some men feel threatened that they might become the object the way they do to us?
I have feelings on this issue obviously and my thoughts are a bit jumbled. "
I totally agree with you, and understand the jumble
I was on a night out and ‘no’ wasn’t a good enough answer. But my male friend put his arm around the harassing man, who exclaimed ‘no I’m not gay!’ Straight away. My friend grinned at him and he said ‘no!’ again. Weird how he thought he would be listened too the first time when he told a man no? But that isn’t enough when I say no? |
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"I think also girl on girl is often portrayed as "nice" or kinda superficial whereas man on man is usually assumed to be rougher and more penetration focused. Porn has a lot to answer for. "
Bi women are "accepted" as long as we "behave "ourselves and aren't threatening.People tend to view as us in a superficial titillating way.
Bi men are seen as a threat to all those poor vulnerable straight guys...an openly bi man makes some straight men uncomfortable as they don't want to look too closely at their own sexuality.
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By *irthy73Man
over a year ago
stourport |
I think women are generally more comfortable with other women emotionally, and then the drift into something more sexual can be gentler. Plus women can say a woman is attractive, beautiful etc give a hug, a kiss with no stigma, us guys tend to be taught to be strong, not show emotion be tough.
Me I like to think I’m in touch with my feminine side, I was touched by The sadness of Brokebrook Mountian. But have never had the desire to “experiment” with another man. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think also girl on girl is often portrayed as "nice" or kinda superficial whereas man on man is usually assumed to be rougher and more penetration focused. Porn has a lot to answer for.
Bi women are "accepted" as long as we "behave "ourselves and aren't threatening.People tend to view as us in a superficial titillating way.
Bi men are seen as a threat to all those poor vulnerable straight guys...an openly bi man makes some straight men uncomfortable as they don't want to look too closely at their own sexuality.
"
My brother in law hates me for many many reasons. One of the (pathetic) reasons being is that I’m bisexual, and so was his ex girlfriend (who I remained friends with for many years after they broke up and she was my maid of honour). Any time we spoke, touched, hugged etc he went mental. Screamed at me one day that I was going to steal his girlfriend 
Told his girlfriend not to speak to me. We were best friends and did a lot together, so that wasn’t happening.
She ended up having feelings for me just before my wedding which she confessed to me on New Year’s Eve 2016 but that isn’t the point they had been over for 3 years by now.
But he was threatened by me, purely because of our sexualities. It never once crossed my husbands mind that anything would happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've a theory. Women are no more bi than men are. It's just more socially acceptable for women to be so. Look how many chaps on here are 'fab straight'.
The majority of people are judgemental and distrustful of bisexual men. I've numerous bi friends who'd never come out to their vanilla mates as they present as straight, have a blokey lifestyle and keep their cock sucking a secret for fear of ridicule.
The more people dismiss and are outright rude about male bisexuality, the more they'll stay in the closet "
This is Spot on and sadly some of the rudest are in the bi closet themselves ..chest beating and telling gay/Bi jokes to camaflauge their own secret desires..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's due on part to queen Victoria criminalizing male on male connections mostly, hence 2 woman are allowed in a public cubicle together and for 2 men in a cubicle together it's illegal.  |
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I always got the impression when a club hold a bisexual night the evening is actually aimed more at creating a space where men can comfortably play with other men (as well as other genders). As it seems any normal club night it is perfectly normal to see women play together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo"
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks. "
Well why not lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol "
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd say the disparity in numbers is because a lot of women are only bi when there's a man involved  "
I agree with that on fab to an extent but I’ve noticed it in real life too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because men are disease carrying trollops.
Lesbinims don't give each other nasty diseases because they don't fuck men, who are all trollops.
Men should be manly and not let other men take their botties with their penises; 'cos that's gay right?
Everything wrong in the world today is because men fuck each other, especially Brexit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because men are disease carrying trollops.
Lesbinims don't give each other nasty diseases because they don't fuck men, who are all trollops.
Men should be manly and not let other men take their botties with their penises; 'cos that's gay right?
Everything wrong in the world today is because men fuck each other, especially Brexit."
Ah yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women. "
Yes of course.
But on the whole the dont you think women have better looks.
Even on bed head day you girls can don the face mask pull out the killer heels
What can i do on bad day.shave and hope for the best
Then theres people.
Men can be very cock strong
And the idea of enjoying one that isnt ours i think is a harder line to cross then it is for women.
Perhaps im bi...ased
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women.
Yes of course.
But on the whole the dont you think women have better looks.
Even on bed head day you girls can don the face mask pull out the killer heels
What can i do on bad day.shave and hope for the best
Then theres people.
Men can be very cock strong
And the idea of enjoying one that isnt ours i think is a harder line to cross then it is for women.
Perhaps im bi...ased
"
Nope not really I’m bisexual but prefer men and currently only want to play with men. I don’t find either sex ‘more attractive’.
And ah, I see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women.
Yes of course.
But on the whole the dont you think women have better looks.
Even on bed head day you girls can don the face mask pull out the killer heels
What can i do on bad day.shave and hope for the best
Then theres people.
Men can be very cock strong
And the idea of enjoying one that isnt ours i think is a harder line to cross then it is for women.
Perhaps im bi...ased
"
Can you not accept that other men are bi, and it's ok to be, because you don't fancy them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women.
Yes of course.
But on the whole the dont you think women have better looks.
Even on bed head day you girls can don the face mask pull out the killer heels
What can i do on bad day.shave and hope for the best
Then theres people.
Men can be very cock strong
And the idea of enjoying one that isnt ours i think is a harder line to cross then it is for women.
Perhaps im bi...ased
Can you not accept that other men are bi, and it's ok to be, because you don't fancy them?"
Yes i can. put your sausage were you want i dont mind.
But for most men its harder line to cross then women.
Especily when you consider menly men that go around abuseing the wourd gay ect. Perhaps some bi men wont fucking admit it ok
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women.
Yes of course.
But on the whole the dont you think women have better looks.
Even on bed head day you girls can don the face mask pull out the killer heels
What can i do on bad day.shave and hope for the best
Then theres people.
Men can be very cock strong
And the idea of enjoying one that isnt ours i think is a harder line to cross then it is for women.
Perhaps im bi...ased
Can you not accept that other men are bi, and it's ok to be, because you don't fancy them?
Yes i can. put your sausage were you want i dont mind.
But for most men its harder line to cross then women.
Especily when you consider menly men that go around abuseing the wourd gay ect. Perhaps some bi men wont fucking admit it ok
"
I know some bi men ‘won’t fucking admit it’ and I’m asking why, when plenty of bi women do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id say women on whole are more attractive then men. Why wouldnt there be more bi girls then boys
Cocks are fugly anywhoo
I’m not attracted to men for their cocks.
Well why not lol
Because I’m not? Just like I’m not attracted to women for their tits and pussy.
I’m sure gay men find men more attractive than women.
Yes of course.
But on the whole the dont you think women have better looks.
Even on bed head day you girls can don the face mask pull out the killer heels
What can i do on bad day.shave and hope for the best
Then theres people.
Men can be very cock strong
And the idea of enjoying one that isnt ours i think is a harder line to cross then it is for women.
Perhaps im bi...ased
Can you not accept that other men are bi, and it's ok to be, because you don't fancy them?
Yes i can. put your sausage were you want i dont mind.
But for most men its harder line to cross then women.
Especily when you consider menly men that go around abuseing the wourd gay ect. Perhaps some bi men wont fucking admit it ok
I know some bi men ‘won’t fucking admit it’ and I’m asking why, when plenty of bi women do? "
For me its prejudice from men and peers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's also social conditioning when your young and I reckon by the time your in your mid 30s Queen it probably will be a lot more acceptable .. "
I really hope so!
I remember when I got my first girlfriend age 13, and a guy at school shouted ‘you eat pussy you dyke’ at me. This went on for a few days until I eventually snapped, and shouted ‘are you just annoyed that I get more than you?!’
And we got on quite well after that 
Funnily enough my girlfriend didn’t get any abuse as she was a ‘hardman’  |
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I’m bi always have been. I have friends of all persuasions. It’s very sad when people can’t express who they are or how they feel.
But to the point, my gay friends openly say to me I’m not gay, don’t act it arnt gay partner material, one said! It’s monumentally confusing to talk about or describe but actually really easy to be. If I like someone I like them regardless of thier sex or sexuality. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I think also girl on girl is often portrayed as "nice" or kinda superficial whereas man on man is usually assumed to be rougher and more penetration focused. Porn has a lot to answer for. "
I think this is the basis of it. Men penetrate, women do not (toys excepted), so men (especially insecure ones) see gay men as a threat because they might try and penetrate them (however unfounded this fear is). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say in part it's a societies issue. As a teen I remember "gay bashing" which happened often as I attended gay clubs 4 nights a week then.
Groups of lads would wait for closing and pick people out disgusting behaviour. That's not an easily forgotten mindset. Still some think same sex couples shouldn't publicly display affection, hand holding, kissing and hugging. People still believe it's a behind closed doors policy. My parents generation especially!
I was bullied school for being different. I liked the girls so what?!
Ironically the boys who'd bully me for liking girls, several years later spotted in the clubs Id go and they had finally accepted themselves. They were gay or bi! Few even were drag Queens, part of the nights act.
Other part of straight mens fear I feel is they think the bi men would treat them the same as they themselves treat other women. What they need to do is change how they treat women and understand that not right to treat people like that. Afraid they will get groped without asking for it because that's what they'd do to a woman, objectify them.
Quite a lot of men think they have the right to "seduce" a woman. Stroking and squeezing an ass or tit without asking or invited first.
You'll find more bi men have better manners. Because they know not to touch without being invited to.
Of course a few may. Too many men have the entitled mind set.
In pubs, in clubs, even more so in swingers clubs. Naked or scantily dressed women doesn't mean you can touch when ever you feel like.
If they stop thinking this way soon they will understand men aren't going to assault them either just because the other guy is bi.
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"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women. "
You speak of four years ago when you were still at school . For me 43 years ago when I was still at school the fact that either sex could be gay or bi never even came up !
I can honestly say we never knew of a single girl who was bi or lesbian , and although we took the rip out of each other in the showers etc.... the fact is no one came out as bi or gay .
So imagine how it is for my generation today . It’s almost like there’s something wrong with a woman if she isn’t open to a bit of rug munching today . And pretty much every guy has or would be open to a bit of man on man action , and most guys on here are only fab straight .
I don’t think people frown upon gay and bi guys as much as you think they do though . Again , today’s society seems to embrace the gay and bi guys more now than ever before . Even the most alpha male men’s men seem to see a bit of man on man as being ok today .
I think bi and lesbian women can be seen as a threat to men if their female partners spend a lot of time in the company of them . I know two of my mates lost their long term partners to lesbians , and for a guy of my age there’s nothing worse than knowing your mrs prefers a woman to you . One of the guys ended up in the loony bin after trying to top himself when he got home early and found his mrs in bed with a lesbian . She left him , took the kids and he was desolate . Felt useless and was never the same again . The other guy was ambivalent as he was shagging around anyway , but again he wanted to brush it under the carpet as it’s not what any red blooded bloke wants to accept .
Whether there really are more bi women than men is open to conjecture . Bi playful and proud is more likely to be a fair analogy . Men will hide it and go with other guys in secret . But that won’t be for long . They will soon be as open as bi women and with a gender binary scale from 1 to 64 , who’s not gonna be a bit bent ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m bi always have been. I have friends of all persuasions. It’s very sad when people can’t express who they are or how they feel.
But to the point, my gay friends openly say to me I’m not gay, don’t act it arnt gay partner material, one said! It’s monumentally confusing to talk about or describe but actually really easy to be. If I like someone I like them regardless of thier sex or sexuality."
Youre probably pansexual then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Other part of straight mens fear I feel is they think the bi men would treat them the same as they themselves treat other women. What they need to do is change how they treat women and understand that not right to treat people like that. Afraid they will get groped without asking for it because that's what they'd do to a woman, objectify them.
Quite a lot of men think they have the right to "seduce" a woman. Stroking and squeezing an ass or tit without asking or invited first.
You'll find more bi men have better manners. Because they know not to touch without being invited to.
Of course a few may. Too many men have the entitled mind set.
In pubs, in clubs, even more so in swingers clubs. Naked or scantily dressed women doesn't mean you can touch when ever you feel like.
If they stop thinking this way soon they will understand men aren't going to assault them either just because the other guy is bi.
"
I can relate to this so much. Weird how many straight men understand consent completely when it comes to other men touching them, talking to them etc, but when it comes to them speaking to women...nope! Understanding out the window. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also social conditioning when your young and I reckon by the time your in your mid 30s Queen it probably will be a lot more acceptable .. "
I think that depends on parents. I know some horrible parents who tell their children who they should marry, or tell them being gay is wrong. They turn them into mini mes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's also social conditioning when your young and I reckon by the time your in your mid 30s Queen it probably will be a lot more acceptable ..
I think that depends on parents. I know some horrible parents who tell their children who they should marry, or tell them being gay is wrong. They turn them into mini mes."
Also true
I thankfully have parents that when I came out as bisexual, my mum laughed and said ‘I knew it, I knew you were at least a little gay’ and well, my dad once called me a pussy and I said ‘you are what you eat’ and he laughed so much he ch**ed on his drink. He thought it was brilliant (not me being bisexual, he couldn’t care what gender I’m attracted too, just the way I told him). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also social conditioning when your young and I reckon by the time your in your mid 30s Queen it probably will be a lot more acceptable ..
I think that depends on parents. I know some horrible parents who tell their children who they should marry, or tell them being gay is wrong. They turn them into mini mes.
Also true
I thankfully have parents that when I came out as bisexual, my mum laughed and said ‘I knew it, I knew you were at least a little gay’ and well, my dad once called me a pussy and I said ‘you are what you eat’ and he laughed so much he ch**ed on his drink. He thought it was brilliant (not me being bisexual, he couldn’t care what gender I’m attracted too, just the way I told him). "
I feel for people who have family they are frightened to be themselves around, or are going against religious beliefs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women. "
Personally I find that I have been accepted by many of my friends on here, but would NEVER come out to my ‘nilla’ friends as they would probably disown me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are as many guys on here who list themselves as bi or curious to get meets with other men as there are bi guys who list themselves as straight
If they list themselves as gay, they would get nothing
Guys don't sleep with gays, they sleep with other guys who like women
It's all part of 'the game'
Kiddology in full force
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"I’m bi always have been. I have friends of all persuasions. It’s very sad when people can’t express who they are or how they feel.
But to the point, my gay friends openly say to me I’m not gay, don’t act it arnt gay partner material, one said! It’s monumentally confusing to talk about or describe but actually really easy to be. If I like someone I like them regardless of thier sex or sexuality.
Youre probably pansexual then "
Never heard of that! Do they do TShirts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Personally I find that I have been accepted by many of my friends on here, but would NEVER come out to my ‘nilla’ friends as they would probably disown me "
They may surprise you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sybarite.... I wouldn’t want to test them to see!
One other point for the OP.... I’m not in any way wanting to have a relationship with a Male, but sometimes like to play with what they have
It’s only sex at the end of the day.... I’m not gonna run off and marry a bloke  |
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Growing up as a straight guy the last you want to be known as is "gay".. As a guy who has exprimented before in the past only to come to find out who i truly am and what i truly like sexually, i am secure as i can be in that sense but I can tell you right now that i would never even think about saying that to anyone i know irl.. Because i know people would look at me differently, i feel they would look at me as less of a man and i would hate that..
So i bury it, forget that it even happended in the first place.
Does it hurt? No. Can sleep comfortably at night? Yes (insomnia is a bitch tho)
Will that be the same for other men.. Of course not. Some men will struggle all of their lives with this and no one around them would be any the wiser.. Its sad, very sad actually. This isnt a problem where you just flip a switch, pull a lever and say "there fixed all for you", this a personal problem on a individual level.. And i dont have the answers, wish i did. All i can say is try and find out who you really are and accept that truth not matter how hard you think it might hurt. The truth will set us all free. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Growing up as a straight guy the last you want to be known as is "gay".. As a guy who has exprimented before in the past only to come to find out who i truly am and what i truly like sexually, i am secure as i can be in that sense but I can tell you right now that i would never even think about saying that to anyone i know irl.. Because i know people would look at me differently, i feel they would look at me as less of a man and i would hate that..
So i bury it, forget that it even happended in the first place.
Does it hurt? No. Can sleep comfortably at night? Yes (insomnia is a bitch tho)
Will that be the same for other men.. Of course not. Some men will struggle all of their lives with this and no one around them would be any the wiser.. Its sad, very sad actually. This isnt a problem where you just flip a switch, pull a lever and say "there fixed all for you", this a personal problem on a individual level.. And i dont have the answers, wish i did. All i can say is try and find out who you really are and accept that truth not matter how hard you think it might hurt. The truth will set us all free."
The last thing you want to be known as is ‘gay’. Really? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sybarite.... I wouldn’t want to test them to see!
One other point for the OP.... I’m not in any way wanting to have a relationship with a Male, but sometimes like to play with what they have
It’s only sex at the end of the day.... I’m not gonna run off and marry a bloke "
They don't need to know about your sex life, I agree, unless you want to be in a relationship with a man. |
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"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women. "
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?"
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sybarite.... I wouldn’t want to test them to see!
One other point for the OP.... I’m not in any way wanting to have a relationship with a Male, but sometimes like to play with what they have
It’s only sex at the end of the day.... I’m not gonna run off and marry a bloke
They don't need to know about your sex life, I agree, unless you want to be in a relationship with a man. "
Nope! I’m more than happy with Mrs marmite... but sometimes want what she can’t give |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's taught in society. Women are 'allowed' under social norms to touch and kiss either gender of any age at any age.
Boys from early to mid teens have to start shaking hands at 2 arm lengths apart unless one of them has just scored a goal.
I think this social attitude probably dates back to when male homosexuality was illegal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence "
Because straight men have a porn night and watch lesbian porn. If one of them said let's watch gay men fuck he would be thrown out of the window for being a wrongun.
Women don't get together to watch gay porn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's taught in society. Women are 'allowed' under social norms to touch and kiss either gender of any age at any age.
Boys from early to mid teens have to start shaking hands at 2 arm lengths apart unless one of them has just scored a goal.
I think this social attitude probably dates back to when male homosexuality was illegal. "
Not in European countries. They do the double cheek kiss and hug to men too. |
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" The last thing you want to be known as is ‘gay’. Really? "
Okay my bad thats me over exaggerating for effect (obviously there worse things to be know as) but at times it can certainly feel that way.. Especially during the teen years. But as years go on hopefully this can become less of a issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's taught in society. Women are 'allowed' under social norms to touch and kiss either gender of any age at any age.
Boys from early to mid teens have to start shaking hands at 2 arm lengths apart unless one of them has just scored a goal.
I think this social attitude probably dates back to when male homosexuality was illegal.
Not in European countries. They do the double cheek kiss and hug to men too. "
Mainland Europe, not the UK. Not sure about Germany either. I think they might do a manly pat on the back. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" The last thing you want to be known as is ‘gay’. Really?
Okay my bad thats me over exaggerating for effect (obviously there worse things to be know as) but at times it can certainly feel that way.. Especially during the teen years. But as years go on hopefully this can become less of a issue. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's taught in society. Women are 'allowed' under social norms to touch and kiss either gender of any age at any age.
Boys from early to mid teens have to start shaking hands at 2 arm lengths apart unless one of them has just scored a goal.
I think this social attitude probably dates back to when male homosexuality was illegal.
Not in European countries. They do the double cheek kiss and hug to men too.
Mainland Europe, not the UK. Not sure about Germany either. I think they might do a manly pat on the back."
My husband and all his friends are very touchy feely, when we’re saying bye we all hug and kiss each other on the cheek, regardless of gender. But we are the younger generation? Are we more accepting? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think there's any number of reasons that male bisexuality is still frowned upon in some sections of society compared to female bisexuality and most of them have been covered here - I also find it interesting that being gay is pretty much accepted across the board apart from by the extremely bigoted or in some religious sectors, yet male bisexuality particularly seems to be taboo.
I guess it's also bought into sharp perspective by *this* life - on the one hand it's frowned upon in most clubs apart from on a bi night for male on male play to happen, yet it's almost expected that women will play together on any night - likewise the way *some* profiles will implicitly specify no bi males, which is their right but still highlights things to an extent - yet on the other hand Bi Nights are often very popular and there are plenty of people who do actively seek bi males - so being part of this life magnifies things a little into both sides of the camp.
I'm openly bisexual and fully embrace that side of myself and think as someone else said the more people are open about it, with time some of the barriers will start to come down hopefully.
I also wonder how much of a difference there is between acceptance of bisexuality by my generation and that of people say in their twenties and whether there is more tolerance and liberation at that age range than there is at mine due to ingrained attitudes of the time we few up in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's taught in society. Women are 'allowed' under social norms to touch and kiss either gender of any age at any age.
Boys from early to mid teens have to start shaking hands at 2 arm lengths apart unless one of them has just scored a goal.
I think this social attitude probably dates back to when male homosexuality was illegal.
Not in European countries. They do the double cheek kiss and hug to men too. "
Very true, but I have no real idea if bisexuality in males is more accepted there than here, anyone out there a member of a Euro fab equivalent?
I have heard that in early Victorian times before the law changed, it was accepted and normal for men to embrace with a hug and to hold hands in public.
A select group of my male friends always hug on meeting, but I wouldn't dream of giving a man I didn't know very well a hug, where I have seen women hug at the end of a business meeting.
For the record I am regretfully straight, which I consider to be a barrier, would like to be bi but just don't want to play with cocks, often not even my own. But have no issues with bi or gay men or women in public.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's taught in society. Women are 'allowed' under social norms to touch and kiss either gender of any age at any age.
Boys from early to mid teens have to start shaking hands at 2 arm lengths apart unless one of them has just scored a goal.
I think this social attitude probably dates back to when male homosexuality was illegal.
Not in European countries. They do the double cheek kiss and hug to men too.
Mainland Europe, not the UK. Not sure about Germany either. I think they might do a manly pat on the back.
My husband and all his friends are very touchy feely, when we’re saying bye we all hug and kiss each other on the cheek, regardless of gender. But we are the younger generation? Are we more accepting?"
Could be a new generation thing, or could just be certain groups.
My grandsons don't shake hands or touch at all. They give a little "'sup" not to each other. |
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"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence "
Women don't penetrate or ejaculate. It could be Argued that lesbian sex isn't fornication at all. Whereas if you're bi and male you actually want to be involved with the penetration of yourself by another man or penetrating another man. Even if its just his mouth. Its "proper" bi. Not just mucking about! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence
Women don't penetrate or ejaculate. It could be Argued that lesbian sex isn't fornication at all. Whereas if you're bi and male you actually want to be involved with the penetration of yourself by another man or penetrating another man. Even if its just his mouth. Its "proper" bi. Not just mucking about! "
‘Aye I just let him suck me off for a laugh’ |
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"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence
Women don't penetrate or ejaculate. It could be Argued that lesbian sex isn't fornication at all. Whereas if you're bi and male you actually want to be involved with the penetration of yourself by another man or penetrating another man. Even if its just his mouth. Its "proper" bi. Not just mucking about!
‘Aye I just let him suck me off for a laugh’ "
I think that only works if you play rugby! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence
Women don't penetrate or ejaculate. It could be Argued that lesbian sex isn't fornication at all. Whereas if you're bi and male you actually want to be involved with the penetration of yourself by another man or penetrating another man. Even if its just his mouth. Its "proper" bi. Not just mucking about!
‘Aye I just let him suck me off for a laugh’
I think that only works if you play rugby!"
To be fair, it was the rugby lads at school who used that excuse.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are more people accepting of bisexual/lesbian women, than men?
Not just on here, but in every day life.
I see more women who aren’t straight, than men. Are women just more open? If so, why?
Or are there just genuinely more bisexual and lesbian women than there is gay and bisexual men?
I remember being at school and if a girl came out, it was fine. Normal, accepted, and fine. Buy it a boy came out....the girls would be more excepting than the boys. The boys wouldn’t go near him. I’m from a really nice area as well Maybe that was just my school?
Obviously that was four years ago now, but ‘gay’ is still used as an insult...why?
I hope I’ve worded this right and haven’t offended anybody, as that is not my intention at all. It’s just little things I’ve noticed. You hear about ‘fab straight’ men, but never ‘fab straight’ women.
Is it because men are worried they might be bi or even worse gay? So if it's discouraged or looked down upon then they never need to confront the fact they're not as straight as they hoped?
But why is it more discouraged or looked down upon than when women come out as bisexual or gay?
Is it purely porns fault? Porn has a big influence
Women don't penetrate or ejaculate. It could be Argued that lesbian sex isn't fornication at all. Whereas if you're bi and male you actually want to be involved with the penetration of yourself by another man or penetrating another man. Even if its just his mouth. Its "proper" bi. Not just mucking about! "
‘With women it’s more lighthearted !’
David Brent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if, in addition to the above, it's a power thing. Think about how people talk about unwanted sexual attention from men and women. Men are treated as threatening if they persist, women often as amusing. While there can be some truth to the former, the latter isn't without its problems.
And yes very much about the male gaze. I get the impression (and have even been told) that my bisexuality is kinky, something hot for men to observe. As if my desires and attraction needs to be filtered through a man's desire. I'm but an object of someone else's feelings. Where men are attracted to each other, maybe some men feel threatened that they might become the object the way they do to us?
I have feelings on this issue obviously and my thoughts are a bit jumbled. "
I think you're absolutely right.
The majority of sexual assaults are committed by men. They don't like to feel that perceived 'threat' from gay or bi men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if, in addition to the above, it's a power thing. Think about how people talk about unwanted sexual attention from men and women. Men are treated as threatening if they persist, women often as amusing. While there can be some truth to the former, the latter isn't without its problems.
And yes very much about the male gaze. I get the impression (and have even been told) that my bisexuality is kinky, something hot for men to observe. As if my desires and attraction needs to be filtered through a man's desire. I'm but an object of someone else's feelings. Where men are attracted to each other, maybe some men feel threatened that they might become the object the way they do to us?
I have feelings on this issue obviously and my thoughts are a bit jumbled.
I think you're absolutely right.
The majority of sexual assaults are committed by men. They don't like to feel that perceived 'threat' from gay or bi men. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Other part of straight mens fear I feel is they think the bi men would treat them the same as they themselves treat other women. What they need to do is change how they treat women and understand that not right to treat people like that. Afraid they will get groped without asking for it because that's what they'd do to a woman, objectify them.
Quite a lot of men think they have the right to "seduce" a woman. Stroking and squeezing an ass or tit without asking or invited first.
You'll find more bi men have better manners. Because they know not to touch without being invited to.
Of course a few may. Too many men have the entitled mind set.
In pubs, in clubs, even more so in swingers clubs. Naked or scantily dressed women doesn't mean you can touch when ever you feel like.
If they stop thinking this way soon they will understand men aren't going to assault them either just because the other guy is bi.
I can relate to this so much. Weird how many straight men understand consent completely when it comes to other men touching them, talking to them etc, but when it comes to them speaking to women...nope! Understanding out the window. "
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