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Hotel - who pays?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you meet in a hotel who usually pays or who do you think should pay? Surely it should be half each. There’s lots of men who would insist on paying I know that and that’s very gentlemanly and all that and I’m definitely no feminist but I think I’d just feel a bit cheap if I didn’t pay half. What do you all think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I offer if I’ve asked for the meeting, and I’m very happy to foot the entire bill.
If the lady insists, then I will explain that’s it’s all good and I’m genuinely happy to pay, if she still insists then I don’t want to offend and will accept.
It’s a fine line between chivalry and not respecting the lady’s genuine wishes! If you quibble over it too much it can be damaging - but where you draw the line and agree on a compromise is subjective isn’t it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends. If I was traveling to them I'd pay. Meeting halfway I'd probably want to book and pay myself but let him pick up the other costs like drink or food. If he was coming to me I'd probably still offer to pay but would accept it if he did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet in a hotel who usually pays or who do you think should pay? Surely it should be half each. There’s lots of men who would insist on paying I know that and that’s very gentlemanly and all that and I’m definitely no feminist but I think I’d just feel a bit cheap if I didn’t pay half. What do you all think?"
I usually take care of the bill......... only because I get ridiculous discounts lol. Seriously, I do like being a gentleman, taking the lead......... I feel cheeky asking a woman to pay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I offer if I’ve asked for the meeting, and I’m very happy to foot the entire bill.
If the lady insists, then I will explain that’s it’s all good and I’m genuinely happy to pay, if she still insists then I don’t want to offend and will accept.
It’s a fine line between chivalry and not respecting the lady’s genuine wishes! If you quibble over it too much it can be damaging - but where you draw the line and agree on a compromise is subjective isn’t it? "
Having said that, it’s a Travelodge, right! I’m not staying at the Ritz! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet in a hotel who usually pays or who do you think should pay? Surely it should be half each. There’s lots of men who would insist on paying I know that and that’s very gentlemanly and all that and I’m definitely no feminist but I think I’d just feel a bit cheap if I didn’t pay half. What do you all think?
I usually take care of the bill......... only because I get ridiculous discounts lol. Seriously, I do like being a gentleman, taking the lead......... I feel cheeky asking a woman to pay "
It’s a fine line though sometimes. Not all women want men to do the traditional ‘gentlemanly thing’ and like to be independent and foot their side of the bill. It can cause offence to some if you insist on being the gentleman!
But then others love the whole gentlemanly chivalry thing! It’s a bloody minefield I tell ya!! |
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I always go halves - because then we're both on a level so to speak and there can be absolutely no doubt about expectation/obligation based on financial contribution. We can just get on with enjoying ourselves! I'd like to think that most offers to pay would come from a place of genuine generosity but don't want to leave myself open to awkwardness or criticism from any which aren't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet in a hotel who usually pays or who do you think should pay? Surely it should be half each. There’s lots of men who would insist on paying I know that and that’s very gentlemanly and all that and I’m definitely no feminist but I think I’d just feel a bit cheap if I didn’t pay half. What do you all think?"
I always pay, I just think its traditional, but usually if we need food and drink then that gets split usually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My hotel meets usually happened when I work away so the company foots the bill.
But otherwise 50/50
Or 33.333/33.333/33.333 "
More like 66.666/33.333, never get the money off her, the wench! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My hotel meets usually happened when I work away so the company foots the bill.
But otherwise 50/50"
Yeah different if you can get it through a business |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Split 50/50 but, who gets to keep the room after play-time has finished?
Should the person who gets to keep it pay more?"
Why wouldn't you both leave at the same time? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Split 50/50 but, who gets to keep the room after play-time has finished?
Should the person who gets to keep it pay more?"
Haha yeah if they’re waiting for their next encounter later!! |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Split 50/50 but, who gets to keep the room after play-time has finished?
Should the person who gets to keep it pay more?
Why wouldn't you both leave at the same time?"
For many reasons; another meeting, going out with the guys/girls afterwards and need a place to crash, because it's paid for so might as well make the most of it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet in a hotel who usually pays or who do you think should pay? Surely it should be half each. There’s lots of men who would insist on paying I know that and that’s very gentlemanly and all that and I’m definitely no feminist but I think I’d just feel a bit cheap if I didn’t pay half. What do you all think?"
I’d be happy pick up cost but if the meet half wanted to contribute I’d leave it up to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on the circumstances, but generally you’re both there for the same reason and both getting what you’re looking for, so at least an offer to go halves is more than welcome.
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I’d say I was happy to pay for the first time we met but then take turns about. It’s usually easier not to split the bill when paying at reception and if I’ve put it on a card, then it seems unchivalrous to accept 50% in cash. I wouldn’t want to offend or appear chauvinistic by not doing so, so if the lady insisted I’d suggest that she paid for a bottle of wine or the taxi or suchlike; perhaps she could buy me dinner before or afterwards. I’d definitely go on the assumption that we’d get on and plan to meet again and again even if it was just once in a while.
Hope this helps. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Would always expect to pay half to avoid any sense of obligation or expectation in any respect - also always offer to let the other person book it so the room is in their name (but happy to book it myself if they'd prefer I did) - if they book it, always offer to get them my half of the money before the meet if necessary too.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’d say I was happy to pay for the first time we met but then take turns about. It’s usually easier not to split the bill when paying at reception and if I’ve put it on a card, then it seems unchivalrous to accept 50% in cash. I wouldn’t want to offend or appear chauvinistic by not doing so, so if the lady insisted I’d suggest that she paid for a bottle of wine or the taxi or suchlike; perhaps she could buy me dinner before or afterwards. I’d definitely go on the assumption that we’d get on and plan to meet again and again even if it was just once in a while.
Hope this helps. "
Yeah if he insisted then I’d buy drinks etc. But if it’s a regular thing definitely take turns or pay half. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends if were in the area already obviously us if I'm meeting a lady usually me if I'm meeting a couple 50/50. Obviously I/we usually have a conversation first prior to the meet. |
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I ran into some issues with this over the Summer.
We'd arranged to meet, have dinner and get a hotel for the night.
She was a two hour drive away. I paid for the hotel & meal.
All went well until the morning after when I casually mentioned if she was okay going halves with me on the meal. She made out there and then she was fine with it.
Thereafter, she most certainly wasn't.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going. "
That's not the point! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I ran into some issues with this over the Summer.
We'd arranged to meet, have dinner and get a hotel for the night.
She was a two hour drive away. I paid for the hotel & meal.
All went well until the morning after when I casually mentioned if she was okay going halves with me on the meal. She made out there and then she was fine with it.
Thereafter, she most certainly wasn't.
"
That's why I always discuss costs of the meet beforehand - not down to the minutest detail but certainly around sharing the cost of the room or club entry etc.
No room for doubt and no awkward discussions during the meet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though. "
A no brainer for that price |
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I've done everything- depends on the meet.
used to meet someone on a fairly regular basis- found it was easier to take turns paying than split the bill. I've invited others to come and join me and covered the whole cost and have had similar invitations sent to me.
If you're not paying though- always make sure you turn up with a suitable selection of snacks n drink...tis rude not to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though.
A no brainer for that price "
Oi!! Stop talking like it's an offer you found on the Lidl middle aisle if you please |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though.
A no brainer for that price
Oi!! Stop talking like it's an offer you found on the Lidl middle aisle if you please "
You know me, love a bargain |
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"Would always expect to pay half to avoid any sense of obligation or expectation in any respect - also always offer to let the other person book it so the room is in their name (but happy to book it myself if they'd prefer I did) - if they book it, always offer to get them my half of the money before the meet if necessary too.
Yes, it’s a good point; I’d be very clear that there was no obligation or expectations and not just say it, but mean it. And I’d certainly be happy if they preferred to make the booking: it this case definitely 50/50, with the money sorted beforehand so it doesn’t get in the way.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though.
A no brainer for that price
Oi!! Stop talking like it's an offer you found on the Lidl middle aisle if you please
You know me, love a bargain "
Bogof! And I'm not talking about the two for one deal either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive never expected a woman to pay, nothing more cringy than checking out, splitting bills ect id be embarrassed to do so. Shes welcome to buy a bottle of red ?? |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though.
A no brainer for that price
Oi!! Stop talking like it's an offer you found on the Lidl middle aisle if you please
You know me, love a bargain
Bogof! And I'm not talking about the two for one deal either "
Hey I got you a cracking bargain the other day. Just what your kitchen needs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though.
A no brainer for that price
Oi!! Stop talking like it's an offer you found on the Lidl middle aisle if you please
You know me, love a bargain
Bogof! And I'm not talking about the two for one deal either
Hey I got you a cracking bargain the other day. Just what your kitchen needs! "
I cannot deny that you are rubbing off on me Miss SJ |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Well, seeing as Hatter keeps inviting more ladies in I reckon he should sort it
Would only be a couple quid each the way he’s going.
That's not the point!
It’s a good point though.
A no brainer for that price
Oi!! Stop talking like it's an offer you found on the Lidl middle aisle if you please
You know me, love a bargain
Bogof! And I'm not talking about the two for one deal either
Hey I got you a cracking bargain the other day. Just what your kitchen needs!
I cannot deny that you are rubbing off on me Miss SJ "
On a fairly regular basis |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Would always expect to pay half to avoid any sense of obligation or expectation in any respect - also always offer to let the other person book it so the room is in their name (but happy to book it myself if they'd prefer I did) - if they book it, always offer to get them my half of the money before the meet if necessary too.
Yes, it’s a good point; I’d be very clear that there was no obligation or expectations and not just say it, but mean it. And I’d certainly be happy if they preferred to make the booking: it this case definitely 50/50, with the money sorted beforehand so it doesn’t get in the way.
"
I once, without thinking, handed over my half of the room money just as the waiter approached as we were eating in the hotel restaurant - we laughed after about how it must have looked!!
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Whilst I generally substribe to deviding the cost equally (50/50, 33.33/33.33...), as I'm a fan of the 'multi-play scenario, I'd be more than happy to pay for the room so long as I was able to entice 2 or 3 couples to join me. I get to keep the complimentary biscuits though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive never expected a woman to pay, nothing more cringy than checking out, splitting bills ect id be embarrassed to do so. Shes welcome to buy a bottle of red ??"
Not a problem with Travelodges! You pay in advance! |
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"Ive never expected a woman to pay, nothing more cringy than checking out, splitting bills ect id be embarrassed to do so. Shes welcome to buy a bottle of red ??
Not a problem with Travelodges! You pay in advance! "
They don't have day rooms for the you are meant to be working though do they?
I know all of the day rooms in the south west |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive never expected a woman to pay, nothing more cringy than checking out, splitting bills ect id be embarrassed to do so. Shes welcome to buy a bottle of red ??
Not a problem with Travelodges! You pay in advance!
They don't have day rooms for the you are meant to be working though do they?
I know all of the day rooms in the south west "
You can get early check in from 12. |
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"Ive never expected a woman to pay, nothing more cringy than checking out, splitting bills ect id be embarrassed to do so. Shes welcome to buy a bottle of red ??
Not a problem with Travelodges! You pay in advance!
They don't have day rooms for the you are meant to be working though do they?
I know all of the day rooms in the south west
You can get early check in from 12. "
Probably would have been ample time to be fair. |
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Alternatively, to avoid all this distasteful 'paying' malarkey, you could:
a) Complain (politely and legitimately of course) if unhappy with any aspect of your hotel experience and you might get another stay for nothing
or
b) Join a hotel rewards scheme and *eventually* (or sooner, if you're prolific I guess) you might get a free room out of it
Sorted! |
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Hubby says if they want a piece of me they can pay for the privilege
Seriously if the man does all the chasing he usually picks up the bill, if we do the chasing we pick up the bill, seams to work for us.
Afterthought we have not had the situation with a single female but I would think hubby would offer to pay in this instance |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"If you meet in a hotel who usually pays or who do you think should pay? Surely it should be half each. There’s lots of men who would insist on paying I know that and that’s very gentlemanly and all that and I’m definitely no feminist but I think I’d just feel a bit cheap if I didn’t pay half. What do you all think?"
I'm happy to pay. Currently working on a project where I'm in and out of hotels and serviced apartments.
So there's no need for any "guests" to pay |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Alternatively, to avoid all this distasteful 'paying' malarkey, you could:
a) Complain (politely and legitimately of course) if unhappy with any aspect of your hotel experience and you might get another stay for nothing
or
b) Join a hotel rewards scheme and *eventually* (or sooner, if you're prolific I guess) you might get a free room out of it
Sorted!"
Or go in a premier inn and say you didn’t get a good nights sleep and get your money back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Half and half works. I have paid it all before as I was in a better position to do so but the precious time he hosted me.
I also paid when I had vouchers and he paid for the other stuff. I'll happily pay my way but I have been spoilt too but I insist on paying for something |
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