FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Question for the ladies.
Question for the ladies.
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Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive. |
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I don't welcome them.
I've also been told "Well you're on the wrong site if that offends you" on more than one occasion. I must be a prude.
I quite enjoy telling them the kinds of things I WILL do ... but only with those who show me respect, treat me like a person, and I fancy.
I like to picture their face when they realise I could have been their dream meet and they blew it by being a slime. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. |
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Always puzzles, amuses & quite often annoys me.
I have no idea what goes through some guys heads when they send messages, it must work occasionaly as some do have veris.
Personally I find it totaly repulsive, and the senders get blocked... But I leave the message marked unread for a few days before blocking & deleting..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. "
 this. I couldn't put it better myself |
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"Always puzzles, amuses & quite often annoys me.
I have no idea what goes through some guys heads when they send messages, it must work occasionaly as some do have veris.
Personally I find it totaly repulsive, and the senders get blocked... But I leave the message marked unread for a few days before blocking & deleting..
"
Yes.. That's exactly what I mean. Some of these guys are well verified, which leads me to wonder about the people who verified them. Did they get a similar message and like it? Or did the guy send them a totally respectful first message, and if so, why them? Why did my profile invite a message that reads like a porn script? Is it a reflection on me?
I'm in an introspective mood today  |
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"I don't welcome them.
I've also been told "Well you're on the wrong site if that offends you" on more than one occasion. I must be a prude.
I quite enjoy telling them the kinds of things I WILL do ... but only with those who show me respect, treat me like a person, and I fancy.
I like to picture their face when they realise I could have been their dream meet and they blew it by being a slime. "
Princess Prude doesn't have quite the same ring to it does it? They don't know what they're missing out on when they piss you off sweetie I can just imagine those jaws hitting the floor!!  |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
Same as everyone above and just to add what is it in the air currently with calling people 'slut'? Have had a fair few calling me a slut or dirty slut in my opening message - I find that highly offensive and tell them so!
Can you imagine it the other way around?
'Hey knobhead, fancy enough oral to blow your socks off followed by a good hard fucking'?!
Sadly I think a lot would ride with it and just reply yes any way!  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I'd classify them as fab's version of neanderthals. Makes you wonder both on how poor their social skills must be, and potentially what kind of unhinged personality lurks behind that profile. It clearly isn't behaviour one could class as normal when attempting to engage with someone.
As there are tastes for everything and nothing shocks me anymore, I do believe there are a very small minority of women that could actually appreciate that messaging. If they did, they must have serious issues themselves.
I personally like to engage with a lady with respect, a positive vibe and lots of healthy flirting. Building that strong connection and chemistry to the point she'll appreciate my whispering filth into her ear in person |
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"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. "
It shouldn't be... And I think it reflects poorly on the guys who send them - makes you wonder how they interact in the real world. But the fact that some are surprised that they've caused offence has to lead me to believe that some women must have responded well to them at some point? |
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"It amazes me what some men send as introductory messages, and it’s all ages. Some seem to think that a big cock is all that’s needed x "
True. There seems to be an assumption that we're all size Queens looking for 8"+, and happy to overlook everything else in order to get it. I'd rather go without (and have done!) than play with someone I wasn't attracted to. |
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"I don't welcome them.
I've also been told "Well you're on the wrong site if that offends you" on more than one occasion. I must be a prude.
I quite enjoy telling them the kinds of things I WILL do ... but only with those who show me respect, treat me like a person, and I fancy.
I like to picture their face when they realise I could have been their dream meet and they blew it by being a slime.
Princess Prude doesn't have quite the same ring to it does it? They don't know what they're missing out on when they piss you off sweetie I can just imagine those jaws hitting the floor!! "
Can you imagine if that was my name? The amount of messages I'd get from those thinking they could "teach me a thing or 2" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive."
hopefully those guys are in a minority, I certainly would never send messages of that ilk |
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"I think it's like 10 mins til closing in the pub. They're horny, they haven't pulled yet and any girl will do. "
But why message a woman over 100 miles away? Surely if that was the case they'd just grab whoever is nearby and online. |
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"Same as everyone above and just to add what is it in the air currently with calling people 'slut'? Have had a fair few calling me a slut or dirty slut in my opening message - I find that highly offensive and tell them so!
Can you imagine it the other way around?
'Hey knobhead, fancy enough oral to blow your socks off followed by a good hard fucking'?!
Sadly I think a lot would ride with it and just reply yes any way! "
I think you may be right! However, it's not an experiment I'll put to the test as I'd then have to follow through |
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"I'd classify them as fab's version of neanderthals. Makes you wonder both on how poor their social skills must be, and potentially what kind of unhinged personality lurks behind that profile. It clearly isn't behaviour one could class as normal when attempting to engage with someone.
As there are tastes for everything and nothing shocks me anymore, I do believe there are a very small minority of women that could actually appreciate that messaging. If they did, they must have serious issues themselves.
I personally like to engage with a lady with respect, a positive vibe and lots of healthy flirting. Building that strong connection and chemistry to the point she'll appreciate my whispering filth into her ear in person"
I think most of us like the slow build up and anticipation. But I am genuinely interested to know if some women do like that kind of directness. Are we bashing guys for behaving in a way that some women actually like? |
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"I think it's like 10 mins til closing in the pub. They're horny, they haven't pulled yet and any girl will do.
But why message a woman over 100 miles away? Surely if that was the case they'd just grab whoever is nearby and online. "
Quite a few are probably just after a reaction.
I'm intrigued how these people interact in real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. "
This. Some of them are actually unbelievable. Especially after 11pm it just gets worse. Thought it was funny and quite entertaining at first. Just pisses me off now. Some of the men I’ve shown my messages too are actually lost for words and wouldn’t believe me until I showed them! |
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"I don't welcome them.
I've also been told "Well you're on the wrong site if that offends you" on more than one occasion. I must be a prude.
I quite enjoy telling them the kinds of things I WILL do ... but only with those who show me respect, treat me like a person, and I fancy.
I like to picture their face when they realise I could have been their dream meet and they blew it by being a slime.
Princess Prude doesn't have quite the same ring to it does it? They don't know what they're missing out on when they piss you off sweetie I can just imagine those jaws hitting the floor!!
Can you imagine if that was my name? The amount of messages I'd get from those thinking they could "teach me a thing or 2" "
They'd probably all see it as a challenge... Your messages would probably be 100 times worse as they'd be describing in detail how they were going to turn the Prude into a Slut |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. "
I am in complete agreement here... what do guys actually think when sending these kinda messages...
Is it a case of no one will meet me so what the fuck let's send abuse instead...  |
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Master and I tend to receive a fair few messages from men who don't read our profile...and even some of those who do totally ignore a chunk of the contents.
I am an owned, collared, and registered submissive and Dave (my Master) prefers that people who want to chat to me privately ask his permission first. There are so many men who ignore this. It's absolutely unreal how someone can get all the way through our profile, use our keyword that is supposed to signify that they have read it in its entirety, and STILL violate the protocol that we have attempted to make crystal clear. |
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"I think it's like 10 mins til closing in the pub. They're horny, they haven't pulled yet and any girl will do.
But why message a woman over 100 miles away? Surely if that was the case they'd just grab whoever is nearby and online.
Quite a few are probably just after a reaction.
I'm intrigued how these people interact in real life. "
I can give you an exact example of how they behave. I'd had a message of this type from someone before, quite some time ago, and as usual simply ignored it. Many many months later I encountered the individual at a social event, and after a very brief hello was asked if I'd like to slip away from the crowd into the toilets and get pumped full of cum. True story. Classy! |
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"I have asked a few if their approach actually works. I think only one has told me it does; many more have apologised and asked for advice. I don't know what's worse."
Verifications on their profile would lead one to believe that it does work. But obviously not on everyone. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here.
This. Some of them are actually unbelievable. Especially after 11pm it just gets worse. Thought it was funny and quite entertaining at first. Just pisses me off now. Some of the men I’ve shown my messages too are actually lost for words and wouldn’t believe me until I showed them! "
I've done some admin for a couple of fab friends before when they couldn't be bothered in filtering the messages and that was exactly my reaction. Amusing and worth a laugh at first, but quickly became repetitive and downright offensive ..more so were I in their shoes. Fab does seem to be a magnet for the sexually frustrated / desperate end of the male spectrum. |
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"Master and I tend to receive a fair few messages from men who don't read our profile...and even some of those who do totally ignore a chunk of the contents.
I am an owned, collared, and registered submissive and Dave (my Master) prefers that people who want to chat to me privately ask his permission first. There are so many men who ignore this. It's absolutely unreal how someone can get all the way through our profile, use our keyword that is supposed to signify that they have read it in its entirety, and STILL violate the protocol that we have attempted to make crystal clear."
Most don't read profiles, and some that do only skim, and will still take a chance that they might be the exception to the rule. My profile clearly states that I don't meet anymore... In fact it says very little else! But I still get asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Master and I tend to receive a fair few messages from men who don't read our profile...and even some of those who do totally ignore a chunk of the contents.
I am an owned, collared, and registered submissive and Dave (my Master) prefers that people who want to chat to me privately ask his permission first. There are so many men who ignore this. It's absolutely unreal how someone can get all the way through our profile, use our keyword that is supposed to signify that they have read it in its entirety, and STILL violate the protocol that we have attempted to make crystal clear.
Most don't read profiles, and some that do only skim, and will still take a chance that they might be the exception to the rule. My profile clearly states that I don't meet anymore... In fact it says very little else! But I still get asked. "
Mine does too! Hasn’t made a blind bit of difference though. |
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"Most don't read profiles, and some that do only skim, and will still take a chance that they might be the exception to the rule. My profile clearly states that I don't meet anymore... In fact it says very little else! But I still get asked. "
People never cease to amaze me with their idiocy. I fear for the future of humanity, and that is not sarcasm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The thing that really surprises me is that they actually get dates! My take on it has always been that there are a lot of blokes who don’t want to explore their emotions and so trot out a load of half assed low rent declarations of pornographic intent before going home to wank themselves off after a skinful. They treat women like shit because they can get away with their Neanderthal behaviour on here and they don’t care if they upset anyone because basically the women on here appear to conform to their concepts and so they can reinforce their own self images. Why some women go with them is more difficult to figure but I am sure most of us know women who have tragic relationships with horrible men because they “love” each other. Nowt so queer as folk tha knos |
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Also not a lady, (clearly) but I have been shown this kind of a message. I think it’s because some men have yet to figure out the difference between their sexual response and the average woman’s. They send the kind of message they would like to receive, and assume it will be as big a turn in for a woman as it would be for them. So lots of cock shots and juvenile sex chat about “what I’ll do to you” equals the “Here’s me with my legs open, I’m going to suck your cock till you cum on my face”. It’s clear that a large percentage of the guys on here are not actually sexually active, and have never learned how any of this works. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. "
Quite right Tame |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If these men are as d*unk as I was last night, they probably didn't know what they were typing.
These were just this morning's hangover messages... You know the ones.."
Hangover horn? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’d like to apologise to all the women who get these messages on behalf of all the men who don’t send these kind of messages. Men who are polite and friendly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had the delightful "I will destroy her" message!!!!!
How is that a compliment 
Jo.Xx"
Without sounding rude looking at your pics he would have to have Thor’s hammer as a cock to destroy you lol you look like you would destroy him I mean that in a good way please don’t take offence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had the delightful "I will destroy her" message!!!!!
How is that a compliment
Jo.Xx
Without sounding rude looking at your pics he would have to have Thor’s hammer as a cock to destroy you lol you look like you would destroy him I mean that in a good way please don’t take offence "
no offence taken, D laughed and said ‘he’s not wrong!’
 |
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"I think it's like 10 mins til closing in the pub. They're horny, they haven't pulled yet and any girl will do.
But why message a woman over 100 miles away? Surely if that was the case they'd just grab whoever is nearby and online.
Quite a few are probably just after a reaction.
I'm intrigued how these people interact in real life.
I can give you an exact example of how they behave. I'd had a message of this type from someone before, quite some time ago, and as usual simply ignored it. Many many months later I encountered the individual at a social event, and after a very brief hello was asked if I'd like to slip away from the crowd into the toilets and get pumped full of cum. True story. Classy! "
WHAT?  At least he's consistent |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
Well obviously I'm not a woman but I do enjoy wearing women's clothes and trying to act like a lady.
I also receive the same kind of messages and I just assumed it was because I am a Tv and my profile possibly encourages it. Sometimes I play along with it and others depending on my mood I just ignore them. Never have these guys succeeded in meeting me because it's usually late at night and I'm on way to bed. If I do contact them any other time of day I often get ignored.
I also wonder that are they that d*unk they don't realise I'm a Tv as their profile says they're straight.
I do sometimes message women whose profile says they are looking for Tv's and I like to think I'm always polite and respectful. |
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"Moaning about getting messages.
It could be worse. You could get none "
I frequently don't get any, as my filters are set quite high. And no, I never complain that I haven't gotten a message, because just like preferring to have no sex to having bad sex, I also prefer no messages to bad ones. |
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"Well obviously I'm not a woman but I do enjoy wearing women's clothes and trying to act like a lady.
I also receive the same kind of messages and I just assumed it was because I am a Tv and my profile possibly encourages it. Sometimes I play along with it and others depending on my mood I just ignore them. Never have these guys succeeded in meeting me because it's usually late at night and I'm on way to bed. If I do contact them any other time of day I often get ignored.
I also wonder that are they that d*unk they don't realise I'm a Tv as their profile says they're straight.
I do sometimes message women whose profile says they are looking for Tv's and I like to think I'm always polite and respectful. "
Interesting to know you get them too! Always glad of another perspective. |
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I think porn is to blame to a certain extent, but probably how they were dragged up when young.
I am sure they think we are all dolled up and sitting on the bed just waiting for them to call or message at all hours. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Same as everyone above and just to add what is it in the air currently with calling people 'slut'? Have had a fair few calling me a slut or dirty slut in my opening message - I find that highly offensive and tell them so!
Can you imagine it the other way around?
'Hey knobhead, fancy enough oral to blow your socks off followed by a good hard fucking'?!
Sadly I think a lot would ride with it and just reply yes any way!
I think you may be right! However, it's not an experiment I'll put to the test as I'd then have to follow through "
Thats why you have a block button! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive."
I get them sometimes and I know what you mean - you can't help but take it personally and agonise that everyone sees you like that.
These guys use this fairly anonymous way to get a kick out of being in control and living out their vile fantasies. They are not really looking for real meets with real women and just looking for wank fodder.
Just dismiss them as life's underdogs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, I’m not a lady. But I know the sort of messages women receive regularly on here and I can’t understand the mentality of the men who send them, is it laziness, do they honestly think it will work. Even if it did, is that the way you want to introduce yourself. I know it’s a sex site, but people aren’t slabs of meat.
Either they really are that crude and stupid, or they think that’s what women want to hear. Almost makes you be ashamed to be a man, but we’re individuals and they only speak for thereselves.
The total lack of respect is unbelievable.
This isn’t me playing to the gallery, trying to win women over, cause I’ve no need to. But I genuinely think it’s disgusting, it’s not acceptable anywhere else in life, so it shouldn’t be here. "
You win today's Internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's a good question OP. I think many people assume that Swingers fuck anything and anyone. The site is full of sex chat, sex pics and 'adverts' of sex acts available (veris) and that just reinforces the idea.
They try being polite and get no reply. So they they sex chat.
Many people do read profiles. I change mine around to see what different reactions I get. When it says "I don't do fuck n go" I get no mail at all!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think porn is to blame to a certain extent, but probably how they were dragged up when young.
I am sure they think we are all dolled up and sitting on the bed just waiting for them to call or message at all hours."
I’d agree with that. I had a similar conversation with my FB the other day. |
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Someone above used the word respect above and that's the key. When you have something of a relationship (I don't mean in the romantic context) with someone, you can do the 'I'm going to...' talk which is far more appropriate than getting one of those 'I walk into your house, I push you up against the wall etc' type messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Master and I tend to receive a fair few messages from men who don't read our profile...and even some of those who do totally ignore a chunk of the contents.
I am an owned, collared, and registered submissive and Dave (my Master) prefers that people who want to chat to me privately ask his permission first. There are so many men who ignore this. It's absolutely unreal how someone can get all the way through our profile, use our keyword that is supposed to signify that they have read it in its entirety, and STILL violate the protocol that we have attempted to make crystal clear.
Most don't read profiles, and some that do only skim, and will still take a chance that they might be the exception to the rule. My profile clearly states that I don't meet anymore... In fact it says very little else! But I still get asked.
Mine does too! Hasn’t made a blind bit of difference though. "
will you meet me then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest it's getting worse and has actually put me off wanting to have any meets on here at the moment. My profile has been hid for a week I've unhid today but took my looking for off and I can't believe the amount of messages of crap I have. When to refer to them to read my profile. I get called stuck up, vile and ugly. . |
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"I think porn is to blame to a certain extent, but probably how they were dragged up when young.
I am sure they think we are all dolled up and sitting on the bed just waiting for them to call or message at all hours."
Isn't that Babestation?
I think it's only the fantasists who don't actually meet who think that. Any guy who has met a lady (whether born a lady or not) knows she needs time to organise and prep, even just for coffee! |
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"Same as everyone above and just to add what is it in the air currently with calling people 'slut'? Have had a fair few calling me a slut or dirty slut in my opening message - I find that highly offensive and tell them so!
Can you imagine it the other way around?
'Hey knobhead, fancy enough oral to blow your socks off followed by a good hard fucking'?!
Sadly I think a lot would ride with it and just reply yes any way!
I think you may be right! However, it's not an experiment I'll put to the test as I'd then have to follow through
Thats why you have a block button! "
I'm sending that message to my fwb for the craic... |
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"It's a good question OP. I think many people assume that Swingers fuck anything and anyone. The site is full of sex chat, sex pics and 'adverts' of sex acts available (veris) and that just reinforces the idea.
They try being polite and get no reply. So they they sex chat.
Many people do read profiles. I change mine around to see what different reactions I get. When it says "I don't do fuck n go" I get no mail at all!
"
I'd prefer no mail to offensive mail. I've updated my profile yet again today to stress that I'm not meeting, and within minutes got a message from a couple I'd already politely declined asking if I'd meet them if my fwb was allowed to come along.... Ermmm. No. Answer is still no. |
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"I think porn is to blame to a certain extent, but probably how they were dragged up when young.
I am sure they think we are all dolled up and sitting on the bed just waiting for them to call or message at all hours.
I’d agree with that. I had a similar conversation with my FB the other day. "
Again... Only fantasists think this... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive."
The attitude of some is that its a sex site so I can say what I like. Strangely its the same guys who say nobody replies or I can't get anyone to meet me. |
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"Someone above used the word respect above and that's the key. When you have something of a relationship (I don't mean in the romantic context) with someone, you can do the 'I'm going to...' talk which is far more appropriate than getting one of those 'I walk into your house, I push you up against the wall etc' type messages. "
Agreed... I wouldn't think twice about shooting a filthy explicit text to my fwb inviting him over, but I've known him 2.5 years and neither of us are able to meet at the drop of a hat. He'd simply laugh and respond with an equally filthy text to arrange a convenient day and time That's a familiarity borne out of friendship and respect. A random stranger can't expect to get a similar response surely? |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
Read with interest.
I personally would not dream of sending a first message that is not polite, and that I would not say in person.
I also dread sending slightly more tissue messages even after messaging for a while. But then again that's just me. Nice guy, slightly shy. |
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"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive.
The attitude of some is that its a sex site so I can say what I like. Strangely its the same guys who say nobody replies or I can't get anyone to meet me. "
Not always... Some of the guys who message me are well verified. Some will literally only have gotten a new verification the night before or earlier in the day (makes you wonder how bad the meet was if they're on the prowl again straight away). So again I have to ask... Are they having some success with this approach? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a good question OP. I think many people assume that Swingers fuck anything and anyone. The site is full of sex chat, sex pics and 'adverts' of sex acts available (veris) and that just reinforces the idea.
They try being polite and get no reply. So they they sex chat.
Many people do read profiles. I change mine around to see what different reactions I get. When it says "I don't do fuck n go" I get no mail at all!
I'd prefer no mail to offensive mail. I've updated my profile yet again today to stress that I'm not meeting, and within minutes got a message from a couple I'd already politely declined asking if I'd meet them if my fwb was allowed to come along.... Ermmm. No. Answer is still no. "
I delete everything off my 'looking for' list when I'm not looking. It works.  |
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"It's a good question OP. I think many people assume that Swingers fuck anything and anyone. The site is full of sex chat, sex pics and 'adverts' of sex acts available (veris) and that just reinforces the idea.
They try being polite and get no reply. So they they sex chat.
Many people do read profiles. I change mine around to see what different reactions I get. When it says "I don't do fuck n go" I get no mail at all!
I'd prefer no mail to offensive mail. I've updated my profile yet again today to stress that I'm not meeting, and within minutes got a message from a couple I'd already politely declined asking if I'd meet them if my fwb was allowed to come along.... Ermmm. No. Answer is still no.
I delete everything off my 'looking for' list when I'm not looking. It works. "
I've just figured out how to do that... Hopefully it will work for me too |
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Thanks for all the responses both public and private!!
For those who are still wondering... No, I have yet to hear from a woman who admits to enjoying that kind of attention. Does this mean they don't exist or just that they don't visit the forums? *shrugs* maybe that's a question for another day. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
It's pretty simple really..treat people as you would if you were chatting to them in real life.
I firmly believe most of the appalling messages come from guys who really should have had some solo time before being allowed to message anyone. They might as well type with their dick. Desperation isn't sexy, either in person or on here.
This is compounded with the virtual air gap presented online. There is no slap to the face, no comeback. Most of these guys are just one hand typing wannabe pornstars. A lot would crap themselves if told to walk the walk. I reckon a high percentage would actually be a massive disappointment compared to their online persona..
As the old saying goes 'men always dream of a woman with a high sex drive... until they meet one with a higher one than their own'
I was trying to shoehorn in something about them only lasting the 3 mins 24 seconds of their favourite porn clip.. but failed haha |
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"Moaning about getting messages.
It could be worse. You could get none "
I know this person is UNLOS, but I'd rather get none. Intros to bad horror novels, promises of sex that's probably violent enough to warrant medical attention, deranged declarations of devotion, whining, telling me about the babies they're going to give me... oh and the stuff where I have actually dry heaved. It is just bloody awful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Moaning about getting messages.
It could be worse. You could get none
I know this person is UNLOS, but I'd rather get none. Intros to bad horror novels, promises of sex that's probably violent enough to warrant medical attention, deranged declarations of devotion, whining, telling me about the babies they're going to give me... oh and the stuff where I have actually dry heaved. It is just bloody awful. "
I agree and it's pretty much put me off men.
They say that those types of men don't affect it for the genuine ones but I really think they do. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive."
It's a suggestion I make often.
The site provides tools, such as filters and if necessary the complete blocking of incoming messages from folk of all genders who might send crude lewd offensive messages from contacting you .. seems a simple solution to a problem.
In answer to your question.. I can only guess.that some ladies might, Given the statistic that less than 1% of the site post in the forums it's unlikely to give you an accurate picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive."
You have every right to find those sort of messages offensive.
Some women do like them. I do mean some not many. The woman that do like them will state it on their profile. Some women do get turned on by words. The mind is our biggest sexual organ. Turn on the mind as well as the body and the sex is so much better. In the past I have had 2 meets with women just because of my erotic stories. They read my stories I posted in the forum. They then contacted me and said I had good sexual imagination and wanted to meet me.
I like erotic stories and cyber chat. However, I never send my first message as "This is what I would like to do you if we met". It's stupid and pointless to send a cyber message as your first message unless the woman or couple states on her profile they want you to do that. It will probably get you blocked if you send an unsolicited cyber message. I don't initiate sex chat until the other woman or couple asks me to.
On saying that it can be a minefield. I once chatted to a woman on here. We had a polite friendly chat getting to know each other. At the end of the chat she said that she wanted sex chat not a run of the mill chat. Maybe she should of said that at the begihning of the conversation lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always puzzles, amuses & quite often annoys me.
I have no idea what goes through some guys heads when they send messages, it must work occasionaly as some do have veris.
Personally I find it totaly repulsive, and the senders get blocked... But I leave the message marked unread for a few days before blocking & deleting..
Yes.. That's exactly what I mean. Some of these guys are well verified, which leads me to wonder about the people who verified them. Did they get a similar message and like it? Or did the guy send them a totally respectful first message, and if so, why them? Why did my profile invite a message that reads like a porn script? Is it a reflection on me?
I'm in an introspective mood today "
It's not a reflection on you it's a reflection on them. It shows how stupid they are. They must think "If a woman messaged me describing what she would do to me if we met I would be really turned on therefore if I send a woman a message saying what I would like do to her if we met she will get really turned on". They don't think for one minute the woman or couple may be repulsed by thier message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They are only thinking with their dicks when they send crude messages. No respect. "
Agreed. It shows a total lack of respect to the person(s) they are messaging. So does one line messages like I will ruin u, fancy a fuck?, meet now?, etc.
If I was a female on here I would make single guys woo me. I would make them take time getting to know me. If they were not prepared to show me respect and spend time getting to know me they would never get to meet me. If you ladies and couples make single guys spend time getting to know you then you out the disrespectful guys, the one line message idiots, the guys who think you are a free prostitute, they guys looking for another notch on the bedpost, the weirdos, the fantasists, the guys who only want to chat to the female half of the couple, etc. I won't lie. I have had a couple of short notice meets in the past. In general though I have spent weeks or months getting to know women and couples before I have met them.
I know this is a swingers website but was is wrong with wooing the woman or couple? What is wrong in treating people with respect and giving her or the couple good reasons to want to meet you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest it's getting worse and has actually put me off wanting to have any meets on here at the moment. My profile has been hid for a week I've unhid today but took my looking for off and I can't believe the amount of messages of crap I have. When to refer to them to read my profile. I get called stuck up, vile and ugly. . "
Women are always fat and ugly after they reject somebody. It's amazing how you are not fat or ugly before you reject them. Kids spitting thier dummy out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive.
The attitude of some is that its a sex site so I can say what I like. Strangely its the same guys who say nobody replies or I can't get anyone to meet me.
Not always... Some of the guys who message me are well verified. Some will literally only have gotten a new verification the night before or earlier in the day (makes you wonder how bad the meet was if they're on the prowl again straight away). So again I have to ask... Are they having some success with this approach? "
They must be having some sucess or surely they would stop doing it? Then again this is fab and the single guy. They probably are not getting any sucess but carry on sending cyber messages in the hope one day it will work for them.
It's the same with the wanna fuck? single line type messages. It must work sometimes or why do guys send them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the responses both public and private!!
For those who are still wondering... No, I have yet to hear from a woman who admits to enjoying that kind of attention. Does this mean they don't exist or just that they don't visit the forums? *shrugs* maybe that's a question for another day. "
The women do exist. I don't know about women who like a cyber message as the first message. Over the years I have chatted to a few women who liked me to write stories about what we got up to if we met. However, on saying that I have gotten to know the women or couples before any cyber chat got started. It has always been the women who have asked me to write something. It was never unsolicited. |
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"If the message is from at least an 8/10 then ill reply and probably fuck them.
Im here to fuck filthy men not have my pants charmed off."
Thank you! Finally a response from someone who enjoys these messages. What if they're not an 8/10 though... Do you still enjoy the attention or does it make your skin crawl? Interested to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the message is from at least an 8/10 then ill reply and probably fuck them.
Im here to fuck filthy men not have my pants charmed off.
Thank you! Finally a response from someone who enjoys these messages. What if they're not an 8/10 though... Do you still enjoy the attention or does it make your skin crawl? Interested to know. "
Honestly i like the attention. But i wouldn't shag them if i didnt think they were attractive. But i welcome all compliments. Evem if they come wrapped in sleaze |
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I wouldn't mind some of the more benign ones if I knew it weren't just wank chat, and I had some way of measuring respect/ safety. At least at first, politeness (including respecting my wishes/ reading my profile) is all I've got to go on. |
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"Thanks for all the responses both public and private!!
For those who are still wondering... No, I have yet to hear from a woman who admits to enjoying that kind of attention. Does this mean they don't exist or just that they don't visit the forums? *shrugs* maybe that's a question for another day.
The women do exist. I don't know about women who like a cyber message as the first message. Over the years I have chatted to a few women who liked me to write stories about what we got up to if we met. However, on saying that I have gotten to know the women or couples before any cyber chat got started. It has always been the women who have asked me to write something. It was never unsolicited. "
Yes but that's my point. You'd already established a conversation and rapport at that point. You didn't just mail someone blindly saying 'hi. I really want to lick your pussy and make you cum for hours until I feel your juices run down my chin' (a fairly typical example of the type of message I refer to). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having read the fairly typical weekend contents of my inbox this morning (my stomach heaved a couple of times), I'm puzzled yet again by how any guy would think that I'd be charmed and beguiled by an introductory message that can only be described as the literary version of some random unseen guy grabbing me from behind in a pub and wheezing his filthiest intentions into my ear while slobbering kisses down the side of my face.
Given that the guys in question seem to think these messages will be welcomed, I have to wonder... Are there women who genuinely like these kind of messages? Honestly.. I'm interested to know, as I've been told many times by guys that I'm being unreasonable for finding messages like that offensive."
This is my first post since coming back. Be gentle with me. I have been on fab before and now i am back again.
I love guys describing what they would do with me if we met. It’s a massive turn on if done right.
That does NOT mean i want guys sending me a first message describing what they would do to me if we met. I state on my profile I don't want guys doing that. Anyone who sends me a sex message as the first message will be blocked. Simple as. If they don't know me it means they don't know what i do and don't like sex wise. That means if they send me a sex message as the first message it may contain stuff I am not into. They may turn me right off. As an example one guy/idiot once sent me a sex massage as his first message. I was enjoying it until in part of the message he stated how he would fuck me up the bum. I am not into anal sex. His message turned my stomach.
If the guy spends time getting to know me and find out what turns me on and off i am very happy for them to write about what they would do with me if we met. I get very turned on by it sometimes. The reason i say sometimes is some guys have no sexual imagination. What they write about is very boring and very predictable. If a guy can turn me on with his words he is extremely close to getting to meet me. I want to meet guys with good sexual imagination. I want guys who can turn me on with there words and get me wanting to meet them. I don’t want boring ordinary sex. Asking guys to describe what they would do to me if we met is my way of (hopefully ) meeting guys who are going to turn me on in bed and take me to places i have never been to before sexually. A well written sex message/story really turns me on. As I read the story i imagine doing all the things the guys written about and i get very wet. If they guys story is boring and doesn’t get me wet we are never going to meet. I also like sexy text messages as a build up to a meet. Just silly things like i can’t wait to kiss your sexy lips later on tonight or I can’t wait to taste your sweet pussy or i can’t wait to feel your wet pussy around my cock. Last time I was on here a guy used to write lots of sex stories for me. He also posted them in the stories and fantasies part of the forum. I was a very naughty but happy woman in the stories he wrote. He has really great sexual imagination. His stories always turned me on massively. The reason his stories got me turned on was he spent time getting to know me as person. He took time finding out my sexual likes and dislikes. He only wrote about stuff he knew i would like and he never wrote about sexual stuff i don’t like. Since i rejoined fab i have not been able to find him again mores the pity. I don’t know if he has left or changed his username. He is a great sexual story teller. He has excellent sexual imagination. I want to meet guys with good sexual imagination who are willing to try new things.
Guys if you want to meet me turn me on with your words. Before you do that get to know me first. I love the block button.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thetiggler if you are still on here message me. Does anybody know him? He often talked about his tiggler in the forums. A tiggler is a vibrating tongue piercing. |
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"Lol have I have become the new thread killer?"
I think it just ran its course. I had asked if there were any women who enjoy getting those kind of first messages from guys, and Biscotti responded that she did. Simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol have I have become the new thread killer?
I think it just ran its course. I had asked if there were any women who enjoy getting those kind of first messages from guys, and Biscotti responded that she did. Simples "
Fair enough. |
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