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Swinging, dating and newborn babies

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Earlier in the year I was chatting to a very sexy woman on a dating app when I discovered she had a baby. I asked how old and she said something like 4 weeks

The mind boggles that someone would want to date in the throes of nurturing new born life. I was recently talking to someone on here when they mentioned a similar situation had happened to them with a swinger. Is this something you've come across? What are your opinions on this?

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By *horecruxCouple  over a year ago

SE4

Maybe she was just searching for a connection other than sexually ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People need human adult contact after having a baby.

She isn't a bad mother for wanting that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do you think it was the same person?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do you think it was the same person? "

Not unless they had a gender change very quickly and fucked off leaving someone else to look after the baby whilst they fucked around

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think it was the same person?

Not unless they had a gender change very quickly and fucked off leaving someone else to look after the baby whilst they fucked around "

Phew!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it."

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By *ngelina4uWoman  over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton


"Earlier in the year I was chatting to a very sexy woman on a dating app when I discovered she had a baby. I asked how old and she said something like 4 weeks

The mind boggles that someone would want to date in the throes of nurturing new born life. I was recently talking to someone on here when they mentioned a similar situation had happened to them with a swinger. Is this something you've come across? What are your opinions on this? "

Some people are very lonely and some crave physical affection and having someone round. Personally with a 4 week old baby I thin kit should be the baby someone focuses on but there can be other issues in play including depression so if it helps someone then let them go for it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it."

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

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By *greygorCouple  over a year ago

birmingham


"Earlier in the year I was chatting to a very sexy woman on a dating app when I discovered she had a baby. I asked how old and she said something like 4 weeks

The mind boggles that someone would want to date in the throes of nurturing new born life. I was recently talking to someone on here when they mentioned a similar situation had happened to them with a swinger. Is this something you've come across? What are your opinions on this?

Some people are very lonely and some crave physical affection and having someone round. Personally with a 4 week old baby I thin kit should be the baby someone focuses on but there can be other issues in play including depression so if it helps someone then let them go for it. "

long as you keep one leg free to rock the cradle in sync with the stoke rate .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born? "

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends"

Is there no situation where you want it now and immediately?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends

Is there no situation where you want it now and immediately? "

Wouldn’t know, every time I’ve been pregnant I’ve miscarried so the last thing on my mind was sex. And on one occasion I had surgery so couldn’t have sex anyway so even if I wanted sex I wouldn’t have been having it. I’m sure there’s plenty of women who want sex asap

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"long as you keep one leg free to rock the cradle in sync with the stoke rate ."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends

Is there no situation where you want it now and immediately?

Wouldn’t know, every time I’ve been pregnant I’ve miscarried so the last thing on my mind was sex. And on one occasion I had surgery so couldn’t have sex anyway so even if I wanted sex I wouldn’t have been having it. I’m sure there’s plenty of women who want sex asap"

Sorry to hear.. I hope you have 20 kids

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By *iss SJWoman  over a year ago

Hull

Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now "

How long does it take for the hormones to settle down?

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By *horecruxCouple  over a year ago

SE4


"Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now

How long does it take for the hormones to settle down? "

They settle down ???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now

How long does it take for the hormones to settle down?

They settle down ??? "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now

How long does it take for the hormones to settle down?

They settle down ??? "

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By *emini ManMan  over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Based on the information provided OP I don't see anything wrong with it if she felt ready to take that step and start interacting with others with a view to dating - just because she was talking on-line doesn't necessarily mean she was looking to meet straight away for example.

If she was anything like me on here it could be weeks or months before she was ready to take that step by which time babysitters would be an option.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sounds a bit too judgey to me OP

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lifes life she has a baby i have a ps4 same difference

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Swingers that judge eh?

Who'd have thought?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds a bit too judgey to me OP"

Of course, that judgement of you is me being judgey too I guess...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now "

Exactly that, it’s just talking online. It’s not lije she’s offering sex that day x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds a bit too judgey to me OP

Of course, that judgement of you is me being judgey too I guess... "

Are you talking to yourself again Peter?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds a bit too judgey to me OP"

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By *horecruxCouple  over a year ago

SE4


"Lifes life she has a baby i have a ps4 same difference"

Ps4 is a bigger responsibility if you ask me

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Isn't it possible to nurture newborn life and date?

Personally four weeks post natal I didn't have the time or inclination to do anything other than survive the day but I don't think a woman is wrong for being different to me. There's huge pressure applied to new mothers to conform to some ideal that just isn't possible to live up to and massive judgement applied if they don't reach this standard.

Maybe the lady in question had a co-patent who could nurture the new life while she was off duty

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Co-parent

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds a bit too judgey to me OP"

As per usual

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born? "

It used to be six weeks

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends

Is there no situation where you want it now and immediately? "

In the weeks after you've had a baby the only thing you want now and immediately is sleep and food in that order.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Maybe she feels shit and knackered and unattractive and just wants some interaction, on line only, that makes her feel a bit better? Her hormones must be all over the place right now

How long does it take for the hormones to settle down? "

75 years, possibly longer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends

Is there no situation where you want it now and immediately?

In the weeks after you've had a baby the only thing you want now and immediately is sleep and food in that order."

I also wanted a glass of red wine... but couldn’t handle it. I wanted sex from around 4 weeks but I had a Caesarian, not sure if this makes a difference.

She’s got all the nesting hormones, a society that still kinda judges single mums and time with her phone. A dating app is likely more fun than netmums.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born?

Depends on your situation really. Sometimes you cannot because of medical reasons, sometimes you just do not want it, just depends

Is there no situation where you want it now and immediately?

In the weeks after you've had a baby the only thing you want now and immediately is sleep and food in that order."

I always felt ok after having my babies, except that feeling of your insides dropping out.

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Based on the information provided OP I don't see anything wrong with it if she felt ready to take that step and start interacting with others with a view to dating - just because she was talking on-line doesn't necessarily mean she was looking to meet straight away for example.

If she was anything like me on here it could be weeks or months before she was ready to take that step by which time babysitters would be an option."

Agree with this. The OP said it was a dating app, not that the woman was looking to bust her stitches with a DP spit roast.

And if she wants to meet, so what? Her choice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'll go with the maybe she was just up for chatting and hoping to feel sexy again to someone, if her partner wasn't around.

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close "

Think you are surmising a lot (as per usual)...how do you know she was "inviting people in".. and if she was how do you know the baby would be home? Or that the meet would be at home....Reading between the lines you were disappointed this "very sexy lady" had the cheek to have a baby....how very dare she.

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By *londie8399Couple  over a year ago

blackpool

me personally 4 weeks after didn't feel sexy to have sex with my partner never mind a stranger each to there own I don't judge other people's situations

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close

Think you are surmising a lot (as per usual)...how do you know she was "inviting people in".. and if she was how do you know the baby would be home? Or that the meet would be at home....Reading between the lines you were disappointed this "very sexy lady" had the cheek to have a baby....how very dare she.

"

She told me. I was concerned for her. Thankfully she decided to quit the dating apps and travel back to her home country to get the support of her mum. She was in a very vulnerable situation.

As for your last comment, I'm a single dad. So that kind of thinking is utterly foreign to me. But I'm getting used to people on the forums imagining I'm an awful person

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London


"But I'm getting used to people on the forums imagining I'm an awful person "

Top tip: if you don't want people to think you're awful, don't say things like

'The mind boggles that someone would want to date in the throes of nurturing new born life'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Being a new mum can be a lonely time more so of your own! I mean we were a couple, but it was mainly me (Mrs) up all night feeding or during the day if baby slept I slept, it's tough. Maybe she was feeling lonely and just wanted to talk to people! Or maybe she felt confident and a ale enough to begin to have sexual relations again, that's up to her not you.

A fully grown woman is capable of making choices regarding her relationships and sexuality! Makes no difference if you agree with it or not.

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close

Think you are surmising a lot (as per usual)...how do you know she was "inviting people in".. and if she was how do you know the baby would be home? Or that the meet would be at home....Reading between the lines you were disappointed this "very sexy lady" had the cheek to have a baby....how very dare she.

She told me. I was concerned for her. Thankfully she decided to quit the dating apps and travel back to her home country to get the support of her mum. She was in a very vulnerable situation.

As for your last comment, I'm a single dad. So that kind of thinking is utterly foreign to me. But I'm getting used to people on the forums imagining I'm an awful person "

I don't think you are an awful person,you're entitled to your opinions. I do think you have some very odd ideas about life in general and women in particular.

That's my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH. "

Fair enough. I just felt it was inappropriate for her to be bringing strange men back to her home at such a vulnerable stage. But I guess I can see that maybe that's me being over protective.

I suspect that if I'd led this thread with the story of the swinging guy who was looking to fuck other women in the first week of his child's birth the response may have been different. But perhaps not. Perhaps the whole thing is ok. Perhaps it's just me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH.

Fair enough. I just felt it was inappropriate for her to be bringing strange men back to her home at such a vulnerable stage. But I guess I can see that maybe that's me being over protective.

I suspect that if I'd led this thread with the story of the swinging guy who was looking to fuck other women in the first week of his child's birth the response may have been different. But perhaps not. Perhaps the whole thing is ok. Perhaps it's just me "

You have assumed she meets with the baby in the house.

Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she cams, or just chats.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH.

Fair enough. I just felt it was inappropriate for her to be bringing strange men back to her home at such a vulnerable stage. But I guess I can see that maybe that's me being over protective.

I suspect that if I'd led this thread with the story of the swinging guy who was looking to fuck other women in the first week of his child's birth the response may have been different. But perhaps not. Perhaps the whole thing is ok. Perhaps it's just me

You have assumed she meets with the baby in the house.

Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she cams, or just chats."

As I said earlier, she told me she did.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH.

Fair enough. I just felt it was inappropriate for her to be bringing strange men back to her home at such a vulnerable stage. But I guess I can see that maybe that's me being over protective.

I suspect that if I'd led this thread with the story of the swinging guy who was looking to fuck other women in the first week of his child's birth the response may have been different. But perhaps not. Perhaps the whole thing is ok. Perhaps it's just me

You have assumed she meets with the baby in the house.

Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she cams, or just chats.

As I said earlier, she told me she did. "

But you didn't mention that in your original thread. You said "dating" which to me isn't the same thing as inviting men back with your newborn in the house.

You can't get defensive about things when people are commenting in the context of your original post. You also used emotive language in your first post which rightly or wrongly implied that you thought she should have been nurturing her newborn rather than chatting to a guy about dating.

From your later posts, which give quite a different impression of the situation I would say the woman was vulnerable.

Why didn't you give the whole story originally?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH.

Fair enough. I just felt it was inappropriate for her to be bringing strange men back to her home at such a vulnerable stage. But I guess I can see that maybe that's me being over protective.

I suspect that if I'd led this thread with the story of the swinging guy who was looking to fuck other women in the first week of his child's birth the response may have been different. But perhaps not. Perhaps the whole thing is ok. Perhaps it's just me "

That’s probably because the guy would be doing it behind his wife’s back.

If she gave him permission to do so, he is also equally entitled.

We are all adults here and I doubt she needs looking after or being “protected” by a stranger in the net.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"OP, weren’t you the same person who posted a thread about some women on dating apps judging you for being a single dad and not wanting to get involved with a man with kids?

This isn’t any different really is it?

She may have been on the dating apps before she gave birth and even before she was pregnant. She may be lonely, she may just be browsing, she is entitled to at the end of the day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, she may go into a supermarket or a restaurant and meet a guy that way too. Don’t think there’s is much wrong with it TBH.

Fair enough. I just felt it was inappropriate for her to be bringing strange men back to her home at such a vulnerable stage. But I guess I can see that maybe that's me being over protective.

I suspect that if I'd led this thread with the story of the swinging guy who was looking to fuck other women in the first week of his child's birth the response may have been different. But perhaps not. Perhaps the whole thing is ok. Perhaps it's just me "

Because it's a different situation.

I say again you said dating not fucking. The two aren't the same. You did later qualify your remarks but we can only comment on what you write.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn"

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it "

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

"

Ha ha ha. It's a messy business to be sure.

Mr N went to buy me some and the woman in the chemist was hugely embarrassed because a man was asking. Time to be more open about these things.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

"

Oh my god hahaha!

No children planned for me for a while!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

Oh my god hahaha!

No children planned for me for a while! "

Its fine. The first 25 years are the worst...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

"

I had to have a D&C and had to wear those towels. Awful

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

"

These are never discussed when cuddling someone's new born baby. It's uuuurgh.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

I had to have a D&C and had to wear those towels. Awful "

Aren't they

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You can't get defensive about things when people are commenting in the context of your original post. You also used emotive language in your first post which rightly or wrongly implied that you thought she should have been nurturing her newborn rather than chatting to a guy about dating.

From your later posts, which give quite a different impression of the situation I would say the woman was vulnerable.

Why didn't you give the whole story originally?"

You're right Nice. I did balls this thread up. I didn't convey the situation fully. I apologise if I snapped at people who merely responded to the op. I've been on the opposite side of that before. So I understand that you can only react to what you've been told.

My op was a little too guarded because I didn't want to give too much info out. I can see how, if a woman has support of family friends child minders etc she could be perfectly capable of carry on her life in whatever way she wanted despite having a newborn. This situation wasn't like that and I was concerned for her.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

"

And the stitches!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"You can't get defensive about things when people are commenting in the context of your original post. You also used emotive language in your first post which rightly or wrongly implied that you thought she should have been nurturing her newborn rather than chatting to a guy about dating.

From your later posts, which give quite a different impression of the situation I would say the woman was vulnerable.

Why didn't you give the whole story originally?

You're right Nice. I did balls this thread up. I didn't convey the situation fully. I apologise if I snapped at people who merely responded to the op. I've been on the opposite side of that before. So I understand that you can only react to what you've been told.

My op was a little too guarded because I didn't want to give too much info out. I can see how, if a woman has support of family friends child minders etc she could be perfectly capable of carry on her life in whatever way she wanted despite having a newborn. This situation wasn't like that and I was concerned for her. "

And that reflects well on you.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

And the stitches! "

And having to dry yourself with a hairdryer everytime you showered

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

These are never discussed when cuddling someone's new born baby. It's uuuurgh. "

"Awww he/she is so cute, by the way how's the chopped liver?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I admire any woman who has the time and the energy to even consider any sort of dating, flirting, sexual activity when they have a new born baby. It was the furthest thing away from my mind when mine were newborn

Me too. Apart from leaking from every known orifice and a few hitherto unknown, not fitting into anything remotely attractive, hair a lank mess and wearing giant maternity sanitary towels I just didn't feel like it

The towels are the thing they never tell you about! That and the chopped liver dropping out of you for weeks.

And the stitches!

And having to dry yourself with a hairdryer everytime you showered "

Or the getting up at 5am for a salt-water bath before the baby wakes!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Anyway op, sorry to hijack. Back on topic, I think that many of us have a sneaking admiration for anyone able to consider dating four weeks after giving birth but I think you were right to be concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don’t women bleed for several weeks after giving birth? The mother of my kids did for both of ours so sex was pretty much out of the question.

And personally any man who pesters his wife for sex soon after birth ought to be ashamed of himself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Anyway op, sorry to hijack. Back on topic, I think that many of us have a sneaking admiration for anyone able to consider dating four weeks after giving birth but I think you were right to be concerned."

It's ok. I'm quite happy for the thread to wander wherever it wants to go or alternatively slip quietly off into Fab valhalla. But thanks for what you've said

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By *ust PeachyWoman  over a year ago

Prestonish


"I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close "

You never said she was inviting strange men into her home - unless I missed that bit?

I thought she was just chatting to people on a dating app?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close

You never said she was inviting strange men into her home - unless I missed that bit?

I thought she was just chatting to people on a dating app? "

He clarified later.

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By *ust PeachyWoman  over a year ago

Prestonish


"I felt a bit concerned for her and her vulnerable newborn baby, inviting strange men into her home. In terms of the other story I heard, it seemed highly inappropriate for a man to be seeking to fuck other women in the week after his wife gave birth. But there you go. That's just little ole judgemental me. You guys are clearly fine with it so I'll slate that up to another difference between us. Not into double figures yet. But getting close

You never said she was inviting strange men into her home - unless I missed that bit?

I thought she was just chatting to people on a dating app?

He clarified later."

Ah I see! Must admit I don’t invite strange men into my home even now! Guys are only invited after I’ve known them a while - and then only when the kids are away!

It’s easy for me to moralise though - generally speaking I’m child free every other weekend! X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can't even begin to comprehend it. Perhaps it's not her first child.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men pester their wives for sex the week after she gives birth. God help any woman that wants it.

How long should you not have sex after a new born? "

20 years.

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