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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? |
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
Have you been turned down again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
Yes. What else would it be?
Even swingers get jealous and/ or cheat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
Hey jealousy in relationships is the major factor here in communication breakdowns and the cause of couples in this life breaking up, jealousy is a very common factor in much of this lifestyle and everyone has that emotion
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
That's insecurity, not jealousy. |
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
Nah, it's 'cos I'm a greedy attention whore and I want ALL their attention, ALL the time!   |
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
why not just ask the hubby  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
On fab? Or in day to day life?
And I wouldn’t say that’s jealously, I’d say that was someone being insecure.
I’d hate to feel that way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
Nah, it's 'cos I'm a greedy attention whore and I want ALL their attention, ALL the time! "
This is me   |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
i wouln't say that's the definitive cause of jealousy in swinging but I am sure it is with a lot of people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
Nah, it's 'cos I'm a greedy attention whore and I want ALL their attention, ALL the time!
This is me "
Sounds a bit too full on for a swingers lifestyle |
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"I thought swingers didn't get jealous
Oh, they do. "
It's not an emotion I possess.
I do have insecurities, left over from years of a traumatic relationship, but jealousy is most definitely not one of them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
On fab? Or in day to day life?
And I wouldn’t say that’s jealously, I’d say that was someone being insecure.
I’d hate to feel that way"
I am only talking about myself here but if I didn't feel like that it would mean that person didn't mean anything to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get jealous on fab. I have one close female fab friend, and if one of us is interested in someone that the other thinks is cute or whatever, instead of jealousy coming into it we just congratulate each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
On fab? Or in day to day life?
And I wouldn’t say that’s jealously, I’d say that was someone being insecure.
I’d hate to feel that way
I am only talking about myself here but if I didn't feel like that it would mean that person didn't mean anything to me "
Oh I adore my husband and of course I never want to lose him - but I also know that he feels the same way about me. I’m insecure in other ways, but when it comes to my partner, not at all.
But I’m unsure if this OP is meaning in swinging terms, marriage, vanilla relationships etc |
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It's tough.
When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.
I'm confident in who I am, what I believe in and that overall I'm a good person, however I do have insecurities yes, it can lead to a touch of jealousy. Not the kind of jealousy you may think though, it's more of a "wish I was there to share this with you" than "I don't want you to have that"
Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.
I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"
We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's tough.
When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.
I'm confident in who I am, what I believe in and that overall I'm a good person, however I do have insecurities yes, it can lead to a touch of jealousy. Not the kind of jealousy you may think though, it's more of a "wish I was there to share this with you" than "I don't want you to have that"
Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.
I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"
We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum."
 \\ // |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's tough.
When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.
I'm confident in who I am, what I believe in and that overall I'm a good person, however I do have insecurities yes, it can lead to a touch of jealousy. Not the kind of jealousy you may think though, it's more of a "wish I was there to share this with you" than "I don't want you to have that"
Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.
I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"
We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum."
Oh Peach  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess I wonder if jealousy is rooted in insecurity or if it's something more positive than that, like the guy earlier who said if he wasn't a bit jealous it would mean he didn't care.
The thread was provoked by a moment earlier where a gorgeous woman walked into the cafe with a err not so gorgeous guy. Her and I met eyes and smiled. Then I looked over to him and got a stiff glare back and he positioned himself so that his back was to me and I couldn't see his Mrs. I just thought all that came from the stance of seeing me as a threat and wondered if this was a common thing for not so sexy partners of very sexy people |
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"It's tough.
When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.
I'm confident in who I am, what I believe in and that overall I'm a good person, however I do have insecurities yes, it can lead to a touch of jealousy. Not the kind of jealousy you may think though, it's more of a "wish I was there to share this with you" than "I don't want you to have that"
Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.
I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"
We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum.
Oh Peach "
Is what it is ain't it. I'm sure one day I'll be right in the noggin, but until that point I'll always be praying "please don't look at them with the same eye twinkle"
I need the eye twinkle to be the thing that's reserved for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course  )
But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.
These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.
Plenty more fish in the sea and all that |
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"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course )
But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.
These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.
Plenty more fish in the sea and all that "
Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course )
But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.
These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.
Plenty more fish in the sea and all that
Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.
"
You remind me of me so much sometimes! |
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"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course )
But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.
These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.
Plenty more fish in the sea and all that
Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.
You remind me of me so much sometimes! "
You're a fucked up awesome twat too?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course )
But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.
These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.
Plenty more fish in the sea and all that
Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.
You remind me of me so much sometimes!
You're a fucked up awesome twat too? "
I’ll take the awesome for now. I’m working on the rest though  |
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"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course )
But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.
These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.
Plenty more fish in the sea and all that
Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.
You remind me of me so much sometimes!
You're a fucked up awesome twat too?
I’ll take the awesome for now. I’m working on the rest though "
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"I guess I wonder if jealousy is rooted in insecurity or if it's something more positive than that, like the guy earlier who said if he wasn't a bit jealous it would mean he didn't care.
The thread was provoked by a moment earlier where a gorgeous woman walked into the cafe with a err not so gorgeous guy. Her and I met eyes and smiled. Then I looked over to him and got a stiff glare back and he positioned himself so that his back was to me and I couldn't see his Mrs. I just thought all that came from the stance of seeing me as a threat and wondered if this was a common thing for not so sexy partners of very sexy people "
Yes, but she may have been a full blown histrionic (who, to feed their disorder are obsessed with their own looks and gaining approval) and torment him throwing herself at everyone who so much as smiles at her, making a naturally totally secure guy twitchy as hell. I know a couple just like that, he is kept on edge, but not without due cause.
I've had relationships with totally gorgeous men and never had a jealous thought with any because no-one ever gave me cause to - I knew they were smitten and faithful and I never even had to think about it.
I happen to like the obsessive, possessive, scorpio types - but I would never give them a moment's cause for concern either, I don't even look at other men when I am with someone.
It's quite natural to some people to be possessive and not want to share IMO - to be honest I think the swinging mentality is the unusual one. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
That's insecurity, not jealousy. "
This and if you are in anyway insecure, then swinging is not a good thing. IMO you have to have a very strong relationship to swing |
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
That's insecurity, not jealousy. "
Are people confusing the two? |
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
I can only say how or why jealousy manifests itself with me.
Basically with me, yes it is due to self-esteem and worrying that whomever I'm with will realise exactly how much of a fuck up I am, how vanilla I am, how boring I am. If they find someone who I think is closer to their needs, I worry that they will forget about me.
I'm getting better (although I think it's due to better communication between us (I'm talking about one specific fwb) and the fact that I've found a number of guys that can hold a conversation so I'm not just focused on him). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess I wonder if jealousy is rooted in insecurity or if it's something more positive than that, like the guy earlier who said if he wasn't a bit jealous it would mean he didn't care.
The thread was provoked by a moment earlier where a gorgeous woman walked into the cafe with a err not so gorgeous guy. Her and I met eyes and smiled. Then I looked over to him and got a stiff glare back and he positioned himself so that his back was to me and I couldn't see his Mrs. I just thought all that came from the stance of seeing me as a threat and wondered if this was a common thing for not so sexy partners of very sexy people
Yes, but she may have been a full blown histrionic (who, to feed their disorder are obsessed with their own looks and gaining approval) and torment him throwing herself at everyone who so much as smiles at her, making a naturally totally secure guy twitchy as hell. I know a couple just like that, he is kept on edge, but not without due cause.
I've had relationships with totally gorgeous men and never had a jealous thought with any because no-one ever gave me cause to - I knew they were smitten and faithful and I never even had to think about it.
I happen to like the obsessive, possessive, scorpio types - but I would never give them a moment's cause for concern either, I don't even look at other men when I am with someone.
It's quite natural to some people to be possessive and not want to share IMO - to be honest I think the swinging mentality is the unusual one."
Good points frisky I hadn't thought of that. But now I think of it you're absolutely right. I suspect a lot of people with jealous partners have played at least a bit of a role in stoking that jealousy |
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I'm not the jealous type in real life, and definitely not on here.
I've come across at least three on Fab here who have become needy and jealous.
I've tried to manage their expectations each time, but have ended up drawing a line under my meets with them as I don't need the mind games or the histrionics.
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
It's also worth reading up on Narcisstic Behaviour, it makes interesting if uncomfortable reading. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I thought swingers didn't get jealous
Don't be fooled, many do. It's very common to see when searching for a couple to play with."
Personally, having swung with my ex and felt no jealousy whatsoever, I'd actually quite like to be a little jealous if I did it again with someone. I think it would make it a bit kinkier and I'd feel a bit more like I was reacting normally. Having no jealousy was odd  |
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We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.
I don't get jelous when she flirts.
The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.
That's only because I have no one to flirt with |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I dont think I would be great swinging with someone I was in love with. Maybe a fwb would be fine as I wouldn't have that emotional bond but even then Im not sure as Ive never tried. Secondly if any guy has anything left in them for another women as well...step forward |
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"We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.
I don't get jelous when she flirts.
The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.
That's only because I have no one to flirt with "
This really touched me... |
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"We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.
I don't get jelous when she flirts.
The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.
That's only because I have no one to flirt with
This really touched me... "
Ha ha ha. Awww thanks |
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"We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.
I don't get jelous when she flirts.
The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.
That's only because I have no one to flirt with
This really touched me...
Ha ha ha. Awww thanks "
Oh no wait that's just me looking at the wife's pics |
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"I thought swingers didn't get jealous
Don't be fooled, many do. It's very common to see when searching for a couple to play with.
Personally, having swung with my ex and felt no jealousy whatsoever, I'd actually quite like to be a little jealous if I did it again with someone. I think it would make it a bit kinkier and I'd feel a bit more like I was reacting normally. Having no jealousy was odd "
Someone experiencing jealous pangs is understandable.
Someone agreeing on a lifestyle then becoming jealous and using that jealousy as a weapon to berate and try to control their partner isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think jealousy is borne of feeling insecure on a relationship. The only time I was jealous it was an already unsatisfactory relationship and it turned out I was correct to be.
I haven’t ever swung with anyone I really loved though, so I’ve never put my view of my own sexual security to the test. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
Yes. What else would it be?
Even swingers get jealous and/ or cheat."
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
No but you wouldn't like the proper answer since it involves evolutionary psychology. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?
No but you wouldn't like the proper answer since it involves evolutionary psychology. "
I don't like any answers that masquerade as "the proper answer" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A swinging partner I had was ok having MMF but when we swapped with a couple she wasn’t happy how I kissed the other lady. She said I was too into kissing the other lady concerned and said she wouldn’t see me again and we haven’t spoken since. |
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