FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Time to be more grown up about sexuality?
Time to be more grown up about sexuality?
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I mean, bi women are fetished a lot on here which is why I don't meet couples (yes... yes I do have a veri from a couple but it was the male half I met!) as I don't like threesomes. After I split up from a longterm girl I was immediately ignored by all our mutual LGBT friends, and I feel like I've somewhat lost of bisexual identity as it's been a long time since I've been with a woman. However, I am completely out and open about my sexuality. | |||
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"I had a colleague who is openly bi who gets told that she's greedy and just needs to choose one or the other. She's single and hasn't had a partner for a while. I know her friends are only joking, but it used to really annoy me. Even if she ended up with a bloke, she still fancies women so is bi." I love the greedy label! Like your friend I'm single and, and I've been celibate for well over a year now. I might mockingly call myself greedy but no one in my life does. | |||
"I had a colleague who is openly bi who gets told that she's greedy and just needs to choose one or the other. She's single and hasn't had a partner for a while. I know her friends are only joking, but it used to really annoy me. Even if she ended up with a bloke, she still fancies women so is bi." It makes you feel so special, having blokes turn you down as well as women  | |||
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"The one man / one woman thing is so entrenched in our culture and beliefs, we don't recognise it until it slaps us in the face I was at an engagement party at the weekend. The party was for two young girls. Both their extended families were there along with a good number of their peers and friends. It really was an exercise in acceptance, it was lovely. There were kids there too One little girl, I'd say she was 4 maybe 5 could simply not get her head round two girls were going to get married So, where does that start ? Are we born this way ? Do we learn it through our peers / schooling Or, do we sub consciously impose gender & sexuality on our children from such an early age that by 4 or 5, they have already associated men with women in the sexual / relationship sense ?" both nature and nurture... how much kids tv, adverts and the media show same sex couples or bisexual ones as "normal"? it all reinforces stereotypes. Also many origins in parenting, religion, family and friends. Words are so powerful. we should be more careful how they're used. | |||
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"I've never personally suffered any ill feeling or nastiness (apart from the very occasional comment on here, but even then it's rare) as a result of my bisexuality but that is probably because I'm not "out" in the real world (not out of any kind of shame or fear just it's never had cause to be revealed). Having said all that though it does seem that bisexuality is another barrier to be broken down just as the gay one was a good few years ago. The trouble is the barrier needs to be broken down on two sides of the fence not just one so is possibly harder to remove. In *this* life though probably the biggest barrier is clubs where male bisexuality is frowned on on any night apart from specified Bi Nights yet female bisexuality is encouraged and almost expected, and if a specific sexuality can't be accepted by a supoosedly liberated community I fear the barrier may be a tough one to break down." I completely agree. From what I see, it's due to an ingrained view by men that being with other men is wrong. I identify as straight. My fwb is convinced that I'm bi. I have no issue playing with other women as part of a threesome, but I'm unlikely to play with one alone. If we ever get round to couple swapping, I would play with the bloke even if I wasn't attracted to him (again, I would be unlikely to play with him alone). However he is adamant that if we ever get round to a mmf he would not be touching the other m! But is ok with a strap on being used on him  | |||
"I've never personally suffered any ill feeling or nastiness (apart from the very occasional comment on here, but even then it's rare) as a result of my bisexuality but that is probably because I'm not "out" in the real world (not out of any kind of shame or fear just it's never had cause to be revealed). Having said all that though it does seem that bisexuality is another barrier to be broken down just as the gay one was a good few years ago. The trouble is the barrier needs to be broken down on two sides of the fence not just one so is possibly harder to remove. In *this* life though probably the biggest barrier is clubs where male bisexuality is frowned on on any night apart from specified Bi Nights yet female bisexuality is encouraged and almost expected, and if a specific sexuality can't be accepted by a supoosedly liberated community I fear the barrier may be a tough one to break down. I completely agree. From what I see, it's due to an ingrained view by men that being with other men is wrong. I identify as straight. My fwb is convinced that I'm bi. I have no issue playing with other women as part of a threesome, but I'm unlikely to play with one alone. If we ever get round to couple swapping, I would play with the bloke even if I wasn't attracted to him (again, I would be unlikely to play with him alone). However he is adamant that if we ever get round to a mmf he would not be touching the other m! But is ok with a strap on being used on him "There's a world of difference between enjoying strap on/anal play and enjoying playing with another guy though - the sensations of the former can be wonderful regardless of your sexuality especially when combined with other elements but doesn't necessarily mean you want to try the real thing though. | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up." So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem | |||
"I've never personally suffered any ill feeling or nastiness (apart from the very occasional comment on here, but even then it's rare) as a result of my bisexuality but that is probably because I'm not "out" in the real world (not out of any kind of shame or fear just it's never had cause to be revealed). Having said all that though it does seem that bisexuality is another barrier to be broken down just as the gay one was a good few years ago. The trouble is the barrier needs to be broken down on two sides of the fence not just one so is possibly harder to remove. In *this* life though probably the biggest barrier is clubs where male bisexuality is frowned on on any night apart from specified Bi Nights yet female bisexuality is encouraged and almost expected, and if a specific sexuality can't be accepted by a supoosedly liberated community I fear the barrier may be a tough one to break down. I completely agree. From what I see, it's due to an ingrained view by men that being with other men is wrong. I identify as straight. My fwb is convinced that I'm bi. I have no issue playing with other women as part of a threesome, but I'm unlikely to play with one alone. If we ever get round to couple swapping, I would play with the bloke even if I wasn't attracted to him (again, I would be unlikely to play with him alone). However he is adamant that if we ever get round to a mmf he would not be touching the other m! But is ok with a strap on being used on him
There's a world of difference between enjoying strap on/anal play and enjoying playing with another guy though - the sensations of the former can be wonderful regardless of your sexuality especially when combined with other elements but doesn't necessarily mean you want to try the real thing though."I do understand that.  | |||
"I've never personally suffered any ill feeling or nastiness (apart from the very occasional comment on here, but even then it's rare) as a result of my bisexuality but that is probably because I'm not "out" in the real world (not out of any kind of shame or fear just it's never had cause to be revealed). Having said all that though it does seem that bisexuality is another barrier to be broken down just as the gay one was a good few years ago. The trouble is the barrier needs to be broken down on two sides of the fence not just one so is possibly harder to remove. In *this* life though probably the biggest barrier is clubs where male bisexuality is frowned on on any night apart from specified Bi Nights yet female bisexuality is encouraged and almost expected, and if a specific sexuality can't be accepted by a supoosedly liberated community I fear the barrier may be a tough one to break down. I completely agree. From what I see, it's due to an ingrained view by men that being with other men is wrong. I identify as straight. My fwb is convinced that I'm bi. I have no issue playing with other women as part of a threesome, but I'm unlikely to play with one alone. If we ever get round to couple swapping, I would play with the bloke even if I wasn't attracted to him (again, I would be unlikely to play with him alone). However he is adamant that if we ever get round to a mmf he would not be touching the other m! But is ok with a strap on being used on him
There's a world of difference between enjoying strap on/anal play and enjoying playing with another guy though - the sensations of the former can be wonderful regardless of your sexuality especially when combined with other elements but doesn't necessarily mean you want to try the real thing though.
I do understand that. "Apologies that wasn't meant as a put down - misunderstanding on my part - read it as you drawing parallels between strap on play and bisexuality | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem "Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm. Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm. | |||
"I've never personally suffered any ill feeling or nastiness (apart from the very occasional comment on here, but even then it's rare) as a result of my bisexuality but that is probably because I'm not "out" in the real world (not out of any kind of shame or fear just it's never had cause to be revealed). Having said all that though it does seem that bisexuality is another barrier to be broken down just as the gay one was a good few years ago. The trouble is the barrier needs to be broken down on two sides of the fence not just one so is possibly harder to remove. In *this* life though probably the biggest barrier is clubs where male bisexuality is frowned on on any night apart from specified Bi Nights yet female bisexuality is encouraged and almost expected, and if a specific sexuality can't be accepted by a supoosedly liberated community I fear the barrier may be a tough one to break down. I completely agree. From what I see, it's due to an ingrained view by men that being with other men is wrong. I identify as straight. My fwb is convinced that I'm bi. I have no issue playing with other women as part of a threesome, but I'm unlikely to play with one alone. If we ever get round to couple swapping, I would play with the bloke even if I wasn't attracted to him (again, I would be unlikely to play with him alone). However he is adamant that if we ever get round to a mmf he would not be touching the other m! But is ok with a strap on being used on him
There's a world of difference between enjoying strap on/anal play and enjoying playing with another guy though - the sensations of the former can be wonderful regardless of your sexuality especially when combined with other elements but doesn't necessarily mean you want to try the real thing though.
I do understand that.
Apologies that wasn't meant as a put down - misunderstanding on my part - read it as you drawing parallels between strap on play and bisexuality "I didn't take it as a put down
Sorry, I was trying to work out what else to say and I ran out of words. | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem
Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm.
Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm."I get that What I don’t get is why there is an ever increasing need to keep going on about what our sexuality is . Why not just get on with what works for you , and let everyone else do the same ? | |||
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"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem
Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm.
Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm.
I get that
What I don’t get is why there is an ever increasing need to keep going on about what our sexuality is . Why not just get on with what works for you , and let everyone else do the same ? "Because people could accidentally discriminate through ignorance. Personally, what you describe is how I live. No one's sexuality is an issue for me. If someone wanted to talk about a relationship with their same sex partner, then they get the same support as a different sex partner. | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem
Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm.
Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm.
I get that
What I don’t get is why there is an ever increasing need to keep going on about what our sexuality is . Why not just get on with what works for you , and let everyone else do the same ?
Because people could accidentally discriminate through ignorance.
Personally, what you describe is how I live. No one's sexuality is an issue for me. If someone wanted to talk about a relationship with their same sex partner, then they get the same support as a different sex partner."Surely discrimination is a conscious thing so I’m not sure how you can do it through ignorance. | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem
Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm.
Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm.
I get that
What I don’t get is why there is an ever increasing need to keep going on about what our sexuality is . Why not just get on with what works for you , and let everyone else do the same ?
Because people could accidentally discriminate through ignorance.
Personally, what you describe is how I live. No one's sexuality is an issue for me. If someone wanted to talk about a relationship with their same sex partner, then they get the same support as a different sex partner.
Surely discrimination is a conscious thing so I’m not sure how you can do it through ignorance. "You can discriminate by not being inclusive. It's easy to think that someone wouldn't be interested in something because you don't know them. For example, a hetro couple are getting married from work and everyone is invited to either the hen night or stag do. Which would you invite the gay man to who is equally friendly with both? The stereotype would mean that they would be invited to the hen do, but they might actually prefer to go out with the lads. Or not invite them to either. That would be discrimination by ignorance. | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem
Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm.
Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm.
I get that
What I don’t get is why there is an ever increasing need to keep going on about what our sexuality is . Why not just get on with what works for you , and let everyone else do the same ?
Because people could accidentally discriminate through ignorance.
Personally, what you describe is how I live. No one's sexuality is an issue for me. If someone wanted to talk about a relationship with their same sex partner, then they get the same support as a different sex partner.
Surely discrimination is a conscious thing so I’m not sure how you can do it through ignorance.
You can discriminate by not being inclusive. It's easy to think that someone wouldn't be interested in something because you don't know them.
For example, a hetro couple are getting married from work and everyone is invited to either the hen night or stag do. Which would you invite the gay man to who is equally friendly with both? The stereotype would mean that they would be invited to the hen do, but they might actually prefer to go out with the lads. Or not invite them to either. That would be discrimination by ignorance."I’m not sure the stereotype would mean they are invited to the hendo, I’ve known gay lads come out in stag nights. It would all depend one who they were most friendly with. Equally they may end up going on both nights out. Discrimination by not being inclusive isn’t the same. Some one may end up not having the same access but it’s only discrimination if it’s conscious. | |||
 soon heterosexuals will be saying they need to be accepted
Just live life be happy  | |||
"I read this article in the BBC this morning about the acceptance of bisexuals: Fetishised and forgotten: Why bisexuals want acceptance - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45580578 Basicly it says bisexual people struggle to be accepted in wider society and the LGBT community. Feeding sterotypes of bisexuals and undermining the legitimacy of their sexuality. I find it mad that your sexuality is still a big factor in how many people perceive and judge. Sounds like all parts of society needs to grow up. So all parts of society need to grow up ? Because bisexual people feel fetishised and forgotten . Yet another example of the complete and utter bullshit that we are all supposed to accept because society has moved on ! When I meet someone in the real world , I don’t give a fuck who they are turned on by . Their sexuality is as irelevent to me as their race , colour or religion . They are who they are , and whether we will get along , or whether I employ them or not has nothing to do with their sexuality . I don’t need to know , I don’t want to know , and why should we be constantly bombarded by all this on a daily basis ? How many straight people hark on about wanting this that or the other because they are straight ? How many straight people go out of their way to tell all and sundry what they prefer sexually ? Very few , because there’s no need to go through life going on about what floats your boat sexually , it’s ok to just do your thing without seeking acceptance from everyone around you . As strange as that notion may seem
Straight people don't have to "go on about it" because it's seen as the norm.
Everything else isn't and seen as deviant. And, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people out there who aren't comfortable with anything outside the norm.
I get that
What I don’t get is why there is an ever increasing need to keep going on about what our sexuality is . Why not just get on with what works for you , and let everyone else do the same ?
Because people could accidentally discriminate through ignorance.
Personally, what you describe is how I live. No one's sexuality is an issue for me. If someone wanted to talk about a relationship with their same sex partner, then they get the same support as a different sex partner.
Surely discrimination is a conscious thing so I’m not sure how you can do it through ignorance.
You can discriminate by not being inclusive. It's easy to think that someone wouldn't be interested in something because you don't know them.
For example, a hetro couple are getting married from work and everyone is invited to either the hen night or stag do. Which would you invite the gay man to who is equally friendly with both? The stereotype would mean that they would be invited to the hen do, but they might actually prefer to go out with the lads. Or not invite them to either. That would be discrimination by ignorance.
I’m not sure the stereotype would mean they are invited to the hendo, I’ve known gay lads come out in stag nights. It would all depend one who they were most friendly with.
Equally they may end up going on both nights out.
Discrimination by not being inclusive isn’t the same.
Some one may end up not having the same access but it’s only discrimination if it’s conscious. "I agree with mr pipe here, generally hen do’s are for women and stag for men regardless of sexuality, if someone wants to go to the opposite do that’s up to them to organise with whoever is throwing the party, the person organising has enough to do without trying to be politically correct, I’m fully bi and open about it, the only problem I’ve ever had with it is being called greedy, when that happens I tend to wink and smile, it’s never as a slur, a lot of my friends are a mix of straight, bi and gay, no one really fusses that much, when we’re in a group the main problem we have is guys who won’t leave us alone but that’s just standard horny men, they see/hear women with women and think with their little brain otherwise in all my years I’ve never experienced a problem based on my sexuality | |||
"As the mother of a bisexual 16 year old, they always say they can't win. One person even said they weren't gay enough "It's exactly this. We're treated as equally disgusting as the rest of the LGBT community by bigoted straight people, but regularly told we're not gay enough to be allowed to be part of the LGBT community. Especially those of us who are in straight passing relationships. | |||
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