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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So we’re in the middle of organs meet with a fem in our house (first time we’ve had a meet in our home, we’ve always used clubs)
She was a bit offended when we asked her to send a pic with a bit of paper with the date on, we offered to do the same.
We have exchanged some chat and photos on KiK but you never know if there real, on both sides.
Are we overreacting here or do we feel the right way? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"you are spot on x
Don't worry about it. I have a family member who weaponises offence. Ridiculous.
Did you say Fkn send it.... Or we'd like a pic please..  "
Asked politely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If a couple asked me to do that I would just say thanks but no thanks..
Too much like jumping through hoops imo
"
Point accepted, we’ve always done it with couples and she’s asked us for a lot of Pickle in dresses etc, which so far we’ve avoided sending. It just feels wrong that she’s constantly asking about Sarah, even though she’s involved in the chat group. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d be reluctant to do it, but it depends on the nature of the communication. I think my profile, pics and comms ooze reality. If someone is still questioning my veracity at that point their judgement is off or they are too timid for me.
That said, I asked a woman who I suspected to be fake for a specific picture last week. Huge surprise, totally disappeared.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're using Kik you can ask for a live pic.
Under the photo it will say, "camera" which means it was taken there and then.
You can also use the live video facility |
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"So we’re in the middle of organs meet with a fem in our house (first time we’ve had a meet in our home, we’ve always used clubs)
She was a bit offended when we asked her to send a pic with a bit of paper with the date on, we offered to do the same.
We have exchanged some chat and photos on KiK but you never know if there real, on both sides.
Are we overreacting here or do we feel the right way?"
At the end of the day, do what makes you feel comfortable.
It doesn't mean that she is a fake if she doesn't do it, but it is a reasonable request to ask for one.
Can you do a webcam chat through kik instead? |
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"If a couple asked me to do that I would just say thanks but no thanks..
Too much like jumping through hoops imo
Point accepted, we’ve always done it with couples and she’s asked us for a lot of Pickle in dresses etc, which so far we’ve avoided sending. It just feels wrong that she’s constantly asking about Sarah, even though she’s involved in the chat group."
ooooooooooo let's know if it turns out to be a blokey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile. Your choices...
But if I was that distrusting of anyone I just wouldn't bother meeting...
If anyone was that disrusting of me then what would be the point of meeting... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're using Kik you can ask for a live pic.
Under the photo it will say, "camera" which means it was taken there and then.
You can also use the live video facility"
Unfortunately this isn’t always 1000% the case. I used to run a group and you had to send a ‘live pic’ to an admin when you joined. Someone did, but when you clicked on his picture it crashed the app. He then started messaging me outside of the group and sent me about 10 ‘live’ pictures all with ‘camera’ underneath and yeah, they were of the same guy...but all different ages, different hairstyles, piercings, hair colours etc. Only seen it happen one other time. Usually it’s a fool proof way of knowing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say you're over reacting as such, I think you should do what makes you happy. It's your house and you need to make sure that 'she' is real.
If I was her I wouldn't be sending thise kind of pics but I'm always aware that I may seem 'fake' so I'd meet for a coffee somewhere public first. Maybe do that instead? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we’re in the middle of organs meet with a fem in our house (first time we’ve had a meet in our home, we’ve always used clubs)
She was a bit offended when we asked her to send a pic with a bit of paper with the date on, we offered to do the same.
We have exchanged some chat and photos on KiK but you never know if there real, on both sides.
Are we overreacting here or do we feel the right way?"
which organs are we talking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a couple asked me to do that I would just say thanks but no thanks..
Too much like jumping through hoops imo
Point accepted, we’ve always done it with couples and she’s asked us for a lot of Pickle in dresses etc, which so far we’ve avoided sending. It just feels wrong that she’s constantly asking about Sarah, even though she’s involved in the chat group."
If it seems to good to be true, it usually is... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you're using Kik you can ask for a live pic.
Under the photo it will say, "camera" which means it was taken there and then.
You can also use the live video facility"
We’ve been chatting on Kik, she won’t chat on here her profile is basic, hence why we asked. If we’d been chatting on here with a verified Fem that’s a different ball game.
We offered a coffee etc but again very reluctant to meet us for that too.
We’re not asking her to jump hoops to be fair, she’s asked us for Huggins of photos and kinky chat. |
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"I can see why people ask others to do this but I wouldn't personally, I know I'm real.
Why not meet somewhere for a drink first? "
This is our process.
We like to see people in the flesh, so to speak, before agreeing to anything more intimate.
Nita |
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I wouldn't do it but you're as free to ask as she is to decline. I take the approach that I'm verified and happy to meet for a coffee somewhere convenient, so I'm not going to jump through hoops but if someone is unverified or acting in a way that pings up. flags I understand you asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a couple asked me to do that I would just say thanks but no thanks..
Too much like jumping through hoops imo
Point accepted, we’ve always done it with couples and she’s asked us for a lot of Pickle in dresses etc, which so far we’ve avoided sending. It just feels wrong that she’s constantly asking about Sarah, even though she’s involved in the chat group."
That would put me off. Sounds like a pic collecting man. |
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"If you're using Kik you can ask for a live pic.
Under the photo it will say, "camera" which means it was taken there and then.
You can also use the live video facility
We’ve been chatting on Kik, she won’t chat on here her profile is basic, hence why we asked. If we’d been chatting on here with a verified Fem that’s a different ball game.
We offered a coffee etc but again very reluctant to meet us for that too.
We’re not asking her to jump hoops to be fair, she’s asked us for Huggins of photos and kinky chat."
I suspect your single lady is actually a bloke... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally wouldn't meet someone if this was requested. I think you have take the risk that they will show up. if they have verifications that usually means they are genuine. if they don't, maybe a quick chat on the phone first, you tend to get an idea if they are genuine that way.
Just because someone has uploaded a pic with a recent date, that's still no guarantee that people turn up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're using Kik you can ask for a live pic.
Under the photo it will say, "camera" which means it was taken there and then.
You can also use the live video facility
We’ve been chatting on Kik, she won’t chat on here her profile is basic, hence why we asked. If we’d been chatting on here with a verified Fem that’s a different ball game.
We offered a coffee etc but again very reluctant to meet us for that too.
We’re not asking her to jump hoops to be fair, she’s asked us for Huggins of photos and kinky chat."
It's a man. x |
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I'd do it, I have no issue with that, although in my case I'd wonder why I'd need to (I think I have enough veris from enough people with enough veris, I don't think I do anything dodgy that might suggest a scam). But as women we do pretty much get to make the rules, so I can see a woman in my shoes going "this is too much like hard work". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you distrust someone enough that you've already taken this step then imo they're clearly not coming across as authentic. In those situations I've asked for the same. If, at that point, they have a huff, they either were fake or they're an arse. I wouldn't want to bother with either  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we’re in the middle of organs meet with a fem in our house (first time we’ve had a meet in our home, we’ve always used clubs)
She was a bit offended when we asked her to send a pic with a bit of paper with the date on, we offered to do the same.
We have exchanged some chat and photos on KiK but you never know if there real, on both sides.
Are we overreacting here or do we feel the right way?"
I do the same!
You’re spot on and not overreacting xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I personally wouldn't meet someone if this was requested. I think you have take the risk that they will show up. if they have verifications that usually means they are genuine. if they don't, maybe a quick chat on the phone first, you tend to get an idea if they are genuine that way.
Just because someone has uploaded a pic with a recent date, that's still no guarantee that people turn up."
It’s not the risk of them showing up, we have no evidence she is who she says she is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a phone call and/or a social meet is not unreasonable. I am reluctant to invite people to my house, even if they are verified and much prefer to travel. If I'd had a social I'd be happy for them to come round. If I really wanted to meet someonec I would do as they asked, within reason. For me it's about mutual respect x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested."
Well then I wouldn't follow through with arranging a private meet. You never know who is hiding behind a keyboard after all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested.
Are you still chatting to him?"
Him! This made me chuckle x |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested.
Well then I wouldn't follow through with arranging a private meet. You never know who is hiding behind a keyboard after all"
I agree with Ella. It could have been anyone sending you pics on Kik and this is meeting at your home. Do you really want to do that without knowing for sure who you’re speaking with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone could put up fake pics and easily attach today's date written in a piece of paper, also often people don't look like their recent pics in the flesh either, some better, some not as good.
I think if you meet people and they really are not your type, then just say so, grab a coffee and have a quick chat or grit your teeth and endure the meet.
I guess one way is to have a video chat via Skype or face time etc. Again, personally I wouldn't do this either, someone could record it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary..."
 I must confess I've had so many weird exchanges on Fab now that if I start to sense they're a fake or a fantasist then I'd do something like the op did even for a social. Just been messed around too much in the past |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Everything you've said (no to a social, asking for lots of pics, wanting kinky chat, sparse profile) all sets my Spidey senses tingling so I don't blame you for looking for further validation (although personally I'd have just moved on by now) - the fact that's been refused also would definitely have me saying thanks but no thanks.
Gut feel is a great thing to use - I can understand someone getting a little offended about being asked to prove themselves if they tick all the other reality check boxes (decent profile, active forum member, happy to meet for a social, well verified etc) but without them I don't think It's an unreasonable request. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested.
Are you still chatting to him?"
 no he’s read the last message and gone quiet. To be fair we were unsure straight away but gave a chance in case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
and a phone call first."
I will be honest and say that I don't like to call people as I don't like people having my number, but when arranging things I prefer to meet in a public place after having exchanged face pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested.
Are you still chatting to him?
no he’s read the last message and gone quiet. To be fair we were unsure straight away but gave a chance in case. "
You're nicer than me, I don't give many chances.
Hope you find someone.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested.
Are you still chatting to him?
no he’s read the last message and gone quiet. To be fair we were unsure straight away but gave a chance in case.
You're nicer than me, I don't give many chances.
Hope you find someone. "
Cheers, we’ve had a lot of luck in clubs but fancied a bit of fun at home. We think we will just stick to clubs going forward.
Thanks for everybody’s advice we’ve appreciated it and think it’s just confirmed our suspicions.
Your all a great lot really. Now where’s Seaside we love him! |
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested."
Yeah. Outside clubs or parties, I always do a social first. That'd go doubly if I accommodated. Other people have different ways of doing things, but it's a safety thing. If someone doesn't understand that, you're well rid of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
and a phone call first.
I will be honest and say that I don't like to call people as I don't like people having my number, but when arranging things I prefer to meet in a public place after having exchanged face pics"
meet me in St Louis |
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It wouldn't offend me but it would be the point where I moved on. I'm not a performing monkey and if the number of veris I show on my profile aren't enough to show I'm at least a flesh and blood woman, I don't know what else will convince. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find this interesting as I had a chat with a female a while ago, we chatted on kik exchanged pics but when we me she was nothing like to woman in the pic and I just had to walk away and go home. Glad I never invited her to my house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this interesting as I had a chat with a female a while ago, we chatted on kik exchanged pics but when we me she was nothing like to woman in the pic and I just had to walk away and go home. Glad I never invited her to my house."
Thars why a pic with the date on would be handy as you would know there real as there's so many fake people on here, sometimes it's best to be yourself and if people don't like it it's there lose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this interesting as I had a chat with a female a while ago, we chatted on kik exchanged pics but when we me she was nothing like to woman in the pic and I just had to walk away and go home. Glad I never invited her to my house.
Thars why a pic with the date on would be handy as you would know there real as there's so many fake people on here, sometimes it's best to be yourself and if people don't like it it's there lose"
Yep pic with date or cam next time, that's assuming there is a next time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a couple asked me to do that I would just say thanks but no thanks..
Too much like jumping through hoops imo
Point accepted, we’ve always done it with couples and she’s asked us for a lot of Pickle in dresses etc, which so far we’ve avoided sending. It just feels wrong that she’s constantly asking about Sarah, even though she’s involved in the chat group."
She's a guy.
Not sending it is fine, getting offended is way over the top, unless he's a guy, women don't ask for lots of pictures, that's a huge red flag for me. Our last 3 single girl meets have had accounts dissappear 30 minutes before meet. Never happened before the last few months, now its all, we've stopped arranging meets with single girls, sadly too few are real. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It wouldn't offend me but it would be the point where I moved on. I'm not a performing monkey and if the number of veris I show on my profile aren't enough to show I'm at least a flesh and blood woman, I don't know what else will convince. "
Like we said already her profile was very limited with one veri from a guy. |
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"It wouldn't offend me but it would be the point where I moved on. I'm not a performing monkey and if the number of veris I show on my profile aren't enough to show I'm at least a flesh and blood woman, I don't know what else will convince.
Like we said already her profile was very limited with one veri from a guy."
Yeah, if there's under a certain number of veris on a profile, I'm more cautious and will look into who's verified them. If it's the same few people all verifying each other and no one else, to me that's a red or at least orange flag. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested."
I don't think there's many single women who wouldn't want a social with a couple first.
At that point in the convo I would have moved on. It's a man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also single bi females looking to meet couples aren't exactly commonplace on here. Asking them to jump through hoops to prove that they are genuine is probably not all that conducive to actually meeting them |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary...
We’ve asked for this but she wasn’t interested.
I don't think there's many single women who wouldn't want a social with a couple first.
At that point in the convo I would have moved on. It's a man. "
My thoughts too especially as she was going to their home, on her own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty sure that this is why a social meet is necessary..."
I don't want to waste my time preparing for a social meet, and getting there, for someone who isn't going to turn up because they aren't the person in their pics.
If they won't verify themself I would be inclined to say thanks for the chat and see ya.
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