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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's suffering from
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder "
Tell him not to bother Mrs A...
The Pussy Posse'll batter him as soon as he opens his own profile...;-) |
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"He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's suffering from
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Tell him not to bother Mrs A...
The Pussy Posse'll batter him as soon as he opens his own profile...;-)"
Lmao I have no control  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's suffering from
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Tell him not to bother Mrs A...
The Pussy Posse'll batter him as soon as he opens his own profile...;-)
Lmao I have no control "
Ooooohh... What.... No insider assistance...  |
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year 11 english lesson, students (  )
are learning new words
"can anyone give me the meaning of indifferent?"
little suzie gets excited and quickly puts her hand up " me , miss, me"
"OK suzie, what does it mean"
"Marvellous miss"
"Well no it doesn't but i'm intrigued why you thought that"
"well, miss, i was thirsty last night and as i walked to the bathroom i heard mom yell "hmmm that's marvellous" and then i heard dad say "yes it's indifferent""
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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man buys flavoured condoms, says to wife turn the light out and you tell me flavour of condom, lights out wife shouts cheese and onion flavour, hubby replies hang on haven't started yet |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
I hit the back of this beautiful blonde female's car.... She jumped angrily & shouted " Ram me up the backend... why don't you" . .....................................Thats where the confusion started your honor
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died." |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. |
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I said to my girlfriend on Saturday: ‘How would you like to go shopping with the girls, get some new shoes, get your hair done in a different style and then go out for a couple of bottles of Chardonnay?’ She said: ‘That sounds brilliant.’ I said: ‘Good - because we’re breaking up.’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just got back from the world strawberry picking championships,
some woman with no legs won it!
Jammy cunt!!!!
(sorry about the C word, but it does not work without it!!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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whats the fastest thing on the seabed?
a motorpike
whats the 2nd fastest?
a motorpike and sidecarp
whats the 3rd fastest
a motorpike, sidecarp and 2 spare eels |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why was the lepers ice hockey match cancelled?
the face off in the corner.
2 lepers playing poker.
the first put downa pair of aces, so the 2nd threw his hand in.
hear about the dyslexic pimp?
he bought a warehouse
hear about the dyslexic devilworshipper?
he sold his soul to santa
i met a dyslexic yorkshireman the other day.
i knew he was because he was wearing a catflap |
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"why was the lepers ice hockey match cancelled?
the face off in the corner.
2 lepers playing poker.
the first put downa pair of aces, so the 2nd threw his hand in.
hear about the dyslexic pimp?
he bought a warehouse
hear about the dyslexic devilworshipper?
he sold his soul to santa
i met a dyslexic yorkshireman the other day.
i knew he was because he was wearing a catflap"
i suffer leprosy, just laughed me head off |
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Lorry driver goes into a shop and says "here can someone give me a list with this delivery , they're heavy"
Assistant goes outside and says " you wuss, they're tampax, light as a feather."
Driver "But, but they told me at the depot they was man 'ole covers."
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"
Lorry driver goes into a shop and says "here can someone give me a list with this delivery , they're heavy"
Assistant goes outside and says " you wuss, they're tampax, light as a feather."
Driver "But, but they told me at the depot they was man 'ole covers."
"
Just found out I was dyslexic last night - went to a toga party dressed as a goat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate when people say that you shouldn't give money to homeless people because they're just going to spend it on booze and drugs.
That's what I was going to spend it on anyway. |
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