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My Son, My Rock
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
Ok so my Son is 15 next week, he is extremely mature and we have the best relationship, we have been through a lot of shit together and he has kept me sane and has always been there to hug me when things have gotten really shit... I love him with every inch of my being and soul xxx
So this evening he comes home from school, and without any warning announced he is Bisexual.... I turned and looked him in the face because I needed to see if he was winding me up, but I could see he wasn't... So I said to him... " How do you know? Because quite often at your age people get curious?" He then said he had known for well over a year.... ( he has a girlfriend who he is very happy with and they have been together for a few months ) we talked a bit more and I gave him a hug and told him I loved him whatever...
A little later we had another conversation and he admits to me that he told his sister and his dad a little while ago.... And very recently he talked to his girlfriend about it and 2 of his closest mates....
I guess really I'm feeling a bit hurt that I am the last to know.... He knows he can talk to me about anything and he also said he knew I would be cool with it...
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Perhaps he thought you had things going on so that kind of took precedence over him informing you over his sexuality I wouldn't be upset he's lucky he's supporting parents and a sister he can confide in  |
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"Perhaps he thought you had things going on so that kind of took precedence over him informing you over his sexuality I wouldn't be upset he's lucky he's supporting parents and a sister he can confide in "
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"Don't be. Just be pleased he feels confident enough to be himself, rather than disappointed he might not have worked out the etiquette yet. He's 15.
"
I am very pleased he is confident to be himself... As for not feeling hurt, yes I get it... But easier said than done x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes just be pleased he feels he can tell you.
Who knows what goes through their teen heads. I’m on my third and have no idea but since he was a toddler we’ve been expecting this or gay tbh and who cares. Hope he realises this and we think he does.
From experience with our eldest who’s 24, she had a lot of bi and gay male friends who it turned out were just experimenting. That’s fine!
Good luck op xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't feel hurt. He has come and told you face to face. You're the person he is most closest to so you're the one he would be most concerned about telling, even though he would know you love and support him fully, but he's found the strength to tell you. Try and think back to when you were a teenager and how hard it was to tell your parents. It's obvious you have such a strong bond, so don't let the fact he didn't tell you first upset you. It because he loves you the most.
Not sure that makes total sense but hope you get the jist. |
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"Don't be. Just be pleased he feels confident enough to be himself, rather than disappointed he might not have worked out the etiquette yet. He's 15.
I am very pleased he is confident to be himself... As for not feeling hurt, yes I get it... But easier said than done x"
He was testing the water by telling the others first to see what reaction he'd get.
He was building enough confidence to tell the one he cares about the most.
You aren't the last to know, you are the most special. |
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"Don't be. Just be pleased he feels confident enough to be himself, rather than disappointed he might not have worked out the etiquette yet. He's 15.
I am very pleased he is confident to be himself... As for not feeling hurt, yes I get it... But easier said than done x
He was testing the water by telling the others first to see what reaction he'd get.
He was building enough confidence to tell the one he cares about the most.
You aren't the last to know, you are the most special."
This. Absolutely this.  |
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"Don't feel hurt. He has come and told you face to face. You're the person he is most closest to so you're the one he would be most concerned about telling, even though he would know you love and support him fully, but he's found the strength to tell you. Try and think back to when you were a teenager and how hard it was to tell your parents. It's obvious you have such a strong bond, so don't let the fact he didn't tell you first upset you. It because he loves you the most.
Not sure that makes total sense but hope you get the jist."
Actually yes, makes total sense and thank you... Makes me feel a lot better... Sometimes when you are in it, it's hard to see it for what it is... Thank you xx |
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"Don't be. Just be pleased he feels confident enough to be himself, rather than disappointed he might not have worked out the etiquette yet. He's 15.
I am very pleased he is confident to be himself... As for not feeling hurt, yes I get it... But easier said than done x
He was testing the water by telling the others first to see what reaction he'd get.
He was building enough confidence to tell the one he cares about the most.
You aren't the last to know, you are the most special."
 |
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"Yes just be pleased he feels he can tell you.
Who knows what goes through their teen heads. I’m on my third and have no idea but since he was a toddler we’ve been expecting this or gay tbh and who cares. Hope he realises this and we think he does.
From experience with our eldest who’s 24, she had a lot of bi and gay male friends who it turned out were just experimenting. That’s fine!
Good luck op xx"
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're luckier than you know
Your son wants you to know HIM, not the son he thinks you might want him to be
That says a lot about him, you as a parent and your family as a whole
This is a very progressive and positive step he has taken, don't get bogged down with when & how you found out |
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OP don't feel bad that you are the last to know, it's normal for most parents to be the last to find out about anything.
I don't have children of my own but have a fantastic niece and nephew, now aged 17 and 21. Anything at all that they have ever had on their minds they came to me before their parents. Be it something small or something massive I've always been the first person they spoke to. I've always viewed it as them testing the waters with someone they love and trust but who is not quite so close as their mum and dad. It gives them more confidence to open up to those who are really close to them.
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"You're luckier than you know
Your son wants you to know HIM, not the son he thinks you might want him to be
That says a lot about him, you as a parent and your family as a whole
This is a very progressive and positive step he has taken, don't get bogged down with when & how you found out"
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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"OP don't feel bad that you are the last to know, it's normal for most parents to be the last to find out about anything.
I don't have children of my own but have a fantastic niece and nephew, now aged 17 and 21. Anything at all that they have ever had on their minds they came to me before their parents. Be it something small or something massive I've always been the first person they spoke to. I've always viewed it as them testing the waters with someone they love and trust but who is not quite so close as their mum and dad. It gives them more confidence to open up to those who are really close to them.
"
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