Couples in longterm relationships do become best friends and soul mates.
There with each other for long periods of time, seeing what others Don,t see of each other . This being habits,mundainess, moods, illness etc,etc,etc.
They become intwined and intuitive to each other.
They confirm each through LOVE making but even this is not even needed because they so aware that support is always there.
Can understand why a decision is made to get the extra stimulus of a third party for the filthy stuff both to indulge in a bit of naughtyness.
Would it be fare to say they could ,nt possibly be this way with partner as fear of upsetting that bond?? |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
God no!! It’s the trust and the connection that you have in a long term relationship that really enables complete, utter filth and honest kinkiness I could never entrust in a complete random stranger
Lex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God no!! It’s the trust and the connection that you have in a long term relationship that really enables complete, utter filth and honest kinkiness I could never entrust in a complete random stranger
Lex"
Exactly this 100%
Jo.Xx |
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"God no!! It’s the trust and the connection that you have in a long term relationship that really enables complete, utter filth and honest kinkiness I could never entrust in a complete random stranger
Lex
Exactly this 100%
Jo.Xx"
. Hhhmm yep yes trust is a big element. However This is my point , with trust comes understand and intuition when you,ve gone to far or had enough. This being boundaries are,nt pushed as to fear of upsetting ,hurting your closest.
Where as it would be easier to get upsetting/ angry with a stranger should that unfortunate scenario happen. After all you Don,t have to go home with them, and pick up normality after ... |
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It seems to me that quite a few men fear pushing boundaries with a long term partner. What they fail to understand is that is exactly why forges a relationship.
Many women welcome boundary testing it frees them to express their own limits. Getting angry, upset etc is part of finding out who your partner is. It doesn't mean the end of a relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. |
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Then to add...
Once a mother or father..where the constant demands this has. Along with constant moral pedal stall parents put them self on ..
Is to possible for them to have a double life where there inner primal urges can be explored.
Not to mention the time that is needed for this, but emotionally to. |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
"God no!! It’s the trust and the connection that you have in a long term relationship that really enables complete, utter filth and honest kinkiness I could never entrust in a complete random stranger
Lex
Exactly this 100%
Jo.Xx. Hhhmm yep yes trust is a big element. However This is my point , with trust comes understand and intuition when you,ve gone to far or had enough. This being boundaries are,nt pushed as to fear of upsetting ,hurting your closest.
Where as it would be easier to get upsetting/ angry with a stranger should that unfortunate scenario happen. After all you Don,t have to go home with them, and pick up normality after ..."
You seem to miss the point of relationships.
When you have a totally open and honest relationship with the person you love you can push your boundaries together to the very edge, continually exploring, teetering and edging over comfortably in a way you can’t with someone you don’t know. |
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. "
I think there are loads of different versions of a relationship. Lots it seems to me are just skimming along the surface of knowing each other. I don't know if it's fear of true intimacy or what. It's almost as if once they've settled down they don't want the relationship to develop. If both parties are happy with this arrangement I don't see a problem with it but from what I read on here quite a few aren't. The number of men who are afraid to talk sex with their wives is very sad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. "
This  |
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"Then to add...
Once a mother or father..where the constant demands this has. Along with constant moral pedal stall parents put them self on ..
Is to possible for them to have a double life where there inner primal urges can be explored.
Not to mention the time that is needed for this, but emotionally to."
Parents are sexual. It is difficult to find the time but manageable. It's good for kids to know that their parents have an emotional and physical relationship that'd separate from their parental duties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you are making the mistake of assuming that because you can't/don't/won't push barriers with a partner and I;m guessing fall in to a 'safe' mundanity that that is true for all couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then to add...
Once a mother or father..where the constant demands this has. Along with constant moral pedal stall parents put them self on ..
Is to possible for them to have a double life where there inner primal urges can be explored.
Not to mention the time that is needed for this, but emotionally to."
Well we have 4 kids youngest is 5 eldest 14, yes it is about finding a balance, we do Parenting 100%, and we fit this secret life in where ever possible, and we communicate daily, so it works well for us.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a long term relationship where there is trust then you should be able to aporuach the subject of swinging etc. If your too scared to ask her as you know damn well she will go mad then you don’t have a close relationship at all.
I could never have had this relationship with my previous husband as he was jealous person so I would never have broached the subject. New hubby is a different kettle of fish! |
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"I think you are making the mistake of assuming that because you can't/don't/won't push barriers with a partner and I;m guessing fall in to a 'safe' mundanity that that is true for all couples"
I think that a lot of people fall in to this category.
a friend once asked me what Mr N and I talk about. I think she thought after we'd discussed dinner plans that was it!  |
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. "
. Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as. |
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. . Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as."
Sometimes when we're discussing boundaries and I ask Mr N if he's OK with something I want to do he says "you know me I'm up for anything". I know that he would be happy to do stuff I'd never dream of. It doesn't make me think any the worse of him. That's what knowing each other properly is about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. . Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as."
I think the opposite I think if men knew what was really running through our minds they run a mile  luckily for me my hubby knew what he was getting into when he fell for me 21 years ago, and loves how naughty my mind gets 
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. . Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as."
So in your world women are prudish? Repressed? Or am I misreading something? |
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"I think you are making the mistake of assuming that because you can't/don't/won't push barriers with a partner and I;m guessing fall in to a 'safe' mundanity that that is true for all couples
I think that a lot of people fall in to this category.
a friend once asked me what Mr N and I talk about. I think she thought after we'd discussed dinner plans that was it! "
. Ha ha that's amusing.. |
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. . Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as.
I think the opposite I think if men knew what was really running through our minds they run a mile luckily for me my hubby knew what he was getting into when he fell for me 21 years ago, and loves how naughty my mind gets
Xx"
. That's good to hear......
Though I do think for a lot of couples. ... The film quote from " A few good men ".....comes to mind .....
" the truth? ...THE THRUTH..! You can,t handle the truth ..."
Ha ha |
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. . Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as.
So in your world women are prudish? Repressed? Or am I misreading something?"
no not at all, far from it. Though do think ladies are perhaps judged more if express darker xxx thoughts or fearfull of admitting to there desires. |
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"I think if you are with someone you don't trust enough to even discuss pushing any boundaries, then your relationship is not as strong as you think. It does seem like alot if men, especially, are with women they think would leave them if they suggested anything out of the ordinary. To me, those relationships are doomed to fail. . Hhhmm that's quite interesting.......
With the concept of the males view of sex,fantasy is sometimes without pulling punches crude.
There may be a good reason for men to feel constrained about not pushing boundaries.
Last thing a guy wants is partner to think " omg !". " I did,nt think you were like that" or worst still " that's not the man I thought I married".
Not sure ladies would be prepared or like to hear what some guys would like to get up to or try.This no matter how open minded the female half would like to perceive herself as.
So in your world women are prudish? Repressed? Or am I misreading something? no not at all, far from it. Though do think ladies are perhaps judged more if express darker xxx thoughts or fearfull of admitting to there desires."
That I agree with. |
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"So in the interests o open and honest discussion. Is this a thinly veiled question about yourself? Are you here, a married man on his own whose wife is not partaking?"
no ...one of those pesky ,irritable single guys. My observations are purely from a distance,and yes no doubt misplaced. Then I know I,m missing out on a lot ,then if opporty arises can also immerse myself more without reproach from a close one. Odd irony, but then us single guys have a bad rep on here .
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"So in the interests o open and honest discussion. Is this a thinly veiled question about yourself? Are you here, a married man on his own whose wife is not partaking?"
no ...one of those pesky ,irritable single guys. My observations are purely from a distance,and yes no doubt misplaced. Then I know I,m missing out on a lot ,then if opporty arises can also immerse myself more without reproach from a close one. Odd irony, but then us single guys have a bad rep on here .
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
Then my suggestions and advice for future relationships as always is to be open and honest and go in with your cards clearly on the table.
Setting out how open you’d like your partner to be and how encouraging you’d like to be with each other’s explorations. That even if those desires aren’t your own you can discuss them in an adult non consequential way, a way that doesn’t have to affect your relationship but you can work round it. That’s part of the compromise of a relationship is having the ability to share everything.
Maybe you’ve been seeing people who aren’t fully comfortable in their relationship |
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"So in the interests o open and honest discussion. Is this a thinly veiled question about yourself? Are you here, a married man on his own whose wife is not partaking? no ...one of those pesky ,irritable single guys. My observations are purely from a distance,and yes no doubt misplaced. Then I know I,m missing out on a lot ,then if opporty arises can also immerse myself more without reproach from a close one. Odd irony, but then us single guys have a bad rep on here ."
I think a lot of women would react with shock if their husband suggested swinging. Being in a close, loving, honest relationship doesn't mean that you accept and agree with everything your partner says. What it does mean is that you use the shock as a starting point for honest discussion which might end in her agreeing to swing or not. |
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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
"God no!! It’s the trust and the connection that you have in a long term relationship that really enables complete, utter filth and honest kinkiness I could never entrust in a complete random stranger
Lex"
You've hit the nail on the head |
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