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Kids leaving home
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Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I dropped my daughter off at her first uni digs I knew then she was never coming home again. I made sure I told her we love her and we are so proud of her and left with a tear in my eye. It wasn't much different with my son except he declind uni and went straight into full time work. |
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Be sad for a day or two then enjoy your new found freedom. Be happy that your kids are moving on with their lives, its as it should be.
I think we must be unnatural parents because we were happy when ours went.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"House seems so quiet and empty
You will become accustomed to it. Then they'll be back with their washing, noise and mess  "
 And just remember that saying "If you love them let them free".
It is hard and feels like a bereavement for a while but feel proud that you have brought them up to enable them to be an adult and to cope with life. Just let them know that if they have any problems you will always be there for them. Build a relationship with them as an adult not as a helicopter mum. My daughter is now 33 but I know that if she has a problem in her life, feels a little down or has something nice to share I am the first person she will tell. We don't live in each other's pockets but we are a family and always will be. |
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I'm dreading it and it's not for another two years. I only have my daughter for half the week at the moment which I kinda like,but to not have her here at all is going to be hard.
She wants to travel the world and live in the States,I'm mourning it already. |
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"I mean this in a good way.
Don't burden your kids with the responsibility of your feelings of loss.
It's our job to celebrate their life milestones, not mourn them."
I'm hopefully not doing by keeping all my thoughts to myself. I'm hoping it's like when I turned 50 I was dreading it,but when it arrived it wasn't that bad. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"House seems so quiet and empty
You will become accustomed to it. Then they'll be back with their washing, noise and mess
And just remember that saying "If you love them let them free".
It is hard and feels like a bereavement for a while but feel proud that you have brought them up to enable them to be an adult and to cope with life. Just let them know that if they have any problems you will always be there for them. Build a relationship with them as an adult not as a helicopter mum. My daughter is now 33 but I know that if she has a problem in her life, feels a little down or has something nice to share I am the first person she will tell. We don't live in each other's pockets but we are a family and always will be."
This was what I think both me and parents found hard. Mum used to call all the time and I was like I am coping. Then I came home for a weekend and had a huge argument. We didn’t speak for nearly 2 months.
I can see she was missing me, but at the time she was struggling with my brother and my dad wasn’t being helpful. I should have took the initiative and called at a time that suited me. They used to call at 9am on a Sunday morning or 10 mins before football started and wonder why I was hung over or on the piss
There was always accusations that I didn’t come home regularly enough. I had a lecture at 4pm on a Friday so I would have to wait till after 7 to get train so would be gone 10pm then would have to set off again late on Sunday. Wasn’t worth it. Also had no access to internet or pc which is a nightmare if assignments due.
That is the one thing I should have spent time explaining. Mum and dad hardly visited me at weekends. Mum couldn’t drive (medical) and dad only could drive after work on Saturday. It was a good couple of hours drive.
Looking back there are so many things we could have done differently for example mum could have come up for the day with my brother. I could have been more engaging. I struggled being away from home.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the upside you can turn a bedroom into a project room/sauna/microbrewery, walk naked round the house again, have sex on every flat surface around the house and wear whatever you want without your children commenting on it.
I can be this glib as have a few years yet before I have to face it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the upside you can turn a bedroom into a project room/sauna/microbrewery, walk naked round the house again, have sex on every flat surface around the house and wear whatever you want without your children commenting on it.
I can be this glib as have a few years yet before I have to face it."
This.... I've already thought my sons room would make a excellent dungeon |
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look at it as if your child was a beautiful bird in a cage that you've fed, watered and looked after since birth.
Do you keep that bird with clipped wings in a cage so you get pleasure from looking at it
Or
Do you open the cage and let it experience life, love, nature, fresh air in it's lungs.
If you've done your job right the bird will want to come home to visit you but if you keep it locked up it will surely escape one day and resent you.
It's early days and the wound is fresh but you'll slowly come to terms with it.
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"I mean this in a good way.
Don't burden your kids with the responsibility of your feelings of loss.
It's our job to celebrate their life milestones, not mourn them.
I'm hopefully not doing by keeping all my thoughts to myself. I'm hoping it's like when I turned 50 I was dreading it,but when it arrived it wasn't that bad. "
I can only speak from our experience. It's not that I don't empathise but we really enjoy and relish this stage in our lives. |
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"Our eldest has just moved back home and it's really cramping our style!!
Lol. They have no idea either, they think we're past it  "
Yes we're fed up with being asked where we're going, what we're doing, who we're meeting and what time we'll be home! My answer "well you never used to tell us what you were up to!!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our eldest has just moved back home and it's really cramping our style!!"
I had this once when my daughter moved back for 6 months - could only host my f/b when she went away for weekends. Car came in very handy |
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"Our eldest has just moved back home and it's really cramping our style!!
I had this once when my daughter moved back for 6 months - could only host my f/b when she went away for weekends. Car came in very handy "
Funny xx |
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I live in a small quite town. I alway knew my son would be off as soon as he could. He left at 16 and i was heartbroken took me three months to get used to it. Then i got two kittens and thats when my cat obsession started. He was also to busy living to give me a second thought half the time. But that changed. We are very close but know bloody way would i want him back home now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
"
Sorry to say, it does not get easier. My boy is in his third year and I break my heart each time he leaves.
Doesn't help he's studying in Scotland, but I know he is happy and these are properly exciting times.
He has amazing things happening around him,and I couldn't be prouder.
Havent seen him all summer, he's been working on projects, he's home next week for two weeks. Then back up North.
Just be kind to yourself. Try not to check in. And just remember,your girl is being amazing xx |
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"Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
"
Don't worry, they come back  and never fucking leave! |
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"Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
Sorry to say, it does not get easier. My boy is in his third year and I break my heart each time he leaves.
Doesn't help he's studying in Scotland, but I know he is happy and these are properly exciting times.
He has amazing things happening around him,and I couldn't be prouder.
Havent seen him all summer, he's been working on projects, he's home next week for two weeks. Then back up North.
Just be kind to yourself. Try not to check in. And just remember,your girl is being amazing xx"
XXX thank you
And thanks for all your input everyone
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My two just spent the weekend here, together with child, husband and girlfriend. It was great to see and spend time with them. I got to pay for everything. They trashed the house.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
"
How does she feel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My two just spent the weekend here, together with child, husband and girlfriend. It was great to see and spend time with them. I got to pay for everything. They trashed the house.."
Haha |
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"My two just spent the weekend here, together with child, husband and girlfriend. It was great to see and spend time with them. I got to pay for everything. They trashed the house.."
All relatives bring joy. Some when they arrive, some when they leave |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I dropped my 16 year old son at the Army Foundation College 6 years ago... The Army took my little boy and made him a man.
Our youngest is now 17 and at college. I get the distinct impression we are gonna be stuck with him til he's in his 40s!  |
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"Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
How does she feel? "
She does not like it. She's homesick big time..... That is not helping! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
How does she feel?
She does not like it. She's homesick big time..... That is not helping! "
Oh no gutted to hear that, is she getting involved in Freshers? Has she found friends yet?
We were lucky, Luke shared halls with 8 fantastic people, who looked out for each other. One of whom became a best friend very quickly, they share a house now, and still besties.
I sincerely hope she finds her place there.... As for you, just remember you gave her, her wings and now she can fly xx
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"Dropped our youngest off at university today and I am in bits. first time in 30 years that we have not had a child/children in the house.
Should be the start of fun for us but we just want her back home.
How does she feel?
She does not like it. She's homesick big time..... That is not helping! "
I was homesick when I first went away to college. I remember going home one weekend and when it was time to leave just wanting to put my case down and stay. I didn't though and I'm glad because I soon made friends and had the best time.
Obviously monitor the situation but hopefully she'll settle in soon.
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"On the upside you can turn a bedroom into a project room/sauna/microbrewery, walk naked round the house again, have sex on every flat surface around the house and wear whatever you want without your children commenting on it.
I can be this glib as have a few years yet before I have to face it."
Or possibly a play room |
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