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By *haron7540Woman
over a year ago
Hayle, Cornwall |
A man works away from home a lot so decides to buy his wife a present. He goes to the sex shop and they sell him a "magic vibrator", and give him instructions on how it should be used.
He takes it home and gives it to his wife with the instructions.
To turn it on say magic vibrator on.
To turn it off say magic vibrator off.
To use it on your pussy say magic vibrator my pussy.
After the man goes on his business trip the wife decides to try out the magic vibrator.
Magic vibrator on
Magic vibrator my pussy.
Several orgasms later she can't remember how to turn it off.
She decides to go to hospital to see if they can help.
Driving there she is still having orgasms and therefore driving erratically, because of this she gets pulled over by a policeman and she tries explaining to him about the magic vibrator, his response was "magic vibrator my arse"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dog goes into the Job centre, sits down and says "got any jobs".
The woman the other side of the desk thinks "fuck me a talking dog"
"I have just the position for you" she says and makes a call.
"Hello Billy Smarts Circus? I have a talking dog are you interested? great I will send him over".
"Great news Billy Smart says he wants you"
"Billy Smarts? What the fuck does a circus need an electrician for"??? Says the dog |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to the Doctors about this uncomfortable rash.
The Doc said "you'll have to stop masturbating"
"why" I asked
"because I'm trying to examine you" he replied |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The 2 village idiots decide go try find a job so the go job centre and one says look at this ..forestry commission want fit ppl to chop down trees 1st idiot says we can do that 2nd idiot say no we can't look the job title says tree fellows there's only 2 of us you idiot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm baffled by your orange penis" the doctor said, "is it work related?"
"I doubt it" the patient replied, "I'm unemployed".
"so what do you do all day?"
"I eat wotsits and watch porn" |
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""I'm baffled by your orange penis" the doctor said, "is it work related?"
"I doubt it" the patient replied, "I'm unemployed".
"so what do you do all day?"
"I eat wotsits and watch porn""
Brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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3 idiots stranded on a island and 1 finds a lamps ,gives it a rub a genie pops out and grants them all 1 wish 1st idiot says I want go back home n puff of smoke he's gone 2nd idiot says I want be off this island in a lovely big house n puff of smoke he's gone genie says to 3rd idiot and what is your wish,he says I want my 2 mates back here I don't went be on my own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just before Xmas 1 year a guy is driving home see a sign by a farm fresh 3 legged turkeys for sale so he drives in sees them in a field goes to the farmer and says why they all got 3 legs ???? The farmer replays well you see I like a leg,the wife likes a leg and my son he likes a leg the guy in the car asks what do they taste like and the farmer replys I wouldn't know the 3 legged little buggers run so fast I can't bloody catch them. |
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