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Dummies Guide to Fab
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message. "
So what kinda message would you consider replying to... genuinely asking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A random first message, asking someone if they'd let you eat their shit, will likely not result in a reply 
Wtf 
I kid you not
You mean "shit you not"  "
Bugger!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message
Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message
Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either "
Is a compliment acceptable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message
Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either
Is a compliment acceptable?"
Sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message
Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either
Is a compliment acceptable?
Sure"
Good to know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't attach your picture to every single message you send. I've had a few men that message me and attach a pic - OK great, so I reply, they reply... Attaching the same pic again and again and again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell
Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol"
Good thing that's what I am doing...not that it gets me any responses lol....or maybe I am just not fit enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell
Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol
Good thing that's what I am doing...not that it gets me any responses lol....or maybe I am just not fit enough "
It’s because you don’t have a vagina |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell
Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol
Good thing that's what I am doing...not that it gets me any responses lol....or maybe I am just not fit enough
It’s because you don’t have a vagina "
How do you know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Advice to new fellas
Don't go making a post in the forums because youve had one ickle tiny knock back it doesn't look good "
What do you mean? Like that someone's ranting about getting a response he/she didn't expect? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have a membership name, profile icon, photos, profile text, status updates, private messages, and the forums as your toolset with which to convey that you may be worth meeting... think!
Is a guy called "deathspunk", with a profile icon of a flaccid hairy willy, photos of him in a grotty bathroom with a turd floating in the loo in the background, profile text in caps RANTING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY PUSSY, daily updates calling everyone fakes, and who sends out private messages like "do you fuck?" and then comes onto the forums to gripe about not getting fucked yet... is that really a winning use of all those tools?
Just think. That's all. Think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Advice to new fellas
Don't go making a post in the forums because youve had one ickle tiny knock back it doesn't look good
What do you mean? Like that someone's ranting about getting a response he/she didn't expect?"
Pretty much i often see new guys moaning about getting knocked back deleted or blocked after one message sent i know getting rejected hurts but come on if youve only just joined and been knocked back straight away then move on dont need to rant about it |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Be prepared to show yourself. If you aren’t prepared to provide some indication of your body shape beyond your cock, people will not want to meet you. "
Didn’t realise you had such tight nipples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you message a couples profile addressing the woman as a worthless fuck toy, ignore the respect and bond that's in a swinging relationship and make it all about what you wanna do with ya shitty cock. Or demand sex from her as and when requested, inquire about the fact that you are near by and this is the only reason to ride an unsolicited wank bank. Or my personal favorite asking the lady if she wants to go for an ole ride behind the mans back, quick wee one just. Wankers of fab that make it harder for decent blokes on here, shame  |
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Your profile can make you or break you here.
It's your pitch to be noticed and the more work you put in the better chance you will have in getting enquiries.
Likewise, it will be a the first thing those you message will want to see before considering replying.
In short, effort does improve the chances of getting rewards.
Anf finally, take rejection on the chin and move on, without resorting to childish petulant insults |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you had to contribute to a Dummies Guide to Fab, what would you choose to add to the guide? "
a dummies forever not just for Xmas only 107 days till you guessed it Santa's here  |
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"If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message.
So what kinda message would you consider replying to... genuinely asking"
I think (to the extent that blanket advice is useful because everyone's individual), the best template is a) reasons why you like my profile*, b) what you think we have in common, and c) what you have to offer. I'm personally put off by too explicit immediately ("I want to X your Y" is bad; "I see you're interested in X, I enjoy this about X" is better). Apart from the fact that you're discussing sex immediately, consider the fact that you're approaching a stranger: be polite, respectful, non-creepy, and be prepared to take no for an answer. It also has to be different and pique my interest somehow, but that's impossible to quantify.
* For me "love your pictures" alone won't do it, but that's just me. Ditto "Fab puts us nearby". |
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"It looks extremely desperate when you send your number in your opening message. And very daft. "
Or your status. I've seen an unbelievable amount of numbers and postcodes shared in the updates section! Yes, you might take anyone, but don't be obvious about it and pay some mind to your safety! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "
Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.
Better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "
help the man then, whats the secret to your success? |
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "
Hey, you could look at it as a guide to higher odds of getting laid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.
Better?"
Thank you! Now we’re talking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.
Better?
Thank you! Now we’re talking "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Hey, you could look at it as a guide to higher odds of getting laid. "
really, advice from here? |
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.
Better?"
We had four of those messages on Friday night! Three of them were off James Rampton though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.
Better?
We had four of those messages on Friday night! Three of them were off James Rampton though! "
in your dreams, airtight omg |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful."
This is awesome advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful.
This is awesome advice "
is his name Oscar by any chance? |
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"You have a membership name, profile icon, photos, profile text, status updates, private messages, and the forums as your toolset with which to convey that you may be worth meeting... think!
Is a guy called "deathspunk", with a profile icon of a flaccid hairy willy, photos of him in a grotty bathroom with a turd floating in the loo in the background, profile text in caps RANTING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY PUSSY, daily updates calling everyone fakes, and who sends out private messages like "do you fuck?" and then comes onto the forums to gripe about not getting fucked yet... is that really a winning use of all those tools?
Just think. That's all. Think "
Lol he exists! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be yourself to be fair, unless your a complete tool then I don't think this is the right place for ya. Be truthful, respectful and honest and funny... What more can you ask for?
It's pointless banging the drum about this that and the other, saying your a spit for Vernon Kay when in fact your more of a Peter Kay.
Don't take yourself or fab too seriously, you get knockbacks all the time. Just brush yourself off and try again.
Reading profiles... obvious thing to do.
Get on the forums, take hints and tips off people and you should be ok. |
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Hey, you could look at it as a guide to higher odds of getting laid. "
this definitely |
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"If you had to contribute to a Dummies Guide to Fab, what would you choose to add to the guide? "
To people who write on their profile that messages and invite from single men will be deleted :
Just filter them out. |
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"Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful."
This one actually made me laugh out loud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message. "
That should be on the warning page every time they send a message!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "
Fab is frequently a very negative experience. |
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Fab is frequently a very negative experience."
Why are you here then?
I didn't read any of the above responses as "negative", just some of the common horror stories that we talk about on a regular basis! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have a membership name, profile icon, photos, profile text, status updates, private messages, and the forums as your toolset with which to convey that you may be worth meeting... think!
Is a guy called "deathspunk", with a profile icon of a flaccid hairy willy, photos of him in a grotty bathroom with a turd floating in the loo in the background, profile text in caps RANTING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY PUSSY, daily updates calling everyone fakes, and who sends out private messages like "do you fuck?" and then comes onto the forums to gripe about not getting fucked yet... is that really a winning use of all those tools?
Just think. That's all. Think
Lol he exists!"
 My sincere apologies to Deathspunk
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of these should be added to the fab terms and conditions but it won't stop the plonkers  "
One of the biggest problems with men on Fab is that many don't read anything written here - if everything was pictorial with a line through the forbidden actions then maybe it would work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!
Fab is frequently a very negative experience.
Why are you here then?
I didn't read any of the above responses as "negative", just some of the common horror stories that we talk about on a regular basis!"
Occasionally someone says something funny, and I have a high tolerance for judgemental fucktards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont ask if you can just play with one half of a couple, or expect a couple to play with just the male because "she's not meeting right now".
You wouldn't buy a car and ask for it without doors so enjoy the full package or find something that suits your requirements elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of these should be added to the fab terms and conditions but it won't stop the plonkers
One of the biggest problems with men on Fab is that many don't read anything written here - if everything was pictorial with a line through the forbidden actions then maybe it would work "
 |
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