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Checking your partners phone!
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By *ucksuck OP Man
over a year ago
dubdrum |
Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed
Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.
I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say "confronting" them is the best idea where you are not exactly innocent yourself. I'd suggest you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about your relationship and what you both want from it. |
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By *ucksuck OP Man
over a year ago
dubdrum |
“Her” is a him
I’m not trying to make excuses for my infidelity but I’m on here due to his lack of sexual interest. And to be honest I never really believed that was true and it’s somewhat borne out.
Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You seem to blame her for the lack of sex and then justify your cheating as being a direct result of her actions.
And then are pissed at her for doing the same?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As harsh as it is you live by the sword you die by the sword
You cant moan and gripe at her for sending a few messages and pics when you have been seeking sex elsewhere
So its ok for you to play the field but not her?
Call me cynical but it soumds to me like you want your cake and to eat it
Sorry if it isn't what you want to hear |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
I think you need to start communicating with him and find out where his head is at. There maybe reasons why he's not interested in sex and why he's been messaging his ex. You have to listen and given that you're on here without his knowledge decide what you actually want! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn't it funny how we can always find ways to justify our own actions, then get indignant when we are treated in the same way?
Time for an honest conversation for a change perhaps. |
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Sorry op. Your on here due to lack of sex. Maybe shes texting them because she isnt feeling loved or insecure because she knows your getting sex elsewhere. Doesnt sound as though there is much conmunication in your relationship |
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"“Her” is a him
I’m not trying to make excuses for my infidelity but I’m on here due to his lack of sexual interest. And to be honest I never really believed that was true and it’s somewhat borne out.
Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"
It's never gonna work.if ur not getting what u want at home .sorry ... |
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A relationship with no trust, no communication and no intimacy is fucked unless you are both prepared to address your issues and work together to try to resolve them.
You can stick your heads in the sand and float along as you are but is this fulfilling for either of you?
Bite the bullet and either try to make it work, or have the balls and honesty to get out of your comfort zone and walk away.
Good luck.
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"There you go assuming it was a her and her job was to do the washing....typecasting women....tut tut  "
Yes I assumed it was a her ...
But any gender can do the washing whilst you are out getting your fill and you can have a real in depth convo when the spin cycle is going |
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Talk to him, find out what the problem is....it could all end in disaster if you don’t sort it out.
Also why is he being blamed for everything?
There is a saying my late mum used to say.....’it takes two to Tango’!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm so you can fuck around from here or anywhere else but they cant flirt and send a picture to someone you say lives abroad but you get all pissed off sounds to me neither of you are happy and both should go your own way when it gets to checking phone stage its over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and there is nothing wrong with being in touch with an ex , they can still be part of your life , some of mine are still pals , the secrecy and not communicating is the problem , tit for tat and using it as an excuse is wrong , and why arnt you satisfying her , but going elsewhere , dont you fancy her anymore ? |
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"Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed
Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.
I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is?"
male of female partner? |
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"“Her” is a him
I’m not trying to make excuses for my infidelity but I’m on here due to his lack of sexual interest. And to be honest I never really believed that was true and it’s somewhat borne out.
Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"
were the texts of a sexual nature? how long have you been together? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there are sites where you can enter someones number and read all their texts , scary ???"
Lucky I don't know of such a site be hard not to type in a number or two |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This happened to a former co worker.... before when fraternizing was allowed in the office....
This guy would have affairs with all the pretty interns for the summer.... I saw him hook up with at least ten women....
One night during Christmas holidays, he invites me out for a drink... he then tells me he found out his wife was cheating on him with her personal trainer...
He felt so betrayed and was devastated... me being the good friend advised him to forgive her... I told him he have cheated 10 times and she had done it only once... so he is 9 girls ahead in the cheating game....
He then proceeded to call me crazy... His logic was men cheated just to have sex and women cheat to have a emotional bond... so her cheating was much worse than his...
Moral of the story......
People who cheat never think they are wrong.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed
Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.
I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is?"
Well tech you also braking the trust, so it's a hard or to say but I'd say sit down and talk but you can't say I know your flirting with your ex without admitting what your doing as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't spying on your partner by checking their phone now defined as abuse?"
Think is domestic abuse know but only ifyouriseing software to do it , not picking the phone up and looking. |
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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago
streatham |
"
Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"
Doesn’t this just make you good friends? I never understood people who value/enjoy/need sex so much or are kinky/have fantasies/desires that they are on a site like this to fulfill them but stay in relationships where this vital nugget is not there- is it really still “partner love” or just “friendly love”?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed
Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.
I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is?"
trust isn't involved you've broken that one my friend and many are still friendly with their exs or even still love them, I think you both should move on personally but not my call your lives  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed
Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.
I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is?"
Can you continue the relationship with no sex but knowing that you can both fuck other people? |
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Sorry but if sounds like neither of you are particularly happy with the situation you are in. One of you acting upon it more than the other.
Can you now imagine how he would feel if he found your profile on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other
Doesn’t this just make you good friends? I never understood people who value/enjoy/need sex so much or are kinky/have fantasies/desires that they are on a site like this to fulfill them but stay in relationships where this vital nugget is not there- is it really still “partner love” or just “friendly love”?
"
There are many reasons why people stay. Apathy, financial reasons, not wanting to be alone, keeping up the pretence of a relationship in order not to lose face socially, fear of what people will think/say, fear of losing custody of kids if there are any, not wanting to be the bad guy by initiating the break-up..... |
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"A relationship with no trust, no communication and no intimacy is fucked unless you are both prepared to address your issues and work together to try to resolve them.
You can stick your heads in the sand and float along as you are but is this fulfilling for either of you?
Bite the bullet and either try to make it work, or have the balls and honesty to get out of your comfort zone and walk away.
Good luck.
"
From experience, once the trust has gone its very hard to get it back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A relationship with no trust, no communication and no intimacy is fucked unless you are both prepared to address your issues and work together to try to resolve them.
You can stick your heads in the sand and float along as you are but is this fulfilling for either of you?
Bite the bullet and either try to make it work, or have the balls and honesty to get out of your comfort zone and walk away.
Good luck.
From experience, once the trust has gone its very hard to get it back."
Exactly this!  |
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Peoples double standards never fail to amaze me here.
Either have the chat and get it all out in the open,or leave .
You cheating might be why he's in touch with his ex,people often know these things instinctively.
Either way try and do the right thing for him and you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed
Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.
I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is?"
Confront or shut up? If you shut up you will always be tempted to bring it up every time you argue. Confront and get it out in the open, at least then you can be on here legitimately.
Does she know that you have been on here for the last seven months with the intention of cheating on her? How does that feel?
Does she know that you like to suck cock, eat ass, get used & get pissed on.
Who is the one cheating really? |
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"So the OP is advertising for strangers to have their cocks sucked by him and to piss on him, yet he's upset because his partner is texting his ex?
I mean, come on.
Haha but that's unemotional "
I am reminded of the joke about the definition of chutzpah. . A man who kills both his parents and then asks the court for mercy because he is an orphan... |
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