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Now I can say it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx |
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"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x"
Here's a good a place as any. I have been through some really dark times and honestly, I have some wonderful people from the forums to thank for being supportive and grounded whilst I was struggling to see the light of day.
X |
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"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx"
You might be pleasantly surprised at how many people come along to offer their support.
As PP said, no need to apologise for opening up.
Sometimes strangers have the most receptive ears. |
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"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x"
Sometimes offloading to a load of strangers can work - you do whatever you feel might help you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x"
here is probably the best place x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x"
Sometimes here is good, because most of us are strangers. Sorry you're feeling this way, stay on and chat for awhile  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x
Here's a good a place as any. I have been through some really dark times and honestly, I have some wonderful people from the forums to thank for being supportive and grounded whilst I was struggling to see the light of day.
X"
thing is i still.remeber being told I was a silly girl for speaking about it I was 13 at the time but thought it was what all girls my age had done to x but the day I told the lady that when I new It was so wrong xxx |
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"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x"
This is as good a place as any .
So many people are here because various things have happened in their life , and they are looking for nsa sex as it’s so much easier than having deep and meaningful relationships .
Never be sorry for opening up , stay strong , believe in yourself , and don’t let awful things from the past define you now and in the future . |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x
Here's a good a place as any. I have been through some really dark times and honestly, I have some wonderful people from the forums to thank for being supportive and grounded whilst I was struggling to see the light of day.
X thing is i still.remeber being told I was a silly girl for speaking about it I was 13 at the time but thought it was what all girls my age had done to x but the day I told the lady that when I new It was so wrong xxx"
Bless you and very brave to speak up about it at that age.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx"
And you will have days like that, it will never leave you. It's how you handle it. Have you been to councilling? X |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx"
Well it's something you will never forget, or get over, but hopefully you have more good times than bad.x |
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"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x
Here's a good a place as any. I have been through some really dark times and honestly, I have some wonderful people from the forums to thank for being supportive and grounded whilst I was struggling to see the light of day.
X thing is i still.remeber being told I was a silly girl for speaking about it I was 13 at the time but thought it was what all girls my age had done to x but the day I told the lady that when I new It was so wrong xxx"
Have you confided in those trained to deal with situations like yours? I know we can offer a listening ear, and some here can offer some amazing advice. I also know that sometimes we need help from other sources, from those who have a wealth of experience in specific areas xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Its when you get told at 13 it's not going to ok and get take away from my family and put in this home or that home but to get told oh is that all that happend it's like oh it must be normal then to have it happend. I so so hate him for this I hate every bit of him and I just had a bad day today about it all and can't say it out loud but can write it xx |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx"
Don't apologise for things that have happened to you. Its not your fault and does take time to get over.
Talking about it is the best start. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx"
We have all fallen in our own deep dark hole at times, just know your not alone and we are all here to to talk to |
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No matter what you feel tonight, please remember you won’t feel like it forever. Talk to as many people as you can and don’t make any decisions whilst you feel like this. It’s a shit feeling but it’ll pass. Stay on and chat please xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx
And you will have days like that, it will never leave you. It's how you handle it. Have you been to councilling? X "
Yeah I did years of it but every time I went they went over the same bits again and again it hurt to much to keep saying what happened x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Its when you get told at 13 it's not going to ok and get take away from my family and put in this home or that home but to get told oh is that all that happend it's like oh it must be normal then to have it happend. I so so hate him for this I hate every bit of him and I just had a bad day today about it all and can't say it out loud but can write it xx"
No it's not normal. Try not to let him win, you are the strong one here, now, you are the survivor, not him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be able to admit that something like that was happening to you at such a young age was far from silly, it was extremely brave. A lot of people go through their whole lives afraid to say anything because of a fear of others reactions or that they won't be believed. So keep your head up,you would be an inspiration to many  |
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By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx
And you will have days like that, it will never leave you. It's how you handle it. Have you been to councilling? X Yeah I did years of it but every time I went they went over the same bits again and again it hurt to much to keep saying what happened x"
It will have done hun but it's better to talk than to dwell xx |
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"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx
And you will have days like that, it will never leave you. It's how you handle it. Have you been to councilling? X Yeah I did years of it but every time I went they went over the same bits again and again it hurt to much to keep saying what happened x"
I found my own counselling was brutal, yet necessary. The fear of what was going to happen and how I was going to feel was probably worse than the actual sessions. Maybe give it another go? |
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"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx"
You will never get over it but it will take time to learn to live with it honey. If you need to chat I’m here....xx |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Sending a massive hug. If writing it here helps you then write away... We are here for you to rant at and hopefully support you through your dark time.
If you haven't already had counselling, talking to a professional may help you find coping strategies.
You never get over things like that but you can find ways to move on from it.
Be kind to yourself xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once had quite a profound craniosacral treatment and during it I imagined meeting myself as a child. It suddenly dawned on me how much adult stuff this poor little child had to deal with, stuff I'd never knowingly put on my own child, and how traumatised this little child was that it was somehow his fault that certain things had happened... when it clearly was not. That day I took the child me under my wing, forgave it of everything it was still holding guilt about, and finally gave it the love it had always deserved.
It was a difficult and emotional experience. But it was very important and cathartic. I hope my talking about it here resonates with you and others. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
oh my goodness I've said a bit a bout it and can't even see the screen my hole life I feel from the age 13 years old had been so shhh don't speak about it even my granny was told that I was a bad girl and had to live some where else in a care home to be sat in a corner until I said ok it was a lot he did to me but he still did wrong and I wasn't in the wrong but still got taken away for not doing anything wrong I Hate him for so many years and then try to put it in a box and lock it way deep in my head but tonight it came to the front and the box opened oh my.xxx |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"oh my goodness I've said a bit a bout it and can't even see the screen my hole life I feel from the age 13 years old had been so shhh don't speak about it even my granny was told that I was a bad girl and had to live some where else in a care home to be sat in a corner until I said ok it was a lot he did to me but he still did wrong and I wasn't in the wrong but still got taken away for not doing anything wrong I Hate him for so many years and then try to put it in a box and lock it way deep in my head but tonight it came to the front and the box opened oh my.xxx"
Bless you. You're doing really well on here talking about it I'm sure there are others who are feeling what you are right now, so you're not alone.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Big hug. It must have been awful. It's worth trying counselling again ... someone new could unlock things for you. My worry is that Fab and seeking casual sexual encounters is perhaps perpetuating things for you? But only you can know ... |
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By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"oh my goodness I've said a bit a bout it and can't even see the screen my hole life I feel from the age 13 years old had been so shhh don't speak about it even my granny was told that I was a bad girl and had to live some where else in a care home to be sat in a corner until I said ok it was a lot he did to me but he still did wrong and I wasn't in the wrong but still got taken away for not doing anything wrong I Hate him for so many years and then try to put it in a box and lock it way deep in my head but tonight it came to the front and the box opened oh my.xxx"
Not a bad thing hun could be telling you it's the right time to deal with it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Mind Website is very user-friendly. Has a section on abuse and lists the various support networks out there for both female and male survivors of abuse.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'd just like to say thank you to you all that have message and read my life on here didn't no for one moment it was going to come out on here this is like a place for fun not sadness but sending you all big hugs I really am touched by your messages thank you all xx |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I'd just like to say thank you to you all that have message and read my life on here didn't no for one moment it was going to come out on here this is like a place for fun not sadness but sending you all big hugs I really am touched by your messages thank you all xx"
I'm sure we are all glad to be of some help. It is sometimes a place of sadness, for most of us, I would think. Big Hugs sweetheart |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Napa are the National Association of People Abused in Childhood. They offer very specialised advice and support and can put you in touch with others for support.
"
even after 34 years ago from.when it happend hun xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd just like to say thank you to you all that have message and read my life on here didn't no for one moment it was going to come out on here this is like a place for fun not sadness but sending you all big hugs I really am touched by your messages thank you all xx
I'm sure we are all glad to be of some help. It is sometimes a place of sadness, for most of us, I would think. Big Hugs sweetheart "
thank you hun bless you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Big hug. It must have been awful. It's worth trying counselling again ... someone new could unlock things for you. My worry is that Fab and seeking casual sexual encounters is perhaps perpetuating things for you? But only you can know ..."
thank you for your kind words and hug xx
|
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I'd just like to say thank you to you all that have message and read my life on here didn't no for one moment it was going to come out on here this is like a place for fun not sadness but sending you all big hugs I really am touched by your messages thank you all xx
I'm sure we are all glad to be of some help. It is sometimes a place of sadness, for most of us, I would think. Big Hugs sweetheart thank you hun bless you xx"
 xx |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"Napa are the National Association of People Abused in Childhood. They offer very specialised advice and support and can put you in touch with others for support.
even after 34 years ago from.when it happend hun xxx "
Yes... They are very much there for you and other adults who were abused as a child. Check out their website. Honestly they are fantastic.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To be able to admit that something like that was happening to you at such a young age was far from silly, it was extremely brave. A lot of people go through their whole lives afraid to say anything because of a fear of others reactions or that they won't be believed. So keep your head up,you would be an inspiration to many "
thank you hun bless you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Napa are the National Association of People Abused in Childhood. They offer very specialised advice and support and can put you in touch with others for support.
even after 34 years ago from.when it happend hun xxx
Yes... They are very much there for you and other adults who were abused as a child. Check out their website. Honestly they are fantastic.
"
thank you hunnie I shall do that xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My life has been hard from it I some times think god get over it it's 34 years ago it happend but I can't tonight xx
And you will have days like that, it will never leave you. It's how you handle it. Have you been to councilling? X Yeah I did years of it but every time I went they went over the same bits again and again it hurt to much to keep saying what happened x
I found my own counselling was brutal, yet necessary. The fear of what was going to happen and how I was going to feel was probably worse than the actual sessions. Maybe give it another go?"
bless you hun I'm sorry to hear you had a bad time to big hugs to you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx
We have all fallen in our own deep dark hole at times, just know your not alone and we are all here to to talk to"
thank you hun bless you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx
Don't apologise for things that have happened to you. Its not your fault and does take time to get over.
Talking about it is the best start. "
thank you hun bless you xx |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Gosh lots of great information on here. Thank you for highlighting this subject,there could be others in your situation reading this thread, who I'm sure will gain lots of confidence and courage to seek the help they need to move forward, well done you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No need to apologise.
Sharing and offloading can help and even though I don't know you, you have my support and encouragement.
Sending good thoughts and best wishes "
god bless you hun big time every one has been so kind xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh lots of great information on here. Thank you for highlighting this subject,there could be others in your situation reading this thread, who I'm sure will gain lots of confidence and courage to seek the help they need to move forward, well done you! "
there sure is so many people that have taken the time to write to me I'm will say it means a huge amount this evening and yes hope so to hun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x"
You'll probably say more to strangers than you would your friends and family...You have nothing to lose x |
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I've recently spoken of my bouts of depression and like many people have said, there is now plenty of support available.
I can't begin to imagine what you have been through and I know it was very different from myself
MIND was a good one for me as a starting point. There is so much information on that website and everything is clearly set out.
Never feel trapped. It's ok not to be ok. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x
You'll probably say more to strangers than you would your friends and family...You have nothing to lose x"
you are so write there hun big time xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Im pleased that you felt able to write this and hope you can take some comfort in peoples responces"
yeah it was a bit like bang to the head writing it but fingers just couldn't stop writing it on here xx i so have hun xx
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've recently spoken of my bouts of depression and like many people have said, there is now plenty of support available.
I can't begin to imagine what you have been through and I know it was very different from myself
MIND was a good one for me as a starting point. There is so much information on that website and everything is clearly set out.
Never feel trapped. It's ok not to be ok. "
bless you hun I just found my self writing on here about it all which is a blessing to be honset as had lots of lovely messages xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Please don't ever apologise for opening up.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Xx thank you hun x sorry so not the place thou Here really eh x
This is as good a place as any .
So many people are here because various things have happened in their life , and they are looking for nsa sex as it’s so much easier than having deep and meaningful relationships .
Never be sorry for opening up , stay strong , believe in yourself , and don’t let awful things from the past define you now and in the future ."
this is so true. hugs and kisses from me to make you feel better. cheers |
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"I've recently spoken of my bouts of depression and like many people have said, there is now plenty of support available.
I can't begin to imagine what you have been through and I know it was very different from myself
MIND was a good one for me as a starting point. There is so much information on that website and everything is clearly set out.
Never feel trapped. It's ok not to be ok. bless you hun I just found my self writing on here about it all which is a blessing to be honset as had lots of lovely messages xx"
I've started keeping a journal, only got something like 7 entries in it so far but I agree, its good to get those thoughts out. Here can be incredibly supportive at times and I got some good messages.
I finished a Health and Well-being course a couple of weeks ago which looked at all kinds of things generally concerning mental health and am trying to put some of the things we covered into my life and into the journal.
I'm expecting good days and bad days and now know it's always going to be a part of me, but I will try and not let it define me.
It took me months to start talking and now no bugger can shut me up!
You do what feels best and I'm just one of all these supportive and lovely (although self praise is no recommendation) people that will be around to listen to anything that you want to say.
|
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"I've recently spoken of my bouts of depression and like many people have said, there is now plenty of support available.
I can't begin to imagine what you have been through and I know it was very different from myself
MIND was a good one for me as a starting point. There is so much information on that website and everything is clearly set out.
Never feel trapped. It's ok not to be ok. bless you hun I just found my self writing on here about it all which is a blessing to be honset as had lots of lovely messages xx
I've started keeping a journal, only got something like 7 entries in it so far but I agree, its good to get those thoughts out. Here can be incredibly supportive at times and I got some good messages.
I finished a Health and Well-being course a couple of weeks ago which looked at all kinds of things generally concerning mental health and am trying to put some of the things we covered into my life and into the journal.
I'm expecting good days and bad days and now know it's always going to be a part of me, but I will try and not let it define me.
It took me months to start talking and now no bugger can shut me up!
You do what feels best and I'm just one of all these supportive and lovely (although self praise is no recommendation) people that will be around to listen to anything that you want to say.
"
i like reading about your progress youve done well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx"
It's not your fault |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brillant way of looking at it, I liked the mention of it not being your fault, going back picturing yourself as the child it brings acceptance and once you can accept I feel the you can start to move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once had quite a profound craniosacral treatment and during it I imagined meeting myself as a child. It suddenly dawned on me how much adult stuff this poor little child had to deal with, stuff I'd never knowingly put on my own child, and how traumatised this little child was that it was somehow his fault that certain
things had happened... when it clearly was not. That day I took the child me under my wing, forgave it of everything it was still holding guilt about, and finally gave it the love it had always deserved.
It was a difficult and emotional experience. But it was very important and cathartic. I hope my talking about it here resonates with you and others. "
My reply was to this |
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
"Gosh lots of great information on here. Thank you for highlighting this subject,there could be others in your situation reading this thread, who I'm sure will gain lots of confidence and courage to seek the help they need to move forward, well done you! "
Absolutely agree with this ,well done you at 13 and now .you are one brave lady and have my utter respect |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I was 13 and he used to come in and say shhh our secrete no one's else .I did at that age think it was normal and not to be spoken about with others until one day I did and then my life changed for ever I was taken away and was asked so many things I didn't no it was wrong at the time it was of course and then I was made to sit and feel like I did wrong coz I was taken away and in care homes.i did get to see him in a centre place and I said I was sorry that I spoke up and he said no it's ok I'm wrong it shouldn't of happened. The next time I see him was like 6 months later after being taken away I wanted to KIll him I Scream at him so much i had no voice left and didn't see him again but I now feel like it's been locked away for far to long and my head is in bits as the box is opened now and I find it hard to push it back . I have spoken to my mother about it all once when she left him for 2 days and went back to him as I was in care which I never forgive her for staying with him. Now I see them if i walk in town and i think wow how can you stay with him but she says he is her life so I leave them to it . I got to ask a social worker many years ago to see my case file and my Lord 2 pages with bits wrote on it and says on one bit we believe this young lady has a werid mind and thinks things up .then on the second page was oh the father has said he did it .the child was telling the truth then. That was all on my papers from then wouldn't stand up in court now .So in other words they said I made it up and if he didn't say yes it happend no one would of believed me . so in a strange way I thanked him for say yes he did it .if you no what I mean x but now today I will say I feel better for getting a bit of my box opened but want to close it again really as it's to much pain in my heart and head this morning xxxx
But so much hugs to you all that have message and read my story about me god bless you all and huges to you all xxxxxxxxxx
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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago
A world all of his own |
" I was 13 and he used to come in and say shhh our secrete no one's else .I did at that age think it was normal and not to be spoken about with others until one day I did and then my life changed for ever I was taken away and was asked so many things I didn't no it was wrong at the time it was of course and then I was made to sit and feel like I did wrong coz I was taken away and in care homes.i did get to see him in a centre place and I said I was sorry that I spoke up and he said no it's ok I'm wrong it shouldn't of happened. The next time I see him was like 6 months later after being taken away I wanted to KIll him I Scream at him so much i had no voice left and didn't see him again but I now feel like it's been locked away for far to long and my head is in bits as the box is opened now and I find it hard to push it back . I have spoken to my mother about it all once when she left him for 2 days and went back to him as I was in care which I never forgive her for staying with him. Now I see them if i walk in town and i think wow how can you stay with him but she says he is her life so I leave them to it . I got to ask a social worker many years ago to see my case file and my Lord 2 pages with bits wrote on it and says on one bit we believe this young lady has a werid mind and thinks things up .then on the second page was oh the father has said he did it .the child was telling the truth then. That was all on my papers from then wouldn't stand up in court now .So in other words they said I made it up and if he didn't say yes it happend no one would of believed me . so in a strange way I thanked him for say yes he did it .if you no what I mean x but now today I will say I feel better for getting a bit of my box opened but want to close it again really as it's to much pain in my heart and head this morning xxxx
But so much hugs to you all that have message and read my story about me god bless you all and huges to you all xxxxxxxxxx
"
It's heart breaking that it happened to you and unbelievable that the system has failed you so badly 
Sending you a very gentle but big hug x |
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As suspected, a thread full of compassionate sincere warm and empathetic souls.
This is the type of thread that restores your faith.
OP, if you've had one minute of comfort from your post it's been worth it.
Never reproach yourself for thing you had no control over or responsibility for.
Don't take ownership of someone else's wrongdoing.
There's been some great suggestions about where to get some support from.
I hope your thread, the responses and the suggestions help you move forward.
Often we can't move forward until we reach out.
Hugs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, just know there are people who care about you and would never want you to come to any harm. I have experience in helping people who have been abused in many different ways.
My inbox is always open for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I was 13 and he used to come in and say shhh our secrete no one's else .I did at that age think it was normal and not to be spoken about with others until one day I did and then my life changed for ever I was taken away and was asked so many things I didn't no it was wrong at the time it was of course and then I was made to sit and feel like I did wrong coz I was taken away and in care homes.i did get to see him in a centre place and I said I was sorry that I spoke up and he said no it's ok I'm wrong it shouldn't of happened. The next time I see him was like 6 months later after being taken away I wanted to KIll him I Scream at him so much i had no voice left and didn't see him again but I now feel like it's been locked away for far to long and my head is in bits as the box is opened now and I find it hard to push it back . I have spoken to my mother about it all once when she left him for 2 days and went back to him as I was in care which I never forgive her for staying with him. Now I see them if i walk in town and i think wow how can you stay with him but she says he is her life so I leave them to it . I got to ask a social worker many years ago to see my case file and my Lord 2 pages with bits wrote on it and says on one bit we believe this young lady has a werid mind and thinks things up .then on the second page was oh the father has said he did it .the child was telling the truth then. That was all on my papers from then wouldn't stand up in court now .So in other words they said I made it up and if he didn't say yes it happend no one would of believed me . so in a strange way I thanked him for say yes he did it .if you no what I mean x but now today I will say I feel better for getting a bit of my box opened but want to close it again really as it's to much pain in my heart and head this morning xxxx
But so much hugs to you all that have message and read my story about me god bless you all and huges to you all xxxxxxxxxx
It's heart breaking that it happened to you and unbelievable that the system has failed you so badly
Sending you a very gentle but big hug x"
thank you hun bless you form the hugs xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx"
First thing you should never apologise, I can’t imagine what you have or are going through but through some work I’ve done in the past opening up and talking is a great way to get the help and a support you need to get through it.
Really hope you are ok, do you have family or friends you could talk to? X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As suspected, a thread full of compassionate sincere warm and empathetic souls.
This is the type of thread that restores your faith.
OP, if you've had one minute of comfort from your post it's been worth it.
Never reproach yourself for thing you had no control over or responsibility for.
Don't take ownership of someone else's wrongdoing.
There's been some great suggestions about where to get some support from.
I hope your thread, the responses and the suggestions help you move forward.
Often we can't move forward until we reach out.
Hugs."
bless you I have been messaged lots and Deffo will chat to some one today about more of this big hugs to all today xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, just know there are people who care about you and would never want you to come to any harm. I have experience in helping people who have been abused in many different ways.
My inbox is always open for you xx"
bless you hun and thank you for your kind words and hug from me to you today for messaging me as well xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm so in a deep dark hole
I can't seem to pull myself together at all. im still trying to get over being a child that was abused it's been 34 years ago when it started I'm so down tonight my head hurts xx sorry just needed to get it out tonight xx
First thing you should never apologise, I can’t imagine what you have or are going through but through some work I’ve done in the past opening up and talking is a great way to get the help and a support you need to get through it.
Really hope you are ok, do you have family or friends you could talk to? X"
bless you thank you for your kind words and and I'm gong to chat today to some one about it all and no family are not one to as they stick together really but I'm not in that part of there life's xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I just thought I'd let you all no I've got a docs appment today and see what might happend thank you all again for your kind words xxx
Excellent news OP.
Tiny steps....... "
yeah just after all this time thou but I'll get there eh x |
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"I just thought I'd let you all no I've got a docs appment today and see what might happend thank you all again for your kind words xxx
Excellent news OP.
Tiny steps.......
yeah just after all this time thou but I'll get there eh x"
Doesn't matter that it's taken a while. It's the getting there that counts.
A week ago you weren't ready to start the journey. Today you are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry haven’t read all the replies , but I only discussed my childhood experiences to a nurse at a clinic back in April she was surprised I got to now 44 year old without addressing these incidents and getting help , she referred my to talking therapies and after doing a telephone consultation which was emotionally draining I got added to a waiting list (22 weeks) it took but going for my first counselling session tomorrow , got no idea what to expect or if it’s going to help me. But I’ve got nothing to lose and it’s the first step for me to fix old wounds.
Really hope you get the help and support you need, it’s not a good place living with these things bottled up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I just thought I'd let you all no I've got a docs appment today and see what might happend thank you all again for your kind words xxx
Excellent news OP.
Tiny steps.......
yeah just after all this time thou but I'll get there eh x
Doesn't matter that it's taken a while. It's the getting there that counts.
A week ago you weren't ready to start the journey. Today you are.
"
yeah your so right there hun I no what you mean x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry haven’t read all the replies , but I only discussed my childhood experiences to a nurse at a clinic back in April she was surprised I got to now 44 year old without addressing these incidents and getting help , she referred my to talking therapies and after doing a telephone consultation which was emotionally draining I got added to a waiting list (22 weeks) it took but going for my first counselling session tomorrow , got no idea what to expect or if it’s going to help me. But I’ve got nothing to lose and it’s the first step for me to fix old wounds.
Really hope you get the help and support you need, it’s not a good place living with these things bottled up"
oh my well my love I wish you the very best for tomorrow and hope it all helps you to speak about all of what you went throu god bless you so much xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Xxxxx sending lots of love!!! No one should have to go through that, your a SURVIVER, for that you should be really proud of yourself. Stay strong and keep going. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Xxxxx sending lots of love!!! No one should have to go through that, your a SURVIVER, for that you should be really proud of yourself. Stay strong and keep going."
I feel like I've might of opened up a bit now more and thank you for your kind words xx
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