FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you cope at normal vanilla partys and clubs.
How do you cope at normal vanilla partys and clubs.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was at a party had one or two drinks and found yourself flirting having fun and do you tell them your a swinger ?? and have open friendships with others if thay start coming on to you. I am not good at vanilla partys and normal clubs as i feel like i have to hold back on the person i am . Family partys are ok . I love clubs like chams as feel i am with people like me. xxjo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we go to a vanilla party, people know we are a couple, if they start flirting with us.. we would flirt back.. but tbh.. we have never had that situation.. one can dream though.. vanilla parties can be so boring if you go to the wrong ones.. and you start to feel like why doesnt everyone just take of their clothes it would be alot more interesting that way lol |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
OMG!! That is very difficult! I tend to gaze at people in a quite inapropriate way and may have to check myself before I say something to an attractive person!
We never mention that we are swingers, but I must confess that I have dropped broad, flirty hints that we are interested!
Not just parties either! We were at out towns Christmas Light switchon last weekend and I was chatting up a nice lady on a charity stall. It got quite errr, hot so I bought some raffle tickets and gave them my number! Well, a guy can dream!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well i found clubing having fun was not easy . In the end i would not go to the partys just back from a weeks holiday in the sun ... and could not risk letting myself down as it was free drinks all night and most not English . We Was there the first night had this couple coming on to us but felt others was looking at us in a strange way like it was inapropriate .. Was on tablets to from doc as had flu thing and just 1 or 2 drinks go to my head . Just not easy better when my familys there as thay keep me in cheek , lol maybe next holday with just us be swingers holiday over seas . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" lol maybe next holday with just us be swingers holiday over seas ."
sounds like a plan.. that's gonna be our first over seas holiday together. if we ever get round to saving LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm able to enjoy a curry night at Wetherspoons equally as high tea at the Ritz.
I'm able to act appropriately when dealing with QCs as I am with the granny who tripped on a loose pavement.
I'm able to look at my daughter's boyfriend, wearing just his boxers and ask him if he isn't cold without seeing him in a sexual way whatsoever.
I'm able to go to a party, with others and not think about swinging!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" lol maybe next holday with just us be swingers holiday over seas .
sounds like a plan.. that's gonna be our first over seas holiday together. if we ever get round to saving LOL "
well i keep saying we should go ...... and it would sort this out . I hated feeling like this . And told theres some lovely places over seas for us swingers . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm able to enjoy a curry night at Wetherspoons equally as high tea at the Ritz.
I'm able to act appropriately when dealing with QCs as I am with the granny who tripped on a loose pavement.
I'm able to look at my daughter's boyfriend, wearing just his boxers and ask him if he isn't cold without seeing him in a sexual way whatsoever.
I'm able to go to a party, with others and not think about swinging! "
I have done all that for years and been normal with family and friends i do it i have too. People who flirt with me have fun i just do not wish to over step the mark. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a dj, I do a lot of vanilla parties, I often find myself thinking, I wonder if there are any swingers in here, but never ask as it just isnt the done thing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a dj, I do a lot of vanilla parties, I often find myself thinking, I wonder if there are any swingers in here, but never ask as it just isnt the done thing"
know but if thay come on to you ?? what do you do ??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cope quite well at vanilla parties and girly nights out on the town. When I'm not in a swinging environment and when I've got a dress covering my underwear then I revert back to woman out enjoying herself with friends with no sexual feelings whatsoever.
If a guy comes onto me in a bar and says something suggestive I will tell him where to go. In a swinging club I wouldn't, I'd flirt and laugh but obviously if I wasn't interested in playing I'd be upfront if he suggested it and say no, but I wouldn't take offence at any sexual innuendo thrown my way.
If in a swinging club and I'm standing there with my tits out I'd expect to be ogled. If out with friends I wouldn't expect my breasts to be leered at, well not quite so openly anyway, and I wouldn't be impressed if a man started wanking next to me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm able to enjoy a curry night at Wetherspoons equally as high tea at the Ritz "
Surely you can go for a higher class of curry than Wetherspoons' pale imitation of Indian food?!!! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
" I was at a party had one or two drinks and found yourself flirting having fun and do you tell them your a swinger ?? and have open friendships with others if thay start coming on to you. I am not good at vanilla partys and normal clubs as i feel like i have to hold back on the person i am . Family partys are ok . I love clubs like chams as feel i am with people like me. xxjo "
Find it very easy if I'm honest but then I tend to behave totally different in vanilla situations than in a swinging environment.
At work I am nicknamed Icy Knickers and it always make me chuckle and think to myself, if only you knew.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think this is unintentionally a very funny thread, unless of course its a wind up."
no its no wind up ... just home from a weeks holiday and our hotel had partys most nights at the club and had one or two coming on to me ....... and had there wifes looking on i was not sure how to cope .. and never wished to up set them. So found it best not to go. I go away on holidays alot with friend s and family and john and i do a holiday together for a week now and again . Just next time maybe a swingers hotel . lol x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think this is unintentionally a very funny thread, unless of course its a wind up. no its no wind up ... just home from a weeks holiday and our hotel had partys most nights at the club and had one or two coming on to me ....... and had there wifes looking on i was not sure how to cope .. and never wished to up set them. So found it best not to go. I go away on holidays alot with friend s and family and john and i do a holiday together for a week now and again . Just next time maybe a swingers hotel . lol x"
I'm sure they were in enough trouble without you having to do anything. |
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"As a dj, I do a lot of vanilla parties, I often find myself thinking, I wonder if there are any swingers in here, but never ask as it just isnt the done thing"
Isn't there some record you could play that would give you a clue?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a dj, I do a lot of vanilla parties, I often find myself thinking, I wonder if there are any swingers in here, but never ask as it just isnt the done thingknow but if thay come on to you ?? what do you do ??"
It has happened in the past, I just tend to smile and make a joke of it, as I am at work, unless they are really fit and want my body to do all sorts of depraved things with  |
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We enjoy spontaneous meets, and like to shock others by telling that we are swingers as well as teasing and being flirtatious, so we sometimes do let on and test the water. It does seem to be the perfect end to a good night out or party when it happens. There have also been a few times when we have thought back afterwards (and somewhat more soberly) wondering if we did the right thing by letting on and would the wrong people find out, but it is a risk and sometimes has paid off! More often than not we usually find that the others can't handle it though - examples: Telling a random guy in a queue for a night club. He then asked me (m) if he could snog f. I told him to ask her not me, but even though he wanted to, he couldn't do it. In another night club I was dancing with a girl and it was becoming a bit bump and grind. She checked to see if I had a wedding ring on and when she didn't see one asked if I was married. I told her 'no' but said that I had a partner, so she asked where she was. I told her that she was dancing with that guy over there and pointed them out. She couldn't handle it at all and fled! Its funny though, the girls in gay bars don't sem to have a problem getting it on with f in front of me - I don't have probelm with it either!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I usually start wanking and it breaks the ice where ever I am."
Thats some strong stuff you make there funky 
Will put sunglasses on if im ever in your vicinity |
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"I usually start wanking and it breaks the ice where ever I am.
Thats some strong stuff you make there funky
Will put sunglasses on if im ever in your vicinity"
Hehehehehehehe I didn't mean my mansalt was acidic. I meant my cock is sharp and pointed like an ice pick. |
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I behave the same at both events. I am chatty, love to dance and very flirty. The difference is one, I might ask if she/they want to take it further on the night the other, I might ask if she wants to take it further, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Since we started going swingers clubs about 8 year back we find vanilla parties real boring to be honest, even pubs and vanilla clubs are the same.
We went to a restaurant a few weeks back and Shaz wanted to take her clothes of
Tony |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since we started going swingers clubs about 8 year back we find vanilla parties real boring to be honest, even pubs and vanilla clubs are the same.
We went to a restaurant a few weeks back and Shaz wanted to take her clothes of
Tony How did you stop her taking her thing off .. lol I bet it would have made the other peoples night there , xx "
Telling her we both looked like pot bellied pigs as we had eaten so much did the trick
Tony |
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2How do you cope at normal vanilla partys and clubs.2
I can't say I've ever had to think about it in terms of 'coping'.... I have no problem adopting the appropriate behaviour for my surroundings and still be able to enjoy myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"2How do you cope at normal vanilla partys and clubs.2
I can't say I've ever had to think about it in terms of 'coping'.... I have no problem adopting the appropriate behaviour for my surroundings and still be able to enjoy myself."
yes but if a person comes on to you at the normal party and you flirt get on well do you stop it there or ask if thay are into swinging . Normal partys and clubs are ok untill i have this .. i find . |
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"2How do you cope at normal vanilla partys and clubs.2
I can't say I've ever had to think about it in terms of 'coping'.... I have no problem adopting the appropriate behaviour for my surroundings and still be able to enjoy myself. yes but if a person comes on to you at the normal party and you flirt get on well do you stop it there or ask if thay are into swinging . Normal partys and clubs are ok untill i have this .. i find . "
Why would I have to tell them about swinging.... vanilla people do have sex... quite a lot of it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"2How do you cope at normal vanilla partys and clubs.2
I can't say I've ever had to think about it in terms of 'coping'.... I have no problem adopting the appropriate behaviour for my surroundings and still be able to enjoy myself. yes but if a person comes on to you at the normal party and you flirt get on well do you stop it there or ask if thay are into swinging . Normal partys and clubs are ok untill i have this .. i find .
Why would I have to tell them about swinging.... vanilla people do have sex... quite a lot of it."
I know its just not easy knowing how far to go .. like on holiday ..hate to over step the mark as i am open about stuff and i know some cant cope . Even if thay come on to me flirting and part of a couple . Just would like to say how things are and not always easy . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's my point when I have had a few to many and horny I have let it slip in the past. But my friends my male buddies who I normally go out with thought I was joking so I just blagged it and they were good enough to not go there lol.
But going to be interesting next Friday as no sex for 3 months plus and getting to the point that is all I can think about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So would it be a good idea to have a small badge or necklace with a symbol on which told others (who knew what the badge ment ) that your were from fab ,, or a swinger ?
or would it cause more problems ??
If i you saw someone from Fab out up town how could you ask them ??? secrect code ?? should you ask them ?
Just wondered ,, as i would love to chat and say hello to other like minded people . but would hate to put them in a hard position !
Thanks P |
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"So would it be a good idea to have a small badge or necklace with a symbol on which told others (who knew what the badge ment ) that your were from fab ,, or a swinger ? "
Obviously not as they have been around for years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So would it be a good idea to have a small badge or necklace with a symbol on which told others (who knew what the badge ment ) that your were from fab ,, or a swinger ?
Obviously not as they have been around for years."
what have been around for years ?? |
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"So would it be a good idea to have a small badge or necklace with a symbol on which told others (who knew what the badge ment ) that your were from fab ,, or a swinger ?
Obviously not as they have been around for years.
what have been around for years ?? "
Badges, pins, pendants etc for swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So would it be a good idea to have a small badge or necklace with a symbol on which told others (who knew what the badge ment ) that your were from fab ,, or a swinger ?
or would it cause more problems ??
If i you saw someone from Fab out up town how could you ask them ??? secrect code ?? should you ask them ?
Just wondered ,, as i would love to chat and say hello to other like minded people . but would hate to put them in a hard position !
Thanks P"
I couldn't imagine anything worse than something that would identify me in that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so would you ask about it if you see someone wearing one ?
Probably not.
I don't feel the need to approach complete strangers in the street or supermarket to discuss their sexual activities.
But if you were out at a party ,, would it be ok to ask ??
"
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"so would you ask about it if you see someone wearing one ?
Probably not.
I don't feel the need to approach complete strangers in the street or supermarket to discuss their sexual activities.
But if you were out at a party ,, would it be ok to ask ??
"
If I was at a swinging party I wouldn't need to. |
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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago
yorkshire |
" I was at a party had one or two drinks and found yourself flirting having fun and do you tell them your a swinger ?? and have open friendships with others if thay start coming on to you. I am not good at vanilla partys and normal clubs as i feel like i have to hold back on the person i am . Family partys are ok . I love clubs like chams as feel i am with people like me. xxjo "
It can be a little tricky in pub, etc.
I owned a pub and people start flirting with you iin the bar. I did find hard not ask if they swong.
Plus the added nightmare, as swing club opned a few miles away, it very hard some times to tell who was a swinger and who was not.
I hated it if i was serving and a lady/ couple i new started talking about the club in th main bar area. Or flirting as I was pulling pints.
You try serving food with a hard on not fun  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I was at a party had one or two drinks and found yourself flirting having fun and do you tell them your a swinger ?? and have open friendships with others if thay start coming on to you. I am not good at vanilla partys and normal clubs as i feel like i have to hold back on the person i am . Family partys are ok . I love clubs like chams as feel i am with people like me. xxjo
It can be a little tricky in pub, etc.
I owned a pub and people start flirting with you iin the bar. I did find hard not ask if they swong.
Plus the added nightmare, as swing club opned a few miles away, it very hard some times to tell who was a swinger and who was not.
I hated it if i was serving and a lady/ couple i new started talking about the club in th main bar area. Or flirting as I was pulling pints.
You try serving food with a hard on not fun "
may give her somthing to look at if tight pants on , lol ... but its not easy sorting them flirty vanillas out. x |
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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago
yorkshire |
"I've never been a club so I duno ;( no ones took me swing club yet"
You can go by your self.
Just check the reviews out and club website.
I had one coup[le see use to pinch my bum everytime i went past.
Or ask questions like what your bed like here.
ian |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
Never been one for 'normal' or vanilla. Went through the acid house and 'e' culture which of course cannot be considered normal at all and anything could happen there you'd just have to determine whether or not you were hallucinating.
Not into mainstream pop or cheesey club music at all so wouldn't go in them.
Normal bars - Well we are both a bit cheeky looking around for likeminded and end up having a laugh and a mutual flirt when we do. Lads seem to soon see something different about Mrs FJ wheres as ladies can sometimes see what we're upto. Ensuring they are not made to feel uncomfortable of course. |
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