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Sex issues
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sex feels really one-way with my wife and sometimes, not all the time, I'd love it if it were the other way round.
She works shifts, we've got kids so I understand and appreciate she's tired all the time. I get that. But it's a hard feeling to shake after not feeling sexually attractive. Even though I know it may not be the case, actions (or lack of) seem louder than words at the moment.
It's reached a point where I've given up trying to initiate some kind of sexual activity that doesn't involve me just giving.
Am I just being selfish? Does anyone else have to deal with this kind of thing at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has it always been that way? Have you tried asking her out for a date? No sex on the cards, just a 'date' where you spend time together to reconnect. Find the things that you loved about each other. |
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The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita"
Leave fab first of all, then follow all other advice. |
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"Sex feels really one-way with my wife and sometimes, not all the time, I'd love it if it were the other way round.
She works shifts, we've got kids so I understand and appreciate she's tired all the time. I get that. But it's a hard feeling to shake after not feeling sexually attractive. Even though I know it may not be the case, actions (or lack of) seem louder than words at the moment.
It's reached a point where I've given up trying to initiate some kind of sexual activity that doesn't involve me just giving.
Am I just being selfish? Does anyone else have to deal with this kind of thing at all?"
I think you need to leave Fab and discuss things with your wife OP. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita"
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month  |
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month "
Are you sure she's ok with it?
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month
Are you sure she's ok with it?
"
Yeah we've spoken at length about it for years. |
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month
Are you sure she's ok with it?
Yeah we've spoken at length about it for years."
Why don't you chat to her about this problem then? Say you'd like her to do stuff too. Ask her if there's anything stopping her. |
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"Maybe she should to us about it
At length of course 
Haha we barely get to talk just lately so that's doubtful "
Then you need to make time.
This is a joint problem, set aside an hour even if it means being late to bed one night. |
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month
Are you sure she's ok with it?
Yeah we've spoken at length about it for years."
Are you sure? The wording of your introduction doesn’t come over in that respect. It’s a man whinging he is not getting sex at home but if your wife knows you are on here then why the whinging, you should be respecting her more if she has given you permission to be here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month
Are you sure she's ok with it?
Yeah we've spoken at length about it for years.
Why don't you chat to her about this problem then? Say you'd like her to do stuff too. Ask her if there's anything stopping her."
I don't want to make her feel like she's doing something wrong. It's a sensitive area really and clearly my issue not hers. She does lack a bit of self confidence with how she looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do things for her. Run her a bath. Do the dishes. Little things that can relieve the pressure and relax her. But don’t just do it once and expect results"
This. So much this. Pick up the hoover once a week and cook a couple of meals, without any input from her, if you aren’t doing that already. Don’t act like you need a medal for it or expect anything in return. Just lighten her load. I think you’ll be surprised how much difference that will make. |
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"Maybe she should to us about it
At length of course
Haha we barely get to talk just lately so that's doubtful "
And there lies your problem... you need to communicate and get to the bottom of the problem.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe she should to us about it
At length of course
Haha we barely get to talk just lately so that's doubtful
And there lies your problem... you need to communicate and get to the bottom of the problem.
Nita "
Up the bottom would be better |
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month
Are you sure she's ok with it?
Yeah we've spoken at length about it for years.
Why don't you chat to her about this problem then? Say you'd like her to do stuff too. Ask her if there's anything stopping her.
I don't want to make her feel like she's doing something wrong. It's a sensitive area really and clearly my issue not hers. She does lack a bit of self confidence with how she looks."
I don't know much but one thing I know for sure is that you won't solve this by not talking. If you're unhappy with your sex life it isn't just your issue its an issue for you both. You're on here discussing her, I'm darn sure she would be mortified to discover that and much prefer you to approach her in a loving and tactful way.
You say she lacks confidence, work on that with her. You might find that is linked to her passivity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe she should to us about it
At length of course
Haha we barely get to talk just lately so that's doubtful
And there lies your problem... you need to communicate and get to the bottom of the problem.
Nita
Up the bottom would be better "
It’s really lovely that you’re taking this so seriously 
You really really need to try sitting down and having a serious conversation with your wife. She may be feeling the same way c |
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"Everyone's like yeah run around after her
She could be living in the lap of luxury for all we know  "
There's a big difference between living in luxury and feeling loved and appreciated. They are also not communicating well at the moment.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been with my wife since we were kids. In a long term relationship there are times when sex doesnt come top of the agenda. My wife been through the menopause and for what felt like ages she had no interest I understood she was going through tough time so never pressured her at all just lots of hugs n kisses to let her know I still loved her loads. Shes over the worst now and is a horny little bitch now. Life is full of ups and downs but stick with the one you love and understand her feelings not blame her for feeling down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone's like yeah run around after her
She could be living in the lap of luxury for all we know "
True, but chances are she isn’t..
The OPs not had the sex he wants for *a month* and he’s on here.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone's like yeah run around after her
She could be living in the lap of luxury for all we know "
I make tea, look after the kids and get them to bed, massage her feet, scratch her back and help around the house every day. I wouldn't say lap of luxury but we share the load. Plus she hates baths lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I think your past talking and sorting issues as you don’t seem to be wanting genuine advice, you’ve sought other means (here) to get your sexual needs. I think there’s a lot more to this and I don’t think the answer lays within this forum or site as a whole. |
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Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Been with my wife since we were kids. In a long term relationship there are times when sex doesnt come top of the agenda. My wife been through the menopause and for what felt like ages she had no interest I understood she was going through tough time so never pressured her at all just lots of hugs n kisses to let her know I still loved her loads. Shes over the worst now and is a horny little bitch now. Life is full of ups and downs but stick with the one you love and understand her feelings not blame her for feeling down. "
This is the nicest and most helpful advice so far thanks so much xx No menopause yet but kids, shifts and body confidence issues definitely seem like the root of it. Xx |
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"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month "
Perhaps she just feels you’re only interested in her for sex? I agree with some of the other replies, putting in the groundwork is more likely to make her feel sexy and desirable. Kisses, cuddles, dates, rubbing her feet, cooking for her etc. .. just showing affection can go a long way.
Unhappy wives don’t often feel like having sex. Communication is key for any good relationship. You having sex with other people (with or without her permission) is highly unlikely to make her feel loved and desirable.
Best of luck.
Lou x |
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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago
wherever |
She works shifts and has kids. OP your not leaving the majority of the childcare and housework to her are you? If I had to work, cook, clean, mind the Childers and all the other crap while there was another adult I’m the house don’t think I’d be wanting to get sexy with that person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other. "
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective |
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Sorry OP but you are starting to sound selfish.
My sex drive isn't as high as Cals most of the time. I work long days and rarely want sex of an evening...this is not a problem.
Our relationship is so much more than just sex.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The above and also shifts are really tiring which can kill your sex drive.
I would suggest showing you care and aren't only interested in sex. Little things can go a long way and cuddles can evolve into sex.
Oh and leave Fab. If you truly love her this isn't a good idea in my mind.
Nita
I do show her I care a lot, not just for sex.
My sex drive is just high, which is why I come on here to find likeminded people. I've got permission which we're both ok with.
Maybe it's just a fallow month
Perhaps she just feels you’re only interested in her for sex? I agree with some of the other replies, putting in the groundwork is more likely to make her feel sexy and desirable. Kisses, cuddles, dates, rubbing her feet, cooking for her etc. .. just showing affection can go a long way.
Unhappy wives don’t often feel like having sex. Communication is key for any good relationship. You having sex with other people (with or without her permission) is highly unlikely to make her feel loved and desirable.
Best of luck.
Lou x "
See my post above xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP but you are starting to sound selfish.
My sex drive isn't as high as Cals most of the time. I work long days and rarely want sex of an evening...this is not a problem.
Our relationship is so much more than just sex.
Nita"
Sounds like my marriage. I have hardly any sex drive, hardly ever have sex yet...not a problem for my husband
Id follow all of the advice given OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She works shifts and has kids. OP your not leaving the majority of the childcare and housework to her are you? If I had to work, cook, clean, mind the Childers and all the other crap while there was another adult I’m the house don’t think I’d be wanting to get sexy with that person. "
Nope. I'm a respectful, kind and very giving person. I look after my family and look after my wife x It's just every now and again I feel like I need to talk about my overpowering need for sex.
I haven't met anyone on here by the way or having sex with other people, just looking for nice people with good advice. |
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"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective"
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out? |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP but you are starting to sound selfish.
My sex drive isn't as high as Cals most of the time. I work long days and rarely want sex of an evening...this is not a problem.
Our relationship is so much more than just sex.
Nita
Sounds like my marriage. I have hardly any sex drive, hardly ever have sex yet...not a problem for my husband
Id follow all of the advice given OP"
Can I ask why your on here? I’m just curious. Don’t want to deviate from op so you can PM me x
|
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"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?"
Great advice.
OK you might not have met anyone but based on your profile you are wanting to do so.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out? "
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?"
I don’t think the op is being honest, he’s biased, shock horror |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X"
Yet your pics and profile speak different! And your above replies |
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"Sorry OP but you are starting to sound selfish.
My sex drive isn't as high as Cals most of the time. I work long days and rarely want sex of an evening...this is not a problem.
Our relationship is so much more than just sex.
Nita
Sounds like my marriage. I have hardly any sex drive, hardly ever have sex yet...not a problem for my husband
Id follow all of the advice given OP"
Oh my sex drive is fine when I'm not tired 
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
Yet your pics and profile speak different! And your above replies "
Yeah. Maybe I'm just a messed up guy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry OP but you are starting to sound selfish.
My sex drive isn't as high as Cals most of the time. I work long days and rarely want sex of an evening...this is not a problem.
Our relationship is so much more than just sex.
Nita
Sounds like my marriage. I have hardly any sex drive, hardly ever have sex yet...not a problem for my husband
Id follow all of the advice given OP
Oh my sex drive is fine when I'm not tired
Nita"
I’m jealous!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X"
Does she know your BS? Have you spoke about things like this? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
Does she know your BS? Have you spoke about things like this?"
Yeah we've talked about that. She's said to just try it if that's what I want to try. X |
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"Sorry OP but you are starting to sound selfish.
My sex drive isn't as high as Cals most of the time. I work long days and rarely want sex of an evening...this is not a problem.
Our relationship is so much more than just sex.
Nita
Sounds like my marriage. I have hardly any sex drive, hardly ever have sex yet...not a problem for my husband
Id follow all of the advice given OP
Oh my sex drive is fine when I'm not tired
Nita
I’m jealous!!!! "
the problem is it seems to work best on far too many occasions when Cal isn't home
Sorry for hijacking the thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She works shifts and has kids. OP your not leaving the majority of the childcare and housework to her are you? If I had to work, cook, clean, mind the Childers and all the other crap while there was another adult I’m the house don’t think I’d be wanting to get sexy with that person.
Nope. I'm a respectful, kind and very giving person. I look after my family and look after my wife x It's just every now and again I feel like I need to talk about my overpowering need for sex.
I haven't met anyone on here by the way or having sex with other people, just looking for nice people with good advice."
And that is as good a reason as any to be on here to be fair. We all have to let the pressure out somewhere.
I dont think I can offer anything meaningful really. But feeling unhappy with the way you look,added to all the other life stresses sometimes we just dont want sex. Making a big deal of it makes it worse most times too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
Does she know your BS? Have you spoke about things like this?
Yeah we've talked about that. She's said to just try it if that's what I want to try. X"
Ok, so how did you talk about you trying it? How does she think your going to go about it? I think seriously that she might be feeling the same about you !! As in the sex has gone but she might be finding others sexually attractive |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?
Great advice.
OK you might not have met anyone but based on your profile you are wanting to do so.
Nita "
As a couple they don't even need to meet... Just enjoy the flirty chat and fantasy, help her feel sexy again.
Fab needn't be all about meets. We don't meet at the moment yet here we are enjoying the site. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"She works shifts and has kids. OP your not leaving the majority of the childcare and housework to her are you? If I had to work, cook, clean, mind the Childers and all the other crap while there was another adult I’m the house don’t think I’d be wanting to get sexy with that person.
Nope. I'm a respectful, kind and very giving person. I look after my family and look after my wife x It's just every now and again I feel like I need to talk about my overpowering need for sex.
I haven't met anyone on here by the way or having sex with other people, just looking for nice people with good advice.
And that is as good a reason as any to be on here to be fair. We all have to let the pressure out somewhere.
I dont think I can offer anything meaningful really. But feeling unhappy with the way you look,added to all the other life stresses sometimes we just dont want sex. Making a big deal of it makes it worse most times too. "
Yes! Hence me chatting here to what I hope to be likeminded individuals who understand the feeling of being horny and wanting to share it with someone xx |
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"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
Does she know your BS? Have you spoke about things like this?
Yeah we've talked about that. She's said to just try it if that's what I want to try. X"
Did she really mean it though?
Is she actively involved with your fab life?
Does she read your messages?
Has she helped with your profile of taken photos?
If the answer to the last 3 is No, she is probably not Ok with you being on here and could be feeling very hurt and rejected.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
Does she know your BS? Have you spoke about things like this?
Yeah we've talked about that. She's said to just try it if that's what I want to try. X
Did she really mean it though?
Is she actively involved with your fab life?
Does she read your messages?
Has she helped with your profile of taken photos?
If the answer to the last 3 is No, she is probably not Ok with you being on here and could be feeling very hurt and rejected.
Nita"
|
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"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X"
How you described things in your opening comment sounds like your marriage needs work. Sex is important in marriage but it’s not number 1 when you are bringing up children, supporting each other is. Your mind is with Fab and looking for other women and I doubt your wife has given permission, I’m sensing that from your responses. |
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"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?
Great advice.
OK you might not have met anyone but based on your profile you are wanting to do so.
Nita
As a couple they don't even need to meet... Just enjoy the flirty chat and fantasy, help her feel sexy again.
Fab needn't be all about meets. We don't meet at the moment yet here we are enjoying the site."
We have had a bit of a break too. However, his profile reads as though he is seeking sex including a MM experience. There is no indication his wife is involved in a positive way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
How you described things in your opening comment sounds like your marriage needs work. Sex is important in marriage but it’s not number 1 when you are bringing up children, supporting each other is. Your mind is with Fab and looking for other women and I doubt your wife has given permission, I’m sensing that from your responses. "
I’m sensing that also. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
How you described things in your opening comment sounds like your marriage needs work. Sex is important in marriage but it’s not number 1 when you are bringing up children, supporting each other is. Your mind is with Fab and looking for other women and I doubt your wife has given permission, I’m sensing that from your responses.
I’m sensing that also. "
Your senses are wrong plus I came for advice, not how to live life or how I should behave.
It's easy to berate and judge but I prefer constructive advice based on experience from a good place. I don't want to feel like I'm being told off! |
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"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?
Great advice.
OK you might not have met anyone but based on your profile you are wanting to do so.
Nita
As a couple they don't even need to meet... Just enjoy the flirty chat and fantasy, help her feel sexy again.
Fab needn't be all about meets. We don't meet at the moment yet here we are enjoying the site.
We have had a bit of a break too. However, his profile reads as though he is seeking sex including a MM experience. There is no indication his wife is involved in a positive way. "
I can’t comment on his profile as it’s against site rules but it all sounds to me as if his wife is not involved with his secret life on Fab. He thinks Fab will be a quick fix, insta-shag which It is not and being on here could affect his marriage and make things worse. For example if his wife finds out then what will happen? |
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"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
How you described things in your opening comment sounds like your marriage needs work. Sex is important in marriage but it’s not number 1 when you are bringing up children, supporting each other is. Your mind is with Fab and looking for other women and I doubt your wife has given permission, I’m sensing that from your responses.
I’m sensing that also.
Your senses are wrong plus I came for advice, not how to live life or how I should behave.
It's easy to berate and judge but I prefer constructive advice based on experience from a good place. I don't want to feel like I'm being told off!"
OP if you are going to post such a thread then you should expect all kinds of opinons, you have been given advice, not told off, you think you have because you are feeling guilty. Only my opinion which is not given to make you feel bad but just so you can put things into perspective. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?
Great advice.
OK you might not have met anyone but based on your profile you are wanting to do so.
Nita
As a couple they don't even need to meet... Just enjoy the flirty chat and fantasy, help her feel sexy again.
Fab needn't be all about meets. We don't meet at the moment yet here we are enjoying the site.
We have had a bit of a break too. However, his profile reads as though he is seeking sex including a MM experience. There is no indication his wife is involved in a positive way.
I can’t comment on his profile as it’s against site rules but it all sounds to me as if his wife is not involved with his secret life on Fab. He thinks Fab will be a quick fix, insta-shag which It is not and being on here could affect his marriage and make things worse. For example if his wife finds out then what will happen? "
We don't know if she knows or not... I prefer to take him at his word for now. I do wonder if she is just agreeing to please him because she doesn't feel able to give him what he wants though, which, if is the case, is rather sad for both of them.
OP why not ask her is she would like to have a couples profile... Not to meet initially... Just to help her get that desired feeling back. Hell, I'm 48 and a fatty and even I feel like a sexual goddess on here!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
How you described things in your opening comment sounds like your marriage needs work. Sex is important in marriage but it’s not number 1 when you are bringing up children, supporting each other is. Your mind is with Fab and looking for other women and I doubt your wife has given permission, I’m sensing that from your responses.
I’m sensing that also.
Your senses are wrong plus I came for advice, not how to live life or how I should behave.
It's easy to berate and judge but I prefer constructive advice based on experience from a good place. I don't want to feel like I'm being told off!"
Ok, but you indicated above gay this had only been an issue for a month, which in the timescale of a marriage is the blink of an eye. It would also mean that you registered on here as soon as you started to feel dissatisfied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Date nights, time together away from the home environment. If you can't do a night, go out for lunch, a walk, do something together that isn't about sex, or the home or the kids. You have both got stuck in a rut of being parents and providers and lost site of the two people who met and fell for each other.
We've got some time together coming up soon so thanks for this xx It puts things back into perspective
So are you going to stay on Fab or sort your marriage out?
Our marriage isn't in tatters or broken down, I just came here for advice and I've found some of it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not a selfish sex fiend and my wife is clearly just tired from working hard. X
How you described things in your opening comment sounds like your marriage needs work. Sex is important in marriage but it’s not number 1 when you are bringing up children, supporting each other is. Your mind is with Fab and looking for other women and I doubt your wife has given permission, I’m sensing that from your responses.
I’m sensing that also.
Your senses are wrong plus I came for advice, not how to live life or how I should behave.
It's easy to berate and judge but I prefer constructive advice based on experience from a good place. I don't want to feel like I'm being told off!
OP if you are going to post such a thread then you should expect all kinds of opinons, you have been given advice, not told off, you think you have because you are feeling guilty. Only my opinion which is not given to make you feel bad but just so you can put things into perspective. "
Totally agree. Plus there’s more to what you say hence people asking questions to which you’ve side stepped! |
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"I'm struggling to see how you think she agrees to you being on here if she already has issues with her self confidence?
Surely the very last thing she wants is to know you are looking elsewhere?!
If she really is in agreement about it why not do it together? Spice things up as a couple? Believe me there is nothing better for confidence than posting a couple of tastefully sexy pics and reading the masses of compliments and requests to meet... Even the FAF messages have their merits!
Perhaps once she feels desired and sexy again her mojo will follow?
Great advice.
OK you might not have met anyone but based on your profile you are wanting to do so.
Nita
As a couple they don't even need to meet... Just enjoy the flirty chat and fantasy, help her feel sexy again.
Fab needn't be all about meets. We don't meet at the moment yet here we are enjoying the site.
We have had a bit of a break too. However, his profile reads as though he is seeking sex including a MM experience. There is no indication his wife is involved in a positive way.
I can’t comment on his profile as it’s against site rules but it all sounds to me as if his wife is not involved with his secret life on Fab. He thinks Fab will be a quick fix, insta-shag which It is not and being on here could affect his marriage and make things worse. For example if his wife finds out then what will happen?
We don't know if she knows or not... I prefer to take him at his word for now. I do wonder if she is just agreeing to please him because she doesn't feel able to give him what he wants though, which, if is the case, is rather sad for both of them.
OP why not ask her is she would like to have a couples profile... Not to meet initially... Just to help her get that desired feeling back. Hell, I'm 48 and a fatty and even I feel like a sexual goddess on here!!"
Would a wife want to have a couples profile if she doesn’t even want sex with her own husband? I think not but only my opinion. His wife has confidence issues which he could be contributing to but not realising he is. OP is being very defensive which isn’t the attitude of a man playing away with permission from his wife who lacks confidence. |
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Your green arrow speaks volumes here and I’m no psychologist but here’s my spin on this.
a) You say your wife condones your freedom on here and is happy for you to fuck others. Clearly she isn’t.
b) Maybe your wife doesn’t know you’re on here and she senses you’re up to no good and looking for a pity shag.
Sadly, you’re overthinking possibilities of what it could be but my money’s on the above two options.
If you truly love your wife then leave this site. It’s clearly damaging your relationship. But I have a sneaking suspicion that you won’t, in which case stop looking for answers/sympathy because you’ve already decided that your wife comes second to your own gratification. Sounds harsh but has to be said I’m afraid.
Best of luck.
Ed |
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