FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When someone makes you feel like shit
When someone makes you feel like shit
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you. 
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I feel your pain. A few (probably inadequate) suggestions:
Watch a film/TV, listen to music, read a book (all designed to direct your train of thought somewhere else)
I really believe in the healing power of nature and animals, too.
But probably best of all... a female counsellor once advised me to visualise the offending individual in a comprising or embarrassing position. Sounds odd, but it can work! The choice of mental image is your own. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
Meditate, hold the image or feeling in your mind.
If its a situation or person pause the image, make it black and white, reduce its size and or volume.
Think on moments when you did well or felt good about yourself. Overlay them mentally until the original is obscured and weak. Keep doing that.
When you feel more positive/happier kindle that thought and expand it. Then holding it securely pick a point on your body (right knee just above and to the right of the kneecap is good) press it hard while maintaining happy thoughts/elation/positivity
You should get an echo of that every time you press there. Will help to reduce the negative feeling hopefully! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's really hard but just take it one day at a time, keep busy, do things you love or spend time with people who love you, until you start to feel better.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think deepak chopra says something along the lines of:
Put not your happiness in an object or thing, because those can be taken away from you.
I would say it's along the lines of something like that for your own happiness as well. Don't put how you feel into the way a person makes you feel because they can also disappear etc etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just Take some time to breathe. Consentrte on your breathing going in and out . Its an anchor you can use if you get stressed and begin to over think .
Remeber you can't read any ones mind or thoughts .
Try a good long walk , being outside can ease your feelings .
If you find yourself over thinking don't be hard on yourself , be as compassionate with yourself as you are with others |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How are they making you feel like shit? Is it words or actions? If its words why are they making you feel shit. Is it the truth? Are they right? If theres no truth take the power away from them. Concentrate on other things going on in your life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How to change how you feel - doing something that's physical will change your physical state. It helps to flush and process hormones etc and potentially release uplifting ones. It may be something very active or just standing and moving - a good walk for example.
Remembering and reassociating into positive experiences is a good way that I find of benefit.
I'd also recommend that you could progressively pass from a highly negative state to a very positive one most easily - bunny hops, so to speak. There's less pressure on you if you don't expect to go from hell to nirvana in one step. I don't know if that's clear but I'm happy to elucidate.
Take any quick decisions if appropriate - that can help us to move on.
Being around nature is really helpful.
Connecting with people who uplift you and hold no pressure on you to be any specific way may be right too.
Not CBT, I'm not ignoring your request SH, just wanted to offer these quick thoughts as you absolutely deserve better than someone who has degraded your spirit. You rock |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In work, I challenge things directly.
On a personal level it's hard to give an answer without facts...grannys answer makes sense but that approach needs practice! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Think about all the people that actually love you, care for you, spend time with you and make you feel happy.
Anyone who makes others feel shit are the ones with issues. Don't waste another thought on them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You have taken that first step by acknowledging that they make you feel like shit. You know deep down that aint right and you deserve better. I find a long long walk alone in the countryside helps process my thoughts. Get out there and think off all the times they made u feel bad. Now take control. Baby steps to make you feel happy again. Happiness comes from within. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the right to be happy. That may mean letting go xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.
Awww that’s cute
 "
I thought you were joking about being little legs till I had a perv, you’re a adorable humunculous |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.
Awww that’s cute
I thought you were joking about being little legs till I had a perv, you’re a adorable humunculous "
I don’t joke. I have a mean serious face you know.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.
Awww that’s cute
I thought you were joking about being little legs till I had a perv, you’re a adorable humunculous
I don’t joke. I have a mean serious face you know.
"
Seeing is believing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
EFT = Emotional Freedom Technique will help you get over it in minutes.
EFT is really easy to learn. It's cost no money to do it. You can learn the basics in minutes. Plenty of information via Google and plenty of free instructional videos on YouTube. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As so many of the previous posters have mentioned:
The cure is entirely with you.
You can't stop bad people from trying to treat you like shit if they are that way inclined BUT people can't make YOU feel like shit unless you let them get to you.
The advice for defeating their actions is as old as the hills: count your blessings and your little triumphs (of good, of a task well done, a problem solved, a good walk completed, a good book read, a good day spent with real friends etc. etc) whatever they may be.
I am me, these are the things (however humble) that I have achieved.
I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who will recognise that self-help in these lines from an old poem:
"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
I cant see how cock and ball torture (CBT) will help you in the long term.
It might help at the time but afterwards you will go back to feeling like shite.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
Tell them to go fuck themselves  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.
I cant see how cock and ball torture (CBT) will help you in the long term.
It might help at the time but afterwards you will go back to feeling like shite.
"
I have to say that CBT translated the same to me too.
Perhaps it's that old fetish purification through pain? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Reading is a good distraction method , it’s hard at first but when you get into a good book it really helps. I find if my mind wanders I pick my book up and it totally distracts you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.
Do you know what, I used to let it bother me but I now laugh at their ignorance.
People who pop at others usually have their own deep seated issues which they sweep under the carpet and then have a go at other people in the hope it makes them feel bad when, in fact, it just makes them look like the sad, sorry individuals that they really are x"
Sorry. I meant in the hope it makes them feel better ... Not bad |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.
Do you know what, I used to let it bother me but I now laugh at their ignorance.
People who pop at others usually have their own deep seated issues which they sweep under the carpet and then have a go at other people in the hope it makes them feel bad when, in fact, it just makes them look like the sad, sorry individuals that they really are x
Sorry. I meant in the hope it makes them feel better ... Not bad "
I think you hit the nail on the head there for some people that I’ve ‘experienced’ anyway  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
I divorced her - then I felt a lot better
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.
Do you know what, I used to let it bother me but I now laugh at their ignorance.
People who pop at others usually have their own deep seated issues which they sweep under the carpet and then have a go at other people in the hope it makes them feel bad when, in fact, it just makes them look like the sad, sorry individuals that they really are x
Sorry. I meant in the hope it makes them feel better ... Not bad
I think you hit the nail on the head there for some people that I’ve ‘experienced’ anyway "
There are two particular people on here with whom I apply this way of thinking, and chatting to others privately has shown that I am correct x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry. 
I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP. 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
Sit in a nice place, feet flat on the floor everything resting. Think through your body from toes to top of your head, relaxing each bit of you as you go. Think my feet are totally coumfortable I love my feet...... and so on. It’s great but a bit hard to do on your own better if someone talks you through each stage.
Hope it helps.
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.
I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.
"
yay
Always good to see a positive outcome of the back of an advice thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.
I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.
"
Aw that’s great to hear. Fab has its uses |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.
I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.
yay
Always good to see a positive outcome of the back of an advice thread"
I very much appreciate it. I'm still reading the comments. It's not an issue about the site, I can't give info.
It's also been useful in general, I hope it's helped others too.
I know I already said it but I really do appreciate every single reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do agree with everything everyone has said but me personally found I was too anxious to write journals or do relaxation techniques, everyone is different, the only thing I found worked for me was distracting myself by reading, x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Something I have tried in the past to get over bad experiences and feelings about people - write it all down on a piece of paper, screw it up and then set light to it. While you watch it going up in flames concentrate on the passing of your bad thoughts until they have turned into ash and can hurt you no more. xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?
Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.
"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "
Can you cut this toxic person adrift.
I feel sad for them actually, if all they have to think about is making you feel shit then they are the ones with the empty life.
You know that you aren't shit OP. Tell yourself you are better than them, you have lots of positives, list your top three for starters.
Sending positive thoughts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
