FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Time to play Mornington Crescent
Time to play Mornington Crescent
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Ok it’s time to play Mornington Crescent. Samantha is on my desk and ready to score. So I’ll go first.
Cockfosters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Normal rules?
Hmmm, I’ll have to go Edgware Road .. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
If we are playing the fisting variant, I’ll go Warren Street |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I hope Mrs Trellis joins in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope Mrs Trellis joins in"
 
Oh, and Goodge Street I think is still legal under the fisting variant rules? |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Mmm... that really leaves me with one option....
Mudchute
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Yes we are playing the fisting variation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 31/08/18 09:46:18] |
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Too Easy Russell Square Nash equilibria strategy deployed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stockwell |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Seven Sisters.
Playing the double hand variant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seven Sisters.
Playing the double hand variant "
The OP has confirmed that we’re playing the fisting variant so the double hand variant is expressly forbidden under subclause 4.3.xii
You will need to go back to Boston Manor as a result! Unlucky! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Double hand variant allows me to use the double loop.
Kensington High Street |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry. Withdraw my last move |
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"Sorry. Withdraw my last move"
Good job! You would have been in nip |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We sometimes play the European variation. Is that being renegotiated as part of the Brexit deal? |
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"We sometimes play the European variation. Is that being renegotiated as part of the Brexit deal?"
Breakfast means breakfast |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We sometimes play the European variation. Is that being renegotiated as part of the Brexit deal?"
As a virgin of this...complex rule based interchange...is the oval permitted ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I defer to the Chairman on this but I think that with the fisting variation you would be allowed th the Oval because the previous move did not employ a loop. Ruling from the Chair please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While we wait for the decision, Samantha has had to leave us for a bit to complain about her newspaper delivery man. He tends to leave it on her doorstep, but she prefers to pull a Daily Mail through the letterbox every morning .. |
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*Plays Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. Sings really quietly: ‘You’re harder to understand than Mornington Crescent’* |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"While we wait for the decision, Samantha has had to leave us for a bit to complain about her newspaper delivery man. He tends to leave it on her doorstep, but she prefers to pull a Daily Mail through the letterbox every morning .. "
I heard Samantha has just returned from a tour of the Lake District with a naturist friend who wanted to strip of at Keswick and Cockermouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While we wait for the decision, Samantha has had to leave us for a bit to complain about her newspaper delivery man. He tends to leave it on her doorstep, but she prefers to pull a Daily Mail through the letterbox every morning .. "
She's quite a girl isn't she. She once told me her favourite pub is the Mendip Inn
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"I defer to the Chairman on this but I think that with the fisting variation you would be allowed th the Oval because the previous move did not employ a loop. Ruling from the Chair please."
I am allowing the oval because it’s a Friday, on which day you can double loop back |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I defer to the Chairman on this but I think that with the fisting variation you would be allowed th the Oval because the previous move did not employ a loop. Ruling from the Chair please.
I am allowing the oval because it’s a Friday, on which day you can double loop back"
Really!? Isn’t that shunting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I defer to the Chairman on this but I think that with the fisting variation you would be allowed th the Oval because the previous move did not employ a loop. Ruling from the Chair please.
I am allowing the oval because it’s a Friday, on which day you can double loop back
Really!? Isn’t that shunting? "
I don't think it was shunting as the previous move was to a destination more than 500 metres away. Chairman may disagree. |
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Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol "
I don’t understand either |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
As my last move was invalid I’m now employing the Clergywoman gambit.. which is allowed on Friday .....
Bushey
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol "
No its not just you  |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
It’s all newberry park to me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
No its not just you "
To be honest I think it's a bit unfair if you haven't played it before because we are playing an advanced version. I believe a simpler version for beginners is available but you have to get the permission of a certified member of the Mornington Crescent Protection Society to access it. |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
No its not just you To be honest I think it's a bit unfair if you haven't played it before because we are playing an advanced version. I believe a simpler version for beginners is available but you have to get the permission of a certified member of the Mornington Crescent Protection Society to access it."
You will need to read all the rules first as there are lots of variants and gambits that can take beginners unawares ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
No its not just you To be honest I think it's a bit unfair if you haven't played it before because we are playing an advanced version. I believe a simpler version for beginners is available but you have to get the permission of a certified member of the Mornington Crescent Protection Society to access it.
You will need to read all the rules first as there are lots of variants and gambits that can take beginners unawares ..."
It’s definitely worth reading the rules, but you’ll need a new toner cartridge before printing them off. DON’T download the Trossachs Dependency version (revised) as these have been discredited as a hoax. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
No its not just you To be honest I think it's a bit unfair if you haven't played it before because we are playing an advanced version. I believe a simpler version for beginners is available but you have to get the permission of a certified member of the Mornington Crescent Protection Society to access it.
You will need to read all the rules first as there are lots of variants and gambits that can take beginners unawares ..."
Yes. I have only reached grade 4 myself so frequently fall foul if the rules. |
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I think for beginners or those with fewer than 40 hours flying hours we should employ the Finsbury variation and allow. Providing they put the word ‘beginner’ in the move message? Agreed? |
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
I don’t understand either "
Good I'm not Alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think for beginners or those with fewer than 40 hours flying hours we should employ the Finsbury variation and allow. Providing they put the word ‘beginner’ in the move message? Agreed?"
Agreed. Which would invoke clause 7.2.3.xxi of course, which might complicate things if anyone lands on Lancaster Gate? |
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Is this some kind of parralel universe . Wtf |
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
No its not just you "
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Just realise my move was almost timed out
Aldgate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think for beginners or those with fewer than 40 hours flying hours we should employ the Finsbury variation and allow. Providing they put the word ‘beginner’ in the move message? Agreed?
Agreed. Which would invoke clause 7.2.3.xxi of course, which might complicate things if anyone lands on Lancaster Gate? "
The only problem with that would be that anyone joining us now will be able to put beginner when they move even if they are advanced players. This would probably make for a short game as they would be allowed more leeway and get to Mornington Crescent very quickly.
Worth a try though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just realise my move was almost timed out
Aldgate"
Ooh clever! The obvious move there was Trafalgar Square, but Aldgate is genius!
Westminster. |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
[Removed by poster at 31/08/18 12:06:02] |
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Good game everyone
Who’s up for another? A second referendum if you will.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on
Mornington Crescent!!!"
ahh well played Sir!!
A formidable opponent! |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
I’ll start with
Elephant and Castle |
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"I’ll start with
Elephant and Castle"
Bloody hell thats an aggressive opening! Need to think about that one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good game everyone
Who’s up for another? A second referendum if you will...."
Well done. I realise that I am not in your league but I have learnt a lot from this game. I have never played the Fisting variation before. Incidentally people often misunderstand why it's called that which can be embarrassing. It was introduced by Sir Randolph (Randy)
Fisting the Norwegian Grand Master as a way of spicing up the game |
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Right I'm googling this shit as nobody is explaining this game |
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Google away! Hope to have you making a move! Remember we are playing the second clit slap rule on which double entry is permitted
Southgate |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"Google away! Hope to have you making a move! Remember we are playing the second clit slap rule on which double entry is permitted
Southgate"
Excellent move sir... that will test the mettle of even the most experienced players |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Google away! Hope to have you making a move! Remember we are playing the second clit slap rule on which double entry is permitted
Southgate
Excellent move sir... that will test the mettle of even the most experienced players"
Indeed. I’m going to have to play my Joker and pass I think, and defer to the person below  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Right I'm googling this shit as nobody is explaining this game "
I googled ... it didn’t help that much |
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Ok, I'm putting it out there and saying Waterloo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is Fulham Rd permitted? You did say double entry was allowed. |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
In that case I’ll go
Shepherd’s Bush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heathrow Terminals 1, 2 & 3 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Putney Bridge |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"Heathrow Terminals 1, 2 & 3"
Lucky you didn’t play Heathrow Terminal 4 as that would have lead straight to M C... |
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Is straddling allowed? Or is that only after using an Inkermans reverse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wapping! Just wanted to say Wapping. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is straddling allowed? Or is that only after using an Inkermans reverse?"
Straddling is okay, but only if you're ruffing the Circle. |
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As we’re allowed double entry I’ll go Kings Cross St Pancras, the Victoria line, obvs |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
There are some serious players on today. I hope those lurkers trying to pick up the rules can keep up. This is championship level stuff.
I’m going to be controversial and go for Cockfosters. |
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"There are some serious players on today. I hope those lurkers trying to pick up the rules can keep up. This is championship level stuff.
I’m going to be controversial and go for Cockfosters. "
Elephant & Castle, utilising subclause 12.37 as I'm wearing a hat |
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"There are some serious players on today. I hope those lurkers trying to pick up the rules can keep up. This is championship level stuff.
I’m going to be controversial and go for Cockfosters. "
It’s after midday so that puts the game into nip for the next three moves. I remember Humph catching a few people that way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are some serious players on today. I hope those lurkers trying to pick up the rules can keep up. This is championship level stuff.
I’m going to be controversial and go for Cockfosters.
Elephant & Castle, utilising subclause 12.37 as I'm wearing a hat"
Tiptoes to West Brompton as making a noise would violate the Elizabeth Line gambit (Usually I'm all for violating). |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"Shepherd’s Bush "
Is double entry allowed as I’ve been there once.... I think rule 17.3.7 subsection 32 may apply... |
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"Shepherd’s Bush
Is double entry allowed as I’ve been there once.... I think rule 17.3.7 subsection 32 may apply..."
I'd ask Samantha but she's off seeing a bird watcher friend - she said she couldn't wait to see his cock, pullit and swallow. |
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I’m not sure about sub section 32, I thought that move had been banned?
I’ll go fir Aldgate East..
Samantha has just come back from holiday in Italy.. long days by the pool licking the nuts off a large Neopolitan.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, while Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of winkles in cider...
I'll go to Caledonian Road. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are we playing the 'read it backwards' variation? If so, I'll offer Finsbury Park |
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I hope Samantha gets that promotion she wanted, I’d love to see her crack up through the glass ceiling |
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"So, while Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of winkles in cider...
I'll go to Caledonian Road. "
I once bought her a lovely old blanket box. Cost a fortune though. Before I knew it I had apent my wad on her chest |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Wood Street
Before Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself... |
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Gosh, Samantha is a busy girl today.
Manor House |
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"Gosh, Samantha is a busy girl today.
Manor House"
Nice move.. |
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I think we may have to call this one a draw |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
If I invoke the double entry rule .... I can play
Queensway
Followed immediately by
Mornington Cressent....
I know this is a long shot but I’m all for bending the rules.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we may have to call this one a draw"
Well hang on a minute. Let’s not be hasty!
Ok then .. Chalfont & Latimer! Ha!
Cat. Amongst. The. Pigeons!!
That’s flummoxed you all hasn’t it!!
(If in doubt or think that’s an illegal move, think again! Precedent was set in Smith vs Billingsworth 1987) |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"I think we may have to call this one a draw
Well hang on a minute. Let’s not be hasty!
Ok then .. Chalfont & Latimer! Ha!
Cat. Amongst. The. Pigeons!!
That’s flummoxed you all hasn’t it!!
(If in doubt or think that’s an illegal move, think again! Precedent was set in Smith vs Billingsworth 1987) "
But only after the third player to the left of Samantha had played his Hornchurch....
We need a ruling from the chairman on this one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought there was nothing left after Samantha.
Chalfont St. Peter |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
Aldwich |
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"Aldwich "
Thank fuck for that thought I'd be in nip for ever
As we are playing the fisting variant and it's officially the first me autumn I can play the bishops injunction avoid East Barnet and there we are
Mornington crescent xxx |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
"Is this a man thing then?"
Only if you are male, otherwise no |
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Sincere apologies for my absence. I was writing a letter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sincere apologies for my absence. I was writing a letter. "
Imposter. Or are you on your travels? |
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol "
me neither..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How to find my brethren, blessed be the Radio 4 listeners. 
Ladbroke Grove |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Baron's court"
Sorry Tim, that's not allowed.
Under the Open variation (Subsection 3ii) the Baron should be released.
Hampton Court
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Surely Hampton court is an illegal move ...you have to play Richmond or Wimbledon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wimbledon
We are still playing the fisting variation aren't we? If so a reminder that Wimbledon is one of the positions from which you cannot execute a double entry move. |
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Hmm. That makes things more complicated.
I'll go for Caledonian Road. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was hoping you wouldn't spot that move. Very clever. I suppose you knew it would force me to adopt the standard fallback defence.
Marble Arch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Assuming that we're playing the Bethlehem Rules where all Shepherd, King and Ass related connections count double...
BarKing. |
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Some great moves over the weekend. Some real Mornington masters on fab! Yes we are playing the fisting variation.
Angel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a tricky one Monsieur Croissant. Think I will play it safe.
Picadilly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even using those rules I'm going to have to go to Fleet Street. Don't want to walk before I can run? |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
If those rules I will go
Holland Park |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you d*unk thats not good this time of day  |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Just watch for a bit and you will pick the rules up... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I'm so happy there are fellow "Listeners" on here! |
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"Oh I'm so happy there are fellow "Listeners" on here! "
It’s my not so subtle plan to meet a fb I can also have an intelligent conversation with! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think you d*unk thats not good this time of day "
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
OK then I'll go with Emspankment |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I think we were at Holland Park. In which case I’m going to have to go for Chorley Wood |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Regent's Park
Incidentally Samantha has to leave us now as she has a date with a Russian gentleman who is a bit of a gourmet. He has promised to give her a meal in his hotel room and then liquor out on the balcony |
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" OK then I'll go with Emspankment"
Smart move! We are being hussled here! |
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"Regent's Park
Incidentally Samantha has to leave us now as she has a date with a Russian gentleman who is a bit of a gourmet. He has promised to give her a meal in his hotel room and then liquor out on the balcony "
I heard she likes a good white wine and often tastes a semillon before bed |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
" OK then I'll go with Emspankment
Smart move! We are being hussled here! "
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
As. No straddling is allowed at Ealing Broadway I’ll go....
Seven Sisters |
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"As. No straddling is allowed at Ealing Broadway I’ll go....
Seven Sisters "
You can go reverse cowgirl in the fishing variation |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Seven sisters are on their way to Hornchurch for a greedy guy. So sorry they've been diverted.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll slip gently into Oval. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I'll slip gently into Oval. "
mmmmm
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At John's Wood |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"At John's Wood"
That’s a controversial move... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should have read St John's Wood
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"Should have read St John's Wood
"
It’s still a controversial move....
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"At John's Wood"
I like John's Wood, from there I'm going to Lesbian Square |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahem... Hornchurch. |
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A-ha, you allowed yourself to be distracted by the fisting variant and forgot about the reverse shunt exposition, I see!
Mile End, my friend! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr Chairman. I am a great fan of the fisting variation but it does pose problems for beginners who need opening up to the game more gradually. I suggest we are not too hard on them. Up to you of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Argyle Street. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Argyle Street."
Surely you can only bounce to Glasgow if we're playing the McDonald's Trousers variation. |
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"Argyle Street.
Surely you can only bounce to Glasgow if we're playing the McDonald's Trousers variation. "
Yes I can’t let that stand. Miss a go and collect £200 |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
Oh dear I seem to have somehow ended up at Mudchute
What a conundrum |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Mornington Crescent !!!!
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I propose Holborn for a new starting pount |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Argyle Street.
Surely you can only bounce to Glasgow if we're playing the McDonald's Trousers variation.
Yes I can’t let that stand. Miss a go and collect £200"
Argyle Street off Gray's Inn Road, London not acceptable? I wasn't bouncing to Glasgow but merely executing a forward triangulation which I thought was within the standard rules. However I accept the Chairman's ruling, especially as there is £200 in it for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I propose Holborn for a new starting pount"
It's almost 8.30 so I suggest the dogging variation, I which case let's move on to
Highgate |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 09:04:35] |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
I'm playing the needafuck varient |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
"I'm playing the needafuck varient"
In that case it has to be
Maida Vale
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I'm playing the needafuck varient
In that case it has to be
Maida Vale
"
Followed by arse-nel lube station |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Slippery choice...
Chalk Farm "
Time for you to up your game, seven sisters. |
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Left yourself wide open...easy...Oval |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Then I will have to slip in with...
Marylebone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmm. Tricky. I've got Wood Green. |
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I see some professionals have entered the game.
Totteridge and Whetstone it is.
Sits back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely I can't be the only one who hasn't a fucking clue what this is all about lol
I don’t understand either "
An 1/8 of hash and a bottle of liquid acid certainly helps |
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I’m going to huff across to Dollis Hill. |
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Totteridge and whetstone? Very clever.
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Nice subsidy loop there with Dollis Hill too. |
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Well if no one else i going to say it.... |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Well if no one else i going to say it...."
.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Parsons Green....
I knew that tart was off!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a pity Samantha can't be with us to do the scoring. She is into horse riding and a gentleman friend who is a racehorse trainer has offered her a chance to ride in a race. She is very excited as he says he is prepared to drop his jockeys and enter her at Newmarket. |
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Samantha has told me she to nip out an meet two young vicars who have promised to exorcise a poltergeist from her flat...
They have said they are looking forward to stopping her furniture flying about her room and giving her the willies....
Roding Valley
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, while Samantha nips out to meet a roofer in order to get felt laid down in the loft...
Stratford International. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slightly off topic - but I recently signed up to Audible and got a free ‘credit’ to download an audio book or file.
I chose the ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’ second Treasury collection - over 20 hours of episodes downloaded from both the Humph and Jack Dee era all for free!
Definitely worth it if you’re a fan!
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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago
the land of saints & sinners |
Samantha has had to nip out a take her German Shepherd for a stroke whilst he licks her face and pants....
Upminster
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Samantha has had to nip out a take her German Shepherd for a stroke whilst he licks her face and pants....
Upminster
"
She enjoys sitting on the Chairman's right hand and scoring too. |
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