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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if ones married and other isn't? What if the single one is frustrated and wants more. Throw the towel in?"
I’d say yes. They’re unlikely to leave. I wouldn’t leave ever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the affairs I’ve known of, haven’t ended well. Even if they’ve gone off together, invariably one of the parties involved has gone back to their former partner.
Having said that, I know of an affair that went on for over 25 years and when both their partners died, they then got together properly until they both died in their 90s.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if ones married and other isn't? What if the single one is frustrated and wants more. Throw the towel in?"
In this situation I’d say you knew what you were getting into. You’ll always come second. |
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It can work out yes. In fact im going to the wedding in november where the husband was having an affair and left his wife. Theyve been together around 10 years and as i say getting married in november. However, the majority of the time it wont work they will make empty promises say they want to be with them but never do just keep them dangling by a string. If anyone is going to have an affair with a married person they should go in with their eyes open wide as usually they will be the ones that get hurt |
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"It's amazing how the married one can make promises they can't keep. 8 months of an affair is enough "
not really amazing there cheating on their husband/wife cant really be surprised when they are not being honest with their bit on the side
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"makes you feel used i guess
i'd say step back , and enjoy the moments you had , the good times
now time to move on .......
one door closes another opens"
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's amazing how the married one can make promises they can't keep. 8 months of an affair is enough not really amazing there cheating on their husband/wife cant really be surprised when they are not being honest with their bit on the side"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's amazing how the married one can make promises they can't keep. 8 months of an affair is enough "
People can only keep treating you a certain way if you let them. |
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"Does it ever work out in the end? Does the one married ever leave or keep the 'lover' going on to suit their needs?
Asking for a friend "
During a thirty year marriage, I had three delicious affairs with three incredible women.
Am I proud? No. Am I ashamed? No. I will take the memories to my grave. All three were random meets and led to spectacular times. Illicit sex is without doubt the most spectacular. I miss them. That’s the real downside to it all, you upset some people and that hurts, even to a ‘cheating bastard man’ , but the man also hurts.
My advice? Don’t do, remain faithful to your marriage. Mind you, it was fucking great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The ones I’ve seen....
The women tend to leave the marriage but the men tend to stay with the promise of leaving his wife after a milestone....
Examples .....
I’ll leave when the kids are off to University
I’ll leave when the mortgage is paid off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does it ever work out in the end? Does the one married ever leave or keep the 'lover' going on to suit their needs?
Asking for a friend "
I've just kicked the husband out, I'll keep you posted to let you know if it works out for him and his mistress. My gut tells me it won't though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had one for 3 ish years. We both agreed from the off that it was just sex but in the end fell for each other so we agreed to walk away. She was amazing but it was the right decision in the end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some men will promise the person they are having the affair with they will leave their wife..
My dad did, on a few occasions apparently..
However the husband of the last one he promised that to decided to call his bluff and called my mum to tell her what he had been promising...
I remember that day well  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kicked my husband out after finding out he was having an affair ( apparently not the first neither) he’s still with her and she’s pregnant with their 2nd child. I doubt it will last but she’s welcome to him. X |
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"Most of the affairs I’ve known of, haven’t ended well. Even if they’ve gone off together, invariably one of the parties involved has gone back to their former partner.
Having said that, I know of an affair that went on for over 25 years and when both their partners died, they then got together properly until they both died in their 90s.
"
Aww, so sweet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure some will work whilst others don't but in my opinion, having an affair, playing away, call it what you will, is the very worst insult one human being can bestow upon another.
If you're not happy, at least have the balls (male or female) to admit the fact and move on.
I hate sneaky, sly deceitful people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes affairs can work out and people can go on to have a long lasting happy future together.
Admittedly it is harder if only one person is married and the other is single, but I've known people leave their marriage for someone else and it's turned out to be the best thing they did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if ones married and other isn't? What if the single one is frustrated and wants more. Throw the towel in?"
Yes!!
If a singleton expects the affair to be on their terms, more fool them. |
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"I'm sure some will work whilst others don't but in my opinion, having an affair, playing away, call it what you will, is the very worst insult one human being can bestow upon another.
If you're not happy, at least have the balls (male or female) to admit the fact and move on
In a perfect sense you are of course correct, in the real world with human beings and feelings - naive .
I hate sneaky, sly deceitful people."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure some will work whilst others don't but in my opinion, having an affair, playing away, call it what you will, is the very worst insult one human being can bestow upon another.
If you're not happy, at least have the balls (male or female) to admit the fact and move on.
I hate sneaky, sly deceitful people."
I can think of worse things. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"It's amazing how the married one can make promises they can't keep. 8 months of an affair is enough not really amazing there cheating on their husband/wife cant really be surprised when they are not being honest with their bit on the side"
This totally and i'd wonder how you could not worry they would do the same to you too.. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing "
Block them on every platform they are on and dont enagage with them anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing "
It’s not necessarily love, could be a controlling thing on both sides - not really wanting to give something up.
It’s really easy though to block a person off every piece of social media and end all phone contact.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing "
Or the ultimate single upper hand move - Back off or I’ll tell your partner.
Me thinks the person in question doesn’t want to let go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can work sometimes but I'd say a high percentage they stay and the single one is left waiting until it finally comes to an end.
If the singleton feels it's going know where then make a clean break from it. we can all give opinions But it's only the people involved that can truly make the call. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing
Or the ultimate single upper hand move - Back off or I’ll tell your partner.
Me thinks the person in question doesn’t want to let go."
Think you're spot on here |
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"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing "
If someone really wants to be with you, they would move heaven and earth to be with you.
If they're staying put with their partner it's because that's what they prefer, with you on the end of a string too of course, who wouldn't want to have their cake and eat it?
You deserve better (as does his partner)
If you are serious about ending it then the only way is to cut all contact. It will hurt like a bastard but there really is no other way.
Yes love is a powerful thing, but don't confuse love with the fear of being alone, or the addictive thrill of the drama of splitting up, getting back together , rinse and repeat.
Good luck.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dad & his partner have been together 20 years, it started as an affair"
My dad and his wife have been together for 30 years and started as an affair. I still have zero respect for him. |
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"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing "
Its not love, its him getting sex, if he loved you, he'd be with you. |
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It constantly amazes me how people so open that they are happy to be on a swinging site can be so judgemental.
It is easy and very common to be in a loving marriage and yet be unfulfilled. People grow in different directions and gaps appear. Some gaps cannot be papered over but if having an affair does it and both know the score (ie don’t pretend you’ll be leaving and that it’s more than it is) where’s the harm?
Two marriages could be saved. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"It constantly amazes me how people so open that they are happy to be on a swinging site can be so judgemental.
It is easy and very common to be in a loving marriage and yet be unfulfilled. People grow in different directions and gaps appear. Some gaps cannot be papered over but if having an affair does it and both know the score (ie don’t pretend you’ll be leaving and that it’s more than it is) where’s the harm?
Two marriages could be saved."
We are all allowed our opinions and it doesnt make someone judgemental for having a different view to you or anyone else.
Many have suffered due to infidelity,a partners ot a parents,so their views will reflect this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It constantly amazes me how people so open that they are happy to be on a swinging site can be so judgemental.
It is easy and very common to be in a loving marriage and yet be unfulfilled. People grow in different directions and gaps appear. Some gaps cannot be papered over but if having an affair does it and both know the score (ie don’t pretend you’ll be leaving and that it’s more than it is) where’s the harm?
Two marriages could be saved."
Exactly this |
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Having a different view is understandable and fine. My experience is that there are lots of Fab women who are almost vitriolic in their condemnation.
I guess I have an aversion to any openly expressed hostile negativity. The dignified thing to do is keep our opinions to ourselves and simply “move on”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were both married. Fell in love, got divorces and now live together. Relationship wise, things couldn’t be better. If you meet your soul mate and kindred spirit, don’t pass up the opportunity. It can work out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having a different view is understandable and fine. My experience is that there are lots of Fab women who are almost vitriolic in their condemnation.
I guess I have an aversion to any openly expressed hostile negativity. The dignified thing to do is keep our opinions to ourselves and simply “move on”. "
That’s probably because these vitriolic women have been shat on from a great height by their other half and are running a bit low on understanding and tolerance of a dick with a wandering eye.
If you ask for opinions you’ll get those who understand and those who don’t.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does it ever work out in the end? Does the one married ever leave or keep the 'lover' going on to suit their needs?
Asking for a friend "
Plenty leave but if you've met under those circumstances and seen the deceit and lies that the husband/wife was capable of to carry on the affair, could you ever entirely trust them? |
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I had one with a former colleague, what started out as a d*unken kiss on a works night out led to an amazing night together on my leaving do weeks later, then meeting every week, sometimes several times for the most amazing passionate sex for two years. It started as a bit of fun but I could feel myself falling for her, then her boyfriend proposed when they went on holiday and despite us carrying it on for another year she still went ahead with her marriage and ended it with me shortly before which I was absolutely gutted about. I should have known better but when you meet someone you click with and those crazy feelings take over common sense goes right out of the window I still miss her now and we haven't spoken in over a year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does it ever work out in the end? Does the one married ever leave or keep the 'lover' going on to suit their needs?
Asking for a friend "
I guess it rarely works.. I'm alwats 100% honest that I'm married, but although ppl don't intend to develop things sometimes it can't be controlled..
I would say that any man promising to leave his wife but always has an excuse Not to, isn't going to.. I would never give them more than 1year max. If they are still making excuses then move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you have to lay the rules out at the beginning. Depends on the situation. Ie: If you’re both married, if one is married etc
This is why illicit encounters type sites can be a good idea"
Yeah that’s a good site. Expensive for men though I believe |
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I can honestly say that having an affair is the lowest of low behaviour , and although as some have said it can end up great , the fact that we are all supposed to say it’s fine , because it’s a swinging site is bs.
If your marriage or relationship is so bad that you feel compelled to have an affair , then do the right thing and leave your unhappy relationship , and then start a relationship with someone else . It’s really that simple . Why hurt someone you supposedly love ? Why be so cruel ? I don’t get it at all . |
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"I think you have to lay the rules out at the beginning. Depends on the situation. Ie: If you’re both married, if one is married etc
This is why illicit encounters type sites can be a good idea
Yeah that’s a good site. Expensive for men though I believe "
Some sites like all businesses take advantage of peoples situation
As far as affairs is it an affair for mutual nsa sex that gets better because you get to know likes and dislikes of each other or is it love and affection and just wanting to be with each other , I know both situations have worked and people that have left one partner for the affair met partner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty of talking has taken place and the single one has tried to end it lots of times. End it to see what happens?"
The single one hasn't 'tried to end it'. They said they would end it to see if the married one would choose them. And when the married one didn't choose them? Back to square one |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"So if the single one has tried to end it over a handful of times but the married one won't let go, how would you finish it?
Love is a powerful thing "
I had an on off affair for 10 years. At one point he left his wife and moved in with me.
He's back with his wife again now. Didn't stop him from trying to get me back as his mistress though.
I realised that I was worth so so much more then that. There were happy times, there are still times I miss him (despite a husband and 3 secondary partners) but I know ending it was the right thing to do. |
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"Plenty of talking has taken place and the single one has tried to end it lots of times. End it to see what happens?
The single one hasn't 'tried to end it'. They said they would end it to see if the married one would choose them. And when the married one didn't choose them? Back to square one"
This
The single one is still letting him fuck her, even though she said it was over but fell for his bs again.
Tell her to disconnect from him completely and find a single guy and enjoy the freedom of two uninhibited diaries |
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