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I’ve done something terrible...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest he probably won't do it again and you've done yourself a favour in the long run. Don't do it just because your tired tho....a wee skelp cos they are being a little shit however..... |
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By *iki cdTV/TS
over a year ago
Thessaloniki, Greece |
As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson"
He’s not even two... he doesn’t understand. |
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"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult. "
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour  oo on shoot me now for saying that  
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts "
Exactly this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh OP. Although I disagree with parents taking their temper out on their kids it doesn't sound like you've even done that. As he's so small he won't even think twice about it and tomorrow you'll be back being best mates. Kudos to you for bringing up your little man singlehandedly. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts "
Totally agree |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"We’ve all done it. Don’t beat yourself up over it honestly. X"
^^this.
When you are tired, everything is worse.
Maybe next time you are in the same situation, you might have a tactic to manage it? Because you will be tired again, and he will push those buttons again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson
He’s not even two... he doesn’t understand. "
Then give him a big cuddle in the morning and start afresh with a new day. I've never smacked either of mine but was known to go to the toilet or kitchen and scream/moan about what a wee fucker they were. It's fucking hard sometimes.
Don't be too hard on yourself x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts "
I’m sorry I don’t agree... kids these days have all sorts of pressures put upon them, it’s no wonder they act out at times and possibly seem a bit more ‘disrespectful’ than us when we were younger.
It’s a generation thing I guess, respect doesn’t come from slaps across he fingers, in my eyes, sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts
I’m sorry I don’t agree... kids these days have all sorts of pressures put upon them, it’s no wonder they act out at times and possibly seem a bit more ‘disrespectful’ than us when we were younger.
It’s a generation thing I guess, respect doesn’t come from slaps across he fingers, in my eyes, sorry. "
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"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult. "
Have to say this feels majorly dramatic, never hit my daughter, but I was hit when needed as a kid with various items and have no scars and never did die from it |
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We have ALL done something like that we regret. Don't beat yourself up its unlikely you'll do it again. Kids drive you to the end of your patience.
Concentrate instead on all the times you've shown patience and tolerance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult. "
Man I wouldn’t worry about it. My old man used to beat me if I was bad. We still get on ok though. Smacking used to be all the rage, now it’s frowned upon. |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
You sound like a great dad who really cares.
We all make mistakes. It's how we learn. I raised three and it can be tough at times.
But of all the harm an adult can do to a child . . . I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts
I’m sorry I don’t agree... kids these days have all sorts of pressures put upon them, it’s no wonder they act out at times and possibly seem a bit more ‘disrespectful’ than us when we were younger.
It’s a generation thing I guess, respect doesn’t come from slaps across he fingers, in my eyes, sorry.
"
The trouble is, is that it can be easy to judge someone else, when you aren't wearing their shoes.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts "
To be fair I agree I don't mean mark them but a light tap so they no it's wrong and only after been told a couple of times don't beat yourself up over it OP xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is where the reality of being a parent weighs against what society expects (actually the Childrens Act recognises this, as it uses terms such as "significant harm" - "reasonable force" I relation to child protection. Nowhere does it state smacking is banned. It's not, parents can use their own judgements.
Honestly, your little boy will be fine,no lasting damage...Children are resilient, it's when the harm is systematic over a period of time.
Honestly stop beating yourself over it.
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If you want to get a 2 years olds attention and explain that what they are doing is wrong verbally then you sit with them and negotiate in a diplomatic way that their behaviour now will not be tollorated in adult life and they have to stop the tantrums because they can't have their own way whenever they decide to take charge.....
Yeah....your mad if that's what you believe is the approach, no 2 year old anywhere,EVER was successfully negotiated with and they never will be.
Toddlers are relentless, they can't be reasoned with, bargained with, talked out of things, negotiated with and they WILL shred every last nerve in your mind.
Sharp tap to his fingers got his attention that what he was doing wasn't acceptable, stopped it, dealt with, moved on. New day tomorrow and what went on today is lessons for you both and whole new challenge tomorrow. |
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"As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson"
Hilarious, you did see how old he was right? Maybe get him to sign some sort of peace negotiation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts "
I for one totally 100% agree with you. All 3 of mine got a light smack on the bum or leg if/when naughty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t beat yourself up about it, I smacked mine when they were little, sometimes they’d just push that bit too far and despite good intentions it resulted in me smacking them. I’m sure tomorrow he won’t remember it and a light tap will have done no lasting damage x |
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"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult. "
I remember when my oldest, now 26, was a toddler. I was a single parent and constantly exhausted as she slept very little.
One day she refused to help tidy her toys. I literally pinned her down and screamed at her - I was so exhausted and angry!
Only the look of terror on her little face pulled me up short! I felt like the most awful child abuser on earth - even though I didn’t physically harm her!
These days she’s a successful tax consultant with a first in maths - and I’m 100% sure that she has no recollection of the day her Mum totally lost it!
I’m sure you love him too much to go over the edge - but sometimes we scare ourselves with how close we get to it!
Sending big hugs! |
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By *ools47Woman
over a year ago
Failsworth |
"... and I fully expect to get slated by everyone in here but I have to tell someone.
I’m a single dad who full time cares for his one and only. Tonight though, after a tough weekend and me being tired and little one being tired, he kicked up a fuss during tea time and throw everything everywhere.
I shouted and slapped his fingers. Not hard and I’ve not broken anything.
I feel absolutely awful for it. I feel like I’ve done immeasurable damage and I can’t take that moment back, as much as I wish I could.
He was fine after and is tucked away asleep now but I wish I could have just exercised restraint and told myself I’m the adult.
I’ll be honest maybe not a popular opinion but just mine personally I was slapped as a child for baD behaviour
Not across the face or brutally hit but on the back of my calfs or my backside I completely agree with it I think if more children were brought up with fear of their parents and authorities we’d have a much better chance with the new generation I think that we are to light on misbehaviour oo on shoot me now for saying that
Life would be boring if we all had the same opinions and thoughts "
Totally agree with this. |
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"As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson"
This is what I would have said.
Everyone makes mistakes, it's how you deal with them. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Being a single parent isn’t easy. You have them 24/7 with little to no time for yourself. I brought up my three on my own.
There are other single Dads on here as well. Don’t feel too bad about smacking his fingers. Kids do need discipline and rules.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a single parent isn’t easy. You have them 24/7 with little to no time for yourself. I brought up my three on my own.
There are other single Dads on here as well. Don’t feel too bad about smacking his fingers. Kids do need discipline and rules.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I caused my son to get constipation so bad he wouldnt go to the toilet for a week and had to go to the doctors all because i said something stupid"
What did you say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I caused my son to get constipation so bad he wouldnt go to the toilet for a week and had to go to the doctors all because i said something stupid
What did you say? "
Ffs...you don't want to know or you better stock pile the Senokot! |
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Ive never hit my children. .. they are both grown now 27 and 30 ... my son has 2 children ... 4 years and 6 weeks ... I would never hit them ... they are my world ... I had them both this weekend .... and let me tell you it was trying .... as I work 4nights a week ...
OP .... you need to ask for help ... who could you ask for help...?
You can private message me if you want to .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks all and also to those of you who have messaged me to talk me through things.
It’s tough, and I get what all of you are saying. The truth is, he won’t know, he’ll probably do it again and again and I’ll be tired again and again.
It’s how I deal with it moving forward. I don’t want it to be a regular thing as I don’t really want to smack my child, I know it’s happened to many and I’m not saying it’s the incorrect or correct parenting technique, it’s just something I don’t want to do.
As far giving him constipation for something I’ve told him... I couldn’t possibly think what you’ve told them!! |
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"I caused my son to get constipation so bad he wouldnt go to the toilet for a week and had to go to the doctors all because i said something stupid
What did you say? "
he was about 7 well the age when their teeth get all wobbly. On the way home one had fell out in his mouth and swallowed it. So i said "mind when you go to the toilet as it will jump out the toilet and bite you on the bum. Well he freaked out and held his poo in. 7 days before he went to the toilet |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
"If you want to get a 2 years olds attention and explain that what they are doing is wrong verbally then you sit with them and negotiate in a diplomatic way that their behaviour now will not be tollorated in adult life and they have to stop the tantrums because they can't have their own way whenever they decide to take charge.....
Yeah....your mad if that's what you believe is the approach, no 2 year old anywhere,EVER was successfully negotiated with and they never will be.
Toddlers are relentless, they can't be reasoned with, bargained with, talked out of things, negotiated with and they WILL shred every last nerve in your mind.
Sharp tap to his fingers got his attention that what he was doing wasn't acceptable, stopped it, dealt with, moved on. New day tomorrow and what went on today is lessons for you both and whole new challenge tomorrow. "
I bet you cut and pasted that from the Donald Trump thread lolol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's difficult at that age, everything seems like a game to them from what I remember.
Time out in their rooms seemed to help me!! It does even now tbh and my youngest is 12.
"
Yeah - maybe just walking away would have been the better option for sure.
Even if I’d have gone he’d have cried as much as he did when I slapped his fingers.
I just don’t want it to be something that’s happened once so will happen again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson
Hilarious, you did see how old he was right? Maybe get him to sign some sort of peace negotiation "
In fairness, the age of the child was revealed after they posted. |
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"As you said, you can`t take it back. but you can sit down to breakfast tomorrow morning and apologise. Explain that you were both tired but that you should not have done what you did. Treat him like the young man he is. You will be surprised, he may even apologise for being bad himself.
And learn the lesson
Hilarious, you did see how old he was right? Maybe get him to sign some sort of peace negotiation
In fairness, the age of the child was revealed after they posted."
Ah, that makes a bit more sense. But sometimes kids are just naughty. Everything isn't a negotiation. |
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