FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > So sad :(
So sad :(
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I have a male friend and we text every day multiple times. I see nothing wrong in that. I have more male friends (some married) than female ones but it doesn't mean I am having affairs with them all... | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different "About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.  | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. " you didnt have to at all | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. " But HOW did you access his phone records? With his permission? If not, you are very, very wrong | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. " Why is it not right? What claim do you have on him? | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. Why is it not right? What claim do you have on him? " Coz we were about to buy a place together and have a future... | |||
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"Been seeing a guy for a while now. Thought he was great. He has a female friend for the last 30 years or so. I had no probs with this until a few weeks back I discovered he was using a second phone to txt her (She is married). When I challenged him on it he said he didn't want to loose me. This has made me completely distrust him. I was able to gain access to his online phone records and they txt every day sometimes to the tune of 21 txts a day. I can't see the content but I can't help feeling there is something going on between them that is more than a simple friendship. His ex wife had to warn her off and that didn't work either. We recently went on holiday and she was not happy at all. Am I right to be suspicious or am I over reacting? I feel gutted. I would never want to break up a friendship but I just know in my heart this is unacceptable to me. Any advice would be appreciated "don't see what the problem is with texting a friend even twenty times a day I had a friend like that once obviously not for 30 years but for a couple | |||
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"Also forgot.to say, she wasn't happy he went in holiday with me. If she a his true friend, why wouldn't she be happy for him? She doesn't know me at all. And he deleted his texts incase I wanted to see them which I did not. It's the second fone that started it all "how do you know shes not happy you just said hed deleted his texts. | |||
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"Also forgot.to say, she wasn't happy he went in holiday with me. If she a his true friend, why wouldn't she be happy for him? She doesn't know me at all. And he deleted his texts incase I wanted to see them which I did not. It's the second fone that started it all how do you know shes not happy you just said hed deleted his texts."Coz when we were on holiday he told me what she txt him... | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months. "Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read   | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read "I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. But HOW did you access his phone records? With his permission? If not, you are very, very wrong "How wrong?  | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not "Yes it is up to him, and if you're not pleased with the situation, it's up to you to bow out. He has known this woman for 30 years. And I can't see that telling the woman's husband about him is going to augur well for your future together. | |||
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"Been seeing a guy for a while now. Thought he was great. He has a female friend for the last 30 years or so. I had no probs with this until a few weeks back I discovered he was using a second phone to txt her (She is married). When I challenged him on it he said he didn't want to loose me. This has made me completely distrust him. I was able to gain access to his online phone records and they txt every day sometimes to the tune of 21 txts a day. I can't see the content but I can't help feeling there is something going on between them that is more than a simple friendship. His ex wife had to warn her off and that didn't work either. We recently went on holiday and she was not happy at all. Am I right to be suspicious or am I over reacting? I feel gutted. I would never want to break up a friendship but I just know in my heart this is unacceptable to me. Any advice would be appreciated "Does he know you’re on here? | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not "ask him to put a stop to what? A friendship of 30 years | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. But HOW did you access his phone records? With his permission? If not, you are very, very wrong How wrong? "I'm glad I did. His ex wife did too and left him. Looks like it's my turn now.... | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not ask him to put a stop to what? A friendship of 30 years"Erm nope. I had no probs wit this until the 2nd phone came into it. Tells me there's more to this friendship than meets the eye.... | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not "So sorry but you sound scarily like a bunny boiler... If some random woman told me to stop texting my friends I would tell them to fuck off whatever "threats" were sent my way. Your behaviour is far from normal, and quite scary actually, it sounds like your fella needs to watch his back... I don't blame him for not giving up his friends ... Has he told you to give up all of yours?  | |||
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"Been seeing a guy for a while now. Thought he was great. He has a female friend for the last 30 years or so. I had no probs with this until a few weeks back I discovered he was using a second phone to txt her (She is married). When I challenged him on it he said he didn't want to loose me. This has made me completely distrust him. I was able to gain access to his online phone records and they txt every day sometimes to the tune of 21 txts a day. I can't see the content but I can't help feeling there is something going on between them that is more than a simple friendship. His ex wife had to warn her off and that didn't work either. We recently went on holiday and she was not happy at all. Am I right to be suspicious or am I over reacting? I feel gutted. I would never want to break up a friendship but I just know in my heart this is unacceptable to me. Any advice would be appreciated
Does he know you’re on here?"I told him I had a profile when I was single but not been on for months which is true. Today I've came on for advice. Can't even think about meeting any1 else for anything..... | |||
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"You’re on here as a single woman looking for meets but worried the person you’re ‘seeing’ is seeing someone else?! Anyone else smell the hypocrisy? Also going through his phone records is just bunny boiler material " | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not ask him to put a stop to what? A friendship of 30 years
Erm nope. I had no probs wit this until the 2nd phone came into it. Tells me there's more to this friendship than meets the eye...."to be honest the way your behaving i can quite understand why he got a second phone | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not
So sorry but you sound scarily like a bunny boiler... If some random woman told me to stop texting my friends I would tell them to fuck off whatever "threats" were sent my way. Your behaviour is far from normal, and quite scary actually, it sounds like your fella needs to watch his back...
I don't blame him for not giving up his friends ... Has he told you to give up all of yours? "That's me and his ex wife bunny boilers then lol | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not
So sorry but you sound scarily like a bunny boiler... If some random woman told me to stop texting my friends I would tell them to fuck off whatever "threats" were sent my way. Your behaviour is far from normal, and quite scary actually, it sounds like your fella needs to watch his back...
I don't blame him for not giving up his friends ... Has he told you to give up all of yours?
That's me and his ex wife bunny boilers then lol "He obviously has a type  | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. But HOW did you access his phone records? With his permission? If not, you are very, very wrong How wrong?
I'm glad I did. His ex wife did too and left him. Looks like it's my turn now...."It's a friendship that's lasted 30 years in anybodies language you aren't gonna split that up she's part if his life ok he hasn't been totally honest about her because let's face it nobody would understand a friendship that lasted 30 years would they, if he's wanting to set up home with you that says it all to me, just talk to him about her just get him to put your mind at ease about their friendship because I can't see it ending | |||
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"1st your on a swingers site and 2nd you expected different
About time I updated my profile. Not been on here on months.
Well in that case you've every right to go through his phone and anything else for that matter. In fact I'd ring this home wrecker and try get hold of her phone and have a shifty through to. it's gotta be a good read
I txt her asking her to leave us alone to enjoy our first holiday together and if it continued i.would inform her husband. But at end of day, it's down to him to put a stop to it and he is not
So sorry but you sound scarily like a bunny boiler... If some random woman told me to stop texting my friends I would tell them to fuck off whatever "threats" were sent my way. Your behaviour is far from normal, and quite scary actually, it sounds like your fella needs to watch his back...
I don't blame him for not giving up his friends ... Has he told you to give up all of yours?
That's me and his ex wife bunny boilers then lol "Not at all. You're not married to him and "accessing" his phone records ... Does he know you did this? I doubt it from what you have written. Has he told you to give up your friends? So what that he has two phones, many people do nowadays. Just because you went on holiday with him doesn't suddenly mean you can control him, and it sounds as though that's what you want to do
And has his ex wife told you why they split up? Was it definitively, 100% his friend of 30 years? I'd suspect not...
Most men (and women) don't want needy women (or men) in their lives, and definitely don't want people who access their private things without permission | |||
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"I suspect that the strong reactions you received above have come as no surprise to you. The evidence is one of blatant wrong doing. Covert phone tapping could be a criminal offence. Who on earth knows how to do that anyway. So you have updated your profile? It states you are bi-sexual but only looking for lesbian relationships now. I think you have a lot of growing up to do. Besides, this is a swingers' website, so suggest you look up the meaning of the word." I shall remove my status. Thot i had. Wasn't my top priority this morning. Still glad I did what I did. His Mrs did too and got out. | |||
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"I suspect that the strong reactions you received above have come as no surprise to you. The evidence is one of blatant wrong doing. Covert phone tapping could be a criminal offence. Who on earth knows how to do that anyway. So you have updated your profile? It states you are bi-sexual but only looking for lesbian relationships now. I think you have a lot of growing up to do. Besides, this is a swingers' website, so suggest you look up the meaning of the word." | |||
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"Firstly you came on with your story and have ended up destroying your own character by coming across as a bunny boiler you say his ex wife tried to warn her off but failed it looks like the same is going to happen to you as its clear your being played by him the candle he holds for this friend burns stronger and brighter than the one he has for you your not going to win this one as you have no trust between use simple answer is if you want to remain second best stay if not leave" Why is having a friend "playing" her? I wouldn't give my male friends up for a man, not in a million... | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. But HOW did you access his phone records? With his permission? If not, you are very, very wrong How wrong?
I'm glad I did. His ex wife did too and left him. Looks like it's my turn now....It's a friendship that's lasted 30 years in anybodies language you aren't gonna split that up she's part if his life ok he hasn't been totally honest about her because let's face it nobody would understand a friendship that lasted 30 years would they, if he's wanting to set up home with you that says it all to me, just talk to him about her just get him to put your mind at ease about their friendship because I can't see it ending "I have a 30 year plus friendship with a bloke. My partner knows about it and can be jealous but there is no need. We don't speak every day and sometimes it's weeks between chat. So I do understand his friendship with her. I just don't understand the second phone bit | |||
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"Firstly you came on with your story and have ended up destroying your own character by coming across as a bunny boiler you say his ex wife tried to warn her off but failed it looks like the same is going to happen to you as its clear your being played by him the candle he holds for this friend burns stronger and brighter than the one he has for you your not going to win this one as you have no trust between use simple answer is if you want to remain second best stay if not leave Why is having a friend "playing" her? I wouldn't give my male friends up for a man, not in a million..." exactly he's not going to give her up and I understand her trying to see what's in the texts albeit in a slightly sneaky way but the guy obviously likes or loves her if he's going to buy a house with her,I think this problems all about communication | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues." You r probs not the only one. It's not right and never will be in my book | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. But HOW did you access his phone records? With his permission? If not, you are very, very wrong How wrong?
I'm glad I did. His ex wife did too and left him. Looks like it's my turn now....It's a friendship that's lasted 30 years in anybodies language you aren't gonna split that up she's part if his life ok he hasn't been totally honest about her because let's face it nobody would understand a friendship that lasted 30 years would they, if he's wanting to set up home with you that says it all to me, just talk to him about her just get him to put your mind at ease about their friendship because I can't see it ending
I have a 30 year plus friendship with a bloke. My partner knows about it and can be jealous but there is no need. We don't speak every day and sometimes it's weeks between chat. So I do understand his friendship with her. I just don't understand the second phone bit "i can. He probably knows you dont like the idea of him frequently texting his friend so got a second phone to keep the peace | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues." I'd be worried by this and also that she is on here! Plus the whole situation has made her insecure enough to feel it necessary to have to go through his phone records ... you need to talk to him as the whole situation is making you unhappy you don't want to go into the financial commitment of getting a place with someone who makes you unhappy | |||
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"Firstly you came on with your story and have ended up destroying your own character by coming across as a bunny boiler you say his ex wife tried to warn her off but failed it looks like the same is going to happen to you as its clear your being played by him the candle he holds for this friend burns stronger and brighter than the one he has for you your not going to win this one as you have no trust between use simple answer is if you want to remain second best stay if not leave Why is having a friend "playing" her? I wouldn't give my male friends up for a man, not in a million... exactly he's not going to give her up and I understand her trying to see what's in the texts albeit in a slightly sneaky way but the guy obviously likes or loves her if he's going to buy a house with her,I think this problems all about communication " She doesn't trust him though, and is accessing his phone records without his knowledge Would you, honestly, buy a house with someone who doesn't trust you? I know I wouldn't...
Also, I personally don't understand her going through his texts, and then threatening his friend...it all sounds just too much from where I'm sitting | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues." It is dodgy. He's cheating. OP he's playing you. He's using his 'friend' to make you jealous. Walk away and don't look back. You deserve much better than that. | |||
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"I agree with an above poster, the second phone is probably to be able to text his friend in peace without your constant interference " Geez!! It was the second phone that started the alarm bells going! Up until then, life was great and no probs with their friendship. Read the script!!! | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues. You r probs not the only one. It's not right and never will be in my book "Then walk away. You clearly don't trust him and a relationship without trust isn't a relationship. End of. | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues. It is dodgy. He's cheating. OP he's playing you. He's using his 'friend' to make you jealous. Walk away and don't look back. You deserve much better than that. " At last!!! Someone sensible and sees where I am coming from. Than u  | |||
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"Firstly you came on with your story and have ended up destroying your own character by coming across as a bunny boiler you say his ex wife tried to warn her off but failed it looks like the same is going to happen to you as its clear your being played by him the candle he holds for this friend burns stronger and brighter than the one he has for you your not going to win this one as you have no trust between use simple answer is if you want to remain second best stay if not leave Why is having a friend "playing" her? I wouldn't give my male friends up for a man, not in a million... exactly he's not going to give her up and I understand her trying to see what's in the texts albeit in a slightly sneaky way but the guy obviously likes or loves her if he's going to buy a house with her,I think this problems all about communication She doesn't trust him though, and is accessing his phone records without his knowledge Would you, honestly, buy a house with someone who doesn't trust you? I know I wouldn't...
Also, I personally don't understand her going through his texts, and then threatening his friend...it all sounds just too much from where I'm sitting "Never went through his texts once. Please keep up..... | |||
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"I agree with an above poster, the second phone is probably to be able to text his friend in peace without your constant interference Geez!! It was the second phone that started the alarm bells going! Up until then, life was great and no probs with their friendship. Read the script!!!" the second phone means nothing, you're seeing far too much into it, talk to your man not us, you are not going to get your answers from us, just more fuel for the fire | |||
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"Also forgot.to say, she wasn't happy he went in holiday with me. If she a his true friend, why wouldn't she be happy for him? She doesn't know me at all. And he deleted his texts incase I wanted to see them which I did not. It's the second fone that started it all "I do not think you are true friend either, if you can go to the lengths of obtaining his phone records...you should have told him you wanted exclusivity, before opening Pandora's box. I am sure you know that you crossed the line somewhere. Just end the relationship.  | |||
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"Firstly you came on with your story and have ended up destroying your own character by coming across as a bunny boiler you say his ex wife tried to warn her off but failed it looks like the same is going to happen to you as its clear your being played by him the candle he holds for this friend burns stronger and brighter than the one he has for you your not going to win this one as you have no trust between use simple answer is if you want to remain second best stay if not leave Why is having a friend "playing" her? I wouldn't give my male friends up for a man, not in a million... exactly he's not going to give her up and I understand her trying to see what's in the texts albeit in a slightly sneaky way but the guy obviously likes or loves her if he's going to buy a house with her,I think this problems all about communication She doesn't trust him though, and is accessing his phone records without his knowledge Would you, honestly, buy a house with someone who doesn't trust you? I know I wouldn't...
Also, I personally don't understand her going through his texts, and then threatening his friend...it all sounds just too much from where I'm sitting
Never went through his texts once. Please keep up....."Okay, accessing his phone records. Which is worse in fact...especially when you followed it up with a threat to his friend ... That's borderline psycho! You seem to have posted this thread looking for sympathy and for everyone to agree with you but what you're doing is not at all normal. | |||
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"Without meaning to sound rude op you do seem to have a lot of drama with men. Is this the guy you had an affair with 6 months ago? Seems quite quick to have met sindind then want to buy somewhere with them already. " Had an affair with???!!!!! And she is badmouthing a friend of 30 years after having an affair...
Says it all. | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. " How did you access his phone records? | |||
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"Without meaning to sound rude op you do seem to have a lot of drama with men. Is this the guy you had an affair with 6 months ago? Seems quite quick to have met sindind then want to buy somewhere with them already. " i tend to agree with you a pretty quick turnaround | |||
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"Love the green arrow lmao " The arrow of truth  | |||
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"Love the green arrow lmao " And there she goes | |||
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"Love the green arrow lmao And there she goes "Must be too time consuming to hack phone records AND have an active fab profile | |||
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"Love the green arrow lmao And there she goes
Must be too time consuming to hack phone records AND have an active fab profile "she found a bill is all its that simple | |||
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"Love the green arrow lmao And there she goes
Must be too time consuming to hack phone records AND have an active fab profile she found a bill is all its that simple"Fuck me there was a bill to. Greedy bitch | |||
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"Who was she? " can't remember now but it matters not anymore | |||
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"Who was she? " Not a regular poster but she'd posted previously about ending and affair with a guy. He wanted to go back to his wife when the shit hit the fan but still wanted sex with her. | |||
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"Who was she? Not a regular poster but she'd posted previously about ending and affair with a guy. He wanted to go back to his wife when the shit hit the fan but still wanted sex with her. " Ahh OK. She can still access the forums as they are public but she just can't post, so she can still see what's being said x | |||
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"Who was she? Not a regular poster but she'd posted previously about ending and affair with a guy. He wanted to go back to his wife when the shit hit the fan but still wanted sex with her. Ahh OK. She can still access the forums as they are public but she just can't post, so she can still see what's being said x" Very true | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly???" Well that took longer than expected | |||
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"Who was she? Not a regular poster but she'd posted previously about ending and affair with a guy. He wanted to go back to his wife when the shit hit the fan but still wanted sex with her. Ahh OK. She can still access the forums as they are public but she just can't post, so she can still see what's being said x" yes but why would you...... If she's upset enough to delete profile..... Why would she be interested in what any of us say? | |||
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"The op was hypocritical. She got called out, she left. Wether it was lynch mob or not, you have to own your opinions, or leave and sulk when it doesn’t go your way. Spying on people??? That’s what I read. " Yeh cos all people get treated the same on here. Now if she was a regular who had posted that she would have been treated differently. Can think of a few who come across as bunny boilers yet they get are treated totally differently. She was after advice. What she did was not necessarily right, but did she really deserve the mob mentality? | |||
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"You lot hounding people from the site again" We failed with you. Must try harder | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly??? Well that took longer than expected "You got the result in the end. | |||
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"The op was hypocritical. She got called out, she left. Wether it was lynch mob or not, you have to own your opinions, or leave and sulk when it doesn’t go your way. Spying on people??? That’s what I read. Yeh cos all people get treated the same on here. Now if she was a regular who had posted that she would have been treated differently. Can think of a few who come across as bunny boilers yet they get are treated totally differently. She was after advice. What she did was not necessarily right, but did she really deserve the mob mentality?" I gave sensible advice I thought please indulge me | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues." I thought everyone had a ‘naughty phone’? | |||
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"You lot hounding people from the site again We failed with you. Must try harder "I so want to press the delete account button for a giggle,I'm close to it anyway. | |||
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"You lot hounding people from the site again We failed with you. Must try harder
I so want to press the delete account button for a giggle,I'm close to it anyway. "do it cmon you know you want to | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly??? Well that took longer than expected
You got the result in the end.
"Sadly you won't as I can't be arsed explaining why your wrong. Give it a hour or 2 and I might rethink | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. Why is it not right? What claim do you have on him? Coz we were about to buy a place together and have a future..." I think you got a hard time on this thread, I would have been suspicious about a second phone too. As is said on here a lot, relationships are about trust, you can't trust him if he is hiding stuff from you. If it was me I would back off. | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly??? Well that took longer than expected
You got the result in the end.
Sadly you won't as I can't be arsed explaining why your wrong. Give it a hour or 2 and I might rethink "Go and do something more productive. No point in wasting your time. Friendly friendly friendly. | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly??? Well that took longer than expected
You got the result in the end.
Sadly you won't as I can't be arsed explaining why your wrong. Give it a hour or 2 and I might rethink
Go and do something more productive. No point in wasting your time.
Friendly friendly friendly. "Nooo I did that yesterday I thought I'd mix it up today just for the hell of it. | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. Why is it not right? What claim do you have on him? Coz we were about to buy a place together and have a future... I think you got a hard time on this thread, I would have been suspicious about a second phone too. As is said on here a lot, relationships are about trust, you can't trust him if he is hiding stuff from you. If it was me I would back off." he didn't hide it from her he told her about her, it's the age old I wanna be in charge struggle that all relationships go through | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues." I agree, if it was all above board why would he hide a second phone. | |||
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"The op was hypocritical. She got called out, she left. Wether it was lynch mob or not, you have to own your opinions, or leave and sulk when it doesn’t go your way. Spying on people??? That’s what I read. Yeh cos all people get treated the same on here. Now if she was a regular who had posted that she would have been treated differently. Can think of a few who come across as bunny boilers yet they get are treated totally differently. She was after advice. What she did was not necessarily right, but did she really deserve the mob mentality?" No, nobody deserves a lynch mob, but the forum darlings won’t ever post anything like this....fab my pics don’t really open a debate for most people’s oppinions. | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. Why is it not right? What claim do you have on him? Coz we were about to buy a place together and have a future... I think you got a hard time on this thread, I would have been suspicious about a second phone too. As is said on here a lot, relationships are about trust, you can't trust him if he is hiding stuff from you. If it was me I would back off.he didn't hide it from her he told her about her, it's the age old I wanna be in charge struggle that all relationships go through " My post was about the second phone, not the woman | |||
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"Not been on here in months so profile now updated. Had to access his records due to him having a second phone to contact her. I needed to know the level of contact and to me, it's not right. Why is it not right? What claim do you have on him? Coz we were about to buy a place together and have a future... I think you got a hard time on this thread, I would have been suspicious about a second phone too. As is said on here a lot, relationships are about trust, you can't trust him if he is hiding stuff from you. If it was me I would back off.he didn't hide it from her he told her about her, it's the age old I wanna be in charge struggle that all relationships go through My post was about the second phone, not the woman "yes but second phone could be to do with how he contacts her eg he may have a windows phone certain models if not all do not support whatsapp | |||
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"If you believe that or think women would believe that I think you are being very naive "I had to do it myself for that exact reason but having said that he's been friends with that woman 30 years that in itself is a very rare thing, he's told the woman about her and she said she was OK with it all that's changed is she's discovered the other 'phone' which could have a plausible explanation, it's only over thinking it makes it any different | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust." but she knew about her how has that changed except for the contact device | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust.but she knew about her how has that changed except for the contact device" Exactly, she didn't know about the second phone. That is what has changed | |||
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"The op was hypocritical. She got called out, she left. Wether it was lynch mob or not, you have to own your opinions, or leave and sulk when it doesn’t go your way. Spying on people??? That’s what I read. Yeh cos all people get treated the same on here. Now if she was a regular who had posted that she would have been treated differently. Can think of a few who come across as bunny boilers yet they get are treated totally differently. She was after advice. What she did was not necessarily right, but did she really deserve the mob mentality?" I was shocked at the nastiness aimed at her. | |||
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"If she had sat down and discussed it like a normal person instead of threatening the woman and accessing his accounts she might of got a different response" She may have got lies from the man too. If she was being played by the man I am not sure she is the one to be blamed. I am not saying going through his phone bill was the right way to go about it but there is obviously a lack of trust that has built up and we don't know how far that has gone for her to get to that stage | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust.but she knew about her how has that changed except for the contact device Exactly, she didn't know about the second phone. That is what has changed " I see your point but if it were me and I knew about this 30 year old friendship and I had accepted it, that's bottom line she accepted it, then I wouldn’t want to know anything else about it, maybe the reason for the other phone was to do with the other end ok the guy and I said this earlier hasn't communicated it very well but that's guys for you, although having said that I'm a great communicator | |||
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"The op was hypocritical. She got called out, she left. Wether it was lynch mob or not, you have to own your opinions, or leave and sulk when it doesn’t go your way. Spying on people??? That’s what I read. Yeh cos all people get treated the same on here. Now if she was a regular who had posted that she would have been treated differently. Can think of a few who come across as bunny boilers yet they get are treated totally differently. She was after advice. What she did was not necessarily right, but did she really deserve the mob mentality? I was shocked at the nastiness aimed at her." I think being on this scene has warped some people's perception of human relationships and robbed them of showing compassion to others. This was not a swinging relationship, this was real life and she was struggling with, so for her own reason came here for advice. Cue the ....you are a swinger what do you expect/bunny boiler comments. Seriously? How does that help anyone? Imagine this is your first experience of the forums, either reading or taking part. How do you think your comments make you look to newbies? Friendly? Or a lynch mob? It's sad. | |||
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"If she had sat down and discussed it like a normal person instead of threatening the woman and accessing his accounts she might of got a different response She may have got lies from the man too. If she was being played by the man I am not sure she is the one to be blamed. I am not saying going through his phone bill was the right way to go about it but there is obviously a lack of trust that has built up and we don't know how far that has gone for her to get to that stage " well to be honest i dont think either of them should be in the relationship its not one with trust or good communication so would.be best to get out at this stage. Shes only been seeing him a few months | |||
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"User no longer on the site "Care to elaborate? | |||
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"I also thought she had a rough ride. There are ways to criticise someone's behaviour without the nastiness. Whilst what she did is wrong, I feel for her. I know I've done things in relationships that now in the cold light of day I'm embarrassed about. Trust issues can literally drive you crazy. For me the SECRET second phone was a serious red flag. He has shown he is deceitful and isn't open to discussion or communication, he just goes and does what he wants. Also the comments about this being a swingers site....I for one believe honesty and communication is at the heart of swinging relationships. Dishonesty is the same whatever dynamic you have. "
If my partner had a second phone and was being secretive I'd have a look for more evidence. A phone bill showing how often he was texting would be useful in making a decision. | |||
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"I also thought she had a rough ride. There are ways to criticise someone's behaviour without the nastiness. Whilst what she did is wrong, I feel for her. I know I've done things in relationships that now in the cold light of day I'm embarrassed about. Trust issues can literally drive you crazy. For me the SECRET second phone was a serious red flag. He has shown he is deceitful and isn't open to discussion or communication, he just goes and does what he wants. Also the comments about this being a swingers site....I for one believe honesty and communication is at the heart of swinging relationships. Dishonesty is the same whatever dynamic you have.
If my partner had a second phone and was being secretive I'd have a look for more evidence. A phone bill showing how often he was texting would be useful in making a decision. "you wouldnt sit down and discuss it with him first? | |||
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"I also thought she had a rough ride. There are ways to criticise someone's behaviour without the nastiness. Whilst what she did is wrong, I feel for her. I know I've done things in relationships that now in the cold light of day I'm embarrassed about. Trust issues can literally drive you crazy. For me the SECRET second phone was a serious red flag. He has shown he is deceitful and isn't open to discussion or communication, he just goes and does what he wants. Also the comments about this being a swingers site....I for one believe honesty and communication is at the heart of swinging relationships. Dishonesty is the same whatever dynamic you have.
If my partner had a second phone and was being secretive I'd have a look for more evidence. A phone bill showing how often he was texting would be useful in making a decision.
you wouldnt sit down and discuss it with him first?"Yes but she said they'd done that and he deleted all his 'friend's' texts. That to me shows guilt and he's hiding something. I trust my gut. Perhaps she really was just a friend. But with all other things considered I wouldn't trust him. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip...." i dont think everyone got the chance to green arrow her it was as soon as the affair was mentioned she went unlos | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip...." I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip....i dont think everyone got the chance to green arrow her it was as soon as the affair was mentioned she went unlos" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions " PS...if everyone steered clear of people who have cheated before they met them, there would be a lot of single people about. I am guessing once you commit to a relationship you hope it is going to work and not be a leopard doesn't change it's spots type of thing | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions " if it wasnt the same man it was a pretty quick turn round of men so it could only have been in the early stages so for me it would be best to get out now. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions " Yep fair point but if he was the only guy she was seeing and as she said a year it was. | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread. "You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions Yep fair point but if he was the only guy she was seeing and as she said a year it was." did she say a year? If she did it was definetly the same guy umless she had two on the go | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions PS...if everyone steered clear of people who have cheated before they met them, there would be a lot of single people about. I am guessing once you commit to a relationship you hope it is going to work and not be a leopard doesn't change it's spots type of thing" Again very fair point nobody's perfect but it's definitely something I'd consider being committing. | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust." Never trust anyone with more than one phone. | |||
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" if it wasnt the same man it was a pretty quick turn round of men so it could only have been in the early stages so for me it would be best to get out now. " There is no rule to say how quick you have relationships...but yes it could have been, but it is still assumptions and not fact like the post I quoted thought I agree with you though, if it was me I would get out BUT I don't suppose I would know that for sure if I was in love with someone, sometimes love makes you blind and if he talked me round who knows if I would give him a second chance | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I came in after she left so didn't see her other posts, but the question was asked was it the same man, she didn't answer, so it is just assumptions PS...if everyone steered clear of people who have cheated before they met them, there would be a lot of single people about. I am guessing once you commit to a relationship you hope it is going to work and not be a leopard doesn't change it's spots type of thing Again very fair point nobody's perfect but it's definitely something I'd consider being committing." i do agree with you They might not ever cheat again but you always no that they are capable of doing it | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit "For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early)  | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust. Never trust anyone with more than one phone." Never trust anyone with more than one phone....if they havn't told you about it | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early) "hypocrasy | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip...." I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early) "If you want to talk about the enlargement of an organ or tissue from the increase in size of its cells yes
( I googled cos I hadn't heard of the word ) | |||
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" Again very fair point nobody's perfect but it's definitely something I'd consider being committing." I think I am with you on this one | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early) hypocrasy"Thank you | |||
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"Why would a friend, no matter how long that person has been your friend, get upset about them going on holiday together? That appears to indicate something more than just friendship. " | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly???" My thoughts exactly! Great to see the bullies are still here. Seriously, you people scoff at this woman and say some awful stuff but when I read your replies, I’m actually wondering if you’re a little bit messed up....or seriously bored and have nothing to do but fab. Admin why do you let this carry on??? Cos you’re watching from The sidelines, aren’t ya | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early) "Perhaps she knew that he was capable of cheating and so was worried. But also wanted to trust him and felt her guilt made her more suspicious of him. She may not have wanted to accuse him if there was a chance his behaviour was seen as 'normal' by other people, hence asking on here for another viewpoint. | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly??? My thoughts exactly! Great to see the bullies are still here. Seriously, you people scoff at this woman and say some awful stuff but when I read your replies, I’m actually wondering if you’re a little bit messed up....or seriously bored and have nothing to do but fab. Admin why do you let this carry on??? Cos you’re watching from The sidelines, aren’t ya "Not always no, sometimes they are not logged in/ logged in but not reading the forum/ logged in but reading a different thread etc etc. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? " No it's not but the human creature can be a brutal fucker and well if you leave yourself open to it be properd for what your own actions bring. I know personally I've had worse directed at me just for being a reg male poster. ( posibly a little exaggerated put you get my point) | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early)
Perhaps she knew that he was capable of cheating and so was worried. But also wanted to trust him and felt her guilt made her more suspicious of him. She may not have wanted to accuse him if there was a chance his behaviour was seen as 'normal' by other people, hence asking on here for another viewpoint.
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"So to summarise... Woman is suspicious. All ok. He has second phone. Not ok. She illegally accesses his account? The twat had a second phone and cant be trusted. But she declared illegal activity, and he may be having an affair. The twat had a second phone though. Burn him at the stake and put the blame on him. Maybe before she went unlos she spent all her time going through his main phone. "Who the fuck is this and why are you messaging that bitch" etc. We have her side of the story. Maybe, just maybe, the friend of 30 years is an actual friend. Maybe he is reaching out to her because he is in an abusive relationship. We are all as men to confide in someone. When he does, he is wrong? But the twat had a second phone... Yep. Guilty as charged. " You're right, that is another possibility with the facts that were given. Either way it seems like they'd be better off apart. | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early)
If you want to talk about the enlargement of an organ or tissue from the increase in size of its cells yes
( I googled cos I hadn't heard of the word )"Really that's spooky | |||
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"To be honest if i got to a point in a relationship where i distrusted them enough to go through there personal stuff id leave" Definitely this. | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust. Never trust anyone with more than one phone." I have 2 phones, one for fab and dating the other is my personal number. I'm upfront and honest about it. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? No it's not but the human creature can be a brutal fucker and well if you leave yourself open to it be properd for what your own actions bring. I know personally I've had worse directed at me just for being a reg male poster. ( posibly a little exaggerated put you get my point)" You're a popular poster. You're also a different person so will react differently. Nudge me when you next get "worse directed at you" and I'll give an unbiased opinion. | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early)
If you want to talk about the enlargement of an organ or tissue from the increase in size of its cells yes
( I googled cos I hadn't heard of the word )
Really that's spooky "Me googling or the word is spooky?
You picked a great word either way | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early)
Perhaps she knew that he was capable of cheating and so was worried. But also wanted to trust him and felt her guilt made her more suspicious of him. She may not have wanted to accuse him if there was a chance his behaviour was seen as 'normal' by other people, hence asking on here for another viewpoint.
its started to turn into our own mini soap opera"Yeh but don't forget there is a real live person at the centre of this. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? No it's not but the human creature can be a brutal fucker and well if you leave yourself open to it be properd for what your own actions bring. I know personally I've had worse directed at me just for being a reg male poster. ( posibly a little exaggerated put you get my point) You're a popular poster. You're also a different person so will react differently. Nudge me when you next get "worse directed at you" and I'll give an unbiased opinion." Me popular good God tell me you lie I'm a regular who trys to include everyone I can but I'm also nobody's fool and don't like being treated as such which was how I seen it after following the arrow. | |||
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" Plenty jumped on the mob thing though. My point being anybody a regular or not m or f would have got that response if they'd have posted this thread.
You see I don't agree...there has been threads before now of people suspected of cheating and the OP has had great advice even to the point of advice of how to catch them out....this one got a totally different reaction even though she could be the victim of deceit
For me it was the hypertrophy. (Is the the right word It's still early)
Perhaps she knew that he was capable of cheating and so was worried. But also wanted to trust him and felt her guilt made her more suspicious of him. She may not have wanted to accuse him if there was a chance his behaviour was seen as 'normal' by other people, hence asking on here for another viewpoint.
its started to turn into our own mini soap opera
Yeh but don't forget there is a real live person at the centre of this. " whose rational thinking is likely to be distorted due to distraught emotions - but hey, let's call her a bunny boiler or tell her, her actions are totally wrong | |||
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"Well done! The lynch mob mentality is still strong on here. But hey ho she wasn't a regular poster. Now where's that thread about making the forums friendly??? My thoughts exactly! Great to see the bullies are still here. Seriously, you people scoff at this woman and say some awful stuff but when I read your replies, I’m actually wondering if you’re a little bit messed up....or seriously bored and have nothing to do but fab. Admin why do you let this carry on??? Cos you’re watching from The sidelines, aren’t ya "People who get off on human suffering are seriously messed up. But hey you point it out to them and they have 101 reasons for doing what they do. How is this different from the baying mob telling the guy to jump off the bridge. Oh yeh this is supposed to be a fun, supportive community thing. OP if you are reading this I hope things get sorted for you. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? No it's not but the human creature can be a brutal fucker and well if you leave yourself open to it be properd for what your own actions bring. I know personally I've had worse directed at me just for being a reg male poster. ( posibly a little exaggerated put you get my point) You're a popular poster. You're also a different person so will react differently. Nudge me when you next get "worse directed at you" and I'll give an unbiased opinion. Me popular good God tell me you lie I'm a regular who trys to include everyone I can but I'm also nobody's fool and don't like being treated as such which was how I seen it after following the arrow. "Are you saying she treated you personally like a fool because she has posted other dramas, thinking this was a safe place? You know damn well it wasn't personal. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? No it's not but the human creature can be a brutal fucker and well if you leave yourself open to it be properd for what your own actions bring. I know personally I've had worse directed at me just for being a reg male poster. ( posibly a little exaggerated put you get my point) You're a popular poster. You're also a different person so will react differently. Nudge me when you next get "worse directed at you" and I'll give an unbiased opinion. Me popular good God tell me you lie I'm a regular who trys to include everyone I can but I'm also nobody's fool and don't like being treated as such which was how I seen it after following the arrow.
Are you saying she treated you personally like a fool because she has posted other dramas, thinking this was a safe place? You know damn well it wasn't personal."No not me personally people on the forum in general. I think my comments where more sarcastic than personal. | |||
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"Hang on a minute according to her own posts ie green arrow she had been having an affair with this guy that's how they'd got together. I'm sure there was also a post about him seeing this other women she was talking about before her but I could have been reading between the lines on that 1 but she'd definitely posted she had. So why for the love of god was it a shock he could be doing the same on her. I mean come on get a grip.... I didn't read that she had an affair with this current guy - anyway if she has had past dramas is it up to forum posters to shame her/giggle about it, etc? Or give her common sense advice? No it's not but the human creature can be a brutal fucker and well if you leave yourself open to it be properd for what your own actions bring. I know personally I've had worse directed at me just for being a reg male poster. ( posibly a little exaggerated put you get my point) You're a popular poster. You're also a different person so will react differently. Nudge me when you next get "worse directed at you" and I'll give an unbiased opinion." ive seen fireblade get ridiculed for his dyslexia Most of us have had a lynch mob at some stage | |||
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"Am I the only one who thinks having a second phone to text this woman every day sounds well dodgy. That would certainly cause me to have trust issues. I agree, if it was all above board why would he hide a second phone. " Because she probably gave him a hard time about his friend. I wouldn’t back down to anyone if they weren’t happy with me being friends with a guy. Me and my ex husband text all the time as we are still good friends. He has just bought a house with a gf, she probably doesn’t know the extent of our texting but knows we are still friends. There is nothing going on in any way and never will be. Some people just can’t handle that though. | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust.but she knew about her how has that changed except for the contact device Exactly, she didn't know about the second phone. That is what has changed I see your point but if it were me and I knew about this 30 year old friendship and I had accepted it, that's bottom line she accepted it, then I wouldn’t want to know anything else about it, maybe the reason for the other phone was to do with the other end ok the guy and I said this earlier hasn't communicated it very well but that's guys for you, although having said that I'm a great communicator " A 30 yr old friendship where you meet for coffee every once in awhile and discuss life is different to being texted every day about how much they love each other and how they next want to fuck for example. Secret phones facilitate more than isnt it lovely weather conversations | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust. Never trust anyone with more than one phone." I have 5, I’m very untrustworthy | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust.but she knew about her how has that changed except for the contact device Exactly, she didn't know about the second phone. That is what has changed I see your point but if it were me and I knew about this 30 year old friendship and I had accepted it, that's bottom line she accepted it, then I wouldn’t want to know anything else about it, maybe the reason for the other phone was to do with the other end ok the guy and I said this earlier hasn't communicated it very well but that's guys for you, although having said that I'm a great communicator A 30 yr old friendship where you meet for coffee every once in awhile and discuss life is different to being texted every day about how much they love each other and how they next want to fuck for example. Secret phones facilitate more than isnt it lovely weather conversations" but were they texting each other telling each other how much they loved each other I havnt read that anywhere, a friendship that spans 30 years for me is a great achievement how many of us have that? Maybe they do love each other as friends who knows but he was willing to share his future with the op and her with him, she knew about the friend, she accepted the friend or so she said, the technology in the form of the phone is the only problem here and to my mind their could be several reasons why that existed | |||
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"I love the forums, such drama that my life is without, thank God! Hope she is ok though. " It's our daily version of Jeremy Kyle lol | |||
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"Having a plausible explanation is fine, not telling the person who you were about to move in with is not so fine Trust is the major item you need in a relationship, if you are hiding something ( like a second phone ) then you don't have trust.but she knew about her how has that changed except for the contact device Exactly, she didn't know about the second phone. That is what has changed I see your point but if it were me and I knew about this 30 year old friendship and I had accepted it, that's bottom line she accepted it, then I wouldn’t want to know anything else about it, maybe the reason for the other phone was to do with the other end ok the guy and I said this earlier hasn't communicated it very well but that's guys for you, although having said that I'm a great communicator A 30 yr old friendship where you meet for coffee every once in awhile and discuss life is different to being texted every day about how much they love each other and how they next want to fuck for example. Secret phones facilitate more than isnt it lovely weather conversationsbut were they texting each other telling each other how much they loved each other I havnt read that anywhere, a friendship that spans 30 years for me is a great achievement how many of us have that? Maybe they do love each other as friends who knows but he was willing to share his future with the op and her with him, she knew about the friend, she accepted the friend or so she said, the technology in the form of the phone is the only problem here and to my mind their could be several reasons why that existed " The phone itself isnt necessarily the problem. The secrecy of it would be and the deletion of texts. That smacks of guilty concience maybe | |||
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