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High Standards
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before I start I realise I posted this in the Scotland forum so there's no point in pointing it out. I did at first before I realised it would have been better to post it on a more general forum. I only didn't delete it because I couldn't.
I get the fact that women, single or otherwise have a right to be choosy to a degree about who they meet, hell we all do. I personally am not too choosy when it comes to looks and I'm a bit more concerned with personality. Not that I'm being boastful about it that's just how I am. Obviously we're not looking to date anyone on here that's really not what swinging is about but I think it's a shame when I see certain women with really high physical standards. They must be really good looking! Blah, blah, blah! Now in my opinion and I may get shot for this but to be honest I don't care if I do just because someone has the right to have fussy, high standards doesn't mean they should.
I think overall guys have to accept more that women are going to be that bit more choosy, not in general just overall. Frankly I think as a single guy you should feel happy and content that a women thinks enough of you in the time after you've both met to share her body with you. I don't care if she's more plain, pretty or beautiful you shouldn't take it for granted. Don't get me wrong there are some picky guys out there as well but I think by and large the women are a bit more so and partly because it's easier for them at least to gain interest from guys. Too choosy well maybe not but there are those who have standards that are too high. Women...and Men in my opinion with extraordinary standards should also be grateful that anyone would want to sleep with them as well. It's not an ego thing it's just a case of not taking things for granted and liking the person for who they are and in my opinion not being so superficial!
Now I know some people are going to potentially say oh here's another single guy winging, moan, moan, moan and frankly I don't care if people do. It's something I feel I wanted to say. I doubt, hell I know it won't change anything but I just wanted to say it. Being choosy is ok to a degree and this goes for both sexes but I think there has to be a limit to how choosy! |
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sorry am thick and didnt understand most of that can be picky cant be picky part for me its simple want to meet dont want to meet want to block dont want to block personal choice and nothing will mess your head up quicker than trying to occupy somone elses mindset  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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that sounds like the ramblings of a mad man??? honestly, thats quite a waste of time to ask basically why the most beautiful women on here wont sleep with you . . . . or even give you the time of day! |
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By *otswbabeCouple
over a year ago
north cornwall |
"Before I start I realise I posted this in the Scotland forum so there's no point in pointing it out. I did at first before I realised it would have been better to post it on a more general forum. I only didn't delete it because I couldn't.
I get the fact that women, single or otherwise have a right to be choosy to a degree about who they meet, hell we all do. I personally am not too choosy when it comes to looks and I'm a bit more concerned with personality. Not that I'm being boastful about it that's just how I am. Obviously we're not looking to date anyone on here that's really not what swinging is about but I think it's a shame when I see certain women with really high physical standards. They must be really good looking! Blah, blah, blah! Now in my opinion and I may get shot for this but to be honest I don't care if I do just because someone has the right to have fussy, high standards doesn't mean they should.
I think overall guys have to accept more that women are going to be that bit more choosy, not in general just overall. Frankly I think as a single guy you should feel happy and content that a women thinks enough of you in the time after you've both met to share her body with you. I don't care if she's more plain, pretty or beautiful you shouldn't take it for granted. Don't get me wrong there are some picky guys out there as well but I think by and large the women are a bit more so and partly because it's easier for them at least to gain interest from guys. Too choosy well maybe not but there are those who have standards that are too high. Women...and Men in my opinion with extraordinary standards should also be grateful that anyone would want to sleep with them as well. It's not an ego thing it's just a case of not taking things for granted and liking the person for who they are and in my opinion not being so superficial!
Now I know some people are going to potentially say oh here's another single guy winging, moan, moan, moan and frankly I don't care if people do. It's something I feel I wanted to say. I doubt, hell I know it won't change anything but I just wanted to say it. Being choosy is ok to a degree and this goes for both sexes but I think there has to be a limit to how choosy!"
Hm..so you would rather meet woman who isn't so picky...interesting. In my experience the only guys who don't like picky women are those who aren't what the women are looking for...yes you can understand that the said women aren't too bothered about that. Lol |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I may get shot for this but to be honest I don't care if I do.
BANG....
We all are free to make choices, you do, I do and the ladies couples most certainly have the right to make choices based on their own criteria, ..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sooo... is the OP saying that someone should feel obligated in some way to whoever gives them attention? Last I checked, this was a swinger's site, not a shag anything that moves site..
...and if you need the difference explaining....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I figured I would get 1 or 2 negative responses or at least a bit critical rather than negative so I'm not going to complain The post wasn't really that long and if someone took the time to read further they may have finally got what I was trying to say. Somebody said they didn't get past the first paragraph and they had a laugh about it which is fine I suppose. I don't think they were being nasty and being quite light hearted about it. It was Bus Wanker I believe and all the best to you mate. I am glad to get it off my chest
Ramblings of a mad man Ste Blue. Yeah, ok if that's what you say. Did you actually take in what I was saying or is it just easy to take pot-shots at someone which is always the easier thing to do? I think some folk need to realise that I did say it's ok to have standards or be choosy to a degree. Maybe some folk need to read over what I typed again. Read the final paragraph where I said it's ok to be choosy to a degree. I didn't say it wasn't ok to be choosy at all. I just think some people have standards that are too high!
And as for maybe rambling I happen to suffer from a learning condition called dyspraxia. I realise people didn't know this about me so I'm not going to take it to to heart but if I did there is a reason why. I'm not having a go at some people, maybe I haven't made myself clear enough which would be my fault. Because the last thing I want is to be misunderstood! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I would'nt expect anyone to tell me that I should'nt be choosy
The same as I would'nt tell someone they're too choosy if they don't want to play with me,id hate to feel that someone had dropped their high standards to try and make me feel better!
I think ill carry on as I have been,it works ok as it is for me 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do we decide what is too choosy though? Someone who states in their profile that they prefer to meet a person with particular skin colour is no different really to someone who prefers redheads, or curves, or any other attribute. Are they too choosy?
We all have our own preferences. Some may adhere to those preferences more strictly than others, but it's not really for anyone else to comment on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Live and let live I say. Anyone who questions other people's standards have very little respect (if any) for other people's preferences.... still, it won't change a thing really, will it?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not forcing anyone to not be too choosy just so we are clear. This is after all a free country where you have the right to your opinion.You have a right to disagree which is cool and thanks for doing so. You wouldn't tell someone you think they're being too choosy which is fine. I don't as a rule either but I'm just pointing out the fact that there are people who are without naming names. I don't really have to and why would I?! 
Because you have the right to have standards that are too high doesn't necessarily mean that you should in my opinion! It's like someone who has a debate with someone and one calls the other and idiot for disagreeing with them. Because you have the right to call them an idiot doesn't mean that you should. I hope that analogy help make things a bit clearer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not beautiful and I am over weight but I'm very choosy in what I want in a man I am going to sleep with, I'm not here because I can't get sex elsewhere, swinging for me is a separate life to my everyday one, I am here for MY pleasure and MY own self indulgence which is pleasing the man I am with and being pleased, so I need to have a strong attraction to the person, I can't play with someone if they don't turn me on, I am not desperate for sex, I have a fb if I need him, so I don't have to be grateful that someone wants to sleep with me and when I see a profile that says, looks, size, age not important I pass straight by as this says to me that this person is not interested in who they are with as long as he gets his end away and is probably not a considerate lover either, this also includes some of the hot guys and not just the un attractive and desperate ones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe the ops saying some put higher standards in place than they otherwise would
like this place is some kinda alternate reality....
maybe im reading too much into this  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Live and let live I say. Anyone who questions other people's standards have very little respect (if any) for other people's preferences.... still, it won't change a thing really, will it? "
I don't usually question people's standards. I've been knocked back by women and couples because I've either been too short for example or I'm not their type which is fine. It happens and you can't have too much of an ego or egg shell feelings about it. If you do then you shouldn't be on here. But on the odd occasion I have come across women (I'm a straight single guy so I have to say women I'm afraid as it's what I tend to focus on)with overly high standards. Not a lot but they are out there.
They expect really good looking guys(not average)who are tall, muscular etc. I just find it to be a shame that's all. They may be nice enough woman, I can't say they are not as I haven't met them. But I just find it a bit of a shame. And the same goes for some men as well.
Standards are fine but at the same time I like to think that I don't take too many people I sleep with for granted. I'm not trying to put myself on some sort of moral pedestal as I'm less than perfect as are well but I just think it's a bit of a shame. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
As far as I can see it, the OP has stated that people are choosy, and he respects that, but he also thinks it is wrong and, I think I got this from the first post, we should be grateful that anyone is willing to sleep with us. I repeat - should be GRATEFUL! 
Of course I am grateful when I meet someone who ticks all my boxes who is them willing to spend time with me. And they should be too. But that doesn't mean for one minute that I'll decide to meet someone I don't fancy in any way just because they spent the time and effort messaging me. What would be the point? If I don't fancy them from the profile and message swapping, I'm not likely to change my mind when the meet is face to face.
I understand that some people will struggle to get the meets they want, but I think it would be an insult to suggest that they are so bad that they will only get meets if others 'lower their standards'. How would that make them feel?
And finally, as a lot of people say on the forums, if we spent less time criticising others and their wants and needs on here then the site could possibly be a lot better. Sorry if people don't turn me on - sucks to be them I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry, didn't get past the 2nd line of the 2nd paragraph
Hope you feel better for gettin it off your chest anyway whatever it was "
lost me too.... erm, yeh im fussy and rightly so have high standards |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"maybe the ops saying some put higher standards in place than they otherwise would
like this place is some kinda alternate reality....
maybe im reading too much into this "
You couldn't be further from what I'm saying mate. I don't think this is an alternate reality. Far from it! We wouldn't expect someone to be overly superficial when it comes to dating for example so why should it be largely more different with swinging?! I think some people have overly high standards outside of swinging as well and to be honest I don't get why you would think that I think it's any different outside of it! Do I really come across as that naive?! Not that I was saying you automatically assumed that was the case but you did suggest it as a possibility! |
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By *otswbabeCouple
over a year ago
north cornwall |
"Live and let live I say. Anyone who questions other people's standards have very little respect (if any) for other people's preferences.... still, it won't change a thing really, will it?
I don't usually question people's standards. I've been knocked back by women and couples because I've either been too short for example or I'm not their type which is fine. It happens and you can't have too much of an ego or egg shell feelings about it. If you do then you shouldn't be on here. But on the odd occasion I have come across women (I'm a straight single guy so I have to say women I'm afraid as it's what I tend to focus on)with overly high standards. Not a lot but they are out there.
They expect really good looking guys(not average)who are tall, muscular etc. I just find it to be a shame that's all. They may be nice enough woman, I can't say they are not as I haven't met them. But I just find it a bit of a shame. And the same goes for some men as well.
Standards are fine but at the same time I like to think that I don't take too many people I sleep with for granted. I'm not trying to put myself on some sort of moral pedestal as I'm less than perfect as are well but I just think it's a bit of a shame. "
Just as I thought....you think women you want to meet are too picky if they won't meet you.... cynical, me? Lol
Look its a human enough response but put yourself in their position. Not playing often but inundated by handsome athletic young studs who can also be funny, intelligent and you click with. So what would YOU do? This is fantasy for most of us, not essential. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Because you have the right to have standards that are too high doesn't necessarily mean that you should in my opinion! "
If these people you are refering to are having meets, then clearly their standards are NOT too high... besides, their idea of 'extremely good looking' may me miles different to yours so how can you even determine what is 'too high' like you say, it's only your oppinion.
" It's like someone who has a debate with someone and one calls the other and idiot for disagreeing with them. Because you have the right to call them an idiot doesn't mean that you should. I hope that analogy help make things a bit clearer. "
Sorry, but I don't think your analogy works very well, people stating a preference is nothing at all like people insulting individuals... in my oppinion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'll fuck it if it moves.sometimes even just a twitch!
your pooooor cat "
u disgust me...I'll see u when u get home !she never shared that in our chat! wee fucker(honeypot i mean) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As far as I can see it, the OP has stated that people are choosy, and he respects that, but he also thinks it is wrong and, I think I got this from the first post, we should be grateful that anyone is willing to sleep with us. I repeat - should be GRATEFUL!
Of course I am grateful when I meet someone who ticks all my boxes who is them willing to spend time with me. And they should be too. But that doesn't mean for one minute that I'll decide to meet someone I don't fancy in any way just because they spent the time and effort messaging me. What would be the point? If I don't fancy them from the profile and message swapping, I'm not likely to change my mind when the meet is face to face.
I understand that some people will struggle to get the meets they want, but I think it would be an insult to suggest that they are so bad that they will only get meets if others 'lower their standards'. How would that make them feel?
And finally, as a lot of people say on the forums, if we spent less time criticising others and their wants and needs on here then the site could possibly be a lot better. Sorry if people don't turn me on - sucks to be them I guess. "
I think both people should be mutually grateful. Thanks for pointing that out and I apologise for not making that clear. It's not a one way street. I think people choosy is fine.Being TOO choosy is another matter. There's a difference. Just so I make that clear once again which I did in another post.
If someone doesn't fancy someone for whatever reason I think that's ok. I think some people do find certain attractive but for some reason they just opt for people who are strictly more so and I mean in general. If you don't believe me then you need only look at some of the profiles that are out there! as that's the impression that I get. There not in the majority but they do exist.
Yes, some of us do struggle for meets and it isn't always a walk in the park and there's more than one reason why that is and that's just the way it goes. I'm not attempting to illicit sympathy just saying that's how it is and I knew that when I joined so I can't moan and groan because that's simply the reality of it! But I have had meets and I think because it's that bit harder that I appreciate that bit more that someone thinks enough of me after chatting online that they would agree to meet me and I'd like to think the same applies to them.
I don't just sleep with anyone and have said thanks but no thanks before for certain reasons. Either they're too old, too young but I don't think my personal preferences are overly unreasonable. Others have had the same as I have pointed out. I've either been too short, too thin or whatever. And by and large those people I'm guessing aren't overly fussy. They just have certain preferences. But I think some who are in the minority raise the bar too high. I don't know how to make it any more clearer but there are some that do in my view.
People shouldn't lower certain standards to suit others but some go to the extent where I think they get too high. Like me expecting for arguments sake tall model types and that's all I'd meet! If guys for example want to do that they have that right doesn't mean I have to agree with it. I can't force them not to and I'd be wrong for trying because I don't know what's so wrong with meeting someone who is less physically beautiful who is also attractive and with a great personality. What's wrong with that?! Because someone who is drop dead gorgeous could have an abysmal personality and be be downright horrible! And you could be doing yourself out of a great meet with someone who Isn't as beautiful who is a wonderful person! I don't think I'm a bad guy for simply stating that! Looks to me are a plus but they aren't the be all and end all when it's all said and done!
As for not criticising others I have to say it would be a sad world if once in a while we didn't speak our minds a bit more. Yes, this is a fun sight and it should be but it doesn't hurt to be serious once in a while as well. Of course there's a time and a place to do it but I don't see why this can't be the time and place. After all it is a public forum after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say) |
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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago
Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree |
As a member of a sex site, should I wish, I can literally be one click away from arranging to meet any male for sex.
However I choose with whom I have sex with, and the criteria isn't just limited to the fact that he has a pulse and a dick (usually photographic evidence of said dick is supplied voluntarily without any request either!!).
The main fact is that everyone on here has their own preferences, what turns them on, what they are looking for .......... and as it is our bodies, I think we have the right to say who we have sex with.
As a teenager quoted to me the other day 'go build a bridge and get over it'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)"
my cock handles pity shags or sucks well! xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)
my cock handles pity shags or sucks well! xxx"
Yup, I guessed correctly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)
my cock handles pity shags or sucks well! xxx
Yup, I guessed correctly "
geeza pity-titty ride then |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If someone doesn't fancy someone for whatever reason I think that's ok. I think some people do find certain attractive but for some reason they just opt for people who are strictly more so and I mean in general. If you don't believe me then you need only look at some of the profiles that are out there! as that's the impression that I get. There not in the majority but they do exist."
You write a lot to say the same thing over and over. You are judging people for having high standards. They are THEIR standards and if you don't measure up to them, move on.
Yes, I have seen profiles where the pics may not measure up but hey - who knows what they look like in real life. They may be stunning and just don't have good pics, or like me look awful in them.
We get your point. You think people you find unattractive shouldn't have standards that exclude unattractive people. I think that what people like and dislike are none of my business and if I message them and they don't reply, I don't message them again.
You keep saying you respect peoples choices then write long screeds about why those choices are wrong. You are contradicting yourself and not giving a very good impression while you do so. Let it go and arrange meets with people who will suit you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the main problem is that attraction is individual, and you are just fraustrated that others definitions of attraction, and yours, are different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Because you have the right to have standards that are too high doesn't necessarily mean that you should in my opinion!
If these people you are refering to are having meets, then clearly their standards are NOT too high... besides, their idea of 'extremely good looking' may me miles different to yours so how can you even determine what is 'too high' like you say, it's only your oppinion.
"
could not agree more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone doesn't fancy someone for whatever reason I think that's ok. I think some people do find certain attractive but for some reason they just opt for people who are strictly more so and I mean in general. If you don't believe me then you need only look at some of the profiles that are out there! as that's the impression that I get. There not in the majority but they do exist.
You write a lot to say the same thing over and over. You are judging people for having high standards. They are THEIR standards and if you don't measure up to them, move on.
Yes, I have seen profiles where the pics may not measure up but hey - who knows what they look like in real life. They may be stunning and just don't have good pics, or like me look awful in them.
We get your point. You think people you find unattractive shouldn't have standards that exclude unattractive people. I think that what people like and dislike are none of my business and if I message them and they don't reply, I don't message them again.
You keep saying you respect peoples choices then write long screeds about why those choices are wrong. You are contradicting yourself and not giving a very good impression while you do so. Let it go and arrange meets with people who will suit you."
Ok, correction. I respect people's choice to a point but I see what you're saying. If someone in my opinion has overly high standards then I suppose I don't respect it. Is it my business, maybe not but I still think it's a shame. I think the problem in my opinion is that some people just can't accept other's opinions and then they in return get judgemental over someone giving their point of view. Like I said I don't usually voice my opinion so openly but I just felt like saying it. I have repeated myself because I feel I'm having to reply to the same points made by other people. But it's funny how others tell me to move on when they could simply just ignore me. If they really care don't care so much then why bother replying? Anyway, I'm going to stop now as I think as you say I've made my point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Because you have the right to have standards that are too high doesn't necessarily mean that you should in my opinion!
If these people you are refering to are having meets, then clearly their standards are NOT too high... besides, their idea of 'extremely good looking' may me miles different to yours so how can you even determine what is 'too high' like you say, it's only your oppinion.
could not agree more."
I never said it wasn't my opinion and anything else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Because you have the right to have standards that are too high doesn't necessarily mean that you should in my opinion!
If these people you are refering to are having meets, then clearly their standards are NOT too high... besides, their idea of 'extremely good looking' may me miles different to yours so how can you even determine what is 'too high' like you say, it's only your oppinion.
could not agree more.
I never said it wasn't my opinion and anything else."
Neither of us suggesting the contrary. Does illustrate though that we all set our own standards, they are subjective and cannot be otherwise and we do not know what other peoples standards are really, do we, we can't possibly know everyones standards. Therefore we cannot pronounce on whether they are too low, just right, or too high.
Unless, of course, we are subjective and relate them to standards having been applied to ourselves?
Or are you suggesting an ISO9000 and whatever for fabswingers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Because you have the right to have standards that are too high doesn't necessarily mean that you should in my opinion!
If these people you are refering to are having meets, then clearly their standards are NOT too high... besides, their idea of 'extremely good looking' may me miles different to yours so how can you even determine what is 'too high' like you say, it's only your oppinion.
could not agree more.
I never said it wasn't my opinion and anything else.
Neither of us suggesting the contrary. Does illustrate though that we all set our own standards, they are subjective and cannot be otherwise and we do not know what other peoples standards are really, do we, we can't possibly know everyones standards. Therefore we cannot pronounce on whether they are too low, just right, or too high.
Unless, of course, we are subjective and relate them to standards having been applied to ourselves?
Or are you suggesting an ISO9000 and whatever for fabswingers?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry mate i was just on a wind up with my 2nd post
i think the op has just had a lil rant with this thread more than anything. we`ve prolly all felt frustrated enough to do the same about something |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)"
I was going to stop replying to posts as I think I had made my point. But you've asked me a question so I'll answer it.
No I wouldn't expect a woman to meet me out of pity. That's besides the point. It wasn't what I was talking about in the first place. I for example don't meet a woman who is less prettier than others out of pity. I do so personally because I decide that I like them after chatting to them online and I want to meet them and I hope the same would apply from their perspective. I would want a woman to meet me because she is attracted to me for my personality as well as perhaps for my looks although personality to me is a bit more important. No-one should meet anyone out of pity but it would be narrow minded enough to think that someone would meet someone more plain purely out of them feeling sorry for that individual. I don't and I hope others like me wouldn't either. It would possibly be perceived as being patronising if that's the right word to use. It would imply that the person meeting you thinks you can only meet a woman/man because someone thinks you can't otherwise do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)
I was going to stop replying to posts as I think I had made my point. But you've asked me a question so I'll answer it.
No I wouldn't expect a woman to meet me out of pity. That's besides the point. It wasn't what I was talking about in the first place. I for example don't meet a woman who is less prettier than others out of pity. I do so personally because I decide that I like them after chatting to them online and I want to meet them and I hope the same would apply from their perspective. I would want a woman to meet me because she is attracted to me for my personality as well as perhaps for my looks although personality to me is a bit more important. No-one should meet anyone out of pity but it would be narrow minded enough to think that someone would meet someone more plain purely out of them feeling sorry for that individual. I don't and I hope others like me wouldn't either. It would possibly be perceived as being patronising if that's the right word to use. It would imply that the person meeting you thinks you can only meet a woman/man because someone thinks you can't otherwise do so."
But surely looks are important? If I am chatting to someone and see a picture, it doesn't matter how much I enjoy chatting to them, if I didn't fancy them, I see no point in chatting further nor meeting them either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)
I was going to stop replying to posts as I think I had made my point. But you've asked me a question so I'll answer it.
No I wouldn't expect a woman to meet me out of pity. That's besides the point. It wasn't what I was talking about in the first place. I for example don't meet a woman who is less prettier than others out of pity. I do so personally because I decide that I like them after chatting to them online and I want to meet them and I hope the same would apply from their perspective. I would want a woman to meet me because she is attracted to me for my personality as well as perhaps for my looks although personality to me is a bit more important. No-one should meet anyone out of pity but it would be narrow minded enough to think that someone would meet someone more plain purely out of them feeling sorry for that individual. I don't and I hope others like me wouldn't either. It would possibly be perceived as being patronising if that's the right word to use. It would imply that the person meeting you thinks you can only meet a woman/man because someone thinks you can't otherwise do so.
But surely looks are important? If I am chatting to someone and see a picture, it doesn't matter how much I enjoy chatting to them, if I didn't fancy them, I see no point in chatting further nor meeting them either"
ah but if you were chatting and getting on great and they were only a bit on the minging side, might you err on the positive side? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Just playing devils advocate for a second here, so, OP, imagine the scenario that one of these ladies that have rejected you, went through with it, out of pity, how would that make you feel?
Ok, so you would have had a shag, but would you REALLY want it, on those terms?
(no need for you to answer this one Paddy- we sorta can guess what you would say)
I was going to stop replying to posts as I think I had made my point. But you've asked me a question so I'll answer it.
No I wouldn't expect a woman to meet me out of pity. That's besides the point. It wasn't what I was talking about in the first place. I for example don't meet a woman who is less prettier than others out of pity. I do so personally because I decide that I like them after chatting to them online and I want to meet them and I hope the same would apply from their perspective. I would want a woman to meet me because she is attracted to me for my personality as well as perhaps for my looks although personality to me is a bit more important. No-one should meet anyone out of pity but it would be narrow minded enough to think that someone would meet someone more plain purely out of them feeling sorry for that individual. I don't and I hope others like me wouldn't either. It would possibly be perceived as being patronising if that's the right word to use. It would imply that the person meeting you thinks you can only meet a woman/man because someone thinks you can't otherwise do so.
But surely looks are important? If I am chatting to someone and see a picture, it doesn't matter how much I enjoy chatting to them, if I didn't fancy them, I see no point in chatting further nor meeting them either
ah but if you were chatting and getting on great and they were only a bit on the minging side, might you err on the positive side?"
I would, but then I have a soft spot for unconventional looking men. Or, as the OP would put it, my standards are just right! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think personality counts for alot more when ur sizing up a potential partner for more than a shag
those blessed with really stand out personalities do get shags because of it, and what they look like doesnt play such a big role in comparison.
i admire people like that tbh |
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What you are implying (intentionally or not) is there are women on here who consciously think “In other circumstances I would fuck him as he’s just the sort of guy I go for… but I’m going to turn him down and be a little bit more choosey about who I fuck”
Really?
Really?
Oh come on… really?
Do you really think there are women on here who move the goalpost and turn down suitable bed buddies because they have purposefully decided to ignore their crotch saying ‘yes please’ and have created a brand new criteria beyond what they actually find appealling?
We may well have greater options.
We certainly do have a choice to bed a cock thruster who is, shall we say, out of our league.
We may even want to try and so seek something specific… cock size or colour for example, but to turn down a perfectly suitable shag just to be ‘more choosey’……… get real.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i think personality counts for alot more when ur sizing up a potential partner for more than a shag
those blessed with really stand out personalities do get shags because of it, and what they look like doesnt play such a big role in comparison.
i admire people like that tbh"
I'm glad there's other folk who are like minded as I am mate.;-) Some people are a bit more superficial than others. It doesn't make them bad people to be honest but there are those who are too much so in my opinion. Some would rather
shag a women is beautiful for example who is a bitch rather than is a wonderful person but more average looking. I have great admiration for anyone who can let their personality do the talking. Not that better looking people don't have great personalities as well. It just means they may have to try a bit less because they're more physically appealing to most other people. |
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