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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think it's possible to be best friends with the opposite sex? A friend of mine who's married has been friends with a guy since they could walk. They grew up living next door each other. They were both at each other's marriages and meet up regularly for drinks, cinema and dinners. They even babysit each other's kids. Resently though after a night out he locked lips with her. She was stunned and didn't know what to do. She has never felt anything towards him only friendship. It go me thinking as to weather or not a guy and girl can only be friends or weather it will eventually lead to one or the other looking for more. I know for me I've never been just friends with a guy. |
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I think from a guys prospective they might start out like best friends but will grow into something stronger over time. Not all men but prob most like the idea of a women who is to talk to, funny not nagging etc and like one of the lads really ie a good friend so can see how he might think right I want more. But in turn it could ruin the friendship all together. I had a girl childhood friend but was her who wanted more but unfortunately we ended up miles apart and I joined the Army so it never took off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a fling with a guy I met on Pof years ago, lasted a few months till he was posted away. As time went on it was apparent as a couple we wouldn’t work we still speak almost every day and meet up when we can and it’s purely platonic I couldn’t love someone the way I love him but not in a romantic way at all.
He is my best friend in the world He’s talked me down when at the lowest point in my life I wanted to hurt myself he made me see light when I didn’t think it was possible.
So yes it is possible I wouldn’t be without mine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think it's possible to be best friends with the opposite sex? A friend of mine who's married has been friends with a guy since they could walk. They grew up living next door each other. They were both at each other's marriages and meet up regularly for drinks, cinema and dinners. They even babysit each other's kids. Resently though after a night out he locked lips with her. She was stunned and didn't know what to do. She has never felt anything towards him only friendship. It go me thinking as to weather or not a guy and girl can only be friends or weather it will eventually lead to one or the other looking for more. I know for me I've never been just friends with a guy. "
Yes I have a few ladies am friends with 2 are so stunning and sexy.
One of the girls we been out loads and one night she asked if we could kiss I said I wasn’t sure cos best friends she said she wanted kiss then see if was a spark, after kiss we both agreed even though we both agree find each other fit neither of us fancy each other, nothing else has happened and now even closer mates.
The other girl we great friends mostly cos share love for films, games and books no sexual tension between us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say no. I think women can be just friends with men but I've yet to come across any man who feels the same.
A long term male friend of mine (since high school) told me he wanted more and I was shocked. We've since stopped talking as he was quite nasty with it so I'm afraid, due to my own experience that I feel men will always have an agenda.
Maybe I'll be proved wrong one day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think it's possible to be best friends with the opposite sex? A friend of mine who's married has been friends with a guy since they could walk. They grew up living next door each other. They were both at each other's marriages and meet up regularly for drinks, cinema and dinners. They even babysit each other's kids. Resently though after a night out he locked lips with her. She was stunned and didn't know what to do. She has never felt anything towards him only friendship. It go me thinking as to weather or not a guy and girl can only be friends or weather it will eventually lead to one or the other looking for more. I know for me I've never been just friends with a guy. "
It is possible. I was once best friends with a girl who I had known since secondary school. A couple of years ago, we decided to take a step further and become a couple but after 8 months, things got complicated and she ended up dumping me by text and was no longer my best friend  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd say no. I think women can be just friends with men but I've yet to come across any man who feels the same.
A long term male friend of mine (since high school) told me he wanted more and I was shocked. We've since stopped talking as he was quite nasty with it so I'm afraid, due to my own experience that I feel men will always have an agenda.
Maybe I'll be proved wrong one day "
I feel that way too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbh I failed miserably when I tried this, lost a best friend and a lover in one hit. "
That is exactly how I felt losing a partner and a best friend in one go. It really tore me apart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My best mate was a guy. Best pals for over 10 years. We ate...drank..shopped and cried together the same as my female friends. Not friends anymore. Not sure if it had anything to do with his new girlfriend at the time as he changed as soon as he started seeing her and we met less/spoke and less. I'll probably never know but I miss him dearly x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My best mate was a guy. Best pals for over 10 years. We ate...drank..shopped and cried together the same as my female friends. Not friends anymore. Not sure if it had anything to do with his new girlfriend at the time as he changed as soon as he started seeing her and we met less/spoke and less. I'll probably never know but I miss him dearly x"
Id say that hurt |
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For me, yes.
I grew up a complete tomboy, only girl out of 17 kids on the cul de sac.
The majority of my friends all my life have been male without any sexual attraction, and although I've had female 'mates' over the years, it wasn't until last year that I actually met other females I can truly call friends.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My closest male friends are guys I’ve already been intimate with and it fizzled out but the friendship didn’t. If anything, we should have just been friends. We have no desire to ever go there again. They are my rocks and I have so much love for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have a lot of female friends, purely platonic but flirt and dirty in humour. My partner made me give them up, jealousy issues I guess, and I did for her...
Big bloody mistake, miss my darlings like crazy more so now I need there support because my missus has made me as miserable as her.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to have a lot of female friends, purely platonic but flirt and dirty in humour. My partner made me give them up, jealousy issues I guess, and I did for her...
Big bloody mistake, miss my darlings like crazy more so now I need there support because my missus has made me as miserable as her. "
This is why I would never give them up for anyone. It’s not worth losing good friendships for something that may not Work out. I now prefer to meet guys that also have female friends so they understand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to have a lot of female friends, purely platonic but flirt and dirty in humour. My partner made me give them up, jealousy issues I guess, and I did for her...
Big bloody mistake, miss my darlings like crazy more so now I need there support because my missus has made me as miserable as her.
This is why I would never give them up for anyone. It’s not worth losing good friendships for something that may not Work out. I now prefer to meet guys that also have female friends so they understand. "
Serious error on my part, after 18 years you could say it's lasted, but it's not been worth it, I think my relationship would actually be better if those girls were still around for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think generally there’s a distinction can be made between men and women in this scenario, women are more able to keep a relationship with a man plutonic, however I think there will always be an element of sexual desire for the majority of men towards a female friend. |
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I personally don’t have women friends . Not because i would try and sleep with them , but because I have all I need in female companionship with my wife .
I had a recent converastaiin with my daughter who is 26 the other day , and she was saying that I was so old fashioned in my belief that men and women can’t be close friends without sex coming up . So I asked her how many close male friends she has , and her answer was less than she had before she slept with one who was feeling down after being dumped ! Her fella found out and was none too happy .
Different people have different experiences and opinions of course , but I think it’s a shitstorm waiting to happen . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally don’t have women friends . Not because i would try and sleep with them , but because I have all I need in female companionship with my wife .
I had a recent converastaiin with my daughter who is 26 the other day , and she was saying that I was so old fashioned in my belief that men and women can’t be close friends without sex coming up . So I asked her how many close male friends she has , and her answer was less than she had before she slept with one who was feeling down after being dumped ! Her fella found out and was none too happy .
Different people have different experiences and opinions of course , but I think it’s a shitstorm waiting to happen ."
It's working out for you, and I thought making that decision would workout for me, but the other half has turned into a bitter miserable cow who constantly tries to take me on her horrible journey |
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All my close friends since childhood have been men. With the hetero ones, two told me they loved me which I didn't expect nor want but we talked it out. I've had a dalliance with others yet we've become better friends. It is possible.
Unfortunately the wives/girlfriends don't like me being close pals with their men and once the marriage/baby thing starts, I'm shoved out of the picture
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a hard one to answer because you never truly know what the other is thinking. I have close female friends at work who I do go out for drinks with or tea etc but I have snogged a couple of them and wouldn’t say no to a couple more so it’s hard to say if it’s just friends or if the situation arose would you take it that bit further. I have female friends who I am strictly friends with but whether they’d go further is a different story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My best mate was a guy. Best pals for over 10 years. We ate...drank..shopped and cried together the same as my female friends. Not friends anymore. Not sure if it had anything to do with his new girlfriend at the time as he changed as soon as he started seeing her and we met less/spoke and less. I'll probably never know but I miss him dearly x
Id say that hurt "
Yeah it does. I saw him and his new wee one at the park and was dying to just go over and just blether and see how he was but didn't. If I ever see him in my old work I just say hi like I'm just another colleague. It's actually weird. You can see by his face tho he's sorry but it's so hard to not go up and just talk shite to him. I probably should one day x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All my close friends since childhood have been men. With the hetero ones, two told me they loved me which I didn't expect nor want but we talked it out. I've had a dalliance with others yet we've become better friends. It is possible.
Unfortunately the wives/girlfriends don't like me being close pals with their men and once the marriage/baby thing starts, I'm shoved out of the picture
"
Must be hard when it's a good friend  |
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My best friend is female, her husband likes me too, I'd happily go for a beer with him and not her or her and not him, no I don't want to think of anything more than platonic friendship and I believe she doesn't either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I keep a guy at arms length ie. don’t see him too often we can remain friends.
But, every man I’ve been really close to has wanted more eventually. Even after years of friendship. And it’s never the same afterwards, either he starts distancing himself from me for declining or the friendship ends altogether.
I’m really wary of that now. Cause I get along with men really well in general. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I keep a guy at arms length ie. don’t see him too often we can remain friends.
But, every man I’ve been really close to has wanted more eventually. Even after years of friendship. And it’s never the same afterwards, either he starts distancing himself from me for declining or the friendship ends altogether.
I’m really wary of that now. Cause I get along with men really well in general. "
I've found this as well  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I keep a guy at arms length ie. don’t see him too often we can remain friends.
But, every man I’ve been really close to has wanted more eventually. Even after years of friendship. And it’s never the same afterwards, either he starts distancing himself from me for declining or the friendship ends altogether.
I’m really wary of that now. Cause I get along with men really well in general.
I've found this as well "
Like I said up there ^
Men tend to want more eventually, friendship leads to feelings leads to tensions leads to ‘that moment’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of my four closest friends only one is male. I find them all attractive.
My best friend is the one I talk the most about kink with, when I first met her I paid more attention because she was my type. Friendship developed, not sexual tension.
I guess it's down to the individuals, sometimes a balance is found, sometimes desires are surpressed to appeal friendly to people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My best mate was a guy. Best pals for over 10 years. We ate...drank..shopped and cried together the same as my female friends. Not friends anymore. Not sure if it had anything to do with his new girlfriend at the time as he changed as soon as he started seeing her and we met less/spoke and less. I'll probably never know but I miss him dearly x
Id say that hurt
Yeah it does. I saw him and his new wee one at the park and was dying to just go over and just blether and see how he was but didn't. If I ever see him in my old work I just say hi like I'm just another colleague. It's actually weird. You can see by his face tho he's sorry but it's so hard to not go up and just talk shite to him. I probably should one day x"
Go talk to him next time. You may be able to rekindle your friendship. His girlfriend may have been jealous or abusive. |
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"My best mate was a guy. Best pals for over 10 years. We ate...drank..shopped and cried together the same as my female friends. Not friends anymore. Not sure if it had anything to do with his new girlfriend at the time as he changed as soon as he started seeing her and we met less/spoke and less. I'll probably never know but I miss him dearly x
Id say that hurt
Yeah it does. I saw him and his new wee one at the park and was dying to just go over and just blether and see how he was but didn't. If I ever see him in my old work I just say hi like I'm just another colleague. It's actually weird. You can see by his face tho he's sorry but it's so hard to not go up and just talk shite to him. I probably should one day x
Go talk to him next time. You may be able to rekindle your friendship. His girlfriend may have been jealous or abusive. "
I don’t doubt his new girlfriend was jealous . Many would be , it’s normal to be jealous , especially when it’s so common as it is for something to crack off at some point .
I see no reason why she would be abusive , and isn’t it possible that the wee one is their offspring ? If that’s the case she shouldn’t try and rekindle the friendship as it would create the shitstorm I spoke of earlier . And for what ? Because someone feels sad that a friendship broke down . Clearly he didn’t feel the pain in the same way did he , or he would have made different choices . We only have her saying that he looks sorry , but maybe that’s what she wants to see ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My best friend is a female. We grew up together from the age of 5. When I got married she was my best man, (she wore a dress). When I got divorced 10 years later she was the one I turned to. We’ve never had any sexual contact but have slept in the same bed plenty of times. She’s married now to a great guy but we’re still best friends. I’m godfather to her 2 ch***ren. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My best friend is a man! He’s got my back always. Albeit all his new Gf get jumpy about me , but that’s tough I suppose. I see him as I would a girl no different x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My best friend is a female. We grew up together from the age of 5. When I got married she was my best man, (she wore a dress). When I got divorced 10 years later she was the one I turned to. We’ve never had any sexual contact but have slept in the same bed plenty of times. She’s married now to a great guy but we’re still best friends. I’m godfather to her 2 ch***ren. "
That's really nice |
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and we were like “well that didn’t work did it” 
and I’m happy it didn’t work, sex doesn’t have to get between men and women being friends 
