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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
The overtime is unpaid?
Why bother?
That's what I'd wonder.
Is the work manual that he needs to shower so often?
Did he shower so often before?
Trust your gut instinct - he has done it once; the second time it is not a mistake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm assuming me doesn't know you're on here... if so, I'll give you the same advice that I would give a single man in your position - two wrongs don't make a right. Get off here and have it out with him. |
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"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
He turns away 80% of the time ?
He does unpaid overtime every night and has a shower every time he gets in .
You know the answer don’t you ?
It’s obvious , so get out there and have some fun yourself . You say you don’t argue and generally get on well , so sit him down and tell him you’re not prepared to be rejected 80% of the time and you are going through have some fun of your own . Chances are he will confess his cheating and be relieved , and you can go ahead with a clear conscience . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The overtime is unpaid?
Why bother?
That's what I'd wonder.
Is the work manual that he needs to shower so often?
Did he shower so often before?
Trust your gut instinct - he has done it once; the second time it is not a mistake."
Over time is compulsory in his job when needed. It's office work and occasionally some time out on site. I did ask half joking one day and he got think. Threw his phone on the bed and told me to go through it. Said he had nothing to hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
hire a private detective |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
next time he's working late ask if you can go with him but at last minute so he hasn't got time to cancel any plans |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
When he comes in from overtime smell him as soon as he comes in door |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
You can put his number in a tracking rebsite and see were he really is going |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does he know your on fab?
As a couple profile...confusing 
i agree..
i hope you shower as much as hubby does missus  "
Its not meant to be a couples profile. I set up as single and for some reason it was changed to couples. I have mailed to try and sort it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The overtime is unpaid?
Why bother?
That's what I'd wonder.
Is the work manual that he needs to shower so often?
Did he shower so often before?
Trust your gut instinct - he has done it once; the second time it is not a mistake.
Over time is compulsory in his job when needed. It's office work and occasionally some time out on site. I did ask half joking one day and he got think. Threw his phone on the bed and told me to go through it. Said he had nothing to hide."
he might have a secret phone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ?
You can put his number in a tracking rebsite and see were he really is going"
Does he not need to have his location switched on for this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ?
You can put his number in a tracking rebsite and see were he really is going"
probably not if location service is set to off |
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"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
Ring his work, say you urgently need to talk to him as it's a family emergency |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Sounds like the trust has gone op,this is why i wouldn't be able to forgive and forget an infidelity.
Any little sign and i'd worry it was happening again
If you want to save your marriage ,you need to have a warts an all chat and get everything out in the open.
It maybe you're being paranoid ,but you might also be right.
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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago
nr Letterkenny |
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
go out and have some fun who needs a shower just to go back to the office and another before bedtime, Did he always follow a similar routine? What does he wear to go out in the evening? Any other change in grooming habits? Do you know any of his work colleagues? |
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I used to do a lot of unpaid overtime too. I wasn’t in a position to go home to eat (would grab takeaway and eat it at the office). My job before that was similar, but a 2 minute drive from home. I’m sorry if this confirms your suspicions but not once in the “old old” job did I ever drive the 2 minutes home for food and a shower. I hope you’re ok x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the first time you found out he had cheated to now... he probably never stopped. Sorry. But that's the vibe I'm getting  "
Which is why she came on here to do the same thing.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are on here as a single woman seeking meets, effectively cheating on him so I don’t see how you can be so aggrieved if he is finding his jollies elsewhere. "
I haven't met anyone and sure I want too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you really want to know or is it a case of don't ask, don't tell, keep the peace.
If you confront him and he leaves, can you cope?
These things are rarely as simple as we would wish.
If you changed your mind, why are you still on here?
Also the most obvious solution is usually the right one. So if you think he is cheating, he probably is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you really want to know or is it a case of don't ask, don't tell, keep the peace.
If you confront him and he leaves, can you cope?
These things are rarely as simple as we would wish.
If you changed your mind, why are you still on here?
Also the most obvious solution is usually the right one. So if you think he is cheating, he probably is."
I have confronted him. He swore he isn't and told me to go through his phone as proof. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you really want to know or is it a case of don't ask, don't tell, keep the peace.
If you confront him and he leaves, can you cope?
These things are rarely as simple as we would wish.
If you changed your mind, why are you still on here?
Also the most obvious solution is usually the right one. So if you think he is cheating, he probably is.
I have confronted him. He swore he isn't and told me to go through his phone as proof."
But there's no trust left is there?
Maybe counselling? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you really want to know or is it a case of don't ask, don't tell, keep the peace.
If you confront him and he leaves, can you cope?
These things are rarely as simple as we would wish.
If you changed your mind, why are you still on here?
Also the most obvious solution is usually the right one. So if you think he is cheating, he probably is.
I have confronted him. He swore he isn't and told me to go through his phone as proof."
The fact you don’t trust him is a problem if you both want the relationship to work. That’s the question you have to ask him & yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What am I missing here, OP, you're profile seems to indicate you're on here without your husband's knowledge and if that's the case I'm sorry where's your problem if he's also seeing someone else without you knowing? |
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"What am I missing here, OP, you're profile seems to indicate you're on here without your husband's knowledge and if that's the case I'm sorry where's your problem if he's also seeing someone else without you knowing? "
But she didn't meet anyone on her old profile |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe I'm being a bit dim but why on earth would anyone leave work then go back to do overtime."
I was wondering this, I’ve never come home to shower before going back to work again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me."
I'm sorry but what did you expect? |
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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
Its been super hot lately... we've been having multiple showers, he's offered for you to go through his phone. I think you need to talk to him and say what you think and that you're understandably finding it hard to rebuild the trust. He may or may not be cheating. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
I've worked long hours in a job I didn't enjoy .. my libido dropped call it stress slightly depressed whatever I lost interest.. not saying your hubby is slightly depressed or stressed there can be other reasons for loss of libido other than cheating. Split shifts aren't uncommon.
As for you being here ..potentially meeting ..what ya gonna do if you do meet and hubby has been faithful since.. what ya gonna say if hubby finds your profile history of fab.
Seems to me you both need to sort yourselves out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me."
You shared your story on a public forum, there will be mixed opinions, overall I think you’ve been given some pretty good advice - maybe it’s just not what you wanted to hear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me.
You shared your story on a public forum, there will be mixed opinions, overall I think you’ve been given some pretty good advice - maybe it’s just not what you wanted to hear."
I might be wrong, but I wonder if she wanted people to to tell it's fine to cheat which might be what she wants to to hear.
Although guilt = paranoia. |
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"The overtime is unpaid?
Why bother?
That's what I'd wonder.
Is the work manual that he needs to shower so often?
Did he shower so often before?
Trust your gut instinct - he has done it once; the second time it is not a mistake.
Over time is compulsory in his job when needed. It's office work and occasionally some time out on site. I did ask half joking one day and he got think. Threw his phone on the bed and told me to go through it. Said he had nothing to hide."
Mmmn.
Deleted messages and call log?
Or a second SIM/phone.
Two choices, stick your head in the sand, don't upset the stausquo and suck it up...
Or have a difficult conversation and at least know where you stand.
If you both never discussed and worked towards resolving why he cheated the first time then the likelihood is history will repeat and repeat.
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe I'm being a bit dim but why on earth would anyone leave work then go back to do overtime.
I was wondering this, I’ve never come home to shower before going back to work again. "
I don't know. I used to have to come home from my old job and shower... only to have to go out again and then come back later to have another shower. But then my old job was as a porn star  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me.
I'm sorry but what did you expect? "
Oh I expected judgements. Was just point out it's good to see fab hasn't changed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As some people have said; talk to him. Don’t accuse or jump to conclusions; talk.
Yes the situation seems a little weird especially if it’s so very regular, there may be a plausible explanation, there may not. The clear thing though is the lack of trust and real communication between you both. It seems to me as though you’re just ‘getting along’ not actually dealing with your issues. The fact that you’re on here even just to look and escape says that you’re not happy. Is it worth the heartache?
If it makes you feel better to dig around and see if there’s dirt then I doubt anyone could stop you, however if there’s one lesson I learnt from my marriage it’s that I wish I’d talked more about what really was bothering me.
Good luck OP I hope it works out for you. |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
Nope - he is cheating. Who would drive home to shower before driving back and getting sweaty again.
Go with the gut
Mrs _d40 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was coming home from work, showering then going back to work, I'd think I was cheating.....
Seems a bit weird..... Best thing is to sit him down and just ask. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me."
You've only been on here for a week, I expect you've had loads of messages. Don't rush into meeting anyone if you're not sure about it.
Perhaps your hubby isn't going back to work, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander as they say. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Good to see fab hasn't changed one bit. Still as judgemental as ever. I've not met anyone from here and even now I'm not site I want to. Fab is an escape from reality for me."
You're looking for men on a swinging site, supposing he isn't cheating?... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair to the guy if he's driving back and showering and then going off and coming back and showering again... he isn't exactly being subtle is he? Surely a cheat would find somewhere else to take a sneaky second shower in secret?
If he's being obvious I think I might be changing my mind on him. Maybe he isn't cheating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you really want to know or is it a case of don't ask, don't tell, keep the peace.
If you confront him and he leaves, can you cope?
These things are rarely as simple as we would wish.
If you changed your mind, why are you still on here?
Also the most obvious solution is usually the right one. So if you think he is cheating, he probably is.
I have confronted him. He swore he isn't and told me to go through his phone as proof."
If he has google maps on his phone just check the timeline and it will show you where he has been on any given day. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost "
Her hubbys friend keeps popping round to see her.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost
Her hubbys friend keeps popping round to see her...."
Sorry that went over my head |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost "
There's another thread posted by another user today where a guy is popping round to see the user and she's unsure what to do - there are some similarities in the background info and I couldn't help but be devilish as a result  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost
Her hubbys friend keeps popping round to see her....
Sorry that went over my head "
 |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost
There's another thread posted by another user today where a guy is popping round to see the user and she's unsure what to do - there are some similarities in the background info and I couldn't help but be devilish as a result "
Naughty |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost
There's another thread posted by another user today where a guy is popping round to see the user and she's unsure what to do - there are some similarities in the background info and I couldn't help but be devilish as a result
Naughty "
I'll have to see can I find the thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair to the guy if he's driving back and showering and then going off and coming back and showering again... he isn't exactly being subtle is he? Surely a cheat would find somewhere else to take a sneaky second shower in secret?
If he's being obvious I think I might be changing my mind on him. Maybe he isn't cheating "
He would have to be fairly stupid wouldn't be! |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost
There's another thread posted by another user today where a guy is popping round to see the user and she's unsure what to do - there are some similarities in the background info and I couldn't help but be devilish as a result
Naughty
I'll have to see can I find the thread "
Just bumped it up...'hubbys friend' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He isn't popping round to see tittytamera is he? Perhaps you should get together and compare notes after her thread today
I'm a little lost
There's another thread posted by another user today where a guy is popping round to see the user and she's unsure what to do - there are some similarities in the background info and I couldn't help but be devilish as a result
Naughty
I'll have to see can I find the thread
Just bumped it up...'hubbys friend'"
I read it thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Woa!?? Has anyone actually thought he could be a superhero trying to make the world a safer place!? So quick to judge!
But you’re probably right he’s cheating. "
This can be cleared up really quickly by one simple question. When he goes to work...
Does he wear a cape? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair to the guy if he's driving back and showering and then going off and coming back and showering again... he isn't exactly being subtle is he? Surely a cheat would find somewhere else to take a sneaky second shower in secret?
If he's being obvious I think I might be changing my mind on him. Maybe he isn't cheating
He would have to be fairly stupid wouldn't be! "
Yeah. I think we need another simple question clarifying...
Is your husband a complete numpty? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Woa!?? Has anyone actually thought he could be a superhero trying to make the world a safer place!? So quick to judge!
But you’re probably right he’s cheating.
This can be cleared up really quickly by one simple question. When he goes to work...
Does he wear a cape? "
Pfft not all superheroes wear capes... the giveaway is the skin tight Lycra |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Woa!?? Has anyone actually thought he could be a superhero trying to make the world a safer place!? So quick to judge!
But you’re probably right he’s cheating.
This can be cleared up really quickly by one simple question. When he goes to work...
Does he wear a cape?
Pfft not all superheroes wear capes... the giveaway is the skin tight Lycra "
See... that's what I told my mate when he wanted to jump off a tall building. But unfortunately Lance Armstrong didn't fly up to catch him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he asks you to go through his phone i’d ring every number.
It’s quite common to put the other persons number under that of a Takeaway, Friend’s name (that you’ve never heard them mention before) etc.
You could hug him or get sexy with him as soon as he comes in, see if you can smell the other woman on him or give him a suprise blow job. It’s amazing how the cock/pubes trap long hair.
Although if he was seeing another woman why wouldn’t he just shower at hers before coming home?
I hope he’s not cheating OP, and i hope you get some answers and some peace of mind.
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"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
Have you tried phoning him at work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair to the guy if he's driving back and showering and then going off and coming back and showering again... he isn't exactly being subtle is he? Surely a cheat would find somewhere else to take a sneaky second shower in secret?
If he's being obvious I think I might be changing my mind on him. Maybe he isn't cheating
He would have to be fairly stupid wouldn't be!
Yeah. I think we need another simple question clarifying...
Is your husband a complete numpty? "
Never doubt numptyability of either male or female in these situations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ? "
you are he's working hard to bring home the pennies and it's been very warm hence the showering  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh where to start. Was on fab before a long time ago. Didn't meet anyone. I had found our my husband cheated on me on a night out with the lads. Turned to fab with the intention of meeting someone but then decided to give things another try with my husband. I forgave and we moved on. Everything has been good. With the exception of sex. I try hard to spice things up and keep things interesting. He just has very little interest. He will turn away from me 8 out of 10 times. Other than that things are good. We get along pretty well and don't argue much.
The problem is the last two months he has been coming home from work. He has dinner and then a shower. He then has to head back to work for over time. When he returns 3 or 4 hours later he again gets another shower. I have an awful feeling he is cheating and don't know what to do. He is on a salary so the money is always the same. We share a car and he uses it in the evening to go back to work. So I have no way go follow him. I have looked at his phone but nothing on it. Am I reading to much into it ?
You can put his number in a tracking rebsite and see were he really is going
Does he not need to have his location switched on for this?"
no it sends a fake phone call too his phone and tells you the location he received it |
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"The overtime is unpaid?
Why bother?
That's what I'd wonder.
Is the work manual that he needs to shower so often?
Did he shower so often before?
Trust your gut instinct - he has done it once; the second time it is not a mistake.
Over time is compulsory in his job when needed. It's office work and occasionally some time out on site. I did ask half joking one day and he got think. Threw his phone on the bed and told me to go through it. Said he had nothing to hide."
Sounds like he was expecting you to ask, if so he's prob got a cheap phone for shenanigans. I'd say sit him down and talk about it , failing that getting a taxi to his work when he's left at night just to see if his cars there, then you'll know. |
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Man goes to work.
Man comes home.
Man washes and goes back to work.
Man comes home and washes.
Where is the EVIDENCE that he's having an affair.
Don't say the above. The only thing we can safely say from the above is that he goes out twice, he washes twice.
He has been accused, sniffed and pried into.
If I was THAT suspicious and unhappy on no grounds i'd take responsibility for my OWN actions and leave.
I'm basing the above on the assumption that if you find out he IS cheating , you will leave him.
So what are you waiting for ?
Are you thinking..... Well what if he isn't ?
That's not exactly a reason to stay. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The taxi is a good idea and just get someone to babysit. It's not just the showering that makes me think he is cheating. It's the change in clothes and hairstyle. It's the fact that he says he can't be reached at work as the Secretary has gone home. I can only reach him on his mobile. It's the change in his personality that has me asking questions. The fact that all of a sudden he doesn't want sex anymore. Maybe I'm reading to much into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The taxi is a good idea and just get someone to babysit. It's not just the showering that makes me think he is cheating. It's the change in clothes and hairstyle. It's the fact that he says he can't be reached at work as the Secretary has gone home. I can only reach him on his mobile. It's the change in his personality that has me asking questions. The fact that all of a sudden he doesn't want sex anymore. Maybe I'm reading to much into it. "
The simple question is; are you happy? Because if you’re not then you should do something about it.
Cheating or not, the lack of trust is the issue here. Don’t hang around and wait to have your suspicions proved or not, talk to him and express yourself or leave.
I must admit it does sound quite suspicious but that doesn’t prove anything. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The taxi is a good idea and just get someone to babysit. It's not just the showering that makes me think he is cheating. It's the change in clothes and hairstyle. It's the fact that he says he can't be reached at work as the Secretary has gone home. I can only reach him on his mobile. It's the change in his personality that has me asking questions. The fact that all of a sudden he doesn't want sex anymore. Maybe I'm reading to much into it.
The simple question is; are you happy? Because if you’re not then you should do something about it.
Cheating or not, the lack of trust is the issue here. Don’t hang around and wait to have your suspicions proved or not, talk to him and express yourself or leave.
I must admit it does sound quite suspicious but that doesn’t prove anything. "
Other than all this stuff wreaking my head yes I am happy. Wish we had sex more often but other than that things are good. |
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Here's the facts as i see them. Your husband has to work overtime. Have you thought about earning more so he doesn't have to? Your husband likes to shower. This is a good thing. You are on a swinging website. Maybe he knows, and that is why he doesn't want to have sex with a woman who he considers to be having sex with strangers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The taxi is a good idea and just get someone to babysit. It's not just the showering that makes me think he is cheating. It's the change in clothes and hairstyle. It's the fact that he says he can't be reached at work as the Secretary has gone home. I can only reach him on his mobile. It's the change in his personality that has me asking questions. The fact that all of a sudden he doesn't want sex anymore. Maybe I'm reading to much into it. "
It's the Secretary omg you sussed it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's the facts as i see them. Your husband has to work overtime. Have you thought about earning more so he doesn't have to? Your husband likes to shower. This is a good thing. You are on a swinging website. Maybe he knows, and that is why he doesn't want to have sex with a woman who he considers to be having sex with strangers. "
how do we know hes not on here. reading this
two sides |
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"Here's the facts as i see them. Your husband has to work overtime. Have you thought about earning more so he doesn't have to? Your husband likes to shower. This is a good thing. You are on a swinging website. Maybe he knows, and that is why he doesn't want to have sex with a woman who he considers to be having sex with strangers.
how do we know hes not on here. reading this
two sides "
We dont know that. But we do know that she's on here. Anything else is conjecture. |
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"Woa!?? Has anyone actually thought he could be a superhero trying to make the world a safer place!? So quick to judge!
But you’re probably right he’s cheating.
This can be cleared up really quickly by one simple question. When he goes to work...
Does he wear a cape? "
We dont all wear capes you know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe he is avoiding coming home as much as possible & is turning away from you all the time because he knows you are on here.....
Talk to the man!!! "
This has been going on for months and I'm here a week  |
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"Here's the facts as i see them. Your husband has to work overtime. Have you thought about earning more so he doesn't have to? Your husband likes to shower. This is a good thing. You are on a swinging website. Maybe he knows, and that is why he doesn't want to have sex with a woman who he considers to be having sex with strangers. "
Sorry, nobody drives home from work, has a shower, then drives back to the same off e to do the same job. And clearly it isn't a manual job, as he has a secretary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is only one way you find the answer. It's not sleuthing guessing or any of the other creative suggestions on this thread.
Try talking together.
Personally it sounds like a whole lot of trust has gone between you. If you both want it back you only find it by talking together.
If you don't, well your already on fab and if you haven't yet done so are at the very least considering meeting. It's why many are here. Only you and you partner can sort this out, not a bunch of strangers on a swingers site, that's if you both want to.
Some stay, some leave, some live separate lives, some come looking for what they feel might be missing on fab or elsewhere.
Your not going to find your answers from a bunch of strangers. It's not their life, it's yours.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The taxi is a good idea and just get someone to babysit. It's not just the showering that makes me think he is cheating. It's the change in clothes and hairstyle. It's the fact that he says he can't be reached at work as the Secretary has gone home. I can only reach him on his mobile. It's the change in his personality that has me asking questions. The fact that all of a sudden he doesn't want sex anymore. Maybe I'm reading to much into it. "
Have you also changed? Has he noticed something different in you - just a thought as to why he might be acting in this way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know I'll probably be judged but I was the bit on the side for a while. He NEVER contacted me on his personal phone. He had a second phone. I knew not to message him on his personal one.
He also used work as an excuse 99% of the times we met. Or had to work late to make up the time he'd taken in the day to see me.
I've also been on the other side of the situation in a number of relationships, everytime my gut was right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The taxi is a good idea and just get someone to babysit. It's not just the showering that makes me think he is cheating. It's the change in clothes and hairstyle. It's the fact that he says he can't be reached at work as the Secretary has gone home. I can only reach him on his mobile. It's the change in his personality that has me asking questions. The fact that all of a sudden he doesn't want sex anymore. Maybe I'm reading to much into it.
The simple question is; are you happy? Because if you’re not then you should do something about it.
Cheating or not, the lack of trust is the issue here. Don’t hang around and wait to have your suspicions proved or not, talk to him and express yourself or leave.
I must admit it does sound quite suspicious but that doesn’t prove anything.
Other than all this stuff wreaking my head yes I am happy. Wish we had sex more often but other than that things are good."
Fuck men off here instead and just stay married. Pretend you don't know about his affairs and he doesn't know about yours.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know I'll probably be judged but I was the bit on the side for a while. He NEVER contacted me on his personal phone. He had a second phone. I knew not to message him on his personal one.
He also used work as an excuse 99% of the times we met. Or had to work late to make up the time he'd taken in the day to see me.
I've also been on the other side of the situation in a number of relationships, everytime my gut was right."
And there's the Wow moment right there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know I'll probably be judged but I was the bit on the side for a while. He NEVER contacted me on his personal phone. He had a second phone. I knew not to message him on his personal one.
He also used work as an excuse 99% of the times we met. Or had to work late to make up the time he'd taken in the day to see me.
I've also been on the other side of the situation in a number of relationships, everytime my gut was right.
And there's the Wow moment right there"
Because?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine caught her fiancé cheating by using his find my iPhone. She confronted them at the cinema "
I do hope she was courteous enough to do it before the film started or at the end; bloody expensive do to go to the cinema these days! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know I'll probably be judged but I was the bit on the side for a while. He NEVER contacted me on his personal phone. He had a second phone. I knew not to message him on his personal one.
He also used work as an excuse 99% of the times we met. Or had to work late to make up the time he'd taken in the day to see me.
I've also been on the other side of the situation in a number of relationships, everytime my gut was right.
And there's the Wow moment right there
Because?
"
Scarlettx just walked past |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Fuck men off here instead and just stay married. Pretend you don't know about his affairs and he doesn't know about yours.
That's the most sensible comment I've read on here today!!"
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