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Hubbys friend
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?"
Aren’t you looking for no drama OP ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you really want to be involved in someone’s broken marriage instead of being a good friend to help them?
Life isn’t always about sex right?
Whatever he can do to make you good, teach that to your husband. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
This doesn’t sound like it will end well. This will get very messy very quickly.
I don’t know if your husband knows you’re on here and like sleeping with other men. But I assume they have always been strangers.
Having sex with his best friend is just too close to home.
Danger Will Robinson! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say, .....Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has.....
May I ask a question and give an answer but It's just my opinion.
Why has it taken you so long? There's probably the obvious one that he's married to a friend... etc etc...But now you're considering it.
To answer your question though...
Its probably because your feeling someone is engaging and listening to you at a different level to most and you're also feeling useful or needed as you're being helpful.
Be careful though. Is it worth getting emotionally tied up with a fuck/fling/shag/nsa whatever people want to call it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you not intimate with your own husband OP? I would be gutted to know that my wife (I'm not married btw) was getting it on with ma mate  "
Its been a long time since we were intimate. He has no interest in sex at all anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"tell your hubby you want to and ask if he wants to watch
Really??? I’m sorry but personally wouldn’t go down that road at all!! "
Correct my idea is best  |
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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago
Between a cock and a soft place |
"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?"
You can't ask him to stop calling round. That would raise more questions than answers.
You should control your emotions and desires. Forbidden fruit isn't always the most ripe or succulent.
You really shouldn't act on your urges and impulses.
You are talking about long standing friendships and marriages. Not a great combination to be putting at risk.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly? I would ask him to stop calling around. Bad enough if your husband found out you had cheated, let alone the double betrayal of knowing you had it off with his mate. There has to be lines that some shouldn't cross, for sex. For me this is one of them. I wouldn't even consider going there. But that's just me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?
You can't ask him to stop calling round. That would raise more questions than answers.
You should control your emotions and desires. Forbidden fruit isn't always the most ripe or succulent.
You really shouldn't act on your urges and impulses.
You are talking about long standing friendships and marriages. Not a great combination to be putting at risk.
"
If I may disagree.
I'd stop the bird building the best on your head before its finished and it's too late.
OP... tell him that's it's no longer appropriate to call at yours. If you still want to chat then meet elsewhere. Otherwise there's only one way it's going as you've very clearly indicated. |
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"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?"
Follow your gut instinct OP. It’s up to you what you want to do but just be aware of any consequences that may arise. Good luck honey  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s inevitably going to happen if you continue this way, be prepared for drama or tell him politely that it’s no longer appropriate for him to keep popping in.
If you’re no longer getting what you need from hubby then why not discuss it with him ?
Be open a honest about your needs and desires, this is how marriage evolves. |
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"Are you not intimate with your own husband OP? I would be gutted to know that my wife (I'm not married btw) was getting it on with ma mate
Its been a long time since we were intimate. He has no interest in sex at all anymore."
Have you talked about his lack of libido, or is it something that you can live with as long as you have free range to do as you please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?
You can't ask him to stop calling round. That would raise more questions than answers.
You should control your emotions and desires. Forbidden fruit isn't always the most ripe or succulent.
You really shouldn't act on your urges and impulses.
You are talking about long standing friendships and marriages. Not a great combination to be putting at risk."
^ This
It smacks of immaturity imo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you allowed thing to develop then it could get very messy and a lot of people get hurt in the process.
However, feelings can and do take over and are hard to resist. You may be lucky and be able to have your fun and not get caught. However you must be prepared for the back lash if you do get caught.
Good luck with whichever way you decide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No matter what anyone here says you will do what you will do. We all make choices, it's living with the consequences of them afterwards we need to be aware of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly? I would ask him to stop calling around. Bad enough if your husband found out you had cheated, let alone the double betrayal of knowing you had it off with his mate. There has to be lines that some shouldn't cross, for sex. For me this is one of them. I wouldn't even consider going there. But that's just me "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In short, don't have an affair. It'll end in tears.
It also says something about this guy that he'll try it on with his friend's partner behind his back.
Regardless of how you feel I'd actually steer clear of him, suggest he sees a marriage counsellor and not meet unless your partner invites him and is present. |
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"In short, don't have an affair. It'll end in tears.
It also says something about this guy that he'll try it on with his friend's partner behind his back.
Regardless of how you feel I'd actually steer clear of him, suggest he sees a marriage counsellor and not meet unless your partner invites him and is present."
A man of some fine wisdom |
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Oh what a dilemma! Okay maybe imagine for a moment that your hubby has left his phone logged on and what a surprise he has a fab account and he has just posted to the forum! Curiously you read it... In honesty what would your advice to your husband be?
"my wife's friend calls around regularly when my wife is out shopping. She is always collecting something or dropping something back. She always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately she has starting telling me that her marriage is falling a part and that she doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever she wants to do has to be her own decision. Here's the problem she has let me know on many occasions that she fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before she got married. Lately I've been very tempted when she comes around to take things further. She does something to me that no woman ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with her so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask her to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with her ?" |
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By *aranelloMan
over a year ago
Sittingbourne |
If I were you, I would have a conversation about why your hubby is no longer interested. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet, and confront things head on. Do not live a life of being unfulfilled. Live the life you want.
I would not get it on with your Hubby's friend at all. It would get messy. |
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"If I were you, I would have a conversation about why your hubby is no longer interested. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet, and confront things head on. Do not live a life of being unfulfilled. Live the life you want.
I would not get it on with your Hubby's friend at all. It would get messy."
.
Maybe he's fucking his mates Mrs!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's way too close to home this one and will have a knock on effect to everyone when it does come out, which it will if something happens.
You have history with this guy, fair enough but I think we all have with people and just have to let go. At the moment he's letting you know his problems which can bring a connection but it will lead to more emotional trauma down the line |
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"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?"
I'd wait until he sorts out his marriage problems if I were you, unless of course you like the idea of being in the middle of that particular no-holds barred war?
Do you even know if he actually has real problems or is he spinning it? If he's over-egging it you could find yourself cited in the divorce case.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From my perspective I’d stay far away from that one. I’ve just found out that my ex husband slept with a friend of mine, I’d come to terms with the fact he’d cheated on me numerous times but with someone I called my friend just felt worse. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s inevitably going to happen if you continue this way, be prepared for drama or tell him politely that it’s no longer appropriate for him to keep popping in.
If you’re no longer getting what you need from hubby then why not discuss it with him ?
Be open a honest about your needs and desires, this is how marriage evolves."
We have talked about it many times. He reckons he is just at a stage of his life where he doesn't need or want sex anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s inevitably going to happen if you continue this way, be prepared for drama or tell him politely that it’s no longer appropriate for him to keep popping in.
If you’re no longer getting what you need from hubby then why not discuss it with him ?
Be open a honest about your needs and desires, this is how marriage evolves.
We have talked about it many times. He reckons he is just at a stage of his life where he doesn't need or want sex anymore."
I imagine that’s more than a little frustrating for you. Is he happy for you to find fun? X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does your husband know he pops around when he's at work? That would really irritate me (him) if I wasn't aware and we wouldn't be friends for much longer either. Sneaky and sly stuff."
We were all friends before I even got with my husband. He knows he pops in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s inevitably going to happen if you continue this way, be prepared for drama or tell him politely that it’s no longer appropriate for him to keep popping in.
If you’re no longer getting what you need from hubby then why not discuss it with him ?
Be open a honest about your needs and desires, this is how marriage evolves.
We have talked about it many times. He reckons he is just at a stage of his life where he doesn't need or want sex anymore."
I can relate to you in this situation where the other person just does not have that drive in them anymore. Sex is a big part of any relationship, whatever way you look at it. It may come down to you possibly biting the bullet by asking yourself can you be in a sexless marriage for now and the future?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Say he did make a move, why would you want a man who when his world is crumbling down around him, chooses to hurt the one person who would be there for him in a crisis by shagging his wife? What does that say to you?
Because to me, that says he’s a prize plum.
If you want to risk your marriage and your homelife etc etc for a plum then go ahead.
But in my mind, no good man would hurt his mate over a bit of fanny. That alone would turn me off him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you not feel even remotely bad for his wife as I'm assuming you also know her well?
I'd steer well clear. Judging by the replies to your threads on here OP you are never short of offers. Stick with that. I think this is clearly a case of the forbidden fruit appearing to be the sweetest. |
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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
"It’s inevitably going to happen if you continue this way, be prepared for drama or tell him politely that it’s no longer appropriate for him to keep popping in.
If you’re no longer getting what you need from hubby then why not discuss it with him ?
Be open a honest about your needs and desires, this is how marriage evolves.
We have talked about it many times. He reckons he is just at a stage of his life where he doesn't need or want sex anymore."
Ouch. Does he know you are on here? If so you've come to a solution to you wanting sex and him not...maybe you could discuss sleeping with this guy? Hubby may prefer you to sleep with a mate than strangers BUT only if it is pre-agreed. If not then I would steer clear of this guy, it sounds messy. Best of luck to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re staying in your marriage for a reason, probably many good reasons. You have accommodated for what the marriage lacks by being on here.
Why put a satisfactory, if not ideal, situation at risk?
And if you REALLY do want to pursue something with this guy, then do it once he’s out of his marriage and his life has stabilised, not when he doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going as he turns his life upside down.
But actually, for all the reasons listed upthread, taking up with your husband’s best friend is a REALLY bad idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re staying in your marriage for a reason, probably many good reasons. You have accommodated for what the marriage lacks by being on here.
Why put a satisfactory, if not ideal, situation at risk?
And if you REALLY do want to pursue something with this guy, then do it once he’s out of his marriage and his life has stabilised, not when he doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going as he turns his life upside down.
But actually, for all the reasons listed upthread, taking up with your husband’s best friend is a REALLY bad idea."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re staying in your marriage for a reason, probably many good reasons. You have accommodated for what the marriage lacks by being on here. "
Sorry, if the OP had been a bloke, the advice would be stop shagging around on here and fix your marriage.
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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
"You’re staying in your marriage for a reason, probably many good reasons. You have accommodated for what the marriage lacks by being on here.
Sorry, if the OP had been a bloke, the advice would be stop shagging around on here and fix your marriage.
"
Who said OP is shagging on here?? M6 advice would be the same woman or man  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re that unhappy why not end things rather than stringing him along? "
It may be that she’s not unhappy (sorry to discuss you in that term OP). There are lots of people on fab that have partners whom they love and share their lives with but they’re just missing ‘that’.
Far be it from me to judge what people do in their marriages, I’m fairly certain that any decision to do what the OP does hasn’t been arrived at lightly.
With regards to your dilemma though OP; absolutely not! Don’t do it, the fall out and ramifications could be awful and disastrous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re staying in your marriage for a reason, probably many good reasons. You have accommodated for what the marriage lacks by being on here.
Sorry, if the OP had been a bloke, the advice would be stop shagging around on here and fix your marriage.
"
1. She did
2. I think the OP may have discussed that before on the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re staying in your marriage for a reason, probably many good reasons. You have accommodated for what the marriage lacks by being on here.
Sorry, if the OP had been a bloke, the advice would be stop shagging around on here and fix your marriage.
"
Yep, there is always a disparity between advice given to an attractive lady and that given to a single guy. Of course the thread would have gone very differently if it was a SM. Such is fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????"
Another one who doesn't read profiles  |
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By *ymaleMan
over a year ago
nr Bradford |
It's got car crash written all over it, so long as you know, I'll leave the moralising to the righteous one's. But whatever fallout comes, don't complain when you're upto your neck in it, just remember to swim! |
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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles "
Try reading her profile... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile..."
Try reading her veris |
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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris "
Noticed them on 2nd viewing the write up suggests OP doesn't meet. Was merely a suggestion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes the sex we imagine in our head is way better than it will ever be in reality, we build it up so much that it can rarely match. The is one such occasion that should be kept purely as a fantasy.
Then there’s the possibility of an almighty fallout all just for the sake of a fuck, is it really worth it? I’m not convinced it is.
Don’t play with the forbidden fruit..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles "
Meaning???
I read it. I read her veries to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't read every post so forgive me but:
He is your hubby's friend - who do you think he will side with if it goes pear shaped?
You are on a Swinging site and screwing this man isn't Swinging. Its an affair with all that entails
Once you fuck him he will be back for more and you will feel obliged in case he tells hubby
Stop him coming to the house if you value your marriage. But having said that you are on a Swinging site looking for sex so maybe your marriage is screwed anyway.
Basically you are playing with fire. |
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"I haven't read every post so forgive me but:
He is your hubby's friend - who do you think he will side with if it goes pear shaped?
You are on a Swinging site and screwing this man isn't Swinging. Its an affair with all that entails
Once you fuck him he will be back for more and you will feel obliged in case he tells hubby
Stop him coming to the house if you value your marriage. But having said that you are on a Swinging site looking for sex so maybe your marriage is screwed anyway.
Basically you are playing with fire."
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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago
Tralee |
I'm kind of in the same situation on the male side. My wife has no desire at all for sex, but the rest of our relationship is very good. I know I could get with her friend, shes also our neighbour, but it would be too messy. I'd keep the idea's in the head Tamera, tough for now but better longterm. Just my 2 cents worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris
Noticed them on 2nd viewing the write up suggests OP doesn't meet. Was merely a suggestion "
As was my post |
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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago
Tralee |
"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris
Noticed them on 2nd viewing the write up suggests OP doesn't meet. Was merely a suggestion
As was my post "
Miaoo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Meaning???
I read it. I read her veries to. "
It was a joke to the poster above, about them not reading it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris
Noticed them on 2nd viewing the write up suggests OP doesn't meet. Was merely a suggestion
As was my post
Miaoo "
That interpretation of my post was not intended |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been here before, listened to and gave advise over a week, only to then find out that they had been shagging for weeks beforehand.
Ended very badly, violence, police, court cases, divorce, kids messed up now living 1000's of miles away from their family.
And after 15 years, she still hates... |
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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago
Tralee |
"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris
Noticed them on 2nd viewing the write up suggests OP doesn't meet. Was merely a suggestion
As was my post
Miaoo
That interpretation of my post was not intended "
Or was it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the advice. I'll be asking him to call less and making sure nothing happens.
Maybe work on your marriage too and stop cheating "
She hasn't asked for advice on her marriage. Or asked for comments on her cheating. That is not our business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My hubbys friend calls around regularly when my husband is in work. He is always collecting something or dropping something back. He always spends minimum half an hour in the house chatting. Lately he has starting telling me that his marriage is falling a part and that he doesn't know what to do. I just listen and never give advice. As whatever he wants to do has to be his own decision. Here's the problem he has let me know on many occasions that he fancies me and we even shared a d*unken kiss a long time ago before he got married. Lately I've been very tempted when he comes around to take things further. He does something to me that no guy ever has. I want to touch and feel what it's like to be with him so bad. I know I shouldn't but I really do. Should I just ask him to stop calling around or just go for it and have all the sex I've been imagining in my head with him ?"
mmf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the advice. I'll be asking him to call less and making sure nothing happens.
Maybe work on your marriage too and stop cheating
She hasn't asked for advice on her marriage. Or asked for comments on her cheating. That is not our business. "
Yet the forums are always quick to pass judgement. You get used to it. This isn't my first rodeo and was bullied off here before. |
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris "
OP hasn’t asked anyone to comment on her profile, it’s against sure rules to comment about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He doesn't know I am on here. so basically cheating on him then?
OP may not have met anyone on here...
She's verified????????
Another one who doesn't read profiles
Try reading her profile...
Try reading her veris
OP hasn’t asked anyone to comment on her profile, it’s against sure rules to comment about it. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly? I would ask him to stop calling around. Bad enough if your husband found out you had cheated, let alone the double betrayal of knowing you had it off with his mate. There has to be lines that some shouldn't cross, for sex. For me this is one of them. I wouldn't even consider going there. But that's just me "
when a partner cheats with a friend it is so much worse. |
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