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Ruth... gender change
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On day time tv ... born a man
But at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
Your thoughts ......"
Doesn’t make any difference what age she is. If she has reached a point where she feels able to do it then it’s the right time. We need to remember that for most of her life it just wasn’t an option in terms of law, surgery, and also social stigma. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On day time tv ... born a man
But at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
Your thoughts ......
No-one is born a man. A baby, yes. But a man?
 "
If that's the case why have surgery to become a woman?
Honestly very curious and eager to understand more about people's thoughts and feelings about gender.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On day time tv ... born a man
But at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
Your thoughts ......"
You must have an opinion on this to have posted it..... care to share?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On day time tv ... born a man
But at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
Your thoughts ......"
About bloody time.
Good on her. Just goes to show you’re never too old to realise your dreams.  |
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Better late than never must have been awful living all that time in the wrong body but at least now it a more open subject and people getting things down at a young age.I aways say no one would put there selfs though all that grief if it was just a wim as some would say you have one life live it for you and not what you think others think you should and should not do good ku k to the lady in question. |
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Good luck to her .I would have thought 81_was far too old though .there's no way i would do it then or even now for that matter .I've had three friends go for the full transition and not one has worked out 100% right .all three have huge problems .its not all about the body looking right .its not as staight forward as that .you do get complications .I was always told its best to do it as early as possible .I feel I have enough female in me anyway without any op to go about doing this all correctly .but each to their own and like I say good luck to her .its a monumental step |
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I've not got a problem with somebody doing what they want whenever they want providing it's paid for by themselves, I can't believe there's any doctor in they're right mind would be recommending this at 81 though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not got a problem with somebody doing what they want whenever they want providing it's paid for by themselves, I can't believe there's any doctor in they're right mind would be recommending this at 81 though "
The nhs pays for a lot of things that may be considered controversial.
Why should her age stop her getting help? Do we withdraw the nhs treatment for everyone over a certain age? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman  "
Why wait to show them who you are? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman
Why wait to show them who you are? "
Sent a pm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not got a problem with somebody doing what they want whenever they want providing it's paid for by themselves, I can't believe there's any doctor in they're right mind would be recommending this at 81 though "
So do you think the NHS should stop treating everyone of that age, Or just deny people procedures you don't agree with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not got a problem with somebody doing what they want whenever they want providing it's paid for by themselves, I can't believe there's any doctor in they're right mind would be recommending this at 81 though
So do you think the NHS should stop treating everyone of that age, Or just deny people procedures you don't agree with? "
I haven't checked it out but I would suspect a remark like that will have come from someone who is a very long way off 81... |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I've not got a problem with somebody doing what they want whenever they want providing it's paid for by themselves, I can't believe there's any doctor in they're right mind would be recommending this at 81 though
So do you think the NHS should stop treating everyone of that age, Or just deny people procedures you don't agree with? "
My friend was denied medication that could prolong her life. She had reconstructive breast surgery after a double mastectomy a few years ago. Unfortunately she has been diagnosed with cancer again, in her bones.
She's 43 and has 2 children.
I read it cost the NHS £4000 for Ruth's surgery. That could of given my friend quite a few extra years with her young family!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not got a problem with somebody doing what they want whenever they want providing it's paid for by themselves, I can't believe there's any doctor in they're right mind would be recommending this at 81 though
So do you think the NHS should stop treating everyone of that age, Or just deny people procedures you don't agree with?
My friend was denied medication that could prolong her life. She had reconstructive breast surgery after a double mastectomy a few years ago. Unfortunately she has been diagnosed with cancer again, in her bones.
She's 43 and has 2 children.
I read it cost the NHS £4000 for Ruth's surgery. That could of given my friend quite a few extra years with her young family!! "
While your story is very emotive and I really feel for you and your friend, the nhs doesn’t work like that. I can’t see waiting lists being in age order.
The money the nhs spent on reconstructive surgery could have perhaps been spent on giving her the extra years you suggest money would give. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if it was done on the NHS shall we assume that is a great many years of paying tax "
It could also be argued that it was life saving surgery for her too seeing as over 50% of trans kill themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's never too late to follow your dreams but,if I was a gender specialist psychiatrist,one of the first questions I would ask any person in this situation would be ''if this is so important to you (as in Life or Death),why have you never done anything about it before?''
BTW,there IS a right answer to that question,it's not meant as judgemental or dismissive. But for such a major life upheaval,it must be ascertained that it really is necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's never too late to follow your dreams but,if I was a gender specialist psychiatrist,one of the first questions I would ask any person in this situation would be ''if this is so important to you (as in Life or Death),why have you never done anything about it before?''
BTW,there IS a right answer to that question,it's not meant as judgemental or dismissive. But for such a major life upheaval,it must be ascertained that it really is necessary."
I’m guessing they ascertained that it was indeed necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On day time tv ... born a man
But at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
Your thoughts ......"
Still waiting for yours......
some of us have long memories |
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At 81, it's pretty unlikely she had the full surgery. You are presented with another surgical option which is more or less creating the cosmetic appearance of a vagina, rather than a functional sexual organ. One of the group that had surgery around same time as me was older than that and chose that option. The cosmetic option is less invasive with a faster recovery time. There's also a really simple reason that people that age never did it. Zero opportunity. Society didn't make it easy and social expectations carried more weight. They also lived through a time where even just being gay could nab you a criminal record. It's not comparable to now. Good luck to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
"
By the way, OP, it isn't "Gender Change" surgery - is is Gender Re-assignment or Re-affirmation!
She would have been born with a female Gender Identity - just the wrong body, and only her body has been changed. She has done nothing to "Change" her gender identity...
81 years ago, there was very little help, and certainly no recognition - so she will have had to live her life as best she could since then - she deserves respect for that.
So there's no need to keep asking contentious questions on the subject.... as you do...
(Yes, people notice, and have very long memories...)
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's never too late to follow your dreams but,if I was a gender specialist psychiatrist,one of the first questions I would ask any person in this situation would be ''if this is so important to you (as in Life or Death),why have you never done anything about it before?''
BTW,there IS a right answer to that question,it's not meant as judgemental or dismissive. But for such a major life upheaval,it must be ascertained that it really is necessary.
I’m guessing they ascertained that it was indeed necessary "
Clearly and for anyone who might say that the lady in question is too old or should not have transitioned for any other reason, should know that anyone undergoing this sort of procedure has to go through the system and satisfy the criteria. This lady obviously did and,hopefully, has found the happiness and fulfilment that she needed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's never too late to follow your dreams but,if I was a gender specialist psychiatrist,one of the first questions I would ask any person in this situation would be ''if this is so important to you (as in Life or Death),why have you never done anything about it before?''
BTW,there IS a right answer to that question,it's not meant as judgemental or dismissive. But for such a major life upheaval,it must be ascertained that it really is necessary.
I’m guessing they ascertained that it was indeed necessary
Clearly and for anyone who might say that the lady in question is too old or should not have transitioned for any other reason, should know that anyone undergoing this sort of procedure has to go through the system and satisfy the criteria. This lady obviously did and,hopefully, has found the happiness and fulfilment that she needed."
I hope so. Hopefully the people who feel the need to question her reassignment will leave her alone to live out her life now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Her life..
Her right...
Nobody else's business....
My respect......
Totally agree ... fairplay to her a very brave thing to do at any age , but at 81 .... she seemed a very lovley person "
Lol. That was a struggle for you. Well done. Grit teeth and reluctantly say ‘bravo’. The thread didn’t go the way you’d hoped but then I guess your getting used to that now. We still remember the posts you used to make on every single thread like this. Leopards never change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On day time tv ... born a man
But at 81 had gender change surgery ...and now lives as ruth .....
Your thoughts ......
No-one is born a man. A baby, yes. But a man?
"
but a man can be a babe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman
Do it now .... dont waste time ... "
Ah if was only so easy but with life's comes extended problemsolving. When the time is right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman
Do it now .... dont waste time ...
Ah if was only so easy but with life's comes extended problems. When the time is right "
Shite I keep make a hash of that..got it right then third time thank feck |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman
Do it now .... dont waste time ...
Ah if was only so easy but with life's comes extended problems. When the time is right
Shite I keep make a hash of that..got it right then third time thank feck "
I can use the Cats bum emoji now...as I have one...not me, the cat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Her life..
Her right...
Nobody else's business....
My respect......
Totally agree ... fairplay to her a very brave thing to do at any age , but at 81 .... she seemed a very lovley person
Lol. That was a struggle for you. Well done. Grit teeth and reluctantly say ‘bravo’. The thread didn’t go the way you’d hoped but then I guess your getting used to that now. We still remember the posts you used to make on every single thread like this. Leopards never change. "
Well now, fair's fair. Maybe by having reason to think about the issues and a little insight has changed Mellons n Creams views.
If so then good on her for having the decency to see the good in someone who she may have previously dismissed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman
Do it now .... dont waste time ...
Ah if was only so easy but with life's comes extended problems. When the time is right
Shite I keep make a hash of that..got it right then third time thank feck
I can use the Cats bum emoji now...as I have one...not me, the cat "
Ah the famous windmill |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Better then my plan of a open coffin when I curl my toes up....just be a pity I won't be around to see Thier faces when I'm all done up as a woman
Do it now .... dont waste time ...
Ah if was only so easy but with life's comes extended problems. When the time is right
Shite I keep make a hash of that..got it right then third time thank feck
I can use the Cats bum emoji now...as I have one...not me, the cat
Ah the famous windmill "
I know...more nostalgia |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just find it tragic that someone had to live 81 years before this happened for her. The years of feeling alien in her own body in some way.
I have to be honest part of me thought, why go through that and why did the nhs spend that money at her age, don’t like that I had those thoughts, but then my main thought is surely if someone has struggled for 81 years which issues around their gender they deserve some peace and happiness in their body for the last few years of their life. |
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"Her life..
Her right...
Nobody else's business....
My respect......
Totally agree ... fairplay to her a very brave thing to do at any age , but at 81 .... she seemed a very lovley person
Lol. That was a struggle for you. Well done. Grit teeth and reluctantly say ‘bravo’. The thread didn’t go the way you’d hoped but then I guess your getting used to that now. We still remember the posts you used to make on every single thread like this. Leopards never change.
Well now, fair's fair. Maybe by having reason to think about the issues and a little insight has changed Mellons n Creams views.
If so then good on her for having the decency to see the good in someone who she may have previously dismissed."
Oh no I never dismissed the lady ....I enjoyed the interveiw.... an inspirational lady ...
I just asked for views, as its a forum ....some folk assumed I was some how being critical , however they were too quick to judge . I found the comments interesting everyone is entitled to an opinion .... im a good listener. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Her life..
Her right...
Nobody else's business....
My respect......
Totally agree ... fairplay to her a very brave thing to do at any age , but at 81 .... she seemed a very lovley person
Lol. That was a struggle for you. Well done. Grit teeth and reluctantly say ‘bravo’. The thread didn’t go the way you’d hoped but then I guess your getting used to that now. We still remember the posts you used to make on every single thread like this. Leopards never change.
Well now, fair's fair. Maybe by having reason to think about the issues and a little insight has changed Mellons n Creams views.
If so then good on her for having the decency to see the good in someone who she may have previously dismissed.
Oh no I never dismissed the lady ....I enjoyed the interveiw.... an inspirational lady ...
I just asked for views, as its a forum ....some folk assumed I was some how being critical , however they were too quick to judge . I found the comments interesting everyone is entitled to an opinion .... im a good listener. "
Strange thing is after you fluttered your eyes at me I thought it's only polite to look you over...but I couldn't. So it works both ways now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Carnt do right for doing wrong here "
Very sorry but some of us do have long memories of comments that you have made in the past on various LGBT issues... not particularly nice ones...
And you did start this thread by asking for other people's opinions - without daring to offer your own first...
It felt very much that you wanted to see which way the wind was blowing before you committed your own thoughts.
If you are now pro-LGBT, then good for you and thank you very much, genuinely - but please could you think about being a little more up-front about it in future.
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"For me i have nothing but respect for her, to go though gender confirmation at her age.... Just wow i am in awe.
I just feel so sad she had to wait til 81  "
Ive done more research on her ... really interesting
A genuinely nice person
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