teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for YOU.There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
How about some fun jokes..feel free to add some.
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,
"Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...
.....but I like your thinking." |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
At the end of the tax
year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a
synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and
said: "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle
drippings?"
"Good question", noted the
Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and
every now and then they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh", replied the auditor, somewhat
disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he
went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these biscuit purchases?
What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes",
replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him
with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to
the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy
biscuits."
"I see!" replied the auditor,
thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well,
Rabbi", he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from
the circumcisions
you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste",
answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send
them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete
prick." |
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A guy is walking down the street and he sees his friend with a black eye. He asks him what happened.
His friends says, "Well I was in church and..."
The man interrupts "Church! How do you get hurt in church?"
The friend continues, "Well I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while what with all the standing, sitting and kneeling, I noticed she had developed a wegie. Now me being a nice guy, I pulled it out for her. She turned around "WHACK" "
The man says "I cant believe you did that", and continues walking.
A week later he sees his friend again and he has another black eye. He asks him what happened this time and his friend responds, "Well I was in church again..."
The man interrupts "CHURCH AGAIN? How do you keep getting hurt in church?!"
The friend explains, "Well, I was sitting behind Angelina again and..."
"Don't tell me you did it again"
"I did not, after all of the standing, sitting, and kneeling, I noticed the wegie again..."
"you pulled it out again..."
"I did not pull it out. This time he husband was with her an he pulled it out for her. Now, I know she doesn't like that, so I pushed it back in." |
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