FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How to avoid Deception online.....
How to avoid Deception online.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person..."
Hey fussy you already know what you need to do and how some get around pics or why you don't see specific parts of their bodies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The liars make it difficult for those like me who tell the truth. I really am 59 and I do resemble my pics. Because I am honest (possibly foolishly) I assume everyone else is until proved otherwise. Best thing is to go with your gut, if you sense something is amiss it probably is, but I don't think you can automatically brand everyone as dishonest |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The liars make it difficult for those like me who tell the truth. I really am 59 and I do resemble my pics. Because I am honest (possibly foolishly) I assume everyone else is until proved otherwise. Best thing is to go with your gut, if you sense something is amiss it probably is, but I don't think you can automatically brand everyone as dishonest "
Here is the problem.... you can’t predict dishonesty..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is why I only meet when I've seen clear pics and lots of them. I've never met anyone that didn't look like their pictures. People are clever at posting deceptive pics and people who are reluctant to swap are normally hiding for a reason. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person...Hey fussy you already know what you need to do and how some get around pics or why you don't see specific parts of their bodies "
You see, I’m not looking for perfect.... I just want what’s in the picture...
It’s like buying a product online and it looks great... you order it .... it shows up at your door and is nothing like in the picture....
There is no product reviews/feedback for swinging like on ecommerce websites ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is why I only meet when I've seen clear pics and lots of them. I've never met anyone that didn't look like their pictures. People are clever at posting deceptive pics and people who are reluctant to swap are normally hiding for a reason. "
But how do you avoid asking for more pics without sounding like a pic collector?
Looking at your profile, you have many pics from different angles.... if I was going to meet you... I would ask for 1 or 2 face pics only... |
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"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person...Hey fussy you already know what you need to do and how some get around pics or why you don't see specific parts of their bodies
You see, I’m not looking for perfect.... I just want what’s in the picture...
It’s like buying a product online and it looks great... you order it .... it shows up at your door and is nothing like in the picture....
There is no product reviews/feedback for swinging like on ecommerce websites ..."
Erm isn't that what Verifications are for! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh people telling .... happens in the real world too  "
So do you have any helpful advice?
Any stories of this situation happening to you?
Or would a kiss, fuck , pass thread be more to your liking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The liars make it difficult for those like me who tell the truth. I really am 59 and I do resemble my pics. Because I am honest (possibly foolishly) I assume everyone else is until proved otherwise. Best thing is to go with your gut, if you sense something is amiss it probably is, but I don't think you can automatically brand everyone as dishonest
Here is the problem.... you can’t predict dishonesty....."
You can't, which is why you need to use common sense and gut instinct as much as possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why I only meet when I've seen clear pics and lots of them. I've never met anyone that didn't look like their pictures. People are clever at posting deceptive pics and people who are reluctant to swap are normally hiding for a reason.
But how do you avoid asking for more pics without sounding like a pic collector?
Looking at your profile, you have many pics from different angles.... if I was going to meet you... I would ask for 1 or 2 face pics only... "
I chat loads to those I meet as I only meet when I feel comfortable enough to (I Don't do social meets so everything has to feel right). Normally part of the chatting and getting to know someone involves picture swapping. If they aren't keen then alarm bells ring and I won't take things further. It may be just that they don't want to and nothing sinister but I don't need to take that risk... so I don't. |
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"Gosh people telling .... happens in the real world too
So do you have any helpful advice?
Any stories of this situation happening to you?
Or would a kiss, fuck , pass thread be more to your liking?"
.
How much spare time have you got ....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person...Hey fussy you already know what you need to do and how some get around pics or why you don't see specific parts of their bodies
You see, I’m not looking for perfect.... I just want what’s in the picture...
It’s like buying a product online and it looks great... you order it .... it shows up at your door and is nothing like in the picture....
There is no product reviews/feedback for swinging like on ecommerce websites ...
Erm isn't that what Verifications are for!"
Verifications only say , she sucked like a Hoover and treat her with respect.....
No one ever post a negative verification....
When reading product reviews.... they show the negative and positive ones.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person...Hey fussy you already know what you need to do and how some get around pics or why you don't see specific parts of their bodies
You see, I’m not looking for perfect.... I just want what’s in the picture...
It’s like buying a product online and it looks great... you order it .... it shows up at your door and is nothing like in the picture....
There is no product reviews/feedback for swinging like on ecommerce websites ...
Erm isn't that what Verifications are for!"
Veris are like marketing. Have you ever seen a bad one? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet "
I’m not trying to be rude.... but I don’t understand what you’re saying....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet "
loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right "
This attitude is enabling people to be dishonest.....
If everyone is nice to the deceiver and is just happy the person showed up... this will encourage the deceiver to carry on with their actions.....
I was very nice to my date for the simple fact that I had no other options on a Monday night...
If it was the weekend, I would have left at Hello... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right
This attitude is enabling people to be dishonest.....
If everyone is nice to the deceiver and is just happy the person showed up... this will encourage the deceiver to carry on with their actions.....
I was very nice to my date for the simple fact that I had no other options on a Monday night...
If it was the weekend, I would have left at Hello..."
People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right
This attitude is enabling people to be dishonest.....
If everyone is nice to the deceiver and is just happy the person showed up... this will encourage the deceiver to carry on with their actions.....
I was very nice to my date for the simple fact that I had no other options on a Monday night...
If it was the weekend, I would have left at Hello...People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly "
an |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always do a social first. Even if they do look like their pics we may not get on in person.
Doesn't matter if we chatted for weeks and swapped 100 pics. If there's no attraction when we meet that's the end of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly "
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! "
maybe I'm just a little more flexible than most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! maybe I'm just a little more flexible than most "
Maybe I've no desire or need to be flexible when it comes to meeting strangers for sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! maybe I'm just a little more flexible than most
Maybe I've no desire or need to be flexible when it comes to meeting strangers for sex. "
You don’t do yoga then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! maybe I'm just a little more flexible than most
Maybe I've no desire or need to be flexible when it comes to meeting strangers for sex. "
Well as a woman you have choice so you can afford to be fastidious, I meet new people everyday of my life it's not traumatic for me I am a sucker for a nice welcoming smile, after that it's all down hill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! maybe I'm just a little more flexible than most
Maybe I've no desire or need to be flexible when it comes to meeting strangers for sex.
You don’t do yoga then"
No. I do what all women do and lie there like a sack of spuds. No need for yoga. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him 
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People are dishonest omg when did that happen, when you've been in this life a while you will understand and if you have been then wanting everything perfect is possibly and impossible dream, I said possibly
If you've been in this lifestyle long enough, you develop your own techniques to make things work and avoid the pitfalls by learning from your mistakes don't you? Expecting someone to be how they have led you to believe isn't an impossible dream at all. I don't know why anyone would accept that it is! maybe I'm just a little more flexible than most
Maybe I've no desire or need to be flexible when it comes to meeting strangers for sex.
You don’t do yoga then
No. I do what all women do and lie there like a sack of spuds. No need for yoga. "
It's OK I have a potato peeler |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right
This attitude is enabling people to be dishonest.....
If everyone is nice to the deceiver and is just happy the person showed up... this will encourage the deceiver to carry on with their actions.....
I was very nice to my date for the simple fact that I had no other options on a Monday night...
If it was the weekend, I would have left at Hello..."
I hate taking photos...it’s a ballache and I’m a perfectionist with OCD tendencies. That profile is my shop window - I’m going to put out my nicest stuff, natch.
So I use my words on my profile to make it clear that I have a wobbly-bobbly body. If someone can’t be bothered to take a chance based on what they see in my profile text and pictures, then not probably not the kind of person I want to have fun with.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! "
damn I hate that word shallow and especially would if I was a sub because I like to go deep |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I have older and new pics on my profile. I can send a fully clothed pic so people can see what I look like now. I ask for a recent pic if pics are old on a profile. Mostly due to a guy on another site turning up several stones heavier than his pic. Lesson learned the hard way.
It’s not pic collecting if your only looking to check what they look like now. No need for nudes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right
This attitude is enabling people to be dishonest.....
If everyone is nice to the deceiver and is just happy the person showed up... this will encourage the deceiver to carry on with their actions.....
I was very nice to my date for the simple fact that I had no other options on a Monday night...
If it was the weekend, I would have left at Hello...
I hate taking photos...it’s a ballache and I’m a perfectionist with OCD tendencies. That profile is my shop window - I’m going to put out my nicest stuff, natch.
So I use my words on my profile to make it clear that I have a wobbly-bobbly body. If someone can’t be bothered to take a chance based on what they see in my profile text and pictures, then not probably not the kind of person I want to have fun with. "
^^^^^ this  |
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"I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! damn I hate that word shallow and especially would if I was a sub because I like to go deep "
We know a guy on here who has somehow managed to remain 42 for the past 3 years.
He also has a couples profile but we are guessing that the fems pics are just from another site as guess what, they have no veris. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! damn I hate that word shallow and especially would if I was a sub because I like to go deep
We know a guy on here who has somehow managed to remain 42 for the past 3 years.
He also has a couples profile but we are guessing that the fems pics are just from another site as guess what, they have no veris. "
damn hey I don't collect or show veris am I bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP you never said if she was off here or was it off the dating site you use?
Either way it seems you did everything you could to safeguard yourself apart from asking for lots more body pics and making sure they were recently taken |
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"I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! damn I hate that word shallow and especially would if I was a sub because I like to go deep
We know a guy on here who has somehow managed to remain 42 for the past 3 years.
He also has a couples profile but we are guessing that the fems pics are just from another site as guess what, they have no veris. damn hey I don't collect or show veris am I bad "
You don't have any veris to show so hardly a choice.
OP yes people are deceptive with pics. Thats why a social is best. |
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"I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! damn I hate that word shallow and especially would if I was a sub because I like to go deep
We know a guy on here who has somehow managed to remain 42 for the past 3 years.
He also has a couples profile but we are guessing that the fems pics are just from another site as guess what, they have no veris. damn hey I don't collect or show veris am I bad "
Well having some is a start at least.
We see them as just a verification that you are the person/ people that you make out to be on here.
Still can’t work out how his age never changes though (its not you btw) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met a man once who had clearly put on a lot of weight since his very old pictures were taken
He had come straight from work and stank too
What I didn’t understand was he’d been verified quite recently too ..
Now I’m large - so bodies are no relevance to me , but what I did take task with was when he called me shallow for not liking him
He’s actually still on here - same pictures too !! damn I hate that word shallow and especially would if I was a sub because I like to go deep
We know a guy on here who has somehow managed to remain 42 for the past 3 years.
He also has a couples profile but we are guessing that the fems pics are just from another site as guess what, they have no veris. damn hey I don't collect or show veris am I bad
You don't have any veris to show so hardly a choice.
OP yes people are deceptive with pics. Thats why a social is best. "
true but does it mean I havnt met or do meet........ Nooooo it doesn't.......... Does it mean I havnt been in this lifestyle a while.......... Nooooooooo it doesn't, does it mean I don't show veris or ask for them............ Yes it does. Each to their own I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m honest about my age but.....
I suck my tummy in for pics to the point of almost blacking out "
I lie about my age but let my gut hang out. Which truth would people prefer I wonder?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have been chatting to females in clubs and when we went on their profile later it was astounding how different they were by lying down at a complimentary angle. It's like night and day
You could ask for a pic that was taken on their last night out so it's full length so you don't sound pervy. You won't necessarily see the lumps n bumps but you'll know if she's a 12 or a 24 x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m honest about my age but.....
I suck my tummy in for pics to the point of almost blacking out
I lie about my age but let my gut hang out. Which truth would people prefer I wonder?? "
I don't lie about my age and all my pics are recent  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m honest about my age but.....
I suck my tummy in for pics to the point of almost blacking out
I lie about my age but let my gut hang out. Which truth would people prefer I wonder??
I don't lie about my age and all my pics are recent "
Can I see pics within last 5 minutes please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m honest about my age but.....
I suck my tummy in for pics to the point of almost blacking out
I lie about my age but let my gut hang out. Which truth would people prefer I wonder??
I don't lie about my age and all my pics are recent Can I see pics within last 5 minutes please? "
naff off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m honest about my age but.....
I suck my tummy in for pics to the point of almost blacking out
I lie about my age but let my gut hang out. Which truth would people prefer I wonder??
I don't lie about my age and all my pics are recent Can I see pics within last 5 minutes please? naff off "
ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I won't post pictures that I think are unflattering but I am honest about being fuller figured currently.
OP- this is why socials exist- maybe that would be a good route for you since physical attraction seems to be your priority? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will never understand the need to lie about age and size. I am very honest about both. I do chat for ages before I meet anyone. Often we FaceTime so we can see we are both who we say we are but also to feel more comfortable. They will have usually seen me with no make up as I seem to get requests for pics when I first wake up and we may be texting. Well...if they still want to talk to me after that then they have been warned. Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men lying about their age on here is rife. And unfortunately once someone gets past their late 40’s i find it hard to tell if they are 50 or 60. Same on dating sites (i’m sure women lie too, but my experiences are with men) and after recent experience, i’m now going to assume most men on here are 10 years older than their profile age.
I’m quite clear in my profile about my height and size. My age is also correct.
I think socials or first dates (if dating) are just the chance to give each other the once over, nothing more. |
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By *ools47Woman
over a year ago
Failsworth |
"I always do a social first. Even if they do look like their pics we may not get on in person.
Doesn't matter if we chatted for weeks and swapped 100 pics. If there's no attraction when we meet that's the end of it. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People take photos to entice and attract. When you see a picture of a Big Mac, it never looks that way once it’s ordered. Just look at it that way. It’s not dishonesty, it’s to help entice people in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person..."
Maybe YOU didn't look as amazing in person. Looks are not everything. Personality over looks anytime. Too many people on here think they are Gods gift! Rant over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I get chatting to someone on here and they mention my pics I openly tell them that all my pics are taken at the right angle. I’m going to be honest I think if I put pics up of my horrible fat stomach men would not contact me. All my pics are of me and mostly I do have a two face pics in public. I won’t put certain pics on my profile as I’m not going to open myself up to get abused by some of the parasites on this site. But I am honest and tell guys I probably look larger in the flesh. This is why I always go with a social meet first so the guy gets to see how big, unattractive etc I am.
I don’t see it as deceiving anyone because I do tell people from the start what my pics are about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Meeting people online has become a mine field lately... So I’m searching for tips from the Fab community on how to avoid deception in the future....
When meeting someone new I usually use a bell curve... if their age is 35 and they are really 40 .... cool .....5 years older is the max... if they are any Older I will feel they were dishonest.....
Dress size I will always expect 2 sizes more as the range... so if a woman says she is a size 10 but shows up being a 14 ... cool
Now I had a social meet tonight with the potential for more. I did all the pre meet checks , spoke on the phone , and had a FaceTime chat...
But I didn’t ask for nude pics or ask her to show me her body on cam... I didn’t want to seem like a pervert.... She had lots of great pics on her profile.....
So I showed up at the bar and boom.... She looks much heavier and Older in person.... She was dressed nice and smelled great... but there was no attraction from my end... So we just had 2 drinks and shared some funny stories....
When I got home ... I checked her profile and noticed almost all her pics were laying down or from crazy angles.....
Can people give me some tips or share some experiences to help me in the future?
For the record.... she didn’t Catfish me. It was her , she just didn’t look as amazing in person...
Maybe YOU didn't look as amazing in person. Looks are not everything. Personality over looks anytime. Too many people on here think they are Gods gift! Rant over"
yes this beauty is in the eyes of the beholders |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have to say most people I’ve met off fabs (compared to another site) have been pretty much like their photos.
I tend to add a few years onto their age and a few pounds onto their waistlines |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Maybe YOU didn't look as amazing in person. Looks are not everything. Personality over looks anytime. Too many people on here think they are Gods gift! Rant over"
Why do you feel the need to rant? Just because some people care that the people they meet look like the person they were led to believe, and need to be physically attracted to someone before they have sex with them? Nobody said they were God's gift did they? |
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It's one of the reasons we always meet socially first. There is no way to avoid the economical truth tellers in my opinion. A quick social meet, somewhere convenient to both tells you what if anything they've spared you the knowledge of.
We've had our share of 60 year olds who accidentally typed 45 but never anyone heavier than they claim to be.
One thing it is often possible to infer from photos in our opinion is reluctance on the part of one partner in a couple.
So our suggestion is view a social as part of your due diligence and not as a waste of your time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have to say most people I’ve met off fabs (compared to another site) have been pretty much like their photos.
I tend to add a few years onto their age and a few pounds onto their waistlines "
a sensible approach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face."
awwww you would never see a disappointed look on my face
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face."
I get that also. I’m friends with a few on here and one thought I was lying about my age. I proved it with my passport. Why would I say I was older? |
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"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face.
I get that also. I’m friends with a few on here and one thought I was lying about my age. I proved it with my passport. Why would I say I was older? "
It's guys transparently trying to flatter you in order to get inside your knickers.
Having said that, you look around thirty to me.
Ps. Can I have a shag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face.
I get that also. I’m friends with a few on here and one thought I was lying about my age. I proved it with my passport. Why would I say I was older?
It's guys transparently trying to flatter you in order to get inside your knickers.
Having said that, you look around thirty to me.
Ps. Can I have a shag? "
It was a female friend actually and not that kind of friend. |
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Everyone takes 10 pics and uses the most flattering one. If it's that important to you, and the kind of women you are choosing are that dishonest, you need to do a social first to check.
I will rarely meet without a social now after being deceived once too often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face."
A lot of men I meet tell me I don't look 52. I think it's because they have a skewed impression of what 52 looks like. |
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"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London."
 . I think you should. In a way that kind of honesty is refreshing, there's so many flaming false compliments flying around on here. I cringe at some of it. |
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"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face.
A lot of men I meet tell me I don't look 52. I think it's because they have a skewed impression of what 52 looks like."
Yep. A lot of people tell me I don't look 61. I do, because I am, this is what 61 looks like if you're me. I think perceptions of how people look at a certain age are about 30 years out of date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London."
They actually said that?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London.
. I think you should. In a way that kind of honesty is refreshing, there's so many flaming false compliments flying around on here. I cringe at some of it."
I asked if he liked big women and he said 16/18 was about his limit; so I told him I'm 18/20. I don't blame anyone for wanting to check me out before meeting, and it's preferable than having them baulk when they see me.
I like a day in London too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London.
They actually said that? "
Not his words. He said 16/18 was about his limit and I'm 18/20. I don't even think most men know what a dress size looks like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London.
They actually said that?
Not his words. He said 16/18 was about his limit and I'm 18/20. I don't even think most men know what a dress size looks like."
Most men get a lot of things wrong including dress sizes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London.
They actually said that?
Not his words. He said 16/18 was about his limit and I'm 18/20. I don't even think most men know what a dress size looks like."
Like I said to you at the social, you think you’re bigger than you actually are. You’re beautiful inside and out. Not many are both. |
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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago
bristol |
whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow. |
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"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow. "
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together."
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks. |
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"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks. "
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive."
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there. |
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"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive.
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there. "
Yes, I understand that but I'm never going to fuck Quasimodo because he's a nice guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive.
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there.
Yes, I understand that but I'm never going to fuck Quasimodo because he's a nice guy. "
No but often I can find a guy I would never have noticed in a bar really attractive after getting to know him better. I find people attractive for many random reasons. There are the obvious ones and ones my friends don’t get. I like alternative guys mainly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You've sort of answered your own question really. Just keep having socials with people first. If you've done all you think you can beforehand without looking a creep, then thats about the only way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive.
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there.
Yes, I understand that but I'm never going to fuck Quasimodo because he's a nice guy.
No but often I can find a guy I would never have noticed in a bar really attractive after getting to know him better. I find people attractive for many random reasons. There are the obvious ones and ones my friends don’t get. I like alternative guys mainly "
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I think some people have misconstrued shallowness with honesty...
If you go to a restaurant and order Salmon and the waitress brings You Haddock....
Would you be happy?
I’m not looking for a beauty queen or model...
Just the person I saw online.....
Now everyone has advised me to do a social first.....
This was a social with the intention to play after a few drinks.....
I usually meet single females this way for safety reasons.....
I think moving forward.... I will just ask a few questions in conversation before meeting...
Such as.....
What part of your body do you get the most compliments on?
What part of your body do you hate the most ?
I think the answers to these questions, will help me suss out the deceivers.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My answer to both would be boobs...what does that mean? "
I don’t know... I would just take a chance with you because you could give me a buddy pass....
But honestly meeting people online has been getting tougher...
I’m becoming a cynic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If all pics are close-up, laying down or crazy angles she's probably two stone heavier than she looks.
I've been asked for a social to see if I'm not too fat for someone. I'm considering going, for the day out in London.
They actually said that?
Not his words. He said 16/18 was about his limit and I'm 18/20. I don't even think most men know what a dress size looks like.
Most men get a lot of things wrong including dress sizes "
I don't I'm pretty good in the flesh |
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"My answer to both would be boobs...what does that mean?
I don’t know... I would just take a chance with you because you could give me a buddy pass....
But honestly meeting people online has been getting tougher...
I’m becoming a cynic "
Try getting accurate cock sizes!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think moving forward.... I will just ask a few questions in conversation before meeting...
Such as.....
What part of your body do you get the most compliments on?
What part of your body do you hate the most ?
I think the answers to these questions, will help me suss out the deceivers...."
I’m not sure it will though, for example:
What part of your body do you get the most compliments on?
-On here, boobs
-in real life, eyes / hair
What part of your body do you hate the most ?
- tummy.
Now looking at my pics, my answers haven’t really helped you suss me out anymore have they?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My answer to both would be boobs...what does that mean?
I don’t know... I would just take a chance with you because you could give me a buddy pass....
But honestly meeting people online has been getting tougher...
I’m becoming a cynic "
Buddy pass is so American |
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"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive.
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there.
Yes, I understand that but I'm never going to fuck Quasimodo because he's a nice guy.
No but often I can find a guy I would never have noticed in a bar really attractive after getting to know him better. I find people attractive for many random reasons. There are the obvious ones and ones my friends don’t get. I like alternative guys mainly "
Oh I find a whole range of men physically attractive and I need to like them a bit before we get down to business but I'm too old and too tired to spend ages finding out if we'd connect on a deep level.
The longer we're on fab the more I realise just how shallow I really am when it comes to casual sex . |
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"I think some people have misconstrued shallowness with honesty...
If you go to a restaurant and order Salmon and the waitress brings You Haddock....
Would you be happy?
I’m not looking for a beauty queen or model...
Just the person I saw online.....
Now everyone has advised me to do a social first.....
This was a social with the intention to play after a few drinks.....
I usually meet single females this way for safety reasons.....
I think moving forward.... I will just ask a few questions in conversation before meeting...
Such as.....
What part of your body do you get the most compliments on?
What part of your body do you hate the most ?
I think the answers to these questions, will help me suss out the deceivers...."
I don't think you'd be any further forward to be honest. You're not going to know until you see them in person if they've been as truthful as you need them to be. You might have to adjust your expectations a bit where socials are concerned and see it as looking at the menu to see if salmon is actually on it or that you aren't in a foreign restaurant and aren't speaking the same language as the chef. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is why I post as many pictures as possible, so people can see me at all different angles in several photos that are recently taken.
I’ve only ever met a couple of men who didn’t look like their photos and were much older, and it annoyed me, I made it clear to them they had deceived me and hoped that would make them change what they are doing.
There is not really any foolproof way to ensure you don’t get deceived other than not meeting anyone or verifying each other via webcam. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive.
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there.
Yes, I understand that but I'm never going to fuck Quasimodo because he's a nice guy.
No but often I can find a guy I would never have noticed in a bar really attractive after getting to know him better. I find people attractive for many random reasons. There are the obvious ones and ones my friends don’t get. I like alternative guys mainly
Oh I find a whole range of men physically attractive and I need to like them a bit before we get down to business but I'm too old and too tired to spend ages finding out if we'd connect on a deep level.
The longer we're on fab the more I realise just how shallow I really am when it comes to casual sex ."
I wish I could be like that and maybe I will when I find my swinging partner. I’m probably like I am because I am single and want to meet someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My answer to both would be boobs...what does that mean?
I don’t know... I would just take a chance with you because you could give me a buddy pass....
But honestly meeting people online has been getting tougher...
I’m becoming a cynic "
I’ve been doing it since the aol chat room days in 2002. I know no different but 10 years away from the game when I married a guy from online took me by surprise 3 years ago when I became single. Soooo much harder now. We had to scan pics onto your computer and email them back then. Ha. London is a brutal place for online stuff x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I don't think there is any 100% foolproof way to get round the problem OP - people will always post their most flattering pics, will always try and present the best picture of themselves - not through outright lying, but purely through wanting to look their best and most appealing - there are of course tell-tale signs such as pics of just one body part or from one specific angle.
While you don't really get the whole picture with me - there are enough pics from different angles and perspectives that you can have a fair idea of what my body shape is going to be like - although I hold my hand up to not being monochrome in real life
The only thing I do is get to know people first and build a connection and chemistry to the point there's a level of honesty in place, and I've not been disappointed yet.
What I struggle to understand, and you really can't countenance against are people who "borrow" pics to post - I became aware of one yesterday, that has made appearances on page 1 of Hot Pics, whose pics all appear to be borrowed from another site and from someone many miles geographically removed from where they say they are. Yes it happens on the internet, but the weird thing is the profile had numerous veris so either the people that met them just accepted it was a different person, or accepted that perhaps they had put weight on since the pics (or of course the veris were all cleverly faked) |
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"whats really funny is a man complaining about flattering angles and filters when most men lie about their cock size lol
There is more to things than physical, captivate the mind and the body will follow.
To be honest a person can captivate my mind all they like but unless I find them attractive physically we're never going to get naked together.
A person can’t captivate my mind unless attraction is there. That comes in all forms and not just looks.
Do you mean captivate sexually? I think that might be where I'm misunderstanding.
I can find someone very attractive intellectually in that they're of similar or more intelligence than me or they have original wit. However it doesn't follow that I'll find them attractive sexually.
When it comes to casual sex I'm only ever going to get sexual with men I find physically attractive.
I was at a club with a partner and saw a woman on the bed next to us with 4 guys. One guy was very good looking, I thought I wanted him. We called him over and moments later he was inside me. I should have been ecstatic but I ended up pushing him off less than a minute later. It was like being fucked by a robot. I felt zero attraction. I need to have built up some connection and looks alone is not enough for me. The next time we went, we chatted to an attractive couple for ages and ended up swapping. The guy had captivated me with his wit and flirting. That was when I knew attraction was there.
Yes, I understand that but I'm never going to fuck Quasimodo because he's a nice guy.
No but often I can find a guy I would never have noticed in a bar really attractive after getting to know him better. I find people attractive for many random reasons. There are the obvious ones and ones my friends don’t get. I like alternative guys mainly
Oh I find a whole range of men physically attractive and I need to like them a bit before we get down to business but I'm too old and too tired to spend ages finding out if we'd connect on a deep level.
The longer we're on fab the more I realise just how shallow I really am when it comes to casual sex .
I wish I could be like that and maybe I will when I find my swinging partner. I’m probably like I am because I am single and want to meet someone. "
I do think that some (not all) singles want a lot more from their meets than we do. Nobody's wrong but I do sometimes feel that people like me are seen as somehow less than others by the language used e.g. cold, fuck and go, clinical etc |
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"I had no idea I should be fibbing about my age and dress size !!
We're all at it dahling! Telling the truth is sooo last season 
It depends which shop you're quoting anyway!"
I always give the Marks and Spencer's size  |
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"I had no idea I should be fibbing about my age and dress size !!
We're all at it dahling! Telling the truth is sooo last season
It depends which shop you're quoting anyway!
I always give the Marks and Spencer's size "
They are the comfiest pants  |
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"I had no idea I should be fibbing about my age and dress size !!
We're all at it dahling! Telling the truth is sooo last season
It depends which shop you're quoting anyway!
I always give the Marks and Spencer's size
They are the comfiest pants "
This is true although I took a nearly new pair of M and S ones off and threw them away this morning they were so damn uncomfortable. Can't beat their bras though. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Some pics of folk are 7 years out of date.
Mine are all of me.
Mine are recent
They are of me.
I've chatted
Phone chatted
And not done face chatting
I don't sit on a mobile app
I don't have a connection I don't meet loads who have been here years have pics from 2014 noticed some on one sexy woman's pic gallery yesterday , most people take pics that are flattering, most women traditionally fib about their age and imagine most men do, I try to know that and judge on personality at a meet, at least they turned up that's a plus right "
But did she also have up to date pictures?
Mine go back that length of time but they are also up to date as well  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
I do think that some (not all) singles want a lot more from their meets than we do. Nobody's wrong but I do sometimes feel that people like me are seen as somehow less than others by the language used e.g. cold, fuck and go, clinical etc "
I regularly use all of those words to describe what doesn't work for me personally - but I certainly don't think any less of people that don't look for a connection or, to reference another thread, intimacy from their meets - it's just different perspectives of what all *this* means to us as individuals nothing more or less |
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"I had no idea I should be fibbing about my age and dress size !!
We're all at it dahling! Telling the truth is sooo last season
It depends which shop you're quoting anyway!
I always give the Marks and Spencer's size "
Exactly!! Mind you according to Sainsbury's sports clothing I'm tiny! |
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I don’t like to second guess people, but I do like to mesaage then chat quite a bit. I trust my judgment and my gut instincts to decide if they are real and really wanting to meet.
So far so good, and long may that last.
Here’s to real fun friendly naughty Fabbers! |
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"
I do think that some (not all) singles want a lot more from their meets than we do. Nobody's wrong but I do sometimes feel that people like me are seen as somehow less than others by the language used e.g. cold, fuck and go, clinical etc
I regularly use all of those words to describe what doesn't work for me personally - but I certainly don't think any less of people that don't look for a connection or, to reference another thread, intimacy from their meets - it's just different perspectives of what all *this* means to us as individuals nothing more or less "
Yes, I understand different things work for different people and that its all about perspective. I'm not in the least bit concerned by it. I just find the language rather emotive. I refrain from using words like "needy" for that reason and because I think it would imply a judgment on others motives that I wasn't actually making. |
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OP. I’d say that’s one to put down to experience. As you say, they’ve not deceived you and they’re not fake.
It’s sound as though you did everything reasonably possible before meeting. It’s always been my opinion that a chat or FaceTime is the most important predictor of being genuine.
Sorry it didn’t work out for both of you. I think meets should always be no obligation/no expectation anyway. At least it sounds like you had a good chat.
Pictures wise, everyone uploads the photos they think portray them at their best (although it’s often said I’m miles better looking in the flesh!!). I don’t think you can blame anyone for that. Admittedly some of the girls on here make an art form of disguising their true body habitus with angles and filters but it is what it is. The presence or absence of a sensible full length (clothed) picture or the enthusiasm/reluctance to send one normally tells all.
I’m sure it won’t put you off the rest of your search or seriously hamper your enjoyment of the rest of the site.. |
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"i am 57 and i don't lie about my age, yet guys are always claiming i must be younger. why would i lie and claim i am older? what would be my motive? then i have to send them a close-up pic with wrinkles to prove my age. i think they are just telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to look my age so when i finally meet someone on here, i don't have to be humiliated by the look of disappointment on their face.
I get that also. I’m friends with a few on here and one thought I was lying about my age. I proved it with my passport. Why would I say I was older? "
Well, I am a bit younger than my profile says. Why to pretend I am older? When I joined Fab, years ago, I preferred to be contacted by older, more mature men and, naive me, I thought this would help. In any case I haven't bothered to change it - not even sure if it is possible.
Regarding pics, we all publish photographs that are flattering, me included, but I make quite clear that I am a large woman. It is very easy to take flattering pics of yourself if you change the angle, light direction, etc.
Like many people have said, a social is great to, not only see if the person is who they say they are but also to see if you still feel attracted to them in person (it is not always the case).
Finally, not all the verifications that a person receives are published. Maybe some commenting on her looks, etc. had been removed (yes, it is possible to choose what veris you want others to see). |
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