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Letters to Santa.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Dear Santa...

i was a very very good girl...at least thats what all the men tell me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

hahahaha

He's only jelous cause he only comes once a year

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Mr Santa,

I have not believed that you have exsisted since I was about 6... So if I am bad then I am bad..... I just won't tell my mum and dad who buys me my presents...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don't care what you say your name is ........ get that fucking sled off my roof!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

hahahaha

He's only jelous cause he only comes once a year

..... and it's down a chimney!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

hahahaha

He's only jelous cause he only comes once a year

..... and it's down a chimney!

I wonder if he has amazing stamina or just past it

Either way, he wouldn't make a very good swinger

Tony

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

hahahaha

He's only jelous cause he only comes once a year

..... and it's down a chimney!

and when he comes he empties his sack all over your living room

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dear Santa

I understand iv made it on your good girls list

Now can I have a copy of the naughty boys list

;)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

hahahaha

He's only jelous cause he only comes once a year

..... and it's down a chimney!

and when he comes he empties his sack all over your living room

And I always thought it was Shaz that covered the tree with snow spray on Christmas morning

Tony

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If Santa replied to his letters.

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben good boy all yeer.

YeR FReND,BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!

Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

Dear Santa,

I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!

Love, Joey

Dear Joey,

Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.

Santa

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Santa

Dear Santa,

I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do.

Love, Michelle

Dear Michelle,

It blows my fucking mind. Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed like Chutes and Ladders.

-Santa

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joe's, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who the hell names their kid "Francis" anyways?

Santa

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.

Santa

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses' asses, and losing all my cash at the craps table.Hey, YOU wanted to know!

Santa

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I'm skipping yourhouse...

Santa

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiny begging crap may work with your folks, but that shit doesn't fly up here. You're getting a sweater....again.

Santa

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Mark,

Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

SweetDreams!

Santa

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple over a year ago

Lisburn

brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

You cutey. I love that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

He dont exist,

well i never get nowt anyways

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

He dont exist,

well i never get nowt anyways

He does , Jet said he was in the queue with him Monday night and he said to tell me last chance to say what perfume I liked

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

He dont exist,

well i never get nowt anyways

He does , Jet said he was in the queue with him Monday night and he said to tell me last chance to say what perfume I liked

Damn sneaky santa eh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

He dont exist,

well i never get nowt anyways

He does , Jet said he was in the queue with him Monday night and he said to tell me last chance to say what perfume I liked

Damn sneaky santa eh?

Very sneaky but I like

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

He dont exist,

well i never get nowt anyways

He does , Jet said he was in the queue with him Monday night and he said to tell me last chance to say what perfume I liked

Damn sneaky santa eh?

Very sneaky but I like

Tell Jet to tell him that I told you Channel No5 is still a favourite of mine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dear Santa

This year I've been a very good girl... so please can I have the names of all the naughty boys on your list

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

He dont exist,

well i never get nowt anyways

He does , Jet said he was in the queue with him Monday night and he said to tell me last chance to say what perfume I liked

Damn sneaky santa eh?

Very sneaky but I like

Tell Jet to tell him that I told you Channel No5 is still a favourite of mine.

Will do

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ....... and it was worth it.

You fat, judgmental bastard.

hahahaha

He's only jelous cause he only comes once a year

..... and it's down a chimney!

and when he comes he empties his sack all over your living room

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dear Satan,

I was very good....well thats what I was told..... more than once....lots and lots.....want to get in the sack with me and I will give You a present that will make you smile all year and your Christmas baubles all red?

I have spelled it right haven't I?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear Satan,

I have spelled it right haven't I?

My friend, who is dyslexic did actually write from Satan on a present to my son.

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