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In a pit....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That feeling when its always dark, drowning in youre problems/worries.. the more you fight the more you seem to sink further, suffocating like there is someone stood on youre chest.
A lights gone out behind my eyes... never felt so god damn alone. Lost the only family i had in my mum recently and find myself becoming increasingly bitter.  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Bless ya, there's nothing wrong with feeling sad after a bereavement. Do you have anyone to talk to? Friends, family, colleagues? Samaritans offer an ear and are incredible with grief. It's such a difficult time.
Failing that, our inbox is always open if you just need to sound off to a random listener.
Don't let the loneliness overcome you, you are never truly alone xx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Have you contacted anyone? Have a look at CALM - their webchat is open every evening.
Sometimes life becomes overwhelming and sad. It takes strength to admit that and to seek support. Sometimes this forum is able to provide some of that support.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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She was only true family i had, we were best mates, dealing with it all on my own, organisation, bills, house etc, strongest person i knew, died suddenly 2 days after gardening with her... to be told ots natural causes has wrecked my head, on the verge of losing my job,home plus the debt ive accrued ... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"She was only true family i had, we were best mates, dealing with it all on my own, organisation, bills, house etc, strongest person i knew, died suddenly 2 days after gardening with her... to be told ots natural causes has wrecked my head, on the verge of losing my job,home plus the debt ive accrued ..."
Do you have a bereavement counsellor?
Are you able to speak to your employer?
It's sad to lose a loved one, especially a much-loved parent, but natural causes is a good way to go. Honour the life she gave to you by living it as well as you can.
Please seek some counselling for this.
Look up Elizabeth Kubler Ross and the stages of grief.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ive took a sick note for next couple week as ive got mountains to go through, my employer told me if i dont return after my sick note il lose my job, i dont even have a doctor nvm anything else, typical man i guess, i feel odd for posting on here... but seems easier to get it off my chest if it makes any sense? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mother recently went through something similar. As much as I tried to help her she was stuck to loneliness and our loss.
Sometimes that is all just part of dealing with loss.. what you’ve got to understand is that your actions still matter! Things will only become darker and more difficult if you accrue debt and end up losing your job. These guys are right though, there are so many outlets to communicate with to help you. And as much as every man hates to admit it (including myself), talking helps.
I’m really sorry for your loss. |
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You've taken that first step in sharing - which from my experience is the most difficult one. I talked about anxiety and depression and emotion poured straight out from me.
There is nothing wrong with any of those feelings, all connected with bereavement.
Reaching out and sending you good thoughts mate. Some good bits of advice already here.  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"She was only true family i had, we were best mates, dealing with it all on my own, organisation, bills, house etc, strongest person i knew, died suddenly 2 days after gardening with her... to be told ots natural causes has wrecked my head, on the verge of losing my job,home plus the debt ive accrued ..."
Talk to your GP... Firstly they can sign y9u off work and hold off any dismissal, giving you time to collect your thoughts. Your GP can also arrange a bereavement councillor. Next get along to your local CAB, ask for help with organising your bills and debts.
It's going to mean you have to be proactive but in doing so you will find yourself focusing on the bigger picture and hopefully seeing things clearer.
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"She was only true family i had, we were best mates, dealing with it all on my own, organisation, bills, house etc, strongest person i knew, died suddenly 2 days after gardening with her... to be told ots natural causes has wrecked my head, on the verge of losing my job,home plus the debt ive accrued ..."
Glad that you've recognised it's giving you a big problem and asked for some advice.
Grief comes to all of us in life and even with professional help in the end you have to come to terms with it personally.
Seek that professional help if you need it, but at the same time seek help to deal with the other problems that your grief is allowing to pile up on you.
Speak to citizen's advice, the samaritans etc.
First and foremost secure your home.
Talk to the lender/landlord and explain the cause of the problems.
Secure your job, explain to your boss what's happening.
Then deal with the debts you've run up. Ignoring them will just compound matters as there's a whole industry that lives of the back of bad debt.
You may well find that taking positive steps to slay those dragons will keep you busy enough to reduce the time you spend drowning in grief.
Think of your mum: "Would she want you to work your way out of this or go under?" |
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So sorry to hear you are going through this.
The Samaritans are good when you need to offload or vent. Open 24/7.
CAB will be able to advise or signpist you re debt etc.
Are you in a union? They usually give free legal advice.
CRUISE do bereavement counselling.
MIND have good accessible mental health information, their website is very user friendly.
Hug of support for you. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Thanks guys, feel a bit silly for posting on here but been stewing for days now... just pent up, angry, upset, frustrated etc."
I hope it has helped to post here. Sometimes it does. Don't feel silly about it.
Please do look at CALM - they are trained to listen and help.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everybody, means alot, ive had it rough my upbringing only got reconnected when i was 18, now im back on my own, id say im intelligent enough not to do anything emotional, but i am known to wear my heart on my sleeve, everything seemed to be so cut and dry... and now its like a ball of wires i cant seem to untangle, i know im not only person to deal with this, but its only time ive experienced any form of loss. |
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"She was only true family i had, we were best mates, dealing with it all on my own, organisation, bills, house etc, strongest person i knew, died suddenly 2 days after gardening with her... to be told ots natural causes has wrecked my head, on the verge of losing my job,home plus the debt ive accrued ...
Talk to your GP... Firstly they can sign y9u off work and hold off any dismissal, giving you time to collect your thoughts. Your GP can also arrange a bereavement councillor. Next get along to your local CAB, ask for help with organising your bills and debts.
It's going to mean you have to be proactive but in doing so you will find yourself focusing on the bigger picture and hopefully seeing things clearer.
"
excellent advice. My heart breaks for you op. I know your mum was very young |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She was only true family i had, we were best mates, dealing with it all on my own, organisation, bills, house etc, strongest person i knew, died suddenly 2 days after gardening with her... to be told ots natural causes has wrecked my head, on the verge of losing my job,home plus the debt ive accrued ...
Talk to your GP... Firstly they can sign y9u off work and hold off any dismissal, giving you time to collect your thoughts. Your GP can also arrange a bereavement councillor. Next get along to your local CAB, ask for help with organising your bills and debts.
It's going to mean you have to be proactive but in doing so you will find yourself focusing on the bigger picture and hopefully seeing things clearer.
excellent advice. My heart breaks for you op. I know your mum was very young "
She was 51, no illnesses or ailments, didnt smoke, had a guiness with me every now and then, taught me everything... feels fucking cruel.. like ive not experienced enough in my life, but she always said theres somebody worse off than youre self... but im struggling with that atm! |
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"Thanks everybody, means alot, ive had it rough my upbringing only got reconnected when i was 18, now im back on my own, id say im intelligent enough not to do anything emotional, but i am known to wear my heart on my sleeve, everything seemed to be so cut and dry... and now its like a ball of wires i cant seem to untangle, i know im not only person to deal with this, but its only time ive experienced any form of loss."
And this last bit is the hardest, as well as feeling the loss of control with all those other things you mentioned.
You will turn it round, speak to everyone you need to and get everything sorted.
Firstly look after you, have those conversations and take it from there. |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
Went through a similar thing myself... let it all get to me. Couldn't be bothered to eat. Everything felt like it was against me. First step is admitting that you need help. My ex kept telling me to go see the Dr. But being a typical man I shrugged it off so many times. In the end the only way I was sure I would go talk to someone was to get someone else to make me an appointment. There is always someone out there to help or this you in the right direction. Don't ever be affraid to ask. All the best fella. Hope you come through it all a stronger person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Went through a similar thing myself... let it all get to me. Couldn't be bothered to eat. Everything felt like it was against me. First step is admitting that you need help. My ex kept telling me to go see the Dr. But being a typical man I shrugged it off so many times. In the end the only way I was sure I would go talk to someone was to get someone else to make me an appointment. There is always someone out there to help or this you in the right direction. Don't ever be affraid to ask. All the best fella. Hope you come through it all a stronger person. "
Im not usually one to sit and wallow etc... been through some traumatic shit as a child etc but this has rocked me... lost a stone n half in a month, not slept in 5 days ... just driving me insane ... cant get no answers no where! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went through a similar thing myself... let it all get to me. Couldn't be bothered to eat. Everything felt like it was against me. First step is admitting that you need help. My ex kept telling me to go see the Dr. But being a typical man I shrugged it off so many times. In the end the only way I was sure I would go talk to someone was to get someone else to make me an appointment. There is always someone out there to help or this you in the right direction. Don't ever be affraid to ask. All the best fella. Hope you come through it all a stronger person.
Im not usually one to sit and wallow etc... been through some traumatic shit as a child etc but this has rocked me... lost a stone n half in a month, not slept in 5 days ... just driving me insane ... cant get no answers no where!"
You have some answers here that can help..
Maybe tomorrow come back to the thread and have a proper read through, try and break down what you need to do 1st and start there.
It’s a terrible period of time for you but you will get though this with a little bit of help. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks roxi! And everyone else! Yeah maybe so, ive always been independent, had no other choice, got bounced round the system until i was 18, got my shit back on track... and poof its been whipped away, can only assume i was some kind of bastard in my past life, selfish i know, but doesnt seem fair! |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Thanks roxi! And everyone else! Yeah maybe so, ive always been independent, had no other choice, got bounced round the system until i was 18, got my shit back on track... and poof its been whipped away, can only assume i was some kind of bastard in my past life, selfish i know, but doesnt seem fair!"
So sorry for your loss, it's hard losing a parent and your Mum was very young. Take one step at a time, make a list of things you need to do. Yes see your GP and get some debt advice from your bank or citizens advice bureau. There is a lot of help out there, grab it with both hands. Big Hugs to you...  xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks roxi! And everyone else! Yeah maybe so, ive always been independent, had no other choice, got bounced round the system until i was 18, got my shit back on track... and poof its been whipped away, can only assume i was some kind of bastard in my past life, selfish i know, but doesnt seem fair!
So sorry for your loss, it's hard losing a parent and your Mum was very young. Take one step at a time, make a list of things you need to do. Yes see your GP and get some debt advice from your bank or citizens advice bureau. There is a lot of help out there, grab it with both hands. Big Hugs to you... xx"
You think so? Im a single lad, living on my own, with id say an average income, state offered no help what so ever with costs etc, so from that ive developed the feeling gp, docs etc would do nothing but patronise me, i know its not the case, but sometimes you develop ideas etc that you cannot shake, got told today she passed with natural causes... i cant get my head round it, i know its not healthy but theres a part of me thats convincing my self it aint real  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Thanks roxi! And everyone else! Yeah maybe so, ive always been independent, had no other choice, got bounced round the system until i was 18, got my shit back on track... and poof its been whipped away, can only assume i was some kind of bastard in my past life, selfish i know, but doesnt seem fair!
So sorry for your loss, it's hard losing a parent and your Mum was very young. Take one step at a time, make a list of things you need to do. Yes see your GP and get some debt advice from your bank or citizens advice bureau. There is a lot of help out there, grab it with both hands. Big Hugs to you... xx
You think so? Im a single lad, living on my own, with id say an average income, state offered no help what so ever with costs etc, so from that ive developed the feeling gp, docs etc would do nothing but patronise me, i know its not the case, but sometimes you develop ideas etc that you cannot shake, got told today she passed with natural causes... i cant get my head round it, i know its not healthy but theres a part of me thats convincing my self it aint real "
Yes I know there is a lot of help out there, but you have to go and ask for it, it won't come knocking on your door. Bereavement counselling may help you. You need someone to talk to face to face, some great advice on here.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks roxi! And everyone else! Yeah maybe so, ive always been independent, had no other choice, got bounced round the system until i was 18, got my shit back on track... and poof its been whipped away, can only assume i was some kind of bastard in my past life, selfish i know, but doesnt seem fair!
So sorry for your loss, it's hard losing a parent and your Mum was very young. Take one step at a time, make a list of things you need to do. Yes see your GP and get some debt advice from your bank or citizens advice bureau. There is a lot of help out there, grab it with both hands. Big Hugs to you... xx
You think so? Im a single lad, living on my own, with id say an average income, state offered no help what so ever with costs etc, so from that ive developed the feeling gp, docs etc would do nothing but patronise me, i know its not the case, but sometimes you develop ideas etc that you cannot shake, got told today she passed with natural causes... i cant get my head round it, i know its not healthy but theres a part of me thats convincing my self it aint real
Yes I know there is a lot of help out there, but you have to go and ask for it, it won't come knocking on your door. Bereavement counselling may help you. You need someone to talk to face to face, some great advice on here. "
Oh supports been fantastic! Its touching, i wouldnt mind perhaps finding someone on here for a meet.. chat wise obviously, seems hell of a lot easier speaking to people unfamiliar to me etc |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Thanks roxi! And everyone else! Yeah maybe so, ive always been independent, had no other choice, got bounced round the system until i was 18, got my shit back on track... and poof its been whipped away, can only assume i was some kind of bastard in my past life, selfish i know, but doesnt seem fair!
So sorry for your loss, it's hard losing a parent and your Mum was very young. Take one step at a time, make a list of things you need to do. Yes see your GP and get some debt advice from your bank or citizens advice bureau. There is a lot of help out there, grab it with both hands. Big Hugs to you... xx
You think so? Im a single lad, living on my own, with id say an average income, state offered no help what so ever with costs etc, so from that ive developed the feeling gp, docs etc would do nothing but patronise me, i know its not the case, but sometimes you develop ideas etc that you cannot shake, got told today she passed with natural causes... i cant get my head round it, i know its not healthy but theres a part of me thats convincing my self it aint real
Yes I know there is a lot of help out there, but you have to go and ask for it, it won't come knocking on your door. Bereavement counselling may help you. You need someone to talk to face to face, some great advice on here.
Oh supports been fantastic! Its touching, i wouldnt mind perhaps finding someone on here for a meet.. chat wise obviously, seems hell of a lot easier speaking to people unfamiliar to me etc "
It's often easier to chat to strangers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It seems that way! Still feels odd online via keyboard etc though lol
It is a bit weird, isn't it? "
Slightly yeah! It is some what of a relief i must admit, still slightly odd! It has helped thankyou! I guess im more of a chew youre ear off in person kinda guy lol my mam was from n.ireland so i guess ive got that 10pmph chat lol |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"It seems that way! Still feels odd online via keyboard etc though lol
It is a bit weird, isn't it?
Slightly yeah! It is some what of a relief i must admit, still slightly odd! It has helped thankyou! I guess im more of a chew youre ear off in person kinda guy lol my mam was from n.ireland so i guess ive got that 10pmph chat lol "
Aah, you're welcome, I hope things pick up for you soon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It seems that way! Still feels odd online via keyboard etc though lol
It is a bit weird, isn't it?
Slightly yeah! It is some what of a relief i must admit, still slightly odd! It has helped thankyou! I guess im more of a chew youre ear off in person kinda guy lol my mam was from n.ireland so i guess ive got that 10pmph chat lol
Aah, you're welcome, I hope things pick up for you soon "
Thankyou very much!!!  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys "
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
"
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x"
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body "
Been for a walk down on river x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body
Been for a walk down on river x "
That is very good |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body
Been for a walk down on river x
That is very good "
Made me worse tbh, threw my self in, turns out a belly makes u float |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body
Been for a walk down on river x
That is very good
Made me worse tbh, threw my self in, turns out a belly makes u float"
I hope that was a joke...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body
Been for a walk down on river x
That is very good
Made me worse tbh, threw my self in, turns out a belly makes u float
I hope that was a joke... "
Wish it was. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body
Been for a walk down on river x
That is very good
Made me worse tbh, threw my self in, turns out a belly makes u float
I hope that was a joke...
Wish it was."
Please go and see someone.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Had a re read today, was a slight breakthrough, feeling a tad more optimistic, thanks guys
That's good. Use that to get some help so that you're prepared if you feel very low again.
Take it one step at a time.
Yeah gonna try too!! Just does my head in stuck on my own same 4 walls... mind goes to overdrive x
Don't stay stuck in your 4 walls. Get out for a walk, clears the head and is good for mind and body
Been for a walk down on river x
That is very good
Made me worse tbh, threw my self in, turns out a belly makes u float
I hope that was a joke...
Wish it was.
Please go and see someone.
"
I did made me worse! Got fucking patronised, treated like a child, felt i was judged on area and upbringing rather than my actual character x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Please go and see someone.
I did made me worse! Got fucking patronised, treated like a child, felt i was judged on area and upbringing rather than my actual character x"
Call CALM. They do a web-chat so it will be like communicating with people on here but with people who know how to help (and without naked pictures).
Do it if for no other reason so that you don't put someone else's life at risk trying to rescue you from the river.
I know you're angry and upset and would like someone to be able to make that go away but there is no quick fix. You may feel worse before you start to feel better and then you may feel worse again. It's a process. You're in self-destruct mode and folk on the Fab forum can only send you messages. You need to be cared for by someone more tangible than these pixels.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Please go and see someone.
I did made me worse! Got fucking patronised, treated like a child, felt i was judged on area and upbringing rather than my actual character x
Call CALM. They do a web-chat so it will be like communicating with people on here but with people who know how to help (and without naked pictures).
Do it if for no other reason so that you don't put someone else's life at risk trying to rescue you from the river.
I know you're angry and upset and would like someone to be able to make that go away but there is no quick fix. You may feel worse before you start to feel better and then you may feel worse again. It's a process. You're in self-destruct mode and folk on the Fab forum can only send you messages. You need to be cared for by someone more tangible than these pixels.
"
Thankyou....
Alot |
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