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The ALTERNATIVE Fab Commandments

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There is another thread started by The_Sexual_Savant outlining 10 rules to adhere to if you want to be successful on Fab.

Check it out here — https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/787461

It’s full of excellent advice and I recommend a read!

But it made me wonder what alternative (tongue in cheek) commandments there are on Fab? Just for fun, like.

For example:

1. Thou must always reply “fuck” when the person above is a female on a snog, marry, avoid thread ...

What others? Play nicely everyone!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt always rant in forums about unwanted messages from men even though you won't set message filters

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt spend two days debating in your head whether to message that more popular forumite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt take at least a week to 'sus out' a newbie before accepting they're part of the forum life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt always compare your manhood to a sky remote

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt defend popular female forumites in threads if you haven't had sex in a month

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/08/18 13:36:50]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou must include as many clichés as possible on your profile, "can breathe through my ears" and "I don't bite, unless you ask me to" are obligatory.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Thou shalt have a silhouette profile pic and no other pics and complain that you can’t get a meet and you’ve been here two whole weeks now*

*Toys will be provided but you need to have your own pram to throw them from.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

If you are on here as a couple in a last desperate attempt to save a failing relationship thou shalt assert how much in love thou art.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt never under any circumstances refer to the Clique

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thou shalt always compare your manhood to a sky remote"

You've forgotten the required photos of it from every single angle and above a toilet.

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By *lan157Man over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

You will have more success if you include fatuous references to how you can afford legal action against Sydney University or anybody else on your profile.

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By *VBethTV/TS over a year ago

Chester

"Thou shalt always compare your manhood to a sky remote

You've forgotten the required photos of it from every single angle and above a toilet."

Preferably a filthy toilet to really encourage people to want to meet you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thou shalt never under any circumstances refer to the Clique "

There is no clique shhh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou should never ask for advice on your profile unless you seek to be ridiculed

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thou shalt always castigate cheaters to the gates of Hell, unless of course they’re a bisexual ‘unicorn’ female cheater who has given you a wink that they might be up for a threesome with you ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thou shalt continually whinge about gay men Fabbing your pictures whilst simultaneously continuing to post a plethora of “gay-friendly” up close cock and arse pics on your profile ..

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By *izzy RascallMan over a year ago

Cardiff

Thou of the opposite sex targetted should reply second to a thread when the OP has aimed their question at a particular sex

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By *udistnorthantsMan over a year ago

Desborough

Thought shall direct those who claim to get no luck in getting any meets or indeed any replies to seek out Platinum membership

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Thou shalt always piss on the leg of the person whom you are shagging

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thou shalt always compare your manhood to a sky remote

You've forgotten the required photos of it from every single angle and above a toilet."

I did think that, with the toilet seat up to!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a couple, thou shalt always be "Hubby playing alone", never the wife.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If a couple, thou shalt always be "Hubby playing alone", never the wife."

or even “I’d love it if a woman came over to play with Hubby today while I’m at work”. Yeah, right. We believe you it was really Mrs writing that!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If thou art a couple, be sure to include no pictures of the male at all.

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By *bonynivoryCouple over a year ago

market harborough

"Thou shalt never under any circumstances refer to the Clique "

you're brave!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou shalt reprise an old thread out of the blue, for no reason

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Thou shalt gain absolute success as a single male by including the 'Here for likeminded people' or Will fill in later' as a deficit of any concrete information is always alluring and others see that you don't have to try too hard and must be a catch.

All photos should include a cluttered background, even some dirt, as it reinforces the.fact that you are a busy, interesting person. It also sparks the maternal urge in all women to want to care for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thou must always keep an eye out for the cock signal. Be on standby to lick a cock NOW regardless of the mudpack and leg waxing you had planned. An erect cock needs you!!!

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