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Changing a vanilla gf into kinky godess
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey guys, so I've recently got together with a friend of mine and I'd love some advice!
We've known each other for a few years and slept together occasionally but her sex life has been very minimal compared to mine. I really like this girl but it's just the sex isn't that great, Im finding myself doing all the work during sex, she doesnt enjoy me performing oral on her (it's not me I'm great at licking), she won't give me a blowjob unless it's my birthday and even then it's only for like a minute and she's terrified of the idea of me cumming on her as she thinks it's degrading not super fucking hot like me!
How do I get her to enjoy sex more and get her into naughtier stuff before I can even think of her swinging with me?
Any advice on this matter would be appreciated! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I think the more you like a person the more you want to have sex with them. I don't think you can really teach someone that or make them want it more. If it's not happened already I don't think it will x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't think there's a cat in hells chance that you'll get her to swing. Think you need an honest conversation with her about your current sex life as you don't sound happy. |
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OP you don't sound terribly compatible.
For some people sex is something to be endured not enjoyed. It doesn't sound like she would be willing to experiment much.
As much as you like this girl can you imagine having this kind of sex for years? |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Have a chat with her about wanting to experiment with anything at all that she would like to try sexually, give her a free pass to tell you anything, and she can have it, but let her steer the conversation, and be careful what you wish for, you might just get it, I ended up with a cock in my mouth because she wanted to watch that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wasn’t too dissimilar to your gf until very recently. I wanted to change my attitude to my sexuality and sex and found things like the blog ‘Girl on the Net’ very helpful. Maybe use things like that to start a discussion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And avoid ‘escalator sex’ - the steady and predictable escalation of sex acts culminating in YOUR climax. Mix it up LOTS. Do you ever go back to oral after penetration? Or once it’s in does it stay in until someone comes?
Make it clear that it’s a good time you are creating together, rather than a transaction where she gets some pleasure, then it’s ‘your turn’. I’m not suggesting that this is how you have sex, but it’s how I used to think about sex and it was incredibly unhelpful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys, so I've recently got together with a friend of mine and I'd love some advice!
We've known each other for a few years and slept together occasionally but her sex life has been very minimal compared to mine. I really like this girl but it's just the sex isn't that great, Im finding myself doing all the work during sex, she doesnt enjoy me performing oral on her (it's not me I'm great at licking), she won't give me a blowjob unless it's my birthday and even then it's only for like a minute and she's terrified of the idea of me cumming on her as she thinks it's degrading not super fucking hot like me!
How do I get her to enjoy sex more and get her into naughtier stuff before I can even think of her swinging with me?
Any advice on this matter would be appreciated! X"
always blame the other  |
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If someone has a low sex drive and you have a high sex drive it’s never going to work out. You’ll always be craving more and for what you don’t get. I doubt very much she would be interested in swinging. You could talk to her about it but doesn’t sound like she will be swayed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys, so I've recently got together with a friend of mine and I'd love some advice!
We've known each other for a few years and slept together occasionally but her sex life has been very minimal compared to mine. I really like this girl but it's just the sex isn't that great, Im finding myself doing all the work during sex, she doesnt enjoy me performing oral on her (it's not me I'm great at licking), she won't give me a blowjob unless it's my birthday and even then it's only for like a minute and she's terrified of the idea of me cumming on her as she thinks it's degrading not super fucking hot like me!
How do I get her to enjoy sex more and get her into naughtier stuff before I can even think of her swinging with me?
Any advice on this matter would be appreciated! X"
Unless you are a masochist then just move on and find a woman who enjoys kinky sex.  |
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If you really want this to be a long term relationship you are going to have to be prepared to compromise and play the long game.
Start by working hard on your emotional communication coupled with your sexual communication. Sexual adventure flourishes in a safe, secure environment where both people feel able to share fantasies. This won't happen over night.
Also have a bit of a think about your its not me it her attitude. You say you're great at oral sex so it's her fault if she doesn't like it. Three possibilities there, she genuinely doesn't like it (I don't) so you could be an Olympic champ at it and it would do nothing for her, she is embarrassed or ashamed or you aren't as good as you think you are.
Work on the communication aspect of your relationship. You could find that you have a partner who genuinely doesn't enjoy the same things you do or you have a great sexual relationship that has been shaped by what you *bit :* want.
Good luck whatever you decide. |
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"Hey guys, so I've recently got together with a friend of mine and I'd love some advice!
We've known each other for a few years and slept together occasionally but her sex life has been very minimal compared to mine. I really like this girl but it's just the sex isn't that great, Im finding myself doing all the work during sex, she doesnt enjoy me performing oral on her (it's not me I'm great at licking), she won't give me a blowjob unless it's my birthday and even then it's only for like a minute and she's terrified of the idea of me cumming on her as she thinks it's degrading not super fucking hot like me!
How do I get her to enjoy sex more and get her into naughtier stuff before I can even think of her swinging with me?
Any advice on this matter would be appreciated! X"
I don't think you like her.
So my advice is - Do her a favour and find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TALK
Communicate and as hard as it may be to discuss these things, you will never know what's going on until you do.
For some, it's a gradual process. Trust and confidence come into play plus there may be a bad experience you don't know about.
Be open and honest, explain you'll go slowly.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Any advice on this matter would be appreciated! X"
From what you say. you arent sexually matched and trying to change someone isn't good and could turn out into something horrific circumstances as she might find someone she is attracted to sexually and leave you
saying it out
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