If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What option applies to one OP won’t apply to another, or you if that’s the case...every relationship is different and only those people in it know what could possibly work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don't talk then how do you ever make a decision that works for you both.... assuming that's what you want to do.
Asking strangers who know nothing about your life relationship etc is not the best way of reaching any decision.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss..."
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well. 
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly...that. But from his side....is it fair to expect him to limit his sexuality? It works for you guys but not for everyone..."
I’m not limiting him whatsoever. A year ago we sat down and discussed this open marriage.
He loves having sex with me. He has no desire to have sex with anyone else. It turns him on when I fuck other men. I’ve told him if he wants to play, he can feel free. But he doesn’t want too. |
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Op is the mismatch in desire causing you problems? I know that lack of sex can cause some people to feel unloved and rejected as well as frustrated.
Have you talked it through or is it difficult, I know some people can get very defensive.
Incidentally if you press reply+quote we can see who you're responding to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him. "
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him.
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs?"
You read that right. I’ve met three men, and had maybe fucked them a handful of times in total. |
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Actually, we have had these discussions and I have permssion to play away. I generally don't however as I still think its wrong and despite effectively having a hall pass, I suspect it would hurt her to know I was off with someone else, even if just for sex... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him.
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs?
You read that right. I’ve met three men, and had maybe fucked them a handful of times in total. "
Okay, I’m possibly missing the point then - if you have a husband and a low sex drive is it because you don’t fancy him that way or does he like seeing you with other men?
Actually that’s a really personal question so dw about responding, I was just trying to fathom out the logic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him.
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs?
You read that right. I’ve met three men, and had maybe fucked them a handful of times in total.
Okay, I’m possibly missing the point then - if you have a husband and a low sex drive is it because you don’t fancy him that way or does he like seeing you with other men?
Actually that’s a really personal question so dw about responding, I was just trying to fathom out the logic."
I’ve already answered it - it turns him on me being with someone else. He had been thinking about it for a while and I told him I’d try it. I find it difficult actually arranging meets because I’m hardly ever in the mood.
Also - I fancy the pants off my husband. Wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t  when we fuck, it’s amazing. Just..takes me a while to get there. Like I said before, there’s almost always underlining issues.
It’s okay if you don’t understand - it isn’t your situation to understand |
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him.
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs?
You read that right. I’ve met three men, and had maybe fucked them a handful of times in total. "
Maybe there is a place for me in FAB world after all
OP, as someone who has been in a relationship while having a low libido all I can suggest is talk to the other person, find out the reason, don't make either party feel guilty about their libido and come to a decision together. Then keep talking to make sure that they are still comfortable with the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe there is a place for me in FAB world after all
OP, as someone who has been in a relationship while having a low libido all I can suggest is talk to the other person, find out the reason, don't make either party feel guilty about their libido and come to a decision together. Then keep talking to make sure that they are still comfortable with the situation."
There’s a place for pretty much everyone on fab x |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss..."
Talk to them and see what happens
I love my other half more than ever but my libido doesn't as always go in sync.
For many reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him.
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs?
You read that right. I’ve met three men, and had maybe fucked them a handful of times in total.
Okay, I’m possibly missing the point then - if you have a husband and a low sex drive is it because you don’t fancy him that way or does he like seeing you with other men?
Actually that’s a really personal question so dw about responding, I was just trying to fathom out the logic.
I’ve already answered it - it turns him on me being with someone else. He had been thinking about it for a while and I told him I’d try it. I find it difficult actually arranging meets because I’m hardly ever in the mood.
Also - I fancy the pants off my husband. Wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t when we fuck, it’s amazing. Just..takes me a while to get there. Like I said before, there’s almost always underlining issues.
It’s okay if you don’t understand - it isn’t your situation to understand "
Absolutely, I agree it isn’t mine to understand. I’m just totally fascinated by what makes other people tick, I think missed my vocation in life career wise.
Thank you for answering, I do appreciate your openness... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, for whatever reason, your partner loses his/her libido. What are your options? Leave him/her (hard if the rest of the relationship is sound), become a serial masturbator (risk blindness), cheat (eg. evil) or get permission to play away (easier said than done and potentially still hurtful)?
Discuss...
Well, seeing as I have an extremely low sex drive (yep, really) and have for many years, I’ll tell you what my husband does; loves me. He never tries in any way whatsoever to make me feel guilty, he’s never once made me feel pressured or made me feel bad about not having sex, he knows I adore sex and it is nothing personal to him.
Up until a year ago we were lucky to be having sex once a month. I just had no desire for it. I still hardly ever want sex.
I don’t know if I just happened to marry the most amazing man in the universe but I genuinely don’t understand people who cheat on their partner because their partner has a low sex drive. You would try and work through it - most of the time there is underlining issues.
My husband wanks about once every two weeks as well.
So yep. I’d put up with it. I love my husband unconditionally. I’d rather go without sex for the rest of my life than go without him.
Maybe I’ve read this wrong but you’re the one with the low sex drive looking for sex on fabs?
You read that right. I’ve met three men, and had maybe fucked them a handful of times in total.
Okay, I’m possibly missing the point then - if you have a husband and a low sex drive is it because you don’t fancy him that way or does he like seeing you with other men?
Actually that’s a really personal question so dw about responding, I was just trying to fathom out the logic.
I’ve already answered it - it turns him on me being with someone else. He had been thinking about it for a while and I told him I’d try it. I find it difficult actually arranging meets because I’m hardly ever in the mood.
Also - I fancy the pants off my husband. Wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t when we fuck, it’s amazing. Just..takes me a while to get there. Like I said before, there’s almost always underlining issues.
It’s okay if you don’t understand - it isn’t your situation to understand
Absolutely, I agree it isn’t mine to understand. I’m just totally fascinated by what makes other people tick, I think missed my vocation in life career wise.
Thank you for answering, I do appreciate your openness... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my case I have a partner who I love very much but has zero libido. We have sex less than once in 6 months and when happens is like I am forcing him. He loves me a lot and our relationship is the sweetest ever, but simply he doesn't like sex and doesn't understand the need for it. To make and example... I tried to make him touch me a couple of times and he was masturbating me while playing a game on his phone with the other hand. Of course I didn't ask it a third time.
We talked many times, I proposed every possible way. Going to a doctor, trying erotic games, massages, open couple... I made the impossible to excite him... He didn't want to talk. He doesn't want to understand. He would never accept me telling him I am meeting someone else. He is upset to see me unhappy but doesn't change anything or try anything.
Guess cheating is the only thing left. Maybe is bad from me. But his complete denial of my needs isn't bad either? I have to live this aspect of my life apart from him. And I refuse to be seen as a evil one or to be told I should leave him then. We have a wonderful life together. Apart we would surely not be happier. |
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