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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I always think that to seduce someone almost implies to get a person into bed against their will, to use techniques to overcome their sensibilities and to almost trick them into bed. I’m not casting aspersions against people who do try to seduce someone, it’s just how I see the word...
Personally I don’t use any techniques to get someone into bed. I’m just me and generally bumble my way along in the hope that the other person wants something similar, but of course I realise that not everyone is the same.
Do you use seduction techniques, if so; what do you do to sweep them into bed? Do you think that the concept is outmoded or that my assessment of the term is incorrect?
Over to you dear fabbers... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally."
Seduced ?  |
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I think that it implies unwillingness or reluctance on behalf of one person too. I prefer any sexual encounters I'm involved in to be desired equally from the start.
I think people use seduce to mean that they want the old fashioned, courtly kind of encounter. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Whilst I think it *can* mean what you suggest OP I don't think it necessarily always does and also I'd suggest that it can't be against the seducees will if they succumb to it.
As for whether I use it - I'm with you in the bumble along and see where it leads camp - I feel awkward and ridiculous if I use any of the standard seduction lines so it generally tends to come out as something more blunt and to the point like "soooo shall we go to bed then" *cringe cringe blush blush* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally."
Just as seduction can be construed differently, so can bumbling. To me it means that I have no clear plan and effectively take things as they happen. I do flirt and pursue, however there needs to be reciprocation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally.
Seduced ? "
Precisely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally.
Just as seduction can be construed differently, so can bumbling. To me it means that I have no clear plan and effectively take things as they happen. I do flirt and pursue, however there needs to be reciprocation "
Surely being on here it's unlikely that someone would respond if it wasn't reciprocated? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally.
Just as seduction can be construed differently, so can bumbling. To me it means that I have no clear plan and effectively take things as they happen. I do flirt and pursue, however there needs to be reciprocation "
Isn’t this a form of seduction ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally.
Just as seduction can be construed differently, so can bumbling. To me it means that I have no clear plan and effectively take things as they happen. I do flirt and pursue, however there needs to be reciprocation
Isn’t this a form of seduction ?"
If you take the word to be an umbrella term to cover any form of attempt for sexual engagement. I take it to be something more specific |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seduction is just a word that can be construed differently by different people.
Somebody "bumbling" would not be my first choice in my direction- I want to be persued, flirted with.
Engaged mentally.
Just as seduction can be construed differently, so can bumbling. To me it means that I have no clear plan and effectively take things as they happen. I do flirt and pursue, however there needs to be reciprocation
Surely being on here it's unlikely that someone would respond if it wasn't reciprocated?"
Not necessarily, it all depends on the manner of the response and the situation. Not every conversation on here is preamble to sex |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it"
If the mirroring is intentional and conscious then surely that is a technique? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me seduction denotes that crescendo where you go from having just met and you seemlessly and naturally swell into such a state of mutual desire that you desperately want to fuck. It's a form of foreplay really, where you flirt and tentatively touch then get closer then kiss and you both slowly build. Sex without seduction, for me, is what you do with an escort; you pays yer money and you fucks.
Seduction doesn't have a time frame. It can bubble up over a few drinks, seep out over a few days of messaging, or gush out within moments of seeing each other. But whatever speed it goes at it always delivers you both to the act of sex horny as hell and out of breath for each other. If it doesn't feel like that, and it feels a bit contrived and unnatural, then you weren't properly seduced |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it
If the mirroring is intentional and conscious then surely that is a technique? "
Its only a test |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it
If the mirroring is intentional and conscious then surely that is a technique?
Its only a test"
The point that I’m trying to make is that if it’s a conscious decision to test or to try then that’s still a technique that you’re employing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me seduction denotes that crescendo where you go from having just met and you seemlessly and naturally swell into such a state of mutual desire that you desperately want to fuck. It's a form of foreplay really, where you flirt and tentatively touch then get closer then kiss and you both slowly build. Sex without seduction, for me, is what you do with an escort; you pays yer money and you fucks.
Seduction doesn't have a time frame. It can bubble up over a few drinks, seep out over a few days of messaging, or gush out within moments of seeing each other. But whatever speed it goes at it always delivers you both to the act of sex horny as hell and out of breath for each other. If it doesn't feel like that, and it feels a bit contrived and unnatural, then you weren't properly seduced "
That’s an interesting way of viewing it and the way that you write is certainly very evocative and florid. I do feel that maybe it’s a touch on the romantic side, if it’s a natural progression and true from both sides then that’s great, but my view is that if it’s deliberately worked or forced then you come back to my OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it
If the mirroring is intentional and conscious then surely that is a technique?
Its only a test
The point that I’m trying to make is that if it’s a conscious decision to test or to try then that’s still a technique that you’re employing. "
Cool then seems iv got game then who knew get in yes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just have a laugh see were it takes us no technique just flirting laughing eye contact and the occasional bit of mirror testing to see how into me she is but thats it
If the mirroring is intentional and conscious then surely that is a technique?
Its only a test
The point that I’m trying to make is that if it’s a conscious decision to test or to try then that’s still a technique that you’re employing.
Cool then seems iv got game then who knew get in yes "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me seduction denotes that crescendo where you go from having just met and you seemlessly and naturally swell into such a state of mutual desire that you desperately want to fuck. It's a form of foreplay really, where you flirt and tentatively touch then get closer then kiss and you both slowly build. Sex without seduction, for me, is what you do with an escort; you pays yer money and you fucks.
Seduction doesn't have a time frame. It can bubble up over a few drinks, seep out over a few days of messaging, or gush out within moments of seeing each other. But whatever speed it goes at it always delivers you both to the act of sex horny as hell and out of breath for each other. If it doesn't feel like that, and it feels a bit contrived and unnatural, then you weren't properly seduced
That’s an interesting way of viewing it and the way that you write is certainly very evocative and florid. I do feel that maybe it’s a touch on the romantic side, if it’s a natural progression and true from both sides then that’s great, but my view is that if it’s deliberately worked or forced then you come back to my OP"
For me your op is about manipulation. When an advert seduces us it does so manipulatively. When a pick up artist knowingly uses tricks to seduce us they also do so manipulatively. This makes seduction sound like a bad thing. But seduction isn't always manipulative like this. We can want to be seduced. And two people can fall into the charms of each other.
It's merely a process by which we go from our normal everyday state of mind to falling prone to a strong sexual urge. That could have come about manipulatively or through mutual flirtation and enchantment |
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Seduction does not have anything to do with bedding. More of a charm, if you are the kind of person people want to be around your words are intoxicating, your present is felt and there is a warm aura about you with an understanding of social cue. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me seduction denotes that crescendo where you go from having just met and you seemlessly and naturally swell into such a state of mutual desire that you desperately want to fuck. It's a form of foreplay really, where you flirt and tentatively touch then get closer then kiss and you both slowly build. Sex without seduction, for me, is what you do with an escort; you pays yer money and you fucks.
Seduction doesn't have a time frame. It can bubble up over a few drinks, seep out over a few days of messaging, or gush out within moments of seeing each other. But whatever speed it goes at it always delivers you both to the act of sex horny as hell and out of breath for each other. If it doesn't feel like that, and it feels a bit contrived and unnatural, then you weren't properly seduced
That’s an interesting way of viewing it and the way that you write is certainly very evocative and florid. I do feel that maybe it’s a touch on the romantic side, if it’s a natural progression and true from both sides then that’s great, but my view is that if it’s deliberately worked or forced then you come back to my OP
For me your op is about manipulation. When an advert seduces us it does so manipulatively. When a pick up artist knowingly uses tricks to seduce us they also do so manipulatively. This makes seduction sound like a bad thing. But seduction isn't always manipulative like this. We can want to be seduced. And two people can fall into the charms of each other.
It's merely a process by which we go from our normal everyday state of mind to falling prone to a strong sexual urge. That could have come about manipulatively or through mutual flirtation and enchantment "
That’s an interesting differentiation. And yes, manipulation is at the core of my definition of seduction I think. I would probably call your definition of approach something more akin to courting or using a different term entirely; mutual attraction |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seduction does not have anything to do with bedding. More of a charm, if you are the kind of person people want to be around your words are intoxicating, your present is felt and there is a warm aura about you with an understanding of social cue."
That’s charisma surely? |
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"Seduction does not have anything to do with bedding. More of a charm, if you are the kind of person people want to be around your words are intoxicating, your present is felt and there is a warm aura about you with an understanding of social cue.
That’s charisma surely? "
Yes but both intertwine.
A charismatic person surely can be seductive however a seductive person might not have the skills and courage to be charismatic. Both are learnt behaviour.
Generally isn't "behaviour" a form of manipulating.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My dictionary app has seduce as "to persuade or induce to have sex". In short, to warm someone to the idea of sex... to get them in the mood. In my experience many swingers don't bother with that and, as a result, that moment between when you were talking about your last family trip to Spain and them whopping their cock out can be a bit surreal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My dictionary app has seduce as "to persuade or induce to have sex". In short, to warm someone to the idea of sex... to get them in the mood. In my experience many swingers don't bother with that and, as a result, that moment between when you were talking about your last family trip to Spain and them whopping their cock out can be a bit surreal."
Both the words persuade and induce in this situation point to my OP. Warming someone to the idea of sex should require neither persuasion not inducement, it should be about mutual attraction |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seduction does not have anything to do with bedding. More of a charm, if you are the kind of person people want to be around your words are intoxicating, your present is felt and there is a warm aura about you with an understanding of social cue.
That’s charisma surely?
Yes but both intertwine.
A charismatic person surely can be seductive however a seductive person might not have the skills and courage to be charismatic. Both are learnt behaviour.
Generally isn't "behaviour" a form of manipulating.
"
I think that charisma is a natural thing that comes from a degree of confidence and ease. Seduction I think is something that is forced or is false and planned, the opposite of natural.
How do you quantify behaviour as manipulating, I’m going to have to ask you to explain that one... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't seduce. I just thrust my naked boobs into their face until they can't see and breathe and they give in to my wants and needs. They don't have any choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having being blessed with unattractive looks i have to make up for it in other ways so i use humour as for seduction hahahaha i have as much seduction skill a mackerel in a wet paper bag would have so no seduction here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dictionary app has seduce as "to persuade or induce to have sex". In short, to warm someone to the idea of sex... to get them in the mood. In my experience many swingers don't bother with that and, as a result, that moment between when you were talking about your last family trip to Spain and them whopping their cock out can be a bit surreal.
Both the words persuade and induce in this situation point to my OP. Warming someone to the idea of sex should require neither persuasion not inducement, it should be about mutual attraction"
You're framing a false dilemma of coerced seduction vs mutual attraction. In reality we don't get seduced if we aren't attracted. Seduction works because there is mutual attraction. Mutual attraction without seduction leads to nothing. It's just platonic mutual attraction. Seduction is what gets us from mutual attraction to doing something about that attraction |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My dictionary app has seduce as "to persuade or induce to have sex". In short, to warm someone to the idea of sex... to get them in the mood. In my experience many swingers don't bother with that and, as a result, that moment between when you were talking about your last family trip to Spain and them whopping their cock out can be a bit surreal.
Both the words persuade and induce in this situation point to my OP. Warming someone to the idea of sex should require neither persuasion not inducement, it should be about mutual attraction
You're framing a false dilemma of coerced seduction vs mutual attraction. In reality we don't get seduced if we aren't attracted. Seduction works because there is mutual attraction. Mutual attraction without seduction leads to nothing. It's just platonic mutual attraction. Seduction is what gets us from mutual attraction to doing something about that attraction "
To my mind the word seduction denotes a level of manipulation and coercion though.
There’s a huge difference between mutual attraction and the natural progression of desire to using techniques for sexual advances |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't seduce. I just thrust my naked boobs into their face until they can't see and breathe and they give in to my wants and needs. They don't have any choice "
Bollox |
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Having skim through Robert Greene the art of seduction. I would conclude seduction is about manipulation.
To sum up the book
The people around you are all potential victims of a seduction, but first you must know what type of victim you are dealing with. Victims are categorised by what they feel they are missing in life—adventure, attention, romance, a naughty experience, mental or physical stimulation, etc.
A timid person may yearn to play the star; a prude may long for a transgressive thrill.
His book is usually about manipulating at least Power and The Art of Seduction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark "
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now |
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"My dictionary app has seduce as "to persuade or induce to have sex". In short, to warm someone to the idea of sex... to get them in the mood. In my experience many swingers don't bother with that and, as a result, that moment between when you were talking about your last family trip to Spain and them whopping their cock out can be a bit surreal.
Both the words persuade and induce in this situation point to my OP. Warming someone to the idea of sex should require neither persuasion not inducement, it should be about mutual attraction"
thats like saying you should just want sex with no forplay |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now"
Simply watch the Hugh Grant film collection, you’ll pick it up in no time |
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now"
Don't forget your crayons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now
Don't forget your crayons "
I wont where do u want them |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"To my mind the word seduction denotes a level of manipulation and coercion though.
There’s a huge difference between mutual attraction and the natural progression of desire to using techniques for sexual advances "
And that's your personal, clearly negative interpretation of the word. Language is subjective and all that - everyone knows that a word can conjure up different ideas for people.
Your bumbling Grantesque 'appeal' is, albeit in my mind, a form of seduction - it 'persuades' others who buy into that particular brand of charm that you're fuckable.
General techniques to seduce someone doesn't have to be those employed by puas etc. It can be the flirting with the subtle and less subtle sexual references, the attention given in messaging someone. Even the alteration in language dependant on the recipient is a small form of seduction - perhaps on a subconscious level but one nonetheless.
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now
Simply watch the Hugh Grant film collection, you’ll pick it up in no time"
Hugh Grant may play the charmer but he'd never be able to seduce me...lol |
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now
Don't forget your crayons
I wont where do u want them "
Use my body as your canvas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seduction does not have anything to do with bedding. More of a charm, if you are the kind of person people want to be around your words are intoxicating, your present is felt and there is a warm aura about you with an understanding of social cue.
That’s charisma surely? "
Those talented in seduction are often charismatic, it's true, but seduction itself is a highly evolved social skill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now
Don't forget your crayons
I wont where do u want them
Use my body as your canvas "
do u have color by numbers |
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now
Don't forget your crayons
I wont where do u want them
Use my body as your canvas do u have color by numbers "
No...but I do have freckles so just join the dots  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IMO seduction is an art form that when performed by an expert is heady and intoxicating and impossible to resist.
However, your "bumbling along" also hits the mark
Noted gonna spend a week at college art class now
Don't forget your crayons
I wont where do u want them
Use my body as your canvas do u have color by numbers
No...but I do have freckles so just join the dots "
Thank god for that im crap at doodling |
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