FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Time to give up
Time to give up
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
I dunno if it’ll make u feel any better.. but I have my first meet in 8 months tomorrow - and it’s only a social..
I feel exactly like this sometimes. Like I know it’s the lifestyle I want but I lack the courage to go after it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
Take it easy.
Bye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
See you were doing it wrong. I thought you were supposed to flood their inbox with dick picks to show you're interested  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
why does it have to be a lifestyle? why not look at it like its something you do when you have the time to indulge in a bit of you time..
stop making it the centre of your private life and just go with the flow and then things may fall into place
|
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By *iger.10Man
over a year ago
Llantrisant |
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want.
why does it have to be a lifestyle? why not look at it like its something you do when you have the time to indulge in a bit of you time..
stop making it the centre of your private life and just go with the flow and then things may fall into place
"
This..why let it define you and put so much pressure on yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think op is just in a huff cause of the woman who found someone else"
for once actually you would be wrong, but then you don't know me, or what else is going on in my life, so yeh it's easy to jump to a conclusion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want.
why does it have to be a lifestyle? why not look at it like its something you do when you have the time to indulge in a bit of you time..
stop making it the centre of your private life and just go with the flow and then things may fall into place
"
What she said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want.
why does it have to be a lifestyle? why not look at it like its something you do when you have the time to indulge in a bit of you time..
stop making it the centre of your private life and just go with the flow and then things may fall into place
"
I agree with this |
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"I think op is just in a huff cause of the woman who found someone else for once actually you would be wrong, but then you don't know me, or what else is going on in my life, so yeh it's easy to jump to a conclusion.
"
it is after your last thread earlier |
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"It’s not a lifestyle choice for me it’s a means to an end.
Stick around the forums / social side - anything else is then a bonus  "
Just looking at your bewbies makes staying on here all the more worthwhile  |
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"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
reassessing is a good thing to do. If fab is affecting you in any way adversely I think hiding your profile for as bit is a good idea. This is supposed to be fun, if it isn't stop doing it, it isn't compulsory. |
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Stick around, have a laugh, a bit of banter and flirting. If it doesn’t go any further then you’ve made some new likeminded friends at least but who knows what might happen tomorrow. The main thing is not to take it too seriously or let it take over your life. Social meets can be just as much fun so maybe change your approach and enjoy yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want.
why does it have to be a lifestyle? why not look at it like its something you do when you have the time to indulge in a bit of you time..
stop making it the centre of your private life and just go with the flow and then things may fall into place
"
This.
Like a hobbie, holiday or popping out occasionally for a drink. It's just part of life, can be a small or large part. Whatever suits your life style. Don't let it control you either way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s not a lifestyle choice for me it’s a means to an end.
Stick around the forums / social side - anything else is then a bonus
Just looking at your bewbies makes staying on here all the more worthwhile "
You smoooooth talker you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick around, have a laugh, a bit of banter and flirting. If it doesn’t go any further then you’ve made some new likeminded friends at least but who knows what might happen tomorrow. The main thing is not to take it too seriously or let it take over your life. Social meets can be just as much fun so maybe change your approach and enjoy yourself "
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want.
why does it have to be a lifestyle? why not look at it like its something you do when you have the time to indulge in a bit of you time..
stop making it the centre of your private life and just go with the flow and then things may fall into place
"
Finest words ever spoken.. I’ve been dipping in and out for the last 8 years. Like all things, make them work for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s not a lifestyle choice for me it’s a means to an end.
Stick around the forums / social side - anything else is then a bonus "
Agree entirely ... be patient and be yourself and who knows
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By *educerMan
over a year ago
Brentwood |
75% of this site is crap, fakes, timewasters etc.
It’s about finding that 25%, the honest, genuine people. When you do the world is a happier place, clubs are a good way to start.
And before the forum police start jumping up and down this is just my opinion. |
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"It’s not a lifestyle choice for me it’s a means to an end.
Stick around the forums / social side - anything else is then a bonus
Just looking at your bewbies makes staying on here all the more worthwhile
You smoooooth talker you..."
See now, pillow talk is my forte, but as it says on ma profile, actions speak louder than words  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think op is just in a huff cause of the woman who found someone else for once actually you would be wrong, but then you don't know me, or what else is going on in my life, so yeh it's easy to jump to a conclusion.
it is after your last thread earlier"
maybe the term lifestyle was wrong, but what happened today just made me realise, I don't have the confidence in myself, put me behind the bar, or give me a microphone and some music, and boom I am a different person, but it's just performance, a persona that i can put on and take off, take me out of my comfort zone and I am that bloke that sits at the back of a room and no one actually notices, I am inherently shy when it comes to women and find it difficult to break the ice, hence why it takes me some time to feel comfortable enough to actually get round to the subject of playing.
I dont have any issues in the bedroom department, just getting there.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it does my head in this site nobody gives you a chance you can't even have a joke on here everyone just acts like there stuck up and thinks ther better than anyone else, people need to give people a chance it's hard to send a random message and win them over in one line |
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"I know that I'm not cut out for this lifestyle OP,but I love the forums there what brings me back to fab"
Sod off, you just keep coming back when you've thought up a new username 
Oh, and the Peanut Butter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that I'm not cut out for this lifestyle OP,but I love the forums there what brings me back to fab
Sod off, you just keep coming back when you've thought up a new username
Oh, and the Peanut Butter "
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"I think op is just in a huff cause of the woman who found someone else for once actually you would be wrong, but then you don't know me, or what else is going on in my life, so yeh it's easy to jump to a conclusion.
it is after your last thread earlier maybe the term lifestyle was wrong, but what happened today just made me realise, I don't have the confidence in myself, put me behind the bar, or give me a microphone and some music, and boom I am a different person, but it's just performance, a persona that i can put on and take off, take me out of my comfort zone and I am that bloke that sits at the back of a room and no one actually notices, I am inherently shy when it comes to women and find it difficult to break the ice, hence why it takes me some time to feel comfortable enough to actually get round to the subject of playing.
I dont have any issues in the bedroom department, just getting there.
"
but you dont have to come out with it and just say do you want to play. You could suggest going for coffee and see how you get on or see if theres an attraction. Theres plenty of ways of saying it and your on a swingers site. If you contact a lady its obvious your not just wanting to pass the time off day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah it does my head in this site nobody gives you a chance you can't even have a joke on here everyone just acts like there stuck up and thinks ther better than anyone else, people need to give people a chance it's hard to send a random message and win them over in one line "
Was that you joking or being serious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah it does my head in this site nobody gives you a chance you can't even have a joke on here everyone just acts like there stuck up and thinks ther better than anyone else, people need to give people a chance it's hard to send a random message and win them over in one line "
stop hijacking others and get your own thread...whoever you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t make the “playing” a priority, go for a relaxed, casual social first and take it from there.
Then if you meet for nookie at some other time then it’s a plus, if not then you’ve had an hour out with a lady and that should help build your confidence.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think op is just in a huff cause of the woman who found someone else for once actually you would be wrong, but then you don't know me, or what else is going on in my life, so yeh it's easy to jump to a conclusion.
it is after your last thread earlier maybe the term lifestyle was wrong, but what happened today just made me realise, I don't have the confidence in myself, put me behind the bar, or give me a microphone and some music, and boom I am a different person, but it's just performance, a persona that i can put on and take off, take me out of my comfort zone and I am that bloke that sits at the back of a room and no one actually notices, I am inherently shy when it comes to women and find it difficult to break the ice, hence why it takes me some time to feel comfortable enough to actually get round to the subject of playing.
I dont have any issues in the bedroom department, just getting there.
"
Please don’t over think OP, just be you, it will come good. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think op is just in a huff cause of the woman who found someone else for once actually you would be wrong, but then you don't know me, or what else is going on in my life, so yeh it's easy to jump to a conclusion.
it is after your last thread earlier maybe the term lifestyle was wrong, but what happened today just made me realise, I don't have the confidence in myself, put me behind the bar, or give me a microphone and some music, and boom I am a different person, but it's just performance, a persona that i can put on and take off, take me out of my comfort zone and I am that bloke that sits at the back of a room and no one actually notices, I am inherently shy when it comes to women and find it difficult to break the ice, hence why it takes me some time to feel comfortable enough to actually get round to the subject of playing.
I dont have any issues in the bedroom department, just getting there.
Please don’t over think OP, just be you, it will come good. X"
My sentiments exactly
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"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
Ah don't give up man. This things a right laugh. You can't take any of it seriously, least of all yourself.
I mean, just look at the shit pics I put up. They're not even my own clothes or shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
After spending a very restless night, I realised that I can't do and don't want the fuck and go type of thing.
I want to look into someone's eyes and see that passion and lust or what ever you want to call it, to feel that passion in a kiss or a tender caress.
I have been to club's, but because I am so shy and self conscious, they are just a social outlet, an escape from my normal day to day work life, don't get me wrong I can chat to someone sat at the bar but have got the nerve to to say anything more than general conversation.
So basically I am fucked.
It's easy to be a keyboard warrior |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's time to give up, not sure I am cut out for this lifestyle, as much as I enjoy the forums and have actually made a couple of good friends.
I find it difficult to actually come out and just say hey you want to play.
Not sure if I am going to go unlos yet, but I need to have a think and reassess what I want."
make a connection first then the chemistry happens naturally if their Is any |
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No you are not fucked.
It's absolutely fine to use this site even if you are looking for something more substantial.
You don't judge those that follow a swinging lifestyle so therefore you have a right to socialise.
Leaving won't find you what you want either.
Maybe invest in finding a more solid relationship a little more but there's no need to leave. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
So basically I am fucked.
"
Or not as the case may be
To this and your other post, sometimes for the people who want meets sooner rather than later it is best to ask sooner rather than later. The internet is easier than real life as you can't see their faces if they say no, just go for it and ask to meet...let's face it that is what most are on here for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After spending a very restless night, I realised that I can't do and don't want the fuck and go type of thing.
I want to look into someone's eyes and see that passion and lust or what ever you want to call it, to feel that passion in a kiss or a tender caress.
I have been to club's, but because I am so shy and self conscious, they are just a social outlet, an escape from my normal day to day work life, don't get me wrong I can chat to someone sat at the bar but have got the nerve to to say anything more than general conversation.
So basically I am fucked.
It's easy to be a keyboard warrior "
There are woman out in fab land that want what you’ve described too, it’s just a matter of finding them.
Pop it on your profile that this is what you’re looking for and keep your options open.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whatever you decide about the lifestyle...if you enjoy the forum's, stick around for the forum's! I don't think anyone minds and you never know, other things might fall into place when you least expect. How often do you stop looking for things and then they turn up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah it does my head in this site nobody gives you a chance you can't even have a joke on here everyone just acts like there stuck up and thinks ther better than anyone else, people need to give people a chance it's hard to send a random message and win them over in one line
stop hijacking others and get your own thread...whoever you are "
Im nobody  |
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