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By *ealmax OP Man
over a year ago
South west |
How should I go about wanting to explore my Dom side? It’s something I’ve wanted to try for a while but don’t really know where to start! Reading most sub profiles on here, they are all looking for experienced Doms. How does one go about the ‘early years’ to get this experience?
Any help appreciated  |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Birmingham’s Bizarre Bazaar and the London Alternative Market both run seminars in various techniques that can be used. There’s a nightclub in Manchester I used to go to with viewing rooms where you can watch and ask questions, give things a go if you fancy it.
Find an experienced sub that’s willing to top from the bottom and show you the ropes, maybe.
Local munches and fet are good starting points to find your local alternative community.
There’s loads of ways - good luck!!!
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By *ealmax OP Man
over a year ago
South west |
"I found an experienced Domme and sub pair that were willing to let me understudy while I learnt the ropes"
Now that sounds like a good idea, but not sure how many couples would be willing to ‘teach’? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
All excellent advice above OP - to add to that with some thoughts of my own:
Your profile mentions nothing of your interest, in fact you don't even have SM ticked in your list of interests - so addressing that would be a good start - but expand on your interest, why you have it, what your expectations are etc.
Next up read, then read some more, and when you've done that read some more - there are some excellent books and websites out there.
Think about what interests you about that side of your sexuality and what your expectations are of it - what type of Dom you think you'd be, what style you think you'd adopt - do you see yourself as a sadist, a mentor, someone who guides and leads? Or something else?
There are some very good on-line questionnaires that list pretty much most elements of BDSM and ask you to rate your interest in them on a scale of 1-5 or similar - hunt them out and complete one, it may help focus your mind on your specific interests.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All excellent advice above OP - to add to that with some thoughts of my own:
Your profile mentions nothing of your interest, in fact you don't even have SM ticked in your list of interests - so addressing that would be a good start - but expand on your interest, why you have it, what your expectations are etc.
Next up read, then read some more, and when you've done that read some more - there are some excellent books and websites out there.
Think about what interests you about that side of your sexuality and what your expectations are of it - what type of Dom you think you'd be, what style you think you'd adopt - do you see yourself as a sadist, a mentor, someone who guides and leads? Or something else?
There are some very good on-line questionnaires that list pretty much most elements of BDSM and ask you to rate your interest in them on a scale of 1-5 or similar - hunt them out and complete one, it may help focus your mind on your specific interests.
"
Always good advice from this guy  |
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By *ealmax OP Man
over a year ago
South west |
"All excellent advice above OP - to add to that with some thoughts of my own:
Your profile mentions nothing of your interest, in fact you don't even have SM ticked in your list of interests - so addressing that would be a good start - but expand on your interest, why you have it, what your expectations are etc.
Next up read, then read some more, and when you've done that read some more - there are some excellent books and websites out there.
Think about what interests you about that side of your sexuality and what your expectations are of it - what type of Dom you think you'd be, what style you think you'd adopt - do you see yourself as a sadist, a mentor, someone who guides and leads? Or something else?
There are some very good on-line questionnaires that list pretty much most elements of BDSM and ask you to rate your interest in them on a scale of 1-5 or similar - hunt them out and complete one, it may help focus your mind on your specific interests.
"
Gemini,
Thanks for the advice. Will definitely take it onboard. Haven’t touched my profile settings since I joined so probably need an update!
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"All excellent advice above OP - to add to that with some thoughts of my own:
Your profile mentions nothing of your interest, in fact you don't even have SM ticked in your list of interests - so addressing that would be a good start - but expand on your interest, why you have it, what your expectations are etc.
Next up read, then read some more, and when you've done that read some more - there are some excellent books and websites out there.
Think about what interests you about that side of your sexuality and what your expectations are of it - what type of Dom you think you'd be, what style you think you'd adopt - do you see yourself as a sadist, a mentor, someone who guides and leads? Or something else?
There are some very good on-line questionnaires that list pretty much most elements of BDSM and ask you to rate your interest in them on a scale of 1-5 or similar - hunt them out and complete one, it may help focus your mind on your specific interests.
Gemini,
Thanks for the advice. Will definitely take it onboard. Haven’t touched my profile settings since I joined so probably need an update!
"
No problem - whilst I'm from the other side of the coin myself the same principles apply and it's always good to see someone take the time to stop and ask (and more importantly listen) rather than just label themselves Dom and think that's all it takes
Seriously take ALL of the advice offered on this thread and you'll be on the right track |
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Lots of good advice. Definitely explore munches and anything like BBB or Lam where there are demos and classes.
I started out subbing and was mentored by my then Mistress who saw my Dom side and nurtured it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All excellent advice above OP - to add to that with some thoughts of my own:
Your profile mentions nothing of your interest, in fact you don't even have SM ticked in your list of interests - so addressing that would be a good start - but expand on your interest, why you have it, what your expectations are etc.
Next up read, then read some more, and when you've done that read some more - there are some excellent books and websites out there.
Think about what interests you about that side of your sexuality and what your expectations are of it - what type of Dom you think you'd be, what style you think you'd adopt - do you see yourself as a sadist, a mentor, someone who guides and leads? Or something else?
There are some very good on-line questionnaires that list pretty much most elements of BDSM and ask you to rate your interest in them on a scale of 1-5 or similar - hunt them out and complete one, it may help focus your mind on your specific interests.
Gemini,
Thanks for the advice. Will definitely take it onboard. Haven’t touched my profile settings since I joined so probably need an update!
No problem - whilst I'm from the other side of the coin myself the same principles apply and it's always good to see someone take the time to stop and ask (and more importantly listen) rather than just label themselves Dom and think that's all it takes
Seriously take ALL of the advice offered on this thread and you'll be on the right track "
Totally agree.
Those who label themselves when they have zero experience or knowledge aren’t *true*.
There is no such thing as too much educating when it comes to D/S in my opinion! As a submissive I’m always learning and enjoy it.
Hope it goes well OP! |
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"How should I go about wanting to explore my Dom side? It’s something I’ve wanted to try for a while but don’t really know where to start! Reading most sub profiles on here, they are all looking for experienced Doms. How does one go about the ‘early years’ to get this experience?
Any help appreciated "
Firstly I’d just like you to know that my ex-Dom was inexperienced but he had the innate qualities needed. He developed as we went through and he’s a very lovely experienced Dom now so don’t worry about your lack of experience. Just be open with people and don’t pretend to be something you’re not.
As said above by Gemini and others go to munches and get to know others in the scene. Go to play events and watch, it’s amazing what you can learn from others just by watching. There are many styles of D and you’ll just need to find yours and hopefully find someone where your D is their s.
I’m recently exploring the DDbg dynamic and loving it. Quite surprising that it suits me, for those who know the other side of me as I’m seen as a hardcore sadistic Domme. I’m not always that bad but I think people are intimindated! But my subs are not me. We’re all different. Find out who you are as a Dom. |
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