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What advice would you give...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been there and done it, it’s never worked out for me. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason.
XX"
But what advice would you have wanted when you were considering it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Without all the info im not asking you to put it out there for all to see btw none of us can really advise you its one of those things u must work out for yourself but if you do do it for the right reasons |
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If my friend had asked I’d say please don’t. 6 months is a good chunk of time. Don’t throw it all away. They’re an ex for a reason. Head high. Nothing is worth the step backwards and the potential for misery down the line. The hard work has already been done. Love yourself a little more. You deserve it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got back with my ex and eventually married her. These things can work out well if you have enough mutually compatible needs and desires. Best decision I ever made  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To make sure that they are not subjugating their emotional needs by getting back with someone who may not be right for them, just because they are feeling lonely.
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
I'd tell them to think about the reasons why they split up in the first place. To remember the bad times that led to it and to not look back with rose tinted glasses. I'd get them to ask themselves are they missing their ex or are they missing being in a relationship as they're 2 different things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remember why you split up.
Is that reason still going to be there and possibly more importantly if the reason you split isnt there what has changed to make that reason go away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd tell them to think about the reasons why they split up in the first place. To remember the bad times that led to it and to not look back with rose tinted glasses. I'd get them to ask themselves are they missing their ex or are they missing being in a relationship as they're 2 different things "
I type slow !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If my friend had asked I’d say please don’t. 6 months is a good chunk of time. Don’t throw it all away. They’re an ex for a reason. Head high. Nothing is worth the step backwards and the potential for misery down the line. The hard work has already been done. Love yourself a little more. You deserve it. "
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I'd tell them to think about the reasons why they split up in the first place. To remember the bad times that led to it and to not look back with rose tinted glasses. I'd get them to ask themselves are they missing their ex or are they missing being in a relationship as they're 2 different things
I type slow !!"
 |
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"I'd tell them to think about the reasons why they split up in the first place. To remember the bad times that led to it and to not look back with rose tinted glasses. I'd get them to ask themselves are they missing their ex or are they missing being in a relationship as they're 2 different things
I type slow !!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
Whatever the reasons for the split, it's obvious a person in the situation you describe needs to find out what exactly it is they do want, before they consider a relationship with anyone. |
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"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
My advice.... don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been messaging an ex for months now. She's trying to get me to meet her.
I'd love to go and fuck her again but it's not going to go anywhere and probably screw her marriage up even more.
Better off out of it I think.
Leave ex's alone. Plenty more fish in Fab! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To make sure that they are not subjugating their emotional needs by getting back with someone who may not be right for them, just because they are feeling lonely.
"
That's a good one.
So to summarise, ask them if the reason they broke up is now resolved or is there a chance it would happen again, is it actually their ex that they miss or just all the trimmings of a relationship, sex, company blah blah blah. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To make sure that they are not subjugating their emotional needs by getting back with someone who may not be right for them, just because they are feeling lonely.
That's a good one.
So to summarise, ask them if the reason they broke up is now resolved or is there a chance it would happen again, is it actually their ex that they miss or just all the trimmings of a relationship, sex, company blah blah blah. "
Exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
If it's what you want to do, then do it, irrespective of advice. It's your life and your decision to make ... If people advise you and you take it then hate the outcome it won't be a very happy time for you.
Some decisions MUST be made yourself ... This is one of them. |
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"You can never go back, what ever caused the split will raise its head again
"
To play devils advocate, not necessarily.
It could have been a one off situation that got out of control, things were said, actions taken that both now regret.
Of course, the one off situation may just have been the straw that broke the camel's back, in which case remember all the other things as well! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s all about the situation really. Why did they break up? Was it something one of them done?
I think advice will differ depending on he situation.
But in saying that normally ex’s are ex’s for a reason. If it’s sexual needs that are drawing you back it’s a big no go because no matter how strong we think we are. We ain’t.
Yeah the first time might be just sex and you think great. Let’s do it again but eventually it will become emotional and somebody will end up hurt.
But that’s just my two pence  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've decided that you have a little side line going like an online agony aunt page.
I'm charging a fiver a letter from now on  "
Kind of right!
Obviously you know this advice isn't for myself, it's to be passed on, but need the correct advice because I can't advise this person when I have ulterior motives in the sense that I want to stick my nose up his arse. |
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"To make sure that they are not subjugating their emotional needs by getting back with someone who may not be right for them, just because they are feeling lonely.
"
This. To be honest, getting back with an ex is the emotional and sexual equivalent of going through the bins |
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My Nana gave me a great piece of advice as a teen when I spilt up from my childhood sweetheart.
Life is a book, men are merely chapters in it.
Once you've finished the chapter, turn the page & start the next.. No point reading it again, You already know how the last one ended.
My Nana said a lot of wise things.. I should have listened more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A close friend of mine broke up with her husband for a few months, had a bit of fun then they got back together and their marriage is stronger than ever. Some people break up for the wrong reasons or need time out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think about why you broke up. What made you unhappy? Is it really worth going through that again? "
This.
Remember the bad stuff but if they're a great shag, fuck them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?"
I had great sex with one, but that's about it. My relationships usually seem to go out with a bang (and not the good kind). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I had great sex with one, but that's about it. My relationships usually seem to go out with a bang (and not the good kind)."
Yeah this ended with a bang the first time, but she forgave me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They're probably just having a wobble.
I don't think 6 months is enough to change to make it work where it didn't, unless both parties are willing to really, really try. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They're probably just having a wobble.
I don't think 6 months is enough to change to make it work where it didn't, unless both parties are willing to really, really try."
That was to the OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have an ulterior motive, I’d steer clear of giving advice if I were you. "
Exactly. Or you're just going to give the advice that's better for you. |
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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago
deptford London |
"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
think about why they are an ex, that should keep them that way, then come and meet me |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've decided that you have a little side line going like an online agony aunt page.
I'm charging a fiver a letter from now on
Kind of right!
Obviously you know this advice isn't for myself, it's to be passed on, but need the correct advice because I can't advise this person when I have ulterior motives in the sense that I want to stick my nose up his arse. "
He's asking you about getting back with his ex? Don't give him any advice.
If you do say nothing other than to think about what has changed and why it would be different. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
You broke up for a reason remember that if that reason is no longer an issue is it worth trying again or will that issue still be there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?"
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time. "
Me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time.
Me too "
I was good at fucking it up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah hold up, if it’s this bloke you like asking then tell him to jog on. That is a classic sign of an insensitive ejit!,
Give him the cold shoulder. Permanently!
Honestly, the nerve!!!
If it’s not him then carry on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time.
Me too
I was good at fucking it up "
I think I've proper fucked it up this time. I still hope he might be up for another go.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time.
Me too
I was good at fucking it up
I think I've proper fucked it up this time. I still hope he might be up for another go. "
Fingers crossed x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it totally depends on the reasons you broke up in the first place and the circumstances surrounding that,is it something you or they did wrong or were things against you.Sometimes it’s a good thing you parted and other times a bad mistake you wish you could take back but just have to go with your gut instinct and hope for the best. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time.
Me too
I was good at fucking it up
I think I've proper fucked it up this time. I still hope he might be up for another go. "
I'll keep everything crossed for you.
But, is it all down to you? Why do you keep sabotaging it?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
Dont ever go back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only person on this thread that had a great experience getting back together with an ex?
I've been back with the same ex 3 times and it was better each time.
Me too
I was good at fucking it up
I think I've proper fucked it up this time. I still hope he might be up for another go.
I'll keep everything crossed for you.
But, is it all down to you? Why do you keep sabotaging it?
"
This time I've kind of sabotaged it on purpose, to put him off. He needs to find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got back with my ex and eventually married her. These things can work out well if you have enough mutually compatible needs and desires. Best decision I ever made "
Same here, realised how much I missed him as a person and he was the one for me. Issues can be worked through if both are committed to it. We've been married nearly 3 years and couldn't be happier. It's important to note we missed each other and not just being in a relationship though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah hold up, if it’s this bloke you like asking then tell him to jog on. That is a classic sign of an insensitive ejit!,
Give him the cold shoulder. Permanently!
Honestly, the nerve!!!
If it’s not him then carry on "
That's the thing it's second hand information. He was talking to the other guy I work with yesterday, he'd previously said to him that he was looking for a relationship but then he spoke to the guy yesterday and he said his ex has been trying to speak to him. None of this has been said to me. Guy doesn't even know I like him, well I've not said to him directly but he can probably work it out. |
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"Yeah hold up, if it’s this bloke you like asking then tell him to jog on. That is a classic sign of an insensitive ejit!,
Give him the cold shoulder. Permanently!
Honestly, the nerve!!!
If it’s not him then carry on
That's the thing it's second hand information. He was talking to the other guy I work with yesterday, he'd previously said to him that he was looking for a relationship but then he spoke to the guy yesterday and he said his ex has been trying to speak to him. None of this has been said to me. Guy doesn't even know I like him, well I've not said to him directly but he can probably work it out. "
Too much going on here, him, he, me, her. I will stay out or else I am asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes people ask for advice, but then don't want to listen.
No point wasting your energy."
This is part and parcel for the forums.......
People want hugs not sound advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've decided that you have a little side line going like an online agony aunt page.
I'm charging a fiver a letter from now on
Kind of right!
Obviously you know this advice isn't for myself, it's to be passed on, but need the correct advice because I can't advise this person when I have ulterior motives in the sense that I want to stick my nose up his arse. "
I don't know if anyone else has said this but I'd use this as your in if you haven't already burnt it. If he asks you again if you think he should get back with his ex repeat the following after me...
"I'm afraid I'm probably not the right person to ask because I'm quite into you"
It's honest, you aren't the right person to ask and you shouldn't be pretending to be... in fact the whole thing may be a test to gauge your reaction to that... and it acts as a wonderfully innocent trojan horse to let him know your feelings. If he doesn't ask you out after that he never will. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've decided that you have a little side line going like an online agony aunt page.
I'm charging a fiver a letter from now on
Kind of right!
Obviously you know this advice isn't for myself, it's to be passed on, but need the correct advice because I can't advise this person when I have ulterior motives in the sense that I want to stick my nose up his arse.
I don't know if anyone else has said this but I'd use this as your in if you haven't already burnt it. If he asks you again if you think he should get back with his ex repeat the following after me...
"I'm afraid I'm probably not the right person to ask because I'm quite into you"
It's honest, you aren't the right person to ask and you shouldn't be pretending to be... in fact the whole thing may be a test to gauge your reaction to that... and it acts as a wonderfully innocent trojan horse to let him know your feelings. If he doesn't ask you out after that he never will. "
Unfortunately, this is through a third party - probably Billy-Bob.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've decided that you have a little side line going like an online agony aunt page.
I'm charging a fiver a letter from now on
Kind of right!
Obviously you know this advice isn't for myself, it's to be passed on, but need the correct advice because I can't advise this person when I have ulterior motives in the sense that I want to stick my nose up his arse.
I don't know if anyone else has said this but I'd use this as your in if you haven't already burnt it. If he asks you again if you think he should get back with his ex repeat the following after me...
"I'm afraid I'm probably not the right person to ask because I'm quite into you"
It's honest, you aren't the right person to ask and you shouldn't be pretending to be... in fact the whole thing may be a test to gauge your reaction to that... and it acts as a wonderfully innocent trojan horse to let him know your feelings. If he doesn't ask you out after that he never will.
Unfortunately, this is through a third party - probably Billy-Bob.
"
Billy- Bob, sounds like The Walton’s or Little House on the Prairie... |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I'd tell them to think about the reasons why they split up in the first place. To remember the bad times that led to it and to not look back with rose tinted glasses. I'd get them to ask themselves are they missing their ex or are they missing being in a relationship as they're 2 different things "
This woman speaks a lot of sense. |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I'd tell them to think about the reasons why they split up in the first place. To remember the bad times that led to it and to not look back with rose tinted glasses. I'd get them to ask themselves are they missing their ex or are they missing being in a relationship as they're 2 different things
This woman speaks a lot of sense. "
Why thank you. It's the questions I had to ask myself not too long ago  |
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"To someone that was considering getting back with their ex?
Say they've been single 6 months, probably lonely and missing the regular sex and not sure what they want but they get back in contact with their ex.
What advice do you give to that? "
I've been single over 4 years and not had any sexual activity for 2 years, but looking forward to meeting a new lady and not thinking about my ex.
I suggest that you enjoy being single, enjoy your sex meets through this site and look for your next partner and don't look back |
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