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Shaken confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X "
My confidence was knocked last year when i was diagnosed with a long term illness, then i put on a lot of weight and felt even more crappy..
My solution was to delete my fab profile as i didn't think anyone would want to meet an old fat bird with anxiety and confidence issues 
I returned when i lost the weight, and had councelling for my anxiety..as for the illness its still hanging over me but i have adopted a PMA about it .. it seems to be working  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i was in a similar position some years ago but for different reasons .... i enroled on a 2 year course at the tech college .... it enthused me from the offset and boosted my confidence to the max |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X
My confidence was knocked last year when i was diagnosed with a long term illness, then i put on a lot of weight and felt even more crappy..
My solution was to delete my fab profile as i didn't think anyone would want to meet an old fat bird with anxiety and confidence issues
I returned when i lost the weight, and had councelling for my anxiety..as for the illness its still hanging over me but i have adopted a PMA about it .. it seems to be working "
That’s good, I don’t know what caused mine I’m still waiting to see my surgical team for the results of tests. But it did make me worried to leave the house, thankfully it’s gone now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i was in a similar position some years ago but for different reasons .... i enroled on a 2 year course at the tech college .... it enthused me from the offset and boosted my confidence to the max "
Sounds good, unfortunately it’s not something I could do. But I get the idea x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say a mirror and say
I'm strong
I'm beautiful
I can have what I want and who I want
Repeat... "
I try that, just the person looking back at me has different ideas x  |
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X "
You know plenty of guys find you attractive Angie . And you are a genuinely lovely lady . You know what I think anyway xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X You know plenty of guys find you attractive Angie . And you are a genuinely lovely lady . You know what I think anyway xx"
Thank you slim, yes I do x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say a mirror and say
I'm strong
I'm beautiful
I can have what I want and who I want
Repeat...
I try that, just the person looking back at me has different ideas x "
im having similar issues... So I'm going for the attitude of " Fake it....till I Make it.." only time will tell if it works. |
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X You know plenty of guys find you attractive Angie . And you are a genuinely lovely lady . You know what I think anyway xx
Thank you slim, yes I do x "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would say a mirror and say
I'm strong
I'm beautiful
I can have what I want and who I want
Repeat...
I try that, just the person looking back at me has different ideas x im having similar issues... So I'm going for the attitude of " Fake it....till I Make it.." only time will tell if it works."
It’s hard work though isn’t it , good luck with that. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X
My confidence was knocked last year when i was diagnosed with a long term illness, then i put on a lot of weight and felt even more crappy..
My solution was to delete my fab profile as i didn't think anyone would want to meet an old fat bird with anxiety and confidence issues
I returned when i lost the weight, and had councelling for my anxiety..as for the illness its still hanging over me but i have adopted a PMA about it .. it seems to be working
That’s good, I don’t know what caused mine I’m still waiting to see my surgical team for the results of tests. But it did make me worried to leave the house, thankfully it’s gone now. "
Hope you get your mojo back soon x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X
My confidence was knocked last year when i was diagnosed with a long term illness, then i put on a lot of weight and felt even more crappy..
My solution was to delete my fab profile as i didn't think anyone would want to meet an old fat bird with anxiety and confidence issues
I returned when i lost the weight, and had councelling for my anxiety..as for the illness its still hanging over me but i have adopted a PMA about it .. it seems to be working
That’s good, I don’t know what caused mine I’m still waiting to see my surgical team for the results of tests. But it did make me worried to leave the house, thankfully it’s gone now.
Hope you get your mojo back soon x"
Thank you x  |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X "
After meeting you you know that we both think your a fantastic loving, intelligent, sexy,inspiring and beautiful lady.
Hopefully knowing how well you are thought of by others will help your confidence x |
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Remember that you're strong, you're going through a lot, you're doing the best you can. Celebrate what goes right. Maybe even keep a diary of the things you can and can't manage. It might not help now, but I'm going through rehab at the moment. I go to curse myself for the tiny little things that I struggle with now, and I remember that I had to learn to walk again. So, look how far I've come and how well I'm doing. That sort of thing. |
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It’s not an easy path and it will take a long time... I’m 19 months into separation and I still have massive wobbles... but you just have to take each day as it comes... when the bad days are there go with it and you just have to ride it out... the sunnier days will come... rely on your friends and talk... but above anything be kind to yourself... we are all our own harshest critics... but some days I do stand there and think actually I’m pretty dam good.. not in a big headed way... so focus on all the positives in your life... and slowly very slowly you will find a way... and no matter what life does move forward...
Sending big hugs... you are lovely so just remember that!!! Mwah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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same thing happened to me a good few years ago,I went from being very slim to being very overweight due to thyroid problem and my husband of 22 years divorcing me because he didn't fancy me anymore
it took me ages to start losing the weight and all the other issues that went with my illness
but I got my confidence back in droves and you will to Angie xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few things happen that have shaken my confidence a bit, a few illnesses and as positive a step forward filing for my divorce is it’s all seemed to have knocked my confidence.
I’m trying hard to regain it but need a kick up the bum telling me to get on with it. So any tips how to move forward, if you’ve been through it how did you get past it ? X
After meeting you you know that we both think your a fantastic loving, intelligent, sexy,inspiring and beautiful lady.
Hopefully knowing how well you are thought of by others will help your confidence x "
Thank you, so much x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Remember that you're strong, you're going through a lot, you're doing the best you can. Celebrate what goes right. Maybe even keep a diary of the things you can and can't manage. It might not help now, but I'm going through rehab at the moment. I go to curse myself for the tiny little things that I struggle with now, and I remember that I had to learn to walk again. So, look how far I've come and how well I'm doing. That sort of thing. "
Yes that’s a good idea, I concentrate so much on getting my sons through each day that I don’t think of what I’m doing to get them there. Thank you, and good luck with your rehab x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s not an easy path and it will take a long time... I’m 19 months into separation and I still have massive wobbles... but you just have to take each day as it comes... when the bad days are there go with it and you just have to ride it out... the sunnier days will come... rely on your friends and talk... but above anything be kind to yourself... we are all our own harshest critics... but some days I do stand there and think actually I’m pretty dam good.. not in a big headed way... so focus on all the positives in your life... and slowly very slowly you will find a way... and no matter what life does move forward...
Sending big hugs... you are lovely so just remember that!!! Mwah "
I’m resigned to my marriage break up it’s been a very positive thing, though the sense of failure does bother me occasional. I know I can talk to friends but the summer is a very stressful time for us all. I know I’m my worst critic but like you I do think at times I’m not so bad. It’s just learning to like myself a bit more. Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"same thing happened to me a good few years ago,I went from being very slim to being very overweight due to thyroid problem and my husband of 22 years divorcing me because he didn't fancy me anymore
it took me ages to start losing the weight and all the other issues that went with my illness
but I got my confidence back in droves and you will to Angie xx"
Thank you, it will come back, just I suppose home life is affecting me more than I thought x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"same thing happened to me a good few years ago,I went from being very slim to being very overweight due to thyroid problem and my husband of 22 years divorcing me because he didn't fancy me anymore
it took me ages to start losing the weight and all the other issues that went with my illness
but I got my confidence back in droves and you will to Angie xx
Thank you, it will come back, just I suppose home life is affecting me more than I thought x "
your welcome,and your right it will come back xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Another boost for me during my time away from fab was finally getting around to divorcing my ex, under the 5 yr rule..
I completed all the paperwork by myself, handed it into court etc ..
Whilst we were just separated i felt like his negative energy was always dragging me down..even though i had no idea where the fecker was..
Getting the decree absolute was one of the best days of my life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another boost for me during my time away from fab was finally getting around to divorcing my ex, under the 5 yr rule..
I completed all the paperwork by myself, handed it into court etc ..
Whilst we were just separated i felt like his negative energy was always dragging me down..even though i had no idea where the fecker was..
Getting the decree absolute was one of the best days of my life "
Yes, must admit putting in the papers was a relief. Mine is 3 years but I’ve got it on the ground of adultery. I’m going to celebrate when I get mine, I know my decree nisi is due imminently x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another boost for me during my time away from fab was finally getting around to divorcing my ex, under the 5 yr rule..
I completed all the paperwork by myself, handed it into court etc ..
Whilst we were just separated i felt like his negative energy was always dragging me down..even though i had no idea where the fecker was..
Getting the decree absolute was one of the best days of my life
Yes, must admit putting in the papers was a relief. Mine is 3 years but I’ve got it on the ground of adultery. I’m going to celebrate when I get mine, I know my decree nisi is due imminently x "
Its a good feeling |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another boost for me during my time away from fab was finally getting around to divorcing my ex, under the 5 yr rule..
I completed all the paperwork by myself, handed it into court etc ..
Whilst we were just separated i felt like his negative energy was always dragging me down..even though i had no idea where the fecker was..
Getting the decree absolute was one of the best days of my life
Yes, must admit putting in the papers was a relief. Mine is 3 years but I’ve got it on the ground of adultery. I’m going to celebrate when I get mine, I know my decree nisi is due imminently x
Its a good feeling "
Oh it is, then I’m reverting to my maiden name as well. Going to reclaim myself x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Identify ONE thing you feel totally comfortable and confident in about yourself/what you do. Enjoy it. Build from there. There will be more than one thing.
Don't catastrophise wobbles to mean that everything is bad.
One that SteelHeels did a few years back has helped me. Put a little note of the good thing(s) that happened in the day. One note for each thing. Put them in a jar and visit them regularly. I think the first year there was a jar for the bad too. Mostly there were more good than bad things. We can easily forget them when life is being tough.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life these days Angie trips up a lot of people in so many different ways mostly due to it being no fault of your own. It takes time theres no quick fix but stay around people that make you smile and try to cut off the bits that don't is my advice. Your pics look lovely Angie and reading through some of these comments there seems to be a lot of love in the house xx stay cool chuck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Identify ONE thing you feel totally comfortable and confident in about yourself/what you do. Enjoy it. Build from there. There will be more than one thing.
Don't catastrophise wobbles to mean that everything is bad.
One that SteelHeels did a few years back has helped me. Put a little note of the good thing(s) that happened in the day. One note for each thing. Put them in a jar and visit them regularly. I think the first year there was a jar for the bad too. Mostly there were more good than bad things. We can easily forget them when life is being tough.
"
Great idea, I can do that. Yes sometimes I just think about the bad and don’t celebrate the good x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that Angie. You are not alone. I have zero confidence in myself at the moment and have also put on weight. Many knock backs on here, my health and my stressful life are taking its toll. All I can say is, I've met you and you are a really lovely person and things will get better in time. I concentrate on one thing that I can change about myself, because if I try to think of how to change all the things I don't like, it becomes overwhelming. So for now, I go to the gym and I find it helps me.
Sending you hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that Angie. You are not alone. I have zero confidence in myself at the moment and have also put on weight. Many knock backs on here, my health and my stressful life are taking its toll. All I can say is, I've met you and you are a really lovely person and things will get better in time. I concentrate on one thing that I can change about myself, because if I try to think of how to change all the things I don't like, it becomes overwhelming. So for now, I go to the gym and I find it helps me.
Sending you hugs x"
Thanks Dana, likewise I’ve met you and know what a lovely lady you are. But yes it’s hard looking at everything I want to change, so I’ve just got back to the gym as well. Good luck with it and big hugs to you too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Identify ONE thing you feel totally comfortable and confident in about yourself/what you do. Enjoy it. Build from there. There will be more than one thing.
Don't catastrophise wobbles to mean that everything is bad.
One that SteelHeels did a few years back has helped me. Put a little note of the good thing(s) that happened in the day. One note for each thing. Put them in a jar and visit them regularly. I think the first year there was a jar for the bad too. Mostly there were more good than bad things. We can easily forget them when life is being tough.
"
It was DiamondSmiles that mentioned it before me.
I still do this but need a kick to put more things in it. Anything, no matter how small it seems.
Hope everyone feels better soon. x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Identify ONE thing you feel totally comfortable and confident in about yourself/what you do. Enjoy it. Build from there. There will be more than one thing.
Don't catastrophise wobbles to mean that everything is bad.
One that SteelHeels did a few years back has helped me. Put a little note of the good thing(s) that happened in the day. One note for each thing. Put them in a jar and visit them regularly. I think the first year there was a jar for the bad too. Mostly there were more good than bad things. We can easily forget them when life is being tough.
It was DiamondSmiles that mentioned it before me.
I still do this but need a kick to put more things in it. Anything, no matter how small it seems.
Hope everyone feels better soon. x
"
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just be kind to yourself and say fuck it! everytime your confidence needs a boost. It is amazing how liberating those two words can be! "
I shall try x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!! "
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just be kind to yourself and say fuck it! everytime your confidence needs a boost. It is amazing how liberating those two words can be!
I shall try x "
go on! Say it now loud and proud!!! ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!!
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x "
I'm exactly the same... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!!
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x
I'm exactly the same... "
Today was just a bad day, and I hope you can pick yourself up too x |
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I tend to shut down, and rebuild myself with the broken bits facing out. I'm trying harder these days to put fewer spikes out. Self-care is important to me, in whatever form that takes as long as I allow myself to listen to what I need.
Other than that, fake the fuck out of it and surround yourself with good people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to shut down, and rebuild myself with the broken bits facing out. I'm trying harder these days to put fewer spikes out. Self-care is important to me, in whatever form that takes as long as I allow myself to listen to what I need.
Other than that, fake the fuck out of it and surround yourself with good people. "
Thank you, yes it’s hard not to put barriers up . X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a planner so whenever I fell like I need to kick myself up the arse I think f what I want to achieve and the steps needed to be taken to get that goal and I write lists of what I need to do to achieve it. Maybe not your thing but that’s how I do it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m a planner so whenever I fell like I need to kick myself up the arse I think f what I want to achieve and the steps needed to be taken to get that goal and I write lists of what I need to do to achieve it. Maybe not your thing but that’s how I do it x"
I do lists for jobs I need to do, never thought of doing it for myself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!!
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x "
Putting a face on and smiling is an easy thing to do, it's been my default attitude in public for a while now, the problem with that is people think that there's nothing wrong with you.
And then when you're not faking it and the smile has faded, you get asked why you're miserable and told to cheer up. Whenever my family or friends say that I just glare at them then walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!!
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x
Putting a face on and smiling is an easy thing to do, it's been my default attitude in public for a while now, the problem with that is people think that there's nothing wrong with you.
And then when you're not faking it and the smile has faded, you get asked why you're miserable and told to cheer up. Whenever my family or friends say that I just glare at them then walk away. "
You should try talking to them, it’s not weak to admit you need help x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!!
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x
I'm exactly the same...
Today was just a bad day, and I hope you can pick yourself up too x "
Honestly, I'm too busy to worry about myself...it's when I have 'free time' and we get to go out, especially naughty out, and I make myself ill stressing about going out, feeling fat, will anyone want to play, why is she looking at me, do I look stupid etc etc
Day to day I'm ok, just running around doing mum stuff.... And I'm an ace mum, so don't feel to bad about that aspect of my life xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People say 'fake it, until you make it'....
Harder than it sounds cos I can't do it...but if you can, do!!!
I do outwardly, it’s the inner bit that I have trouble with x
Putting a face on and smiling is an easy thing to do, it's been my default attitude in public for a while now, the problem with that is people think that there's nothing wrong with you.
And then when you're not faking it and the smile has faded, you get asked why you're miserable and told to cheer up. Whenever my family or friends say that I just glare at them then walk away.
You should try talking to them, it’s not weak to admit you need help x "
I have, they know I've got depression, they just don't seem to care. I don't think anyone I know does. They treat me like shit and wonder why I'm always in a bad mood. |
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