There are many around, you just need to look in correct places. Many Dom/Dommes hide their profession in places where there may be fear or judgement just the same way that swingers do. I know several who do not have sex with their clients or guests and so would not be on a site such as this as not appropriate or do not want to be confused with those who do have have sex with clients. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I mean a lady who likes to be sexually dominant ."
They do exist, they may just need to meet the right kind of person to 'awaken' it.
I agree that sub women seem more common than domme women. I think that's due to some women not feeling able to express thesmelves sexually. If they are sub the other person is 'making them' do things so they have less/ no guilt about wanting to be sexual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I mean a lady who likes to be sexually dominant .
They do exist, they may just need to meet the right kind of person to 'awaken' it.
I agree that sub women seem more common than domme women. I think that's due to some women not feeling able to express thesmelves sexually. If they are sub the other person is 'making them' do things so they have less/ no guilt about wanting to be sexual. "
No I don't think it's that - to truly be a Dom/Domme or Sub it needs to be something inside you that seeks that fulfilment - some people flirt with it and do it out of interest but there are fewer Dommes. Many that I have seen on another website that can't be named on here do it as a profession and don't have sex with their clients. |
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"I mean Dom women not paid dommes."
Many dominant women are canny they very often realise that they are more sought after than male doms and so go straight to paid work. If it is something you enjoy doing and there is a massive market for it why not get paid for it?
That aside there are many swinging Dommes out there, my local club has several that take their subs and play both in dungeon and the club area at least once a month. Quite often you can watch them too which is interesting to see what BDSM is for them. There is a slight problem with that though as because they are obviously into kink they get a lot of domly dom type men who "want to show them how it is done" by assuming they switch and trying to top them or do their best to slag their play off in order to assert their prowess. I've seen several men disturb a scene both physically entering or verbally catcalling in order to "show the woman how it is done" as though women can't do it properly. If you are new to topping in public this can be incredibly demoralising and frustrating and so they keep that play at home or privately.
It seems a fair few people that like to watch dungeon scenes and play in swingers' clubs aren't necessarily aware of dungeon etiquette and so treat the scene as they would watching people fucking with the door open perhaps. Or worse because it may look as though something risky is going on and if they don't know the players and their relationship can assume things are non consensual or just "playing about or having a go" when play lightens up a bit.
I now only do impact or BDSM play at clubs if I either have a spotter at the door if it is open, to kind of take on DM role and keep the casual watchers quiet or approve/deny entry to those they don't feel will be able to respect the play or if I am doing something that requires much more concentration I.e. First ever session together or is more intense like blood play. Other times the door is firmly locked with either a large notice taped to the outside denying entry and explaining why or someone actually sat there to discourage people banging on the door or trying the door handles.
Despite all that doing BDSM play at a swingers club can be immense fun, lots of people have their eyes opened or discover new parts of themselves they may not have before and I always get people watching who are actually fully respectful and want to try little bits of what they saw. |
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