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No respect until they've earned it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you? |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.
Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.
Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide "
I like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting question SH
I don’t believe respect is automatic right based on who you are, ie a parent, manager, spiritual leader etc, it’s something that’s earned over time.
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"
Do you mean trust more than respect?
If your starting point is respecting no-one else unless or until they prove they are worthy of it, you may find yourself living a rather sad and lonely life,
No, it's easy to show respect for other people. We do it all the time. Holding open a door for an elderly person; letting someone go before you in the supermarket queue because they only have 2 items in their basket; giving up your seat on the bus for someone who is more in need of it. etc
Trust, I think, is when you begin to drop your instinctive guard because your faith in the other person is such you believe they will not cause you harm or hurt.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone should be treated equally, and with respect, until they show that they, as an individual, are not worthy of it...
To do less only debases you, not them..
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Yes, you should act respectfully full stop - towards your fellow men, animals, the environment, everything - give them the basic level of respect you would hope they afford you and yours. But aside from that someone can earn my fuller respect and admiration, or lose it, by their behaviour. |
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I give every one the same level of basic respect to start with. It will then go up or down depending on their behaviour to myself and how they treat others. So yes to a degree a person does need to earn my respect but I don't disrespect anyone Until they have earned that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely - respect needs to be earned (I am thinking particularly of employers here)! But I always treat others with the respect I expect myself, until I discover otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I believe that respect should be shown to certain demographics within our society automatically..
Others need to earn it"
Who would need to earn it? Who gets it automatically? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?
Do you mean trust more than respect?
If your starting point is respecting no-one else unless or until they prove they are worthy of it, you may find yourself living a rather sad and lonely life,
No, it's easy to show respect for other people. We do it all the time. Holding open a door for an elderly person; letting someone go before you in the supermarket queue because they only have 2 items in their basket; giving up your seat on the bus for someone who is more in need of it. etc
Trust, I think, is when you begin to drop your instinctive guard because your faith in the other person is such you believe they will not cause you harm or hurt.
"
I don't know- I was chatting last week and someone said they don't respect people until they earn it. I was keeping the question vague because I want all the different angles/ types of answers.
I agree with you about trust. |
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Amusing that most seem to think that others WANT their respect. Not only WANT it but have to EARN it.
People might not want your respect. Especially if you don't exhibit the type of behaviours they respect.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"
I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated. |
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Respect lives within your own self worth.
If you say you don't respect others then there is an underlying reason for that and you are probably not at a sufficient stage of enlightenment to be able to do so. |
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"Always treat people with respect, even at first meeting.
Respect shouldn't be earned or expected. But I can easily loose respect if someone doesn't deserve it."
'Deserve' ....... such a loaded word. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you? I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated. "
You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you? I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated.
You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. "
I don't tend to interact with someone I don't respect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.
Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide "
Exactly this ^^^ Thankfully there is only a handful of people I've lost respect for here. |
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"I don't know- I was chatting last week and someone said they don't respect people until they earn it. I was keeping the question vague because I want all the different angles/ types of answers.
I agree with you about trust. "
I see this debate a lot, I think it's mostly caused by miscommunication.
There are different types of respect you can show someone. The two main ones are, courtesy which most would agree should be given without having to earn, the other is admiration which needs to be earned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you? I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated.
You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. I don't tend to interact with someone I don't respect "
Sometimes you have to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you should be respectful to everyone, but that doesnt always mean you have to respect them."
I agree, I think there's different kinds of respect. I would be respectful to strangers - showing good manners and not letting the door go in their face etc, but respecting someone as a person takes time to get to know them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you? I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated.
You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. I don't tend to interact with someone I don't respect
Sometimes you have to. "
if I'm forced to then I do so with the good grace and manners my parents instilled in me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't know- I was chatting last week and someone said they don't respect people until they earn it. I was keeping the question vague because I want all the different angles/ types of answers.
I agree with you about trust.
I see this debate a lot, I think it's mostly caused by miscommunication.
There are different types of respect you can show someone. The two main ones are, courtesy which most would agree should be given without having to earn, the other is admiration which needs to be earned."
That makes sense, thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have this conversation with the children at work a lot. I think, you should show people respect until they’ve given you a reason not too. Then, they need to earn it. |
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"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........
How would you define/ describe 'respect'?"
Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....
People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Earned....such a loaded word!
If one has to earn respect then is it ok to treat them am with disrespect until it is earned?
Nor really the way I want to live my life or share it with others who think I or they have to pass some imaginary threshold before we treat each other with respect and common humanity... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........
How would you define/ describe 'respect'?
Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....
People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves."
Yeah I should just fuck off. People tell me that a lot. |
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How I define it or use it would be context dependent.
At it's most simple respect is about ME having regard for the rights and needs of others. ( as human beings regardless of whether I like them or their behaviour )
Used more complexly 'respect' from me could be directed NOT at the individual as a person but at their skills or attributes. e.g. I might dislike a person for have high regard for their beliefs and methods. The contra is also possible. |
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"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........
How would you define/ describe 'respect'?
Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....
People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves.
Yeah I should just fuck off. People tell me that a lot. "
Well ...... you can still respect that person as a human being but NOT the way they spoke to you and just feel sorry for them that they are not able to connect.
Do you want me to punch them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........
How would you define/ describe 'respect'?
Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....
People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves.
Yeah I should just fuck off. People tell me that a lot.
Well ...... you can still respect that person as a human being but NOT the way they spoke to you and just feel sorry for them that they are not able to connect.
Do you want me to punch them?"
Thanks but no. If you punch me that would make more people happy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"
I personally find it quite entitled to not respect someone until they’ve earned it.
I give respect to everyone and anyone until they give me a reason to not respect them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm happy to respect people's role and position straight off, and treat everyone with respect.
Not treating others with such respect makes me the tit not them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"
I give respect and courtesy until otherwise destroyed.
I would like to receive courtesy.
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.
Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?
Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?
I give respect and courtesy until otherwise destroyed.
I would like to receive courtesy.
"
Exactly.
If only everyone was the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.
Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide "
Exactly this. Trust is earned, giving everyone respect from the offset is courtesy - until something is done to lose it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think respect is the wrong word for first meeting someone, I dont automatically respect every individual I meet, il treat and talk to them with simple kind manners but to respect them is crazy, most people are idiots and do nothing to earn respect so I aint dishing it out to just anybody. |
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"I think respect is the wrong word for first meeting someone, I dont automatically respect every individual I meet, il treat and talk to them with simple kind manners but to respect them is crazy, most people are idiots and do nothing to earn respect so I aint dishing it out to just anybody."
I get that. This is an excellent demonstration of how people use words differently unless there is a common definition being used.
By ' I respect you' ....... I don't mean ' I look up to you' ...... or ' I admire you' .......... |
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"I don't disrespect them either. Respect does not have to mean that you look up to them - just that you observe their right to have boundaries"
I didn't read your reply before I posted. I agree 100%
respect has been around a lot longer than respeck ! |
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