 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Cruise Ship Diary
DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls
Off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I
Could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano
Bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would
Sink the ship.
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Cruise Ship Diary
DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls
Off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I
Could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano
Bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would
Sink the ship.
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice. "
Having spent seven years on cruise ships myself I laughed out loud! You're not a long way off the mark either.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice. "
If he had sunk the ship I'm sure you'd have gone down with all hands. Either that, or spent two weeks tossing in a lifeboat full of seamen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cruise Ship Diary
DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls
Off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I
Could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano
Bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would
Sink the ship.
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice. "
1600 saved.....my god!!! you are sao selfless  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favourite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma.'
And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cruise Ship Diary
DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls
Off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I
Could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano
Bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would
Sink the ship.
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice.
Having spent seven years on cruise ships myself I laughed out loud! You're not a long way off the mark either. "
Just got back from a cruise - nothing remotely like that happned to me - where am i going wrong?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cruise Ship Diary
DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls
Off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I
Could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano
Bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would
Sink the ship.
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice.
Having spent seven years on cruise ships myself I laughed out loud! You're not a long way off the mark either.
Just got back from a cruise - nothing remotely like that happned to me - where am i going wrong? "
lol...u shoulda been on the SAGA cruise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
