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Sharks in the gene pool
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Black sheep of the family
Is there a reason why just one member of your family turns out a dick? Drug use,booze,thief and just an all round dickhead.
No aspirations at all,no goal in life,no job
My question is why when all members of your family are hard working law abiding good people, is there just one that doesnt fit the mold? |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Black sheep of the family
Is there a reason why just one member of your family turns out a dick? Drug use,booze,thief and just an all round dickhead.
No aspirations at all,no goal in life,no job
My question is why when all members of your family are hard working law abiding good people, is there just one that doesnt fit the mold?"
So you can have the dickhead uncle at the wedding. Otherwise it wouldn’t work. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Black sheep of the family
Is there a reason why just one member of your family turns out a dick? Drug use,booze,thief and just an all round dickhead.
No aspirations at all,no goal in life,no job
My question is why when all members of your family are hard working law abiding good people, is there just one that doesnt fit the mold?
So you can have the dickhead uncle at the wedding. Otherwise it wouldn’t work."
Its a female |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard."
Yep,i can relate to this |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
Yep,i can relate to this "
The last time I spoke to him I think it was when I threw a brick at him. It was about an hour after I found out he’d broken my mums wrist. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
Yep,i can relate to this
The last time I spoke to him I think it was when I threw a brick at him. It was about an hour after I found out he’d broken my mums wrist. "
Really!! your mother  |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
Yep,i can relate to this
The last time I spoke to him I think it was when I threw a brick at him. It was about an hour after I found out he’d broken my mums wrist.
Really!! your mother "
yes. my father had him arrested. I’m a bit angry now so am off for a coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
Yep,i can relate to this
The last time I spoke to him I think it was when I threw a brick at him. It was about an hour after I found out he’d broken my mums wrist.
Really!! your mother yes. my father had him arrested. I’m a bit angry now so am off for a coffee. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a good question and one that puzzles me. My baby sister has been married 4 times. She has 3 children and 4 years ago, she decided to emigrate to Manitoba. She cut off everybody and took my nephews to live in the middle of nowhere. I've heard on the grapevine, she has now returned to the UK, minus her kids and 4th hubby! She met someone on the Internet. I cannot believe we are related, she's a bloody fruitloop and horrible person. |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
Yep,i can relate to this
The last time I spoke to him I think it was when I threw a brick at him. It was about an hour after I found out he’d broken my mums wrist.
Really!! your mother yes. my father had him arrested. I’m a bit angry now so am off for a coffee. "
.
Some folks brains just aren't wired up right  |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard."
I've got a mate who is married with 3 kids, works about 60 hours a week, has a nice house & car and is someone you can rely on to help you out in a crisis. His brother though, is someone like you describe apart from the druggie bit, he's just a scrounging alcoholic who although intelligent and articulate, can't seem to pull his life round no matter how many of us have tried to help him  |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
I've got a mate who is married with 3 kids, works about 60 hours a week, has a nice house & car and is someone you can rely on to help you out in a crisis. His brother though, is someone like you describe apart from the druggie bit, he's just a scrounging alcoholic who although intelligent and articulate, can't seem to pull his life round no matter how many of us have tried to help him "
Unfortunately addicts will only accept help when they admit they have an addiction |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
I've got a mate who is married with 3 kids, works about 60 hours a week, has a nice house & car and is someone you can rely on to help you out in a crisis. His brother though, is someone like you describe apart from the druggie bit, he's just a scrounging alcoholic who although intelligent and articulate, can't seem to pull his life round no matter how many of us have tried to help him
Unfortunately addicts will only accept help when they admit they have an addiction "
I'm a sex addict, can you help me?  |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
I've got a mate who is married with 3 kids, works about 60 hours a week, has a nice house & car and is someone you can rely on to help you out in a crisis. His brother though, is someone like you describe apart from the druggie bit, he's just a scrounging alcoholic who although intelligent and articulate, can't seem to pull his life round no matter how many of us have tried to help him
Unfortunately addicts will only accept help when they admit they have an addiction
I'm a sex addict, can you help me? "
Lol I would’ve done if you were at the attic last night |
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People vary genetically, even if the total gene pool is contained within 2 parents, plus they'll each have very different experiences as they're growing up, helping to shape their personalities etc.
Group dynamics, especially within families, also influence people taking on board traits and roles. They may acquire beliefs about themselves that other family members have helped to establish and consolidate as 'truths'. If you're wanting to look at one member of a family, then you're missing the bigger picture: look at the family.
In relationships it's very typical that someone will fulfill the expectations that others have of them - if people expect someone to behave a certain way, they'll also unconsciously prompt and encourage them to do this, often incredibly successfully. The behaviour of one person within a group cannot be viewed in isolation from the personalities and behaviours of the rest of the group.
A 'black sheep' is often someone who has been at some point the subject of neglect, abuse or insufficient care for them. They are a unique individual and so their needs will be unique to them. If there are several children, there may not quite have been sufficient love or attention to go around, whilst they were growing up: some of the children may have done better at getting their share of it.
It's common for people to project characteristics onto others that they dislike to some extent within themselves. A black sheep may be the unfortunate recipient of projection from some/all of the other members in the family. They may in essence be little difference between any of them but one individual has the existence of something highlighted and potentially exaggerated. The group's perception of this projected fantasy becomes the 'truth'.
Is it better for all people in the family to be the same? Absolutely not, especially if it involves them hiding aspects of themselves, in order to seemingly fit in. It may be that the 'black sheep' becomes the most honest of the group. Though being the opposite of what others conform to, just out of resistance from the pressure to conform, is also not a great freedom, as it's also somewhat of a trap.
It's complex imo and the ideal family structure would support being themselves, as well as not having covert coercion to be a formulation of what the rest of them cannot cope with about themselves etc. |
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My friends brother risk their black sheep. I remember his Dad crying to me when he was sent down for the umpteenth time. He said I don't know where I went wrong, gave him a roof over his head, decent clothes, homelife, holidays and look how he's turned out a Druggie, alcoholic dole bum. In my head I was screaming. His Dad had never worked more than a week in his life and was a bloody thief. Umm have you shown him any better! |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
I've got a mate who is married with 3 kids, works about 60 hours a week, has a nice house & car and is someone you can rely on to help you out in a crisis. His brother though, is someone like you describe apart from the druggie bit, he's just a scrounging alcoholic who although intelligent and articulate, can't seem to pull his life round no matter how many of us have tried to help him
Unfortunately addicts will only accept help when they admit they have an addiction
I'm a sex addict, can you help me?
Lol I would’ve done if you were at the attic last night "
You'll have to let me know next time you go  |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
I've got a mate who is married with 3 kids, works about 60 hours a week, has a nice house & car and is someone you can rely on to help you out in a crisis. His brother though, is someone like you describe apart from the druggie bit, he's just a scrounging alcoholic who although intelligent and articulate, can't seem to pull his life round no matter how many of us have tried to help him
Unfortunately addicts will only accept help when they admit they have an addiction
I'm a sex addict, can you help me?
Lol I would’ve done if you were at the attic last night
You'll have to let me know next time you go "
I will do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Black sheep of the family
Is there a reason why just one member of your family turns out a dick? Drug use,booze,thief and just an all round dickhead.
No aspirations at all,no goal in life,no job
My question is why when all members of your family are hard working law abiding good people, is there just one that doesnt fit the mold?"
My baby brother is the black sheep in our family..
Alcoholic, drug addict, liar, thief, worked about 6 months in his whole life, complete charmer and utter b**tard all roled into one..
At one point in our lives me and my two other siblings had jobs working for HMRC, benefit fraud dept and the police and then there was him nicking bikes and robbing houses to pay for his habit..
We don't keep in touch |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard."
My sister was all these as well. It may sound nasty but I don't miss her at all after her death.
I |
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
My sister was all these as well. It may sound nasty but I don't miss her at all after her death.
I"
I won’t miss him when he goes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, my dickhead of a brother who I haven’t spoken to for 20 years and seen about 4 times. Druggie, thief, liar, lazy bastard.
Yep,i can relate to this
The last time I spoke to him I think it was when I threw a brick at him. It was about an hour after I found out he’d broken my mums wrist.
Really!! your mother yes. my father had him arrested. I’m a bit angry now so am off for a coffee. .
Some folks brains just aren't wired up right "
Correct |
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