FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The problems with disciplining kids nowadays.

The problems with disciplining kids nowadays.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I had an interesting discussion about it, that the difference from back in the days where a parent could get more hands on and now where they cant almost touch them without them reporting it to the authorities, what went wrong through the decades, whats your view?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People started trying to be friends with their children instead of parenting them.

It's not necessary to hit your children to have authority over them.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Children learn from example. Showing them violence is an acceptable way of dealing with a situation isn't exactly good education.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any parent that hits their child is nothing more than bullying scum. No one should ever resort to physical aggression to discipline someone and particularly not when it's a child that is a fraction of your size and you are one of just a few people that child should be able to unconditionally love and trust

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People started trying to be friends with their children instead of parenting them.

It's not necessary to hit your children to have authority over them."

Couldn't agree more.

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By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Jeez. Whatever happened to ‘I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed’? Fuck that hurt more than the clip around the ear or the shoe thrown at me.

I utilise it when it’s needed and it still works. Luckily I have a girl who doesn’t rebel much...yet.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Parenting is extremely difficult, we’ve been trying to do it for thousands of years and still often get it wrong.

Don’t expect the solution to be easy and as the adult you need to have control over your emotions, tricky when the little shits know how to annoy you so well

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By *lceeWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults. "

This. It just results in a fuck-load of therapist bills. If the kid’s lucky.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kids now know the power tbey have especially estate kids parents are left helpless due to the soft nature of what this place is coming to bring back the slipper

I worked out pretty well rounded

Even mention of it now makes you an outcast but i say to those people try living on a rough estate all your life a slipper is the least of there worries

But were all from different backgrounds

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults.

This. It just results in a fuck-load of therapist bills. If the kid’s lucky. "

I got a good few smacks as a kid when I was in the wrong.

No therapist needed here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults.

This. It just results in a fuck-load of therapist bills. If the kid’s lucky.

I got a good few smacks as a kid when I was in the wrong.

No therapist needed here"

You sure ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kids now know the power tbey have especially estate kids parents are left helpless due to the soft nature of what this place is coming to bring back the slipper

I worked out pretty well rounded

Even mention of it now makes you an outcast but i say to those people try living on a rough estate all your life a slipper is the least of there worries

But were all from different backgrounds"

Are you suggesting kids on "rough estates" deserve to be hit? Or need to be hit?

I;m sorry but I'm not sure I'm getting your point?

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

I used to get a whack if I carried on pushing it after I'd already been told firmly numerous times, I haven't become a violent traumatised adult as a result.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to get a whack if I carried on pushing it after I'd already been told firmly numerous times, I haven't become a violent traumatised adult as a result. "

I got smacked a few times by my parents. All I got was good manners

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Honestly I don't see a smack round the back of the legs as a bad thing. You're not holding your child down and beating them. When I was younger if Id been told multiple times to not do something and I kept doing it, a swift slap round the back of the legs put a stop to it sharpish. You're not even meant to shout at kids anymore, you can't reason with an angry child, you're not going to be able to have a discussion with them and get them to stop

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kids now know the power tbey have especially estate kids parents are left helpless due to the soft nature of what this place is coming to bring back the slipper

I worked out pretty well rounded

Even mention of it now makes you an outcast but i say to those people try living on a rough estate all your life a slipper is the least of there worries

But were all from different backgrounds

Are you suggesting kids on "rough estates" deserve to be hit? Or need to be hit?

I;m sorry but I'm not sure I'm getting your point?"

No im saying when some kids step out of line there nobody who can punnish them anymore the estate reference is about my upbringing

And the fact estate kids are more likeley to do things that are worth the punnishment iv mates who are dead or addicts because they were never punnished as kids

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By *oncupiscentTonyMan over a year ago

Kent

All seems very Yorkshire centric, much like Peter Sutcliffe Jimmy Savile and Mick MacCarthy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally think that there are very few consequences for childrens actions these days so it makes discipline quite difficult.

As a child our generation was afraid of the consequences from parents, teachers, police etc. So we kept to the rules.

When a lot of childhood learning comes from cause and effect, if an action has no negative effect there is no incentive not to repeat that action.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I personally think that there are very few consequences for childrens actions these days so it makes discipline quite difficult.

As a child our generation was afraid of the consequences from parents, teachers, police etc. So we kept to the rules.

When a lot of childhood learning comes from cause and effect, if an action has no negative effect there is no incentive not to repeat that action.

Indeed, this is something which has permeated society at all levels, personal responsibility is a thing of the past, having an expectation of such is "judgemental"....

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

You don't have to use violence to discipline your child

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kids now know the power tbey have especially estate kids parents are left helpless due to the soft nature of what this place is coming to bring back the slipper

I worked out pretty well rounded

Even mention of it now makes you an outcast but i say to those people try living on a rough estate all your life a slipper is the least of there worries

But were all from different backgrounds

Are you suggesting kids on "rough estates" deserve to be hit? Or need to be hit?

I;m sorry but I'm not sure I'm getting your point?

No im saying when some kids step out of line there nobody who can punnish them anymore the estate reference is about my upbringing

And the fact estate kids are more likeley to do things that are worth the punnishment iv mates who are dead or addicts because they were never punnished as kids"

Do you honestly believe not being hit by their parents is what leads people in to a life addiction?

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Consequences....

Too many parents don't parent.

They rely on "the policeman will tell you off/take you away"

"The lady will tell you off"

Tell your own fucking kids off, stop threatening them with things you have no intention if following through with.

Stop giving in after you've said no 15 times and then say ok then on the 16th. All you're teaching them is if they nag long enough you'll give in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately when you become a parent you dont get the instruction manual to go with it on what to do when discipline is required society is ever changing from back in the day till present and as a parent like your child you adjust to it what was acceptable back then lands you in court now you can only set a good example so your child will follow your lead but the friends and the company they fall into influences them as well if they have learnt right from wrong only they can apply it when required if they want when a child/youth does wrong you then come under the heading I blame the parents even if your not guilty your guilty so the end result is your always going to be between a rock and a hard place as a parent even though you know you have done your best society will will always throw you a challenge so you just have to take the good with the bad and rough with the smooth as a child/youth can use the law against you as a parent has that same right but then are you admitting you have failed as a parent by doing so when all said and done its always going to be a no win situation when things go wrong

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's okay to hit a child, is it okay for a man to give his wife or girlfriend a good slap to keep her in her place?

And anyone that has advocated hitting a child, your answers to that question and why hitting your child is different, well I'd love to hear them

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It’s not a ‘no win’ situation when things go wrong if you learn from your mistakes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

I rarely have to tell my son off and he's 15, we discuss things, we discuss how he has disappointed me and we usually take away things such as money, phone, xbox and Internet access if he deserves punishment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad"

That one farse is enough to tell you were we are going wrong!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kids now know the power tbey have especially estate kids parents are left helpless due to the soft nature of what this place is coming to bring back the slipper

I worked out pretty well rounded

Even mention of it now makes you an outcast but i say to those people try living on a rough estate all your life a slipper is the least of there worries

But were all from different backgrounds

Are you suggesting kids on "rough estates" deserve to be hit? Or need to be hit?

I;m sorry but I'm not sure I'm getting your point?

No im saying when some kids step out of line there nobody who can punnish them anymore the estate reference is about my upbringing

And the fact estate kids are more likeley to do things that are worth the punnishment iv mates who are dead or addicts because they were never punnished as kids

Do you honestly believe not being hit by their parents is what leads people in to a life addiction?"

I would suggest the opposite is a more probable cause.

Some people need to realise effective punishment doesn’t mean lashing out.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

My mother used "physical discipline" when I was a child. I moved out very soon after my 16th birthday.

Now with my kids I use a punishment that is much, much worse.

I change the wifi password and take away the cables to their PCs and game consoles.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

This is exactly how I was brought up although as a large family many moons ago we didn't have any luxuries to be removed so we got grounded instead, which I hated. For a large family who were for the majority well behaved it worked.

I then carried it on with my own and they turned out well

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

What about when the child reacts violently towards the parent as a result of having these things taken away? I'm not saying yours would do that but some kids are just nasty despite growing up in a good family.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

A lack of boundaries, inconsistency between adults in raising children, a lack of parenting skills, not being around for your children enough, and many other things I’m sure. I wasn’t struck as a child and my children haven’t been. There is no need to be physical to ensure that children have good behaviour, are respectful and polite, in my experience.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man over a year ago

Bristol

"Any parent that hits their child is nothing more than bullying scum. No one should ever resort to physical aggression to discipline someone and particularly not when it's a child that is a fraction of your size and you are one of just a few people that child should be able to unconditionally love and trust"

I can't disagree, but it really is not that simple, social workers often shout and scream about this, but many don't have children, kids can push you to breaking point,it has been the most difficult job I have ever had..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

I;d guess that the vast majority of children who would hot out at an adult in that situation are children who have grown up in an environmemnt where physical retribution is seen as the norm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

I;d guess that the vast majority of children who would hot out at an adult in that situation are children who have grown up in an environmemnt where physical retribution is seen as the norm"

Or they see there friends do it and think its ok to do the same

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

Teenagers are different to kids though as they have the ability to reason and listen, a child throwing a tantrum is not reasonable

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

I;d guess that the vast majority of children who would hot out at an adult in that situation are children who have grown up in an environmemnt where physical retribution is seen as the norm"

Not really, my sister's best friend at school had a great childhood, she had wealthy loving parents who left her wanting for nothing but it didn't stop her beating her mum up as a teenager when she started going off the rails with the company she started keeping at secondary school.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults.

This. It just results in a fuck-load of therapist bills. If the kid’s lucky.

I got a good few smacks as a kid when I was in the wrong.

No therapist needed here"

Me too...there’s a difference between discipline and abuse.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults. "

This..

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By *lbert_shlossedMan over a year ago

Manchester

I don't think there's one way that's better than another, all children are different and respond differently to different techniques and rewards.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with a well timed slap at the right moment or a well timed word and facial expression.

The best person to know the child is the parent and so I'd rather not meddle in the parent/child relationship to much but alas also some parents are knob heads just like some children.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kids now know the power tbey have especially estate kids parents are left helpless due to the soft nature of what this place is coming to bring back the slipper

I worked out pretty well rounded

Even mention of it now makes you an outcast but i say to those people try living on a rough estate all your life a slipper is the least of there worries

But were all from different backgrounds

Are you suggesting kids on "rough estates" deserve to be hit? Or need to be hit?

I;m sorry but I'm not sure I'm getting your point?

No im saying when some kids step out of line there nobody who can punnish them anymore the estate reference is about my upbringing

And the fact estate kids are more likeley to do things that are worth the punnishment iv mates who are dead or addicts because they were never punnished as kids"

And middle class or upper class children don't become addicts?

I'm from a council estate and there are addicts here who had very strict parents. Where is the correlation between parenting and addiction?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst I believe corporal punishment is fucking thick as shit, i DO sometimes have a real urge to just full on punt a baby.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got smacked and slapped as ‘discipline’ when I was a child. It didn’t harm me, but I think there were MUCH better ways to deal with my trivial transgressions. I’m really proud of the way my kids behave generally. They rarely need disciplining, and certainly not by getting handsy. Taking the piss is often a very effective tool. I love it when the angry frown turns to a smile as they start to laugh at themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

esther rantzen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well you get kids running around with knives now a days I do not feel safe sometimes. Hell when I go into the shopping centre you get little 12 year olds screwing there faces at you! Worst thing is they probaly have a knife or acid on them!

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By *xtrafun4youMan over a year ago

Dunstable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

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By *ara JTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol East

"People realised that causing pain to kids doesn’t make them good adults. "

this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And while we’re at it...

Those people who whinge about kids crying in shops and supermarkets..,

That’s us non-handsy parents teaching our little wonders that they don’t get what they want by making a great big fuss. Lessons that help them learn self restraint later on.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had to carry a screaming child out of a public place to the sound of tutting grandparents who don’t understand modern parenting but DO like to judge.

I’m going away to a dark corner to calm down now..

Support us not judge us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating"

I completely understand both. I just don’t think either teaches a child much about mastering one’s own behaviour...Yours as a parent or theirs as an adult in the making.

Where’s that corner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating"

So how hard a smack is too hard a smack?

Where do you draw the line?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating"

It’s not the same but it in some circumstances it can lead to more.

What happens when the smack on the legs doesn’t work? Smack harder, start punching?

There are more effective methods that take time to manage, smacking is a quick fix.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating"

It isn’t the same but if someone I was disagreeing with took me by the arm and then slapped me on the legs I think I would feel pretty upset, humiliated, shocked, violated and resentful. It may in turn make me want to poke that person in the eye with a sharp stick (silly expression). That would be spontaneous retaliation, if I wasn’t too shocked to do anything. You have no way of knowing how it will affect someone. For one person it may not mean a thing but for the next it can be the start of unpleasant feelings, hurt, lack of trust and fears. It’s a risk you take as a adult imposing a punishment on a child.

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

It’s not the same but it in some circumstances it can lead to more.

What happens when the smack on the legs doesn’t work? Smack harder, start punching?

There are more effective methods that take time to manage, smacking is a quick fix."

What are these methods though? And what consequence is there for the child if they just ignore these methods?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

So how hard a smack is too hard a smack?

Where do you draw the line?"

I don't know, is there a scale from 1-10 or something? How does someone describe a smack?

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By *_Yeah19Couple over a year ago

Lincoln

From my experience, a lot of it is parents not willing to say no and mean it. So either just giving them everything they want for an easy life, which then turns out to be a million times harder in the long run.

Or saying no but there being no consequences if it’s not followed, so the shouting/telling becomes background noise that they can easily ignore as nothing happens anyway.

There obv a lot more to it, is a huge multi-faceted issue but these are things that jump out at me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From my experience, a lot of it is parents not willing to say no and mean it. So either just giving them everything they want for an easy life, which then turns out to be a million times harder in the long run.

Or saying no but there being no consequences if it’s not followed, so the shouting/telling becomes background noise that they can easily ignore as nothing happens anyway.

There obv a lot more to it, is a huge multi-faceted issue but these are things that jump out at me.

TB"

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

It’s not the same but it in some circumstances it can lead to more.

What happens when the smack on the legs doesn’t work? Smack harder, start punching?

There are more effective methods that take time to manage, smacking is a quick fix."

I'm not saying smacking is the only punishment. There is lots of other methods.

My argument is, myself and almost everyone I know my age or older was smacked at some point in their childhood and it didn't do any harm

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

When an adult loses their temper with a child and resorts to slapping them they show the child that they have lost control of the situation.

If kids value their phones, laptops, pcs, then use them as punishment. Put set rules in place. Kids should know the boundaries and parents need to stand by them too. If they don't do as they are told, then dont allow them to use their favourite things for a set time. Parents have to stick to their guns and apply punishments at the time even it it's in public. No point at the end of the day or the next as kids have already forgotten about it.

If your kids shout they hate you, tell them you love them. Don't give in just because it's easier as that shows them stropping gets them what they want.

If they are throwing a tantrum ignore them but make sure they are not harming themselves or others. If they're not getting your attention they learn quickly it doesn't work and soon stop.

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By *rs mischiefWoman over a year ago

Manchester

"People started trying to be friends with their children instead of parenting them.

It's not necessary to hit your children to have authority over them."

This is so true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

It’s not the same but it in some circumstances it can lead to more.

What happens when the smack on the legs doesn’t work? Smack harder, start punching?

There are more effective methods that take time to manage, smacking is a quick fix.

What are these methods though? And what consequence is there for the child if they just ignore these methods?"

I could tell you, but as with every other post I’ve made on here, it would be ignored. Perhaps I should smack you round the head to make you listen?

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

It’s not the same but it in some circumstances it can lead to more.

What happens when the smack on the legs doesn’t work? Smack harder, start punching?

There are more effective methods that take time to manage, smacking is a quick fix.

What are these methods though? And what consequence is there for the child if they just ignore these methods?

I could tell you, but as with every other post I’ve made on here, it would be ignored. Perhaps I should smack you round the head to make you listen?

In the army if you mess up your weapon handling drills on the firing ranges the range staff will boot you in the head before physically dragging you off the firing point and screaming at you, trust me you only do it once!

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

It’s not the same but it in some circumstances it can lead to more.

What happens when the smack on the legs doesn’t work? Smack harder, start punching?

There are more effective methods that take time to manage, smacking is a quick fix.

What are these methods though? And what consequence is there for the child if they just ignore these methods?

I could tell you, but as with every other post I’ve made on here, it would be ignored. Perhaps I should smack you round the head to make you listen?

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By *ir_anthonyMan over a year ago

kenilworth

When my daughter was 3 we sat her down and told her that she was adopted from an orphanage in the Sudan one of the poorest countries in the world where people live with no toys no tv and a lot are starving to death

Every time she misbehaved we would pretend to phone the orphanage about sending her back

She soon learnt to behave well and be polite

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Effective smacking is counter intiuative in the sense that if you do it correctly then you'll very rarely need to do it. Essentially the child just needs to know that you are serious when you tell them to change behaviour.

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Effective smacking is counter intiuative in the sense that if you do it correctly then you'll very rarely need to do it. Essentially the child just needs to know that you are serious when you tell them to change behaviour.

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults. "

Because these are the only two options available...

I totally agree that having a reasoned debate with a tantruming three year old is bonkers, but smacking them on the legs is not your only alternative.

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By *lanPartridgeMan over a year ago

nottingham

Why aren't parents even addressing their kids' behaviour in any way? They're just allowed to scream for half an hour with no inquiry. You can see this all over the place. Maybe the kid's been stung? These sub-parents would never know.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Because these are the only two options available...

I totally agree that having a reasoned debate with a tantruming three year old is bonkers, but smacking them on the legs is not your only alternative. "

Some softer methods will work on kids with milder personalities. I would start with those but ultimately a smack needs to be a last resort.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why aren't parents even addressing their kids' behaviour in any way? They're just allowed to scream for half an hour with no inquiry. You can see this all over the place. Maybe the kid's been stung? These sub-parents would never know.

Or the child had been told firmly it’s not getting its own way and they are being actively ignored so that they learn that shouting your little head off doesn’t get you what you want. Try stealing one of these screamers. My money would be on you being noticed VERY quickly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults. "

Have you not watched Supernanny ?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Have you not watched Supernanny ?"

I have, have you read about the experiences of supernannies who try and apply their own methods to their own children? Spoiler alter, it doesn't go as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I obviously don't agree with beating children but I was smacked occasionally and I don't think it did me any harm.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I obviously don't agree with beating children but I was smacked occasionally and I don't think it did me any harm."

*twitches*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Have you not watched Supernanny ?

I have, have you read about the experiences of supernannies who try and apply their own methods to their own children? Spoiler alter, it doesn't go as well. "

They need to get the Megananny in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

The Triple P - Positive Parenting Program is a great way to help discipline kids, and the methods will work with kids who have conditions like Autism, ADHD etc. Lots of small changes result in big improvements just need a bit of patience.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

I think you can let your child know you are serious about their behaviour and expect them to change their behaviour without resorting to a physical act against them. I’m totally unclear what positive message you send to a child when you hit them. I understand teaching them consequences for actions ... you misbehave and there is a consequence but I wouldn’t resort to a physical act as an adult towards another adult so why is that the correct course of action for a child? What is it that you’re trying to teach them?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits""

I think you must have been boxed around the ears a LOT as a child. It clearly affected your ability to listen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

I think you must have been boxed around the ears a LOT as a child. It clearly affected your ability to listen."

No I wasn't actually. A few smacks and I certainly learnt my lesson. My ability to listen??!!! To what ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

I think you must have been boxed around the ears a LOT as a child. It clearly affected your ability to listen.

No I wasn't actually. A few smacks and I certainly learnt my lesson. My ability to listen??!!! To what ?"

Anyone else’s opinion.

Just because something happened to you and there was, in your eyes, a positive outcome, does not mean that it’s the only way to get a similar outcome that doesn’t involve hitting. I was smacked as a child. It was crap. There were other methods that would have a more positive effect, helped me manage myself better and given me more respect for my parents.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And in my experience the ‘little shits’ are the children whose parents are the first ones to resort to shouting and hitting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults. "

So what happens when smacking their hands doesn’t work anymore, they get bigger and start smacking back? Do you move onto other parts that don’t leave / show marks or just smack the hands harder until compliance?

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends."

Roxi,

They clearly aren’t listening. I think we should take their Fab access away for a week and make them read Positive Parenting books. There will be a quiz at the end of the week and practical tests before they get their access back.

So much more effort than tanning them all on their backsides with a slipper.

#goodparentingishardwork

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/18 16:04:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I didn't mention anyone in particular. I read all the opinions.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

That discipline and inflicting pain upon a child to force them to change their behaviour are two entirely different things.

One is an excellent way to guide and empower children, the other one is abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends.

Roxi,

So much more effort than tanning them all on their backsides with a slipper.

#goodparentingishardwork

Well if its in a book it must be right.

#Imagreatparentandprobablyhadit harderthanmostofyou.

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By *tirluvMan over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

I've had to resort to psychological warefare -nothing greater than seeing their hopes, aspirations and dreams swirling in an ocean of utter hopeless despair

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

Teenagers are different to kids though as they have the ability to reason and listen, a child throwing a tantrum is not reasonable"

Throwing a tantrum is a child utterly unable to process a situation or an emotion, their brains are simply not developed enough to understand why they can’t walk in the road or eat a bar of hocolaye before tea.

Teenage brains are not able to process reason very well either, they may look like adults but they are the two year old minus the tantrum. The last thing us humans fully understand is consequence, that happens around the age of 21 when the brain stops developing.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends."

If you're snacking correctly (e.g. not in a fit of rage and explaining clearly what they have done wrong) and it works on that child, then you will have given your last smack long before they are teenagers. If it doesn't change their behaviour, don't do it and try something else. But to pretend that no kids ever need a smack is out of touch with reality in my opinion.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"And in my experience the ‘little shits’ are the children whose parents are the first ones to resort to shouting and hitting. "

Because those are two extremes that can both produce little shits. Parents who are scared to discipline and parents who go straight for the nuclear opinion out of laziness and or incompetence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends.

My parents never felt a need to smack any of us. 6 of us-no smacks.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits""

Generations go from one extreme to the other sadly. There's problems at both ends of the extreme.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits""

Or maybe we have second generation “little shits” ... your term not mine, because of the way they have been disciplined?

I have never resorted to a physical act and I can assure you that my children are not “little shits”. What an awful term to use in regards to children.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends.

My parents never felt a need to smack any of us. 6 of us-no smacks. "

Good, they never had to resort to it. I absolutely needed a smack at times when i was younger, there's nothing you could have said to me that would have worked and frankly I'll get off the naughty step the second you look away mutherfucker

I'm very grateful they did it (now) as i could have seriously gone off the rails and many people I grew up with did.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends.

My parents never felt a need to smack any of us. 6 of us-no smacks.

I'm very grateful they did it (now) as i could have seriously gone off the rails and many people I grew up with did. "

You don’t know that having a smack stopped you going off the rails though do you? You can’t possibly know what could have happened.

Someone could say just as easily that they remember being struck as a child and because of that they grew up with anger issues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

Or maybe we have second generation “little shits” ... your term not mine, because of the way they have been disciplined?

I have never resorted to a physical act and I can assure you that my children are not “little shits”. What an awful term to use in regards to children. "

Oh come on. Firstly I never said your kids were and secondly- do you not see what's going on in this country with 'the darling little kids " is that a better term!!??

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By *ensualtouch15Man over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

What went wrong ? Too many nasty humans enjoyed beating their children

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

I'm very grateful they did it (now) as i could have seriously gone off the rails and many people I grew up with did.

You don’t know that having a smack stopped you going off the rails though do you? You can’t possibly know what could have happened.

Someone could say just as easily that they remember being struck as a child and because of that they grew up with anger issues. "

Correlation is not causation, absolutely. I do so happen in my face to face world of people I know, all the parents who don't smack have little shits and all the ones who do smack don't. I certainly do not dispute that there are lazy and or incompetent parents who smack too much and use it ineffectively and therefore have little shits too. It's just that I wouldn't associate with that kind of person and hence I don't know them in my own circle.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

What went wrong ? Too many nasty humans enjoyed beating their children "

It would seem so, people who went to school when it had the cane always say that every school had at least one teacher who seemed to get some pleasure using it. So now we've gone to the other extreme so we can have a different set of problems.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Xbox PS4 you tubers are the only ones they follow now.

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By *astie10Man over a year ago

Guildford

teenagers not throwing there teddys out of the cot lol do me a faver have teenages and see the tntrums just get louder

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By *uckymooMan over a year ago

Mid-Cheshire

Everything comes down to respect.

Disappointing and upsetting my folks was worse than any chastising or physical punishment. Why because I was lucky to have a great mum and dad who had morals, did everything for their kids and anyone who need help. They are still like that now.

Sadly somw parents nowadays don't have any morals and are only interested in themselves. This equates to no respect, no consequences.

So I do blame the parents full stop.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

Or maybe we have second generation “little shits” ... your term not mine, because of the way they have been disciplined?

I have never resorted to a physical act and I can assure you that my children are not “little shits”. What an awful term to use in regards to children.

Oh come on. Firstly I never said your kids were and secondly- do you not see what's going on in this country with 'the darling little kids " is that a better term!!??"

No need to be flippant and rude. Every other poster these days seem to resort to that. It’s so tiresome.

I just don’t think it’s a unpleasant way to refer to children but you do as you wish, I’m not your keeper.

No you didn’t say mine were, absolutely correct and I don’t believe I accused you of saying so. I merely responded to what you said and my response is that I have never felt a need to resort to a physical act and my children are fantastic human beings. Hitting doesn’t equate to well behaved, a popular misconception by those that wish to inflict hurt on those they are supposed to love, to justify it.

Anyway.., I hate tit for tat on here. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind I’m merely putting a view across as everyone is entitled to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

Or maybe we have second generation “little shits” ... your term not mine, because of the way they have been disciplined?

I have never resorted to a physical act and I can assure you that my children are not “little shits”. What an awful term to use in regards to children.

Oh come on. Firstly I never said your kids were and secondly- do you not see what's going on in this country with 'the darling little kids " is that a better term!!??

No need to be flippant and rude. Every other poster these days seem to resort to that. It’s so tiresome.

I just don’t think it’s a unpleasant way to refer to children but you do as you wish, I’m not your keeper.

Anyway.., I hate tit for tat on here. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind I’m merely putting a view across as everyone is entitled to

I was def not flippant and certainly not rude !!

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Sorry but by reading a lot of people's comments , it's not surprising that we have 2nd generation "little shits"

Or maybe we have second generation “little shits” ... your term not mine, because of the way they have been disciplined?

I have never resorted to a physical act and I can assure you that my children are not “little shits”. What an awful term to use in regards to children.

Oh come on. Firstly I never said your kids were and secondly- do you not see what's going on in this country with 'the darling little kids " is that a better term!!??

No need to be flippant and rude. Every other poster these days seem to resort to that. It’s so tiresome.

I just don’t think it’s a unpleasant way to refer to children but you do as you wish, I’m not your keeper.

Anyway.., I hate tit for tat on here. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind I’m merely putting a view across as everyone is entitled to

I was def not flippant and certainly not rude !!"

That’s ok then??!!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Everything comes down to respect.

I would say that by the time I was 10 or 11, I was way more scared of parental disapproval than anything else. But i only got to that place because i was a smacked when i was younger. I got suspended from school on multiple occasions. The 'punishment' was to stay at home! (How the fuck is that a punishment). I never feared any teachers because that was the worst they could do, but telling my parents that I got suspended scared the shit out of me.

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By *lbert_shlossedMan over a year ago

Manchester

The Smackingo of children has certainly gone down over a hundred years, and adult behaviour has certainly worsened, I'm not sure there's a link but it probably shows that smacking children doesn't cause bad adults otherwise we'd see the opposite effect?.

I cannot believe for a minute that any right minded parent who's spent tens of thousands of pounds of they're hard earned money and thousands of hours of they're leisure time into raising they're children would be smacking them for "fun", therefore I think there doing what they believe is right at the right circumstances.

I'm sure there are abusive parents who over step the mark but that is already delt with by the law.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just changed days. My dad was strict to a fault. Got smacked more times than I can remember and could blow his top in a spilt second. All my friends parents and uncles were like that tho. It's just the way it was. Now if I discipline my kids I get the look like I'm too hard on them. Changed days right enuf x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Parents don’t like to take responsibility for their children’s actions. I know a few parents who would rather diagnose their child with autism, ADHD or something similar rather than address their behavior. Growing up, a women who lived around the corner from me took her son to twelve specialists, hoping they would diagnose him with autism. They didn’t. He’s 14 now and his parents still tell everyone he has autism, and take him to autism camps. Pisses me off because my brother is autistic, and she’ll message my mum saying they they’re ‘in it together’ and she’s ‘always there if you need [her]’.

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've lived in quite a few countries, and to be brutally honest, British kids are probably the worst behaved I've ever come across, closely followed by Russian kids.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Parents don’t like to take responsibility for their children’s actions. I know a few parents who would rather diagnose their child with autism, ADHD or something similar rather than address their behavior. Growing up, a women who lived around the corner from me took her son to twelve specialists, hoping they would diagnose him with autism. They didn’t. He’s 14 now and his parents still tell everyone he has autism, and take him to autism camps. Pisses me off because my brother is autistic, and she’ll message my mum saying they they’re ‘in it together’ and she’s ‘always there if you need [her]’.

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions. "

There is something of a trend whereby people want solutions to complex problems to come in pill form!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I've lived in quite a few countries, and to be brutally honest, British kids are probably the worst behaved I've ever come across, closely followed by Russian kids.

If you think the kids are bad, wait until you get to know some British adults

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

There is something of a trend whereby people want solutions to complex problems to come in pill form!"

Yep! It’s awful. I adore working with children but it can be so frustrating when parents just will not discipline their children. There’s one parent who is fantastic at disciplining his child - he gives him a book to read, takes away all his gadgets (iPad, Xbox etc) and once he’s read the book, he’s to write a book report on it. And it’s never an interesting book he gets

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By *W ChapMan over a year ago

Swindon

I got a good few smacks as a kid when I was in the wrong.

No therapist needed here"

This, this and more this. My kids had a few taps and they've turned into good human beings...there's a line between a tap and violence. Time will tell if the hands off approach will make it safer to walk the streets.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got a good few smacks as a kid when I was in the wrong.

No therapist needed here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A child's brains are not developed enough to have a reasoned debate, which is one of the many obvious reasons why smacking children is ok but smacking your wife isn't.

Smacking the hands works fine and won't leave the child with any marks or trauma. Parents who raise their kids to be their friends generally create little shits who are unsuccessful as adults.

Set boundaries, rules and carry out threats to remove privileges when these are broken.

Just because a person doesn’t resort to smacking doesn’t mean they’re raising their kids as friends.

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

I'd be genuinely interested what you think the repercussions are for someone who was smacked but never by an enraged parent who had lost their shit, just a form of punishment that was always deserved. I can't think of any. I also can't remember actually being smacked. I know i was and I remember being scared that I could be smacked if i did something wrong, but i don't recall any specific instances clearly.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions. "

I have a friend who is a TA at her local school and she was telling me last year about the amount of parents who blame their child's behaviour on ADD or ADHD so their is nothing they can do about it, their child has a medical condition. When the teachers ask for the diagnosis from the doctor so they can sort out a SEN Statement etc then the true story comes out. Never seen a doctor, they heard about these conditions and it sounds just like little Johnny so he must have it

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did."

I've done threads on this subject on fab to hear peoples experiences. Whilst i believe there are kids with ADHD, I believe more than half are bullshit diagnosis.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did.

I've done threads on this subject on fab to hear peoples experiences. Whilst i believe there are kids with ADHD, I believe more than half are bullshit diagnosis. "

I honestly think you ate being generous with that guesstimate. A child fed shit food, entertained by a TV or games console and getting insufficient rest doesn't have ADHD, it's just fucking bored and got no way of expanding it's energy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Discipline doesn't require physical assualt, good communication and understanding gets better results. A good hug and sit down chat should get to the root of the bad behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I personally think that there are very few consequences for childrens actions these days so it makes discipline quite difficult.

As a child our generation was afraid of the consequences from parents, teachers, police etc. So we kept to the rules.

When a lot of childhood learning comes from cause and effect, if an action has no negative effect there is no incentive not to repeat that action.

Totally agree, especially when they turn around and say I'm going to phone child line, when my son said that I gave him the phone and said go on then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did."

It’s a nightmare. I work in an ASN school and I’d say that 70% of children don’t have any additional/special needs. Parents are always ‘getting him tested for...’ and nothing ever comes back. It’s a nightmare trying to control behaviour when they just shout ‘it’s because I have problems!’

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did.

I've done threads on this subject on fab to hear peoples experiences. Whilst i believe there are kids with ADHD, I believe more than half are bullshit diagnosis.

The question I always ask is "does your child like video games?" (most ADHD diagnosis are boys). If they come back with "oh yes, Johnny plays those bloody things for hours" then it's clear Johnny doesn't have a deficit of attention. He just doesn't want to focus on the things they want him to.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

It's quite interesting....

I'm the child of one parent who was beaten (belt, slipper at home, cane and shoe at school) as a child and one who wasnt.

The one who was beaten considers it to have directly affected his behaviour in a negative way, and is actually quite scarred by it, although he won't admit it sober. He ran away from home at 14, and had other periods of "off the rails" as a younger man, drinking, fighting. If you were to ask him, he'd say his upbringing made him violent.

He never hit either myself or my brother as a kid. I've known him kick off with other people for hitting their kids though...

Oh, and my parents were both from a rough place (Salford).

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did.

I have mild dyslexia. I was diagnosed age 13, I had to do a test. I asked what the consequence of getting a bad mark on the test was. "Oh you get extra time to complete exams". So what if i get a good mark? "Well nothing changes really". I took that test the way England played Belgium when they realised that losing meant avoiding all the good teams until the final

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

Maybe repercussion isn’t the correct word, as in leading to something else when the smacking becomes ineffective. IE. A harder punishment like punching, using a belt / tool to keep someone under control.

Happens in cases of DV as well as child abuse, the perpetrator doesn’t necessarily go from nought to 100 on the hitting scale, it builds up over a period of time.

I’m not saying the above happens in all circumstances but for all those it doesn’t have any lasting effects there an awful lot of people out there that it has / still having.

I remember being smacked, it was either delivered at the time by my mum or if she felt it needed more my Dad had the duty when he got home from work. Didn’t particularly affect me as it was a rare occurance, can’t say the same for some friends though.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

Happens in cases of DV as well as child abuse, the perpetrator doesn’t necessarily go from nought to 100 on the hitting scale, it builds up over a period of time.

I’m not saying the above happens in all circumstances but for all those it doesn’t have any lasting effects there an awful lot of people out there that it has / still having.

I've never observed any correlation between how hard the smack is to the hands and the child's reaction (not that I've tried a scientific experiment or anything) but i think that it's the process of them having to acknowledge they've done something wrong and then hold out their hand to get it smacked that hits the reset button on whatever bad behaviour pattern they were in. The smack itself doesn't require much force at all, about the same effort you'd put into swatting a fly where power isn't the goal. Frankly, If that doesn't work then i see no reason why escalating the pain would.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

Happens in cases of DV as well as child abuse, the perpetrator doesn’t necessarily go from nought to 100 on the hitting scale, it builds up over a period of time.

I’m not saying the above happens in all circumstances but for all those it doesn’t have any lasting effects there an awful lot of people out there that it has / still having.

This was my experience

. I don't actually remember being smacked as a kid, I remember the time I got hit by a wooden chair leg (about 3inch squared, I still picture it vividly), I remember the time I thought i was going to die at his hands. It didn't start with that shit though, and I can remember less vicious attacks albeit less clearly. Ironically I was an incredibly quiet and reserved kid because I was so fearful of being hit for the slightest thing. So yeah I guess to have normalised that shit it started off way more subtle.

Oh and to whoever posted the vile story of telling their 3 year old that they were adopted and making fake calls to return them to their orphanage, I'd have taken beatings like that every day over the times I was driven to the countryside and threatened with being abandoned. That's just pure fucking evil.

If you think that smacking your kids is the only way to discipline then don't have kids. As others have said there are other methos, but they take time and patience unlike the instant win of a physical assault. Surely your own child is worth that investment of time?

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By *lanPartridgeMan over a year ago

nottingham

Or the parent wouldn't even notice as the kid's ALWAYS screaming, and they take little interest in them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

There is something of a trend whereby people want solutions to complex problems to come in pill form!

That's a brilliant idea!

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By *omaMan over a year ago

Glasgow

It makes me wonder how every other previous generation managed before this all this 'Don't cause pain ' Shit came along . . .

I was slapped around the ear, caned at school, even a swift kick up the butt by local police . . And now I can genuinely say, I deserved it all . .

No one condones giving a thrashing or put in hospital but come on . .

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

Parents are also very good at blaming other children for their child’s actions.

Out of almost 100 children whose parents informed the school that their child had SEN less than 10% actually did.

I've done threads on this subject on fab to hear peoples experiences. Whilst i believe there are kids with ADHD, I believe more than half are bullshit diagnosis.

Some kids with a high level of inattentiveness can play on games and if they are high scoring for impulsivity as well you'll find they can be hyperfocused on a task or they may change games a lot instead of sticking to just one game and the varity of game changes as well. One minute they could be playing a war-game, next minute they change to something like Farming Simulator. Playing games can release a dopamine surge which help kids focus and can help a child control their hyperactivity too. That's why QB tests are proving invaluable in helping gain a diagnosis of ADHD as well as ruling it out. We saw a change when my son started taking methylphenyldate once he was diagnosed with ADHD and now he spends more time doing his art at home as he doesn't need the stimulation console games provide as much as before. He finds it hard to be on a console for more than an hour at a time now. He's very active, does lots of sport as it helps keep him focused and is doing PE as a GCSE.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

This was my experience

It's not the only way, it's the best last resort to have. You're essentially arguing a strawman I'm afraid. Nobody is advocating domestic violence, smacking exists between two extremes. You were a victim of one extreme and seem to have gone to the other. I see that you said it can escalate, but in most cases it doesn't. Nobody is defending the escalation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This was my experience

Id stress non of this was gratuitous. Ask him an he'd say it was all justified to discipline me and keep me in check. And i doubt mine was the extreme. If you grade hitting a child on a scale of 1 to 100 with then I'd honestly say what I experienced was probably not even close to 100.

So that gentle smack at 1. Where do you draw the line as to what is and isn't acceptable?

You've acknowledged that what I experienced was bit okay. You think a smack is. So where do you draw the line?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

Happens in cases of DV as well as child abuse, the perpetrator doesn’t necessarily go from nought to 100 on the hitting scale, it builds up over a period of time.

I’m not saying the above happens in all circumstances but for all those it doesn’t have any lasting effects there an awful lot of people out there that it has / still having.

Okay in the almost clinical way you’ve described smacking there would be no need to escalate the pain further if the 1st light tap worked job done, of it wasn’t effective then try and alternative form.

But in general I don’t believe, in my experience with children, that the person delivering the smack is usually in that rational state of mind and this is where the problems as I see it lie with smacking.

It’s a massive grey area of when it’s effective to use and the scale of the force on a scale of 1-10.

I don’t believe it is the most effective way of discipline or teaching a child what is right or wrong.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

This was my experience

So that gentle smack at 1. Where do you draw the line as to what is and isn't acceptable?

You've acknowledged that what I experienced was bit okay. You think a smack is. So where do you draw the line?"

As i said above, if a smack on the hands doesn't work then i don't see why smacking anywhere else or smacking harder would. So essentially i draw the line at a smack on a part of the body that isn't easily damaged (e.g. not the head or torso). I also stress that it's not the power of the smack that makes it effective either so I see no benefit to using more than a very low force. So if a gentle smack is 1 then i draw the line at 1 or 2 on your scale.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

Happens in cases of DV as well as child abuse, the perpetrator doesn’t necessarily go from nought to 100 on the hitting scale, it builds up over a period of time.

I’m not saying the above happens in all circumstances but for all those it doesn’t have any lasting effects there an awful lot of people out there that it has / still having.

It’s a massive grey area of when it’s effective to use and the scale of the force on a scale of 1-10.

I don’t believe it is the most effective way of discipline or teaching a child what is right or wrong.

Clinical is a good word, it has to be done almost clinically to be effective. We totally agree that a parent losing their temper and smacking in a state of anger isn't going to achieve the desired result. It's also not just child does something bad - smack. That's wrong too. You have to explain what the child did wrong, explain that punishment is necessary because they had warnings and ignored them first.

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

The main reason we have so much crime these days is children do not understand discipline, parents want to be their children’s friends rather than their parents.

Corporal punishment does not scar children for life as many seem to think, unjust punishment does. I.E. punishing children because “you” are in a bad mood, punishing children to set an example to others it is those things that cause resentment and scar children for life.

Children learn by pushing the limits, my mother who brought me up never used to hit me but used other forms of punishment until one day I pushed her and pushed her beyond her boundaries, I knew I was doing wrong but kept up the bad behaviour until she took a horse whip from the hall where it was kept and told me if I did not behave I would be whipped. I took no notice and my mother was left with no alternative but to whip me. Three stokes across the back of my legs.

Did I resent her no for doing that no!

Did I grow up to beat my wife and children no!

I understood I had crossed the line and I deserved the severe punishment I received, if anything it made me respect my mother even more than previously as it showed me she had the courage to back her words with action no matter how much the action hurt her.

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By *V-AliceTV/TS over a year ago

Ayr

"People started trying to be friends with their children instead of parenting them.

It's not necessary to hit your children to have authority over them."

Pretty much this. Obviously, you love them, you are their friend; but saying "no" early and often isn't difficult. They'll adopt your rules as "normal".

Make it clear who's in charge and never let them forget it - even as you let them grow. It works.

The moment you let them make the rules, you've failed them.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

The majority of smacks will be delivered in a fit of rage & without a clear explanation as to why it’s happened.

And I don't agree with those

I don’t believe a smacker will give up and try something else, unless someone intervens and shows them an alternative way, they will just smack harder.

If it’s an effective method for you, then so be it.

But to think there is no possibility of other repercussions whatsoever, then that is a view of someone out of touch with reality, imo.

Happens in cases of DV as well as child abuse, the perpetrator doesn’t necessarily go from nought to 100 on the hitting scale, it builds up over a period of time.

I’m not saying the above happens in all circumstances but for all those it doesn’t have any lasting effects there an awful lot of people out there that it has / still having.

It’s a massive grey area of when it’s effective to use and the scale of the force on a scale of 1-10.

I don’t believe it is the most effective way of discipline or teaching a child what is right or wrong.

My old man was hit "clinically" with a belt by my (teetotal) grandad, with a "this'll hurt me more than it hurts you" attitude. Is that OK because it was emotionless?

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Teenagers are different to kids though as they have the ability to reason and listen, a child throwing a tantrum is not reasonable"

Obviously you have never had teen-agers

That statement is about as far from being factually correct as is humanly possible!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

Because I’ve taught him mutual respect. He hates it when I say he’s disappointed me. If he reacted violently I would be concerned there was something else going on and seek professional assistance

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By *icassolifelikeMan over a year ago

Luton

We’ve gone soft. Simple. We spend too long trying to mitigate against things happening through fear of future reprisals, be it a teacher, the police, the military.

Kids aren’t stupid. They pick up on it.

The two words I teach mine are respect and responsibility. Everything can usually fall into those areas. That’s the mentoring.

As for punishments get them where it hurts. Leave enough room for escalation but I’ve cancelled days out, cut short holidays, confiscated toys, even thrown toys away in front of them. Sooner or later they realise and learn.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its shocking how much difference there is between the younger generation. I think Im part of the last generation who had some discipline. It may be the fog of nostalgia, but I can never remember people my age (that O knew) being as disrespectful as teenagers nowadays. When I started comp, I remember all of us being slightly intimidated by the sixth formers. When I was in sixth form, we had year sevens trying to start fights with us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've once hit my son out of anger- and regretted ever since.

You don't need violence to teach a child the difference between right and wrong.

Teenagers are different to kids though as they have the ability to reason and listen, a child throwing a tantrum is not reasonable"

I can’t quite believe I’ve just read that

Funnily enough he had to get through childhood with me being his mother before he got to the grand old age of 15

He was very challenging when he was of a young age, partly because he witnessed his father being violent towards me. When I first had him on my own he would lash out. He would have tantrums. I was in a flat at the time so I used to sit him on the bathroom mat for time out. He hated it! I could still remove things he enjoyed, days out, favourite toy, tv programme. Bed early etc etc When he had calmed down we would sit and discuss things - even 3 year olds can discuss why they have acted a certain way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is no need for violence in the home. But there is a need for boundaries, like the walls of a home they make children feel safer.

The trick is to know when it's the right time to change the rules.

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By *ky19Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating"

Yep. I got a smacked bum as a child, but never ever beaten or abused by my father in any way, despite teachers and authorities instigating a massive witch hunt on him.

This was cos I was round my friends house whose mum was also our teacher. When the dad came in I thought it would be fun to hide under the table to be playful, seeing as I had been doing similar already.

This was construed as me hiding in terror from a male figure and therefore proof of being abused by my father! I was too young to understand in 1990 but already by then the world was going mad. Cue the next few years being absolutely awful with the authorities, a major reason we had to move altogether.

P.s. The authorities tried to get me in a special needs school cos I was really shy and quiet. I was even diagnosed as brain damaged - which I now see was because the doctor was frustrated she couldn't get what she wanted out of me, so she lashed out at me and my parents passives aggressively with her cold and cutting verdict.

I then went on to pass every IQ test etc with ease and be top of the class at the time.

These same people tend to also believe a slipper on the bum constitutes abuse and violence, which kinda says it all.

BTW, millennial kids are often extremely narcissistic douchebags with little sense of boundaries or empathy. Is the 'letting them get away with murder' approach really working so well? Is a slipper on the bum really the same as a shoe round the head in rage?

I for one have no regrets about slippers against my bum, in the same way it's necessary and good for well being to be able to feel a little burnt if you stick a finger on the hob, since I think things like this help me end up with a decent sense of boundaries.

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By *ky19Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"Its shocking how much difference there is between the younger generation. I think Im part of the last generation who had some discipline. It may be the fog of nostalgia, but I can never remember people my age (that O knew) being as disrespectful as teenagers nowadays. When I started comp, I remember all of us being slightly intimidated by the sixth formers. When I was in sixth form, we had year sevens trying to start fights with us

This so much! I felt the same way, that I was in the last generation to have some basic respect and manners.

So it was a surprise to pop on your profile (hope it's OK, just curious about age) and find you're 12 yrs younger than me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I had an interesting discussion about it, that the difference from back in the days where a parent could get more hands on and now where they cant almost touch them without them reporting it to the authorities, what went wrong through the decades, whats your view?"
Some children respond to a good adult to child ear bashing but many don't and their is the problem they become unruly and disruptive and know exactly what they can get away with, they even grin when they achieve it, I never hit my children but not because I disagreed with it more because I was very good at explaining to my children why what they were doing wasn't acceptable but mainly because I took their minds off the problem at hand, distracted them did something with them, children today spend all their time with technology get them outside tennis, cycling anything, give them ambition to do something they respond much better to that than an ear bashing I think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to get a whack if I carried on pushing it after I'd already been told firmly numerous times, I haven't become a violent traumatised adult as a result. "

I agree totally. I can remember the few occasions my father gave me a clip around the ear, so to speak. I grew up loving my father and with a healthy amount of fear that actions had consequences. I like to think I am a well balanced individual. My kids have had this conversation with me a few times and always agree that they felt the same way about any punishment I dished out to them. In the end, my father only had to give me a certain look, and I knew it was time to wind my neck in. Respect.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"There's a huge difference between out right violence and a smack on the hand or the back of the legs.

Finally!

People seem to think a smack on the legs is the same as a savage beating

Yep. I got a smacked bum as a child, but never ever beaten or abused by my father in any way, despite teachers and authorities instigating a massive witch hunt on him.

I then went on to pass every IQ test etc with ease and be top of the class at the time.

These same people tend to also believe a slipper on the bum constitutes abuse and violence, which kinda says it all.

BTW, millennial kids are often extremely narcissistic douchebags with little sense of boundaries or empathy.

You realise you are a millennial, right?

Is the 'letting them get away with murder' approach really working so well? Is a slipper on the bum really the same as a shoe round the head in rage?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Teenagers are different to kids though as they have the ability to reason and listen, a child throwing a tantrum is not reasonable

Obviously you have never had teen-agers

That statement is about as far from being factually correct as is humanly possible!"

yep indeed.

Also the fact that the part of the teenage brain that deals with rational isn’t fully developed until their 20’s means their ability to be reasonable, at times, is severely limited!

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