FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Middle aged? Stuck in a rut?
Middle aged? Stuck in a rut?
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done OP.
I took charge of my life about 5.5 years ago. I wasn't happy how things were so I was pro active and made changes, once of them being joining the swinging scene.
There's only yourself who can take steps to change things. Be positive and most of all enjoy what you do. |
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No, and no.
I'm only 52, so nowhere near middle aged!
;-)
Drawing, painting, guitar, FAB, all things I've started in the last couple of years.
Happier and more content than I have been for a very long time. |
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That's one of the reasons I joined fab 16 months ago, to open me up to new experiences
I'm loving life now, I can't believe I didn't join years ago!
I don't mean just the sex, but also the forums, the banter, and I've made some great friends too |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Well done OP.
I took charge of my life about 5.5 years ago. I wasn't happy how things were so I was pro active and made changes, once of them being joining the swinging scene.
There's only yourself who can take steps to change things. Be positive and most of all enjoy what you do. "
Well done. Keep going.
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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"Travel alone.
It's an amazing experience."
Totally agree, I went to Austria alone it was liberating.
There is something cool about being totally selfish with your time and doing only what you want to do. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"No, and no.
I'm only 52, so nowhere near middle aged!
;-)
Drawing, painting, guitar, FAB, all things I've started in the last couple of years.
Happier and more content than I have been for a very long time."
If you live beyond 104 I'll accept you weren't middle aged when you posted this. 
I think middle age offers us a chance to do things, because we've still got enough energy, and not get hung up on competing, vying for praise or fear of failure.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I asked my husband of 22 years to leave after suffering his mental abuse for too long. So started dating after a while and met mr and started swinging. Big change in my life. X |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"That's one of the reasons I joined fab 16 months ago, to open me up to new experiences
I'm loving life now, I can't believe I didn't join years ago!
I don't mean just the sex, but also the forums, the banter, and I've made some great friends too"
I get that. I started having sex again 8 years ago and led me here.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Travel alone.
It's an amazing experience.
Totally agree, I went to Austria alone it was liberating.
There is something cool about being totally selfish with your time and doing only what you want to do. "
It is so liberating.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I asked my husband of 22 years to leave after suffering his mental abuse for too long. So started dating after a while and met mr and started swinging. Big change in my life. X "
Well done and long may it continue.
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"That's one of the reasons I joined fab 16 months ago, to open me up to new experiences
I'm loving life now, I can't believe I didn't join years ago!
I don't mean just the sex, but also the forums, the banter, and I've made some great friends too
I get that. I started having sex again 8 years ago and led me here.
"
I'd been celibate (mostly through choice) for over 5 years before joining. Safe to say I haven't looked back since...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a great post, thank you op x
I needed to see this after a really crappy hotel days last night that made me feel like an ugly freak.
I'm not sure how or what I'm going to do but I need to look a thing this xxx |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What a great post, thank you op x
I needed to see this after a really crappy hotel days last night that made me feel like an ugly freak.
I'm not sure how or what I'm going to do but I need to look a thing this xxx "
We all have times when we feel crappy. The man I am using as an example looked and felt older a few years ago. He's now trim, healthier, has fewer wrinkles and all because he feels energised and interested in life again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need to take note of this thread x
You already had a lot of interests so I'm interested to see where you might go next.
"
Erm.. perhaps I could become a nun  |
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"Travel alone.
It's an amazing experience."
Agreed.
My children have all travelled the world for business and pleasure and lived all over the UK. I've never lived or worked more than eight miles from where I was born. Although I've travelled extensively it's always been with others.
I needed go get away after my daughter got married. Friends were unable to get the time off, or wanted beach holidays. I wanted to travel around Morocco, so I booked it and I enjoyed every second.
I've joined my local cinema and go to the pictures and a meal by myself. At least once a week I'll go out for coffee alone. I'm now planning trips around the east of England looking at places to live.
I have children, grandchildren, friends and a partner but I like my own company and enjoy doing things at my pace.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need to take note of this thread x
You already had a lot of interests so I'm interested to see where you might go next.
Erm.. perhaps I could become a nun "
I wouldn't make a habit of that though  |
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"Travel alone.
It's an amazing experience.
Totally agree, I went to Austria alone it was liberating.
There is something cool about being totally selfish with your time and doing only what you want to do. "
Liberating, freeing... and you can do what you want, when you want.
You also have time to think...
Really think, savour and appreciate the moment you're in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a brilliant positive thread Lickerty  .
I find my wanders with pooch and max explorations keep me chipper and I'm a bit of a local history geek . I could go on for ages about the area here and all the amazing things that have happened here over the millennia.
Life is to be lived and savoured |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"This is a brilliant positive thread Lickerty .
I find my wanders with pooch and max explorations keep me chipper and I'm a bit of a local history geek . I could go on for ages about the area here and all the amazing things that have happened here over the millennia.
Life is to be lived and savoured "
I would love to visit and have a guided tour. I keep meaning to visit Wales again as I haven't been in over 10 years now.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Travel alone.
It's an amazing experience.
Agreed.
My children have all travelled the world for business and pleasure and lived all over the UK. I've never lived or worked more than eight miles from where I was born. Although I've travelled extensively it's always been with others.
I needed go get away after my daughter got married. Friends were unable to get the time off, or wanted beach holidays. I wanted to travel around Morocco, so I booked it and I enjoyed every second.
I've joined my local cinema and go to the pictures and a meal by myself. At least once a week I'll go out for coffee alone. I'm now planning trips around the east of England looking at places to live.
I have children, grandchildren, friends and a partner but I like my own company and enjoy doing things at my pace.
"
I live alone so my changes are about interacting more with people (even if I find them tedious to start with).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a brilliant positive thread Lickerty .
I find my wanders with pooch and max explorations keep me chipper and I'm a bit of a local history geek . I could go on for ages about the area here and all the amazing things that have happened here over the millennia.
Life is to be lived and savoured
I would love to visit and have a guided tour. I keep meaning to visit Wales again as I haven't been in over 10 years now.
"
There would always be a welcome in the hillside |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not middle aged yet. But my life has gone through so many changes in the last 2 years that kind of don't know what to do now. I don't know where I want to live, if I want to be single or not or if I want to carry on with my job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s amazing
When I was 35 I went back uni and changed career now wouldn’t look back
Also been pushing music more I have always done since 20 but now feel more committed (delayed at mo due to recovery) plan is gig an record more and enjoy again now had operation |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm not middle aged yet. But my life has gone through so many changes in the last 2 years that kind of don't know what to do now. I don't know where I want to live, if I want to be single or not or if I want to carry on with my job. "
Change it all at once or work it through. For most of us, life has a way of working through the changes.
Good luck.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"That’s amazing
When I was 35 I went back uni and changed career now wouldn’t look back
Also been pushing music more I have always done since 20 but now feel more committed (delayed at mo due to recovery) plan is gig an record more and enjoy again now had operation "
Recover well.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Another one who went back to Uni and changed my career and life completely. I now have an amazing job, travelling worldwide am l doing a PhD and now I’m considering working overseas. Not something 8 years ago I could have ever even dreamed of. It’s all out there you just have to take a leap of faith. I’d far rather regret doing things than regret not doing them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not middle aged yet. But my life has gone through so many changes in the last 2 years that kind of don't know what to do now. I don't know where I want to live, if I want to be single or not or if I want to carry on with my job. "
So many choices- isn't it freeing having all those choices? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s amazing
When I was 35 I went back uni and changed career now wouldn’t look back
Also been pushing music more I have always done since 20 but now feel more committed (delayed at mo due to recovery) plan is gig an record more and enjoy again now had operation
Recover well.
"
Oh I will I have things wanna do like recording music an gigs |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Another one who went back to Uni and changed my career and life completely. I now have an amazing job, travelling worldwide am l doing a PhD and now I’m considering working overseas. Not something 8 years ago I could have ever even dreamed of. It’s all out there you just have to take a leap of faith. I’d far rather regret doing things than regret not doing them"
Keep going and enjoying it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another one who went back to Uni and changed my career and life completely. I now have an amazing job, travelling worldwide am l doing a PhD and now I’m considering working overseas. Not something 8 years ago I could have ever even dreamed of. It’s all out there you just have to take a leap of faith. I’d far rather regret doing things than regret not doing them"
That’s amazing well done I don’t think younger me would have made change I did and career I chose when I was 25 I wouldn’t have want do it
Funny how things change just need to leap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine was a lifestyle overhaul!! I was seriously over weight and I decided enough was enough!! Little by little changed things like the way i cooked and going for a walk etc x almost 9 stone shifted so far but I've still got a long way to goal!! I'll get there though x |
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"Mine was a lifestyle overhaul!! I was seriously over weight and I decided enough was enough!! Little by little changed things like the way i cooked and going for a walk etc x almost 9 stone shifted so far but I've still got a long way to goal!! I'll get there though x"
Now that's inspirational! How long has that taken you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have Lickety. I joined a great Gardening Club as I love to grow things. We go on garden visits locally, Chelsea Flower Show etc. I then joined my Line Dancing Class as I absolutely love to dance, great group of girls. I run a monthly Book Club and read all sorts of interesting books I'd never personally choose. I've also learned to ride scooters and have a Lambretta.
You have to follow your dreams x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine was a lifestyle overhaul!! I was seriously over weight and I decided enough was enough!! Little by little changed things like the way i cooked and going for a walk etc x almost 9 stone shifted so far but I've still got a long way to goal!! I'll get there though x"
That’s amazing well done have you done by self or using a plan or group I use sw lost 4-5st but due to health have put some back on will loose soon
Well done again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you x
It's taken about 5 years so far!! I know that sounds like a long time but the changes I've made have been so gradual that it doesn't get noticed x
Plus the slower it comes off, the more likely it is to stay off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you x
It's taken about 5 years so far!! I know that sounds like a long time but the changes I've made have been so gradual that it doesn't get noticed x
Plus the slower it comes off, the more likely it is to stay off "
Never apologise for time it’s a big thing change mind set and stuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not middle aged yet. But my life has gone through so many changes in the last 2 years that kind of don't know what to do now. I don't know where I want to live, if I want to be single or not or if I want to carry on with my job.
So many choices- isn't it freeing having all those choices? x"
No its terrifying and I hate that I cant ring and discuss it with my mum x |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Something I've been thinking of more and more lately. Hit rock bottom over the past 3yrs and just starting to feel like there should be more to life. "
Sometimes we need to be at the bottom to find a reason to climb. Life is only that period between birth and death and what we do with it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine was a lifestyle overhaul!! I was seriously over weight and I decided enough was enough!! Little by little changed things like the way i cooked and going for a walk etc x almost 9 stone shifted so far but I've still got a long way to goal!! I'll get there though x
That’s amazing well done have you done by self or using a plan or group I use sw lost 4-5st but due to health have put some back on will loose soon
Well done again "
Mainly by myself but I do use the sw/ww cook books for inspiration  The hairy bikers dieters book is also like a bible to me lol x |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm not middle aged yet. But my life has gone through so many changes in the last 2 years that kind of don't know what to do now. I don't know where I want to live, if I want to be single or not or if I want to carry on with my job.
So many choices- isn't it freeing having all those choices? x
No its terrifying and I hate that I cant ring and discuss it with my mum x "
Change can be scary but we make changes all the time. Even though you can't talk to your mother you can still play through the discussion you would have had with her. Or, find someone who can listen to you.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Since leaving my ex it’s been change after change.
Recently I started burlesque and sept I start Pilates.
Little steps and all that."
Little steps add up to a lot.
I am tempted to try burlesque... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since leaving my ex it’s been change after change.
Recently I started burlesque and sept I start Pilates.
Little steps and all that.
Little steps add up to a lot.
I am tempted to try burlesque..."
I thought I was too fat for burlesque but actually it’s very sexy and quite powerful.
Give it a go. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Since leaving my ex it’s been change after change.
Recently I started burlesque and sept I start Pilates.
Little steps and all that.
Little steps add up to a lot.
I am tempted to try burlesque...
I thought I was too fat for burlesque but actually it’s very sexy and quite powerful.
Give it a go."
I just might... although it will make me want to buy new outfits.
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I joined Fab. That’s the biggest life change. I simply can’t find more spare time that isn’t taken up being a carer for a disabled son, work responsibilities and domestic stuff. Plus spending as much time as I can on the beach or in the sea.
I’m past it for a lot of people on here anyway but with age comes confidence and attitude so actually, even though I mention it, I could’nt care less. |
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"Say yes instead of no.
My outlook on most things!
I hope it continues into your middle years. There is a period when life sucks some of that away.
"
I get it. But seen too many good lads perish without sampling ALL that life can offer. Say yes. Life’s too short before you’re told to say no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since leaving my ex it’s been change after change.
Recently I started burlesque and sept I start Pilates.
Little steps and all that."
I recently took up Pilates, the instructor asked how flexible I was, I said I can’t Thursday. |
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"I joined Fab. That’s the biggest life change. I simply can’t find more spare time that isn’t taken up being a carer for a disabled son, work responsibilities and domestic stuff. Plus spending as much time as I can on the beach or in the sea.
I’m past it for a lot of people on here anyway but with age comes confidence and attitude so actually, even though I mention it, I could’nt care less. "
You have my thoughts friend. None of that is easy. |
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"Since leaving my ex it’s been change after change.
Recently I started burlesque and sept I start Pilates.
Little steps and all that.
I recently took up Pilates, the instructor asked how flexible I was, I said I can’t Thursday. "
I went to Pilates once. Turned up with an eye patch and a parrot on my shoulder. Didn’t read the small print!!!  |
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"Since leaving my ex it’s been change after change.
Recently I started burlesque and sept I start Pilates.
Little steps and all that.
I recently took up Pilates, the instructor asked how flexible I was, I said I can’t Thursday.
I went to Pilates once. Turned up with an eye patch and a parrot on my shoulder. Didn’t read the small print!!! "
Fool! I went and told them I’d flown a plane but no such luck. |
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"No, and no.
I'm only 52, so nowhere near middle aged!
;-)
Drawing, painting, guitar, FAB, all things I've started in the last couple of years.
Happier and more content than I have been for a very long time.
If you live beyond 104 I'll accept you weren't middle aged when you posted this.
I think middle age offers us a chance to do things, because we've still got enough energy, and not get hung up on competing, vying for praise or fear of failure.
"
Well we should still be on here, so I'll re-open the thread!
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Life is a phenomenon. You can shape it but you can never be sure of the twists and turns.
Four years ago, I was working in central London and doing quite nicely thank you and then I went somewhere and made two decisions which have changed everything.
If you want to do something different or make a change and you're really not sure. Do it. Gamble. You're here only once.
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"Life is a phenomenon. You can shape it but you can never be sure of the twists and turns.
Four years ago, I was working in central London and doing quite nicely thank you and then I went somewhere and made two decisions which have changed everything.
If you want to do something different or make a change and you're really not sure. Do it. Gamble. You're here only once.
It’s not that easy when you have other people to consider. In many respects it’s not just ones own life, it’s other people’s as well.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm enjoying not being old, for now.
You're 6 months my junior so I suppose I'd better enjoy that too. "
We have rickety bones and flatulence to look forward too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not middle aged but my life had become stagnant- still working through issues but finally feel like things are at the end if the beginning.
One or 2 really hard decisions made but it’s for the benefit of my mental health and therefore physical health.
I can see how lots of people become sheep but it’s no way to live.
Keep on plugging |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Life is a phenomenon. You can shape it but you can never be sure of the twists and turns.
Four years ago, I was working in central London and doing quite nicely thank you and then I went somewhere and made two decisions which have changed everything.
If you want to do something different or make a change and you're really not sure. Do it. Gamble. You're here only once.
It’s not that easy when you have other people to consider. In many respects it’s not just ones own life, it’s other people’s as well.
"
True, but even little things can be that change. The man in my OP started by listening to opera. Something he had always dismissed, no matter how much I urged. It was also something he could fit into being busy with family, work, cancerous parents etc.
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By *i1971Man
over a year ago
Cornwall |
Great thread OP. Don't consider myself middle aged yet, but I guess I must be I've realised I've been stuck in a rut for several years but have made many changes over the past 2 or 3 years including health & fitness goals.
Have always wanted to play piano, so got a keyboard & learning on that, after all is smaller than a piano. Also started playing electric guitar & actually doing grade exams! |
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"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
"
Yes. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
Yes. "
What have you done? |
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"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
Yes.
What have you done?"
Check out my friends pics. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
Yes.
What have you done?
Check out my friends pics."
You look very young and virile. |
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"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
Yes.
What have you done?
Check out my friends pics.
You look very young and virile."
Not bad for 43 eh? |
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|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
Yes.
What have you done?
Check out my friends pics.
You look very young and virile.
Not bad for 43 eh?"
Not bad for half that.
|
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or View forums list | |
"Make a change.
Someone close to me changed his life a few years just by going out and trying new things.
Out of that has formed a hobby band. They played their first gig to a small room of family and friends just 20 months ago and now they have played in front of more than 30,000 (not all at the same time) and keep getting bookings.
I'm taking a leaf out of his book and signing up to do things I'm not good at just to see if it opens me up to new experiences.
Have you managed to reinvigorate your life?
Yes.
What have you done?
Check out my friends pics.
You look very young and virile.
Not bad for 43 eh?
Not bad for half that.
"
Oh you!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm so stuck in a rut and have been for the last few years 
I need to start living and making new friends! "
Well, you have a lovely smile so that's a great start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I moved a four hour drive away at the end of January. Best thing I have done in a long time. Have made new friends, got involved in village life and joined various groups/activities and feel happier than I have done in a long time. It's invigorating |
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Since January my life has changed dramatically. I’m now completely single and my lifestyle is wholly different. Less party animal more chubby gym bunny. I swapped the fags for a vape. I’m steadily losing weight and I started at an am dram group with my daughter. Life is bloody awesome. I lost the dead weight and I feel that my mid/late 30s may possibly be the time of my life.
Listen to OP. Make the changes. What’s the worst that can happen? |
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